My Almost Ex

by Piper Rayne

  “But it would’ve come up if and when I found someone else.”

  “True, but I felt if you left Adam because of that, knowing how much you love him, it was because it was so important to him. Do you remember leaving now?”

  I shake my head. “I found out from the doctor.”

  “Then hopefully when you read the journal entry, you’ll understand a little bit of why I made the decision I did.”

  I pick up the journal, the weight of it heavy in my hands. I’m almost scared to read what I wrote.

  “I thought about just mailing it, but I want you to know how sorry I am. I’m your mother, and I never should’ve let this get so out of hand. In some weird way, I convinced myself I was doing right by trying to protect you, but I was wrong.” She stands. “I’ll leave you to it. I’m at the inn if you want to talk. Otherwise, I’m flying back home tomorrow morning. I understand it might take you a while to forgive me, maybe you never will, but I hope you do.” She gives me a sad smile, unshed tears in her eyes.

  I go to stand, but she shoos me back down. “I’ll see myself out.” She walks toward the door but turns around before she leaves. “And Lucy, fertility treatments have improved since we were trying for Zane. I know after what you said in there what you’re worried about, but you’re strong enough. Look at you right now… you came here, faced your fears with Adam, and it all turned out okay. Who’s to say the same won’t happen again?”

  She turns and I hear the door click shut a second later.

  I hold the journal tightly and walk outside to the deck, sit at the patio table, and find my last entry.

  I did it and I feel worse than I’ve ever felt in my life. I left Adam this morning with nothing more than a weak excuse about me not being happy. I’m such a chickenshit. But I know that my inability to give him a child would only tear us apart at some point. I saw what fertility treatments did to my parents’ marriage and my heart would never be able to handle that happening to Adam and me. I told myself when I drove away that I loved him enough to let him go. Even when I stopped at the base of the mountain and second-guessed myself. It took every ounce of willpower not to do a U-turn and run back into his arms. Adam’s suffered enough loss in his life after his mom’s death. And I’ve already taken a career involving his drawing and college football away from him. I couldn’t take away his chance at having his own family too. His words the night we decided to try to conceive still ring in my ear. How excited he was to be a dad and have a family of his own. We argued about whether it’d be a boy or girl and if it was a boy, whether he’d have the Greene football genes. He joked that we’d be the favorites because we’d give Grandma Ethel her first great-grandbaby.

  God, I miss him so much my heart aches. But it’s better this way. I’d rather him hate me now than resent me in the years to come when all our spare rooms are empty. I know if I told him, he’d insist that we could be happy, but it would just be yet another thing I’ve taken from him. I’m tired of taking. I look at this as though I’m giving him a chance at the life he deserves and wants. Even if it’s killing me to do it, I have to stay strong.

  This is my last journal entry because there’s nothing I want to write about anymore. I’m not going to depress myself more by staring at a blank page with a pen in my hand. So, wish me luck wherever life takes me.

  I shut the book even though I want to read more. I roll over in my mind what I just read as I stare into the trees. I understand why I did it. The guilt that’s consumed me since I found out yesterday is greater than anything I’ve ever had to bear. Even losing my memory. I’m disappointing the person I love the most. Isn’t it normal to want to give my husband a child? To see him cry holding our baby for the first time? If I attack this journey of infertility, I have to prepare myself for disappointment because it just might not happen. But Adam is right—we need to fight for us, fight for our family. We’ve come way too far not to.

  I’m so distracted with my thoughts that it takes me a few seconds to register the feeling of soft fur brushing along my ankles. I look down and find a puppy with a giant peony attached to its collar and a box that says, “Open me.”

  “Where did you come from?” I laugh and pick up the puppy and look over my shoulder, not finding anyone.

  Opening the box, I find my wedding ring nestled inside. It’s shiny and bright and looks brand new.

  “Did I tell you about Cam’s dog?” Adam comes out of the house and leans against the railing in front of me. He glances at the journal on the table but only gives it a fleeting look. “He got a dog at the dog park knocked up. Just chased her down and mounted before anyone could stop them.”

