Hidden Gem Short Story Collection (9781301405985)
Page 2
“Thank you,” Zoe smiled, taking her coffee from the barista. But just as she turned, she felt a tap on her shoulder.
“Zoe?”
Oh shit. She recognized that voice. Well, pretty much everyone in the world recognized that voice. Crap. She should’ve realized that she might run into him at this particular coffee bar – after all, he’d been the one to recommend it to her. Turning slowing around, Zoe stretched her lips into a smile that hopefully looked less awkward than it felt.
“Hey, Tyler.”
“Hey.” In an off white, waffle knit Henley and jeans, he looked the same as he had when she’d last seen or spoke to him, which had been more than a year ago. His brown hair was shorter but that was about it. He looked good. Better than he had in the photos she’d seen right after his breakup with Gemma. His build actually looked even more muscular than it had since he’d bulked up for Carbine.
“Oh! Congratulations on the nomination, by the way,” Zoe said, grateful to have something to say. Earlier in the month, Tyler had nabbed a Best Actor nomination. He’d been superb in his role as Colby Hawkins in Carbine but the Oscar nod had come as a surprise to Zoe, especially since his veteran co-star, Liam Brody, hadn’t received one. In her opinion, he deserved it more for his performance. But maybe she was just angry with Tyler for what he’d put Gemma through that year. At least Madison’s face didn’t get nominated for anything either, Zoe reasoned. She had been beyond relieved over that considering the nightmare Madison had caused Gemma and Tyler’s relationship throughout the shooting of the film.
Blinking herself out of her thoughts, Zoe looked at Tyler, who wore an odd, faint smile on his lips. Oh shit. You’re thinking about Gemma now and he can see it in your face.
“Thank you,” Tyler said. Zoe wondered if she was imagining the weird look he was giving her. Maybe she was just being paranoid. And way too anxious. She didn’t want to be around Tyler. She knew she’d run into him randomly but she felt as if she were betraying Gemma by even speaking to him. Not that Gemma had sworn her to some sort of best friend promise to forever hate him.
But Zoe did resent him. As a best friend, she had studied Gemma in the breakup aftermath and to her dismay she hadn’t rebounded from Tyler. She hadn’t taken up Zoe’s offers to be a wingwoman or taken to any of the gorgeous guys Zoe invited out with them. She had thrown herself into her new line, which was fine – if there was anybody who understood the importance of career success, it was Zoe – but she wished that Gemma would let loose and give herself a break at some point. She deserved to, especially after the emotional chaos Tyler had put her through with the Madison thing. And with the engagement ring.
“So… how have you been?” Tyler asked, nodding toward a corner table before heading over to it and taking a seat. Damn it. She hadn’t planned on staying to catch up but now she had to follow Tyler over to his table or be completely rude. Drawing in a deep breath through her nose, Zoe went over to Tyler’s spot in the corner. But she didn’t sit.
“I’ve been good! Really good. Really busy, too, though. I actually, um,” Zoe pointed over her shoulder and out the door with her thumb. “I have to get going. I have this… thing.”
Tyler smirked. “