  “Really?” I pet the little puppy. It’s so cute.

  “We all know Cam can’t raise a squad of puppies. They’d follow in their dad’s footsteps and then there’d be puppies running all over Sunrise Bay. So this little guy needs a mommy and daddy and I figured we could use some practice. Plus, a little pet therapy while we set forth on our new journey.”

  I pick up the puppy and chuckle at what I find.

  “But first…” He walks over and plucks the ring from my finger before falling down on bended knee. “We need to get remarried. I loved our first wedding, but I need to marry this Lucy. Not the old or new, just the Lucy who got me to fall in love with her twice in a lifetime.” He winks.

  “There’s one problem here,” I say.

  He looks at me skeptically.

  “Our little boy is actually a little girl.”

  He shakes his head with a smile. “All I care is that she’s healthy.”

  “Good answer.”

  He holds the ring. “What do you say, Lucy Greene? Marry me again?”

  “I’d marry you every day for the rest of my life.” I try to blink away my building tears.

  He slides the ring on my finger, stands, and bends over, kissing me until the puppy starts licking our chins. “Are you sure you want kids? Because if I’m gonna be cockblocked…”

  I fist his shirt and tug him toward me, smashing his lips to mine.

  Life doesn’t get much better than this. I don’t need all my memories to know that.

  One Year Later

  Lucy and I walk into Truth or Dare Brewery the night before tourist season begins in Sunrise Bay. It’s packed as usual, but Lucy laughs from seeing a bunch of Lucy Takes Flight on the tables.

  “What’s up, Molly?” I ask while she pours Lucy’s favorite, Melting Heart, and slides it her way. And then pours my favorite, No Stout for You.

  “Nothing, just got back from Las Vegas on the red-eye this morning and I’m exhausted.”

  “Oh yeah, girls’ trip. How fun,” Lucy says.

  I swing my arm around Lucy’s shoulders and pull her closer. “Not more fun than hanging out with me and fruity umbrella drinks though, right?”

  We flew back from the Caribbean yesterday, and let’s just say we didn’t see much of the beach. But it was our second honeymoon and well worth it. We opted to get remarried before tourist season—and looking at how full this room is, that was a smart choice. The regular tourists have clued into the fact that there’s a party before their usual arrival and have started arriving earlier every year.

  “Your tan looks great,” Molly says. “I got stuck inside a casino the entire time.”

  I glance at Lucy and she hits me in the stomach. A little fact about their girls’ trip came out just before we left the Caribbean. I have no idea how the news never reached up here, but it’s taking everything in me not to tell someone. I mean, the queen of gossip in Sunrise Bay turning into the subject of gossip herself? It can’t get any better than that, can it?

  Molly goes down the bar to help someone else, and I slide a stool out for Lucy. We decided to not do anything baby related this past year and enjoy a year of being just the two of us without the pressure of starting a family. I think we needed it after our year apart. Plus, Lola, our little pup, had to learn not to use the house as her potty. She’s still not perfect,
but she’s not getting knocked up at the dog park either.

  “So what do you think? Ready for what’s coming?” Lucy asks me.

  We’ve already had a conversation about the upcoming fertility treatment process, and Stella gave us some great references in Anchorage.

  “Yeah. I’m ready.” I lean in and kiss her temple.

  We needed this year to grieve the loss of how we thought becoming parents would go and to solidify us to face a new challenge. But regardless, we’re starting the process next week.

  “Hey, are you coming to talk to the class on Monday?”

  Lucy’s back at teaching. She loves her job and she’s settled in well.

  “Hey, you’re back.” Presley sits next to Lucy and they chat about our honeymoon.

  Presley and Cade are due to get married next month. No one saw any issue with us pushing our wedding ahead of theirs since we were already married and kept it to immediate family only. Which, with my family, is a lot of people. Susan, Lloyd, and Zane came up from Idaho too. This time around, Lloyd gave Lucy away. Things aren’t perfect between her family and me, but it’s better than it was.

  When I came home that day with Lola a year ago, I found Susan in our driveway, tears falling down her cheeks while she sat in her car.

  After I proposed to Lucy, I told her to forgive her mom. To give her a chance. You only have one mom and I know what it’s like to lose her. We went to the inn and had a tense and awkward dinner, but it was a step in the right direction.

  “How’s Bernie?” I ask Cade, trying to hold back my laugh.

  He rolls his eyes. “I’m hiring another dog trainer. He’s chewing the deck. What the hell?”

  I laugh. Lola is so chill we haven’t had a ton of issues with her, whereas Bernie should’ve been named Cujo.

  “It’s not fucking funny. Fucking Cam messaging Presley about those damn dogs.” He shakes his head.

  I clasp him on the shoulder. “Good luck, man, you’ve got years with that dog.”

  “I don’t know. He might run away.” He smiles, but Presley hears him and the girl’s got a death stare that would scare Satan.

  “So how was the girls’ trip?” Presley asks Molly when she comes over and pours a few beers.

  “You can’t come behind here and pour your girl a beer?” she asks Cade.

  “I’m paying you to do it,” he says.

  “What’s up, guys?” Jed comes out from the back with a quesadilla in his hand. He slides it between Lucy and Presley. “For my favorite sisters-in-law.”

  “We’re your only sisters-in-law and technically I’m not official yet,” Presley says.

  “We don’t need a marriage license to make you family.” Jed walks away into the crowd.

  Mandi, Posey, Clara, and Xavier walk in, and we move to the table by the window so we have more room. It’s only a matter of time before the rest of the Greenes join us.

  “Where’s Nikki?” Mandi asks. “I want details on the Vegas trip.”

  “You don’t want details on our trip?” I ask.

  “Why would we wanna hear how many orgasms you gave each other?” Posey says. “The rest of us aren’t in serious relationships.”

  Lucy’s hand finds mine under the table. I kind of wish we were at home alone.

  The rest of our family arrives, Hank and Marla coming in last. Marla has a hairdo that suggests they were fooling around somewhere. They like to go to the football stadium and make out, which is embarrassing as fuck. I mean, they own a huge house, get your kinks there. Poor Rylan.

  Marla goes right to Molly. “Where’s Nikki? I need to talk to her.”

  I hit Lucy on the thigh under the table and she grabs my hand, squeezing it. She’s adamant that this isn’t our business to share, but Nikki’s the one who had everyone in Sunrise Bay stopping Lucy to remind her about her past.

  Sadly, Lucy hasn’t had too many more memories resurface. Dr. Lipstein gave her hope that she might one day, not to count it out, but she’s accepted it may never happen. I told her we’ll make new, better memories anyway.

  “Oh, what did you need?” Molly asks. I can tell she knows exactly why Marla wants to speak to Nikki.

  How long did Nikki think she could keep something like this hidden?

  Lucy pokes me in the stomach, and I look away from Marla and Molly. My wife glares at me. I relent and turn around to join the conversation with the rest of my siblings. We shoot the shit—Jed complains about the tuxedo he has to wear for Cade’s wedding, Posey volunteers to do everyone’s hair, and I order Lucy honey barbeque wings.

  A half hour later, I spot Nikki walking through the square toward the brewery. When she comes inside, she heads straight to the bar and whispers something to Molly. Molly eyes Marla and they whisper again.

  I slap Lucy’s thigh to tell her it’s coming. She rolls her eyes, giving me that damn look again. How can she not be as excited as I am? This is the kind of shit siblings live for. I wish I could’ve told Cade. He’s gonna love this.

  “Nikki.” Marla stands, but a group of people get in her way.

  Nikki has a panicked look on her face now and I’m about to burst out laughing until Lucy pinches me on the thigh.

  “What the hell?” I ask.

  “Can you two really not keep your hands off one another?” Chevelle says across the table.

  “What do you care what they’re doing?” Cam chimes in—because he does every time Chevelle speaks.

  Jed hands Molly a stack of empty glasses then comes over. “Holy shit, you’re never going to believe who just walked in.”

  “Oh God, do I even want to know?” Clara asks. “Someone from high school?”

  “No.” Jed glances back at the door.

  I follow his vision to a big guy walking toward the bar.

  “Nikki, we pay Molly to work. You realize that, right?” Cade says, not paying attention to Jed. He’s gonna miss this moment.

  “Nikki!” Marla waves. “We need to talk.”

  “Logan Stone,” Jed says.

  “Who’s Logan Stone?” Posey asks.

  “The MMA fighter?” Xavier says, glancing around now.

  “No shit!” Cam turns to see him. “Why would he be in Sunrise Bay?”

  Chevelle turns and finds Logan Stone in the crowd too. “Oh, he’s a hottie.”

  That earns her a glare from Cam.

  “You know what, Cade, just leave me be. She’s still working, and I need her advice. That’s what bartenders do, right?” Nikki snips at Cade.

  “Hey, Nik,” Molly says, her eyes growing wide when she sees Logan.

  Nikki puts up her hand at her friend.

  “You just had a girls’ weekend. Why do you need to talk to her so bad?” Cade asks. “Not everything is urgent.”

  “Nik,” Molly says again.

  Logan Stone is right behind her now.

  Jed can’t lift his mouth off the floor and Xavier and Cam are ogling the man. I hit Lucy on the thigh again. She glances behind her, rolling her eyes at my excitement about what’s about to go down.

  “Nik,” Molly says louder this time.

  “What?” Nikki asks, and Molly points behind her.

  Nikki slowly turns around and stares at the man behind her. I’ve never seen my sister look so panicked.

  Jed finally lifts his jaw off the floor. “Hey, man, can I help you with something?”

  Logan shakes his head, his eyes never leaving Nikki.

  “Who is this guy?” Mandi asks Nikki.

  “I’m her husband,” Logan says and the entire restaurant quiets.

  #karma

  What did happen to that necklace?

  Read Lucy and Adam’s bonus scene to find out! CLICK HERE

  *Please note by downloading the bonus scene you are agreeing to join our newsletter if you’re not already a subscribed member.

  How exactly did Nikki end up marrying a famous MMA Fighter?

  Find out in her book, My Vegas Groom!

  CLICK HERE to grab y
our copy!

  Freebie

  BOOK ONE, Lessons from a One-Night Stand (CLICK HERE) in our much loved BIG FAMILY ROM COM series, The Baileys, is FREE on all retailers!

  Series is complete and ready to BINGE!

  Cockamamie Unicorn Ramblings

  * * *

  AMNESIA! That was our excitement level when we were plotting out The Greene Family Series and decided we were going to conquer a trope we’ve been dying to write. We’re both lovers of the amnesia trope but haven’t been able to find a book to make it work. Then came Adam and Lucy and voila, amnesia! To say we’ve been excited to write this for a while is an understatement.

  * * *

  So, what changed from the plotting to page? Well, not a whole lot. Surprise, right? For us too. We did take some fictional liberties when it came to Lucy’s amnesia for romance reasons and we’re okay with that. When we came up with the storyline that she couldn’t have children being the reason she left, we had to do heavy research since it came as a surprise to her. Plus, we loved that we could bring in Stella from The Baileys series. LOL This time, our plotting worked out well but we’re probably in a deficit if you added up all our books.

  * * *

  We hope you enjoyed Adam and Lucy’s story. Infertility is a tough subject to handle in fiction. As some of you may know, Rayne went through it herself for years before she was blessed with twins. It’s one of the darkest times of her life. The tests, the shots, the disappointment. Even when you finally hear the wonderful words, “you’re pregnant”, every milestone up to the delivery of a healthy baby or babies, you’re waiting for that pin to drop, for something to go wrong. But on the flip side, the science of infertility treatments gives so many couples the opportunity to be parents, so there’s the happiness too. Okay, enough on that subject, we write romcoms, right? LOL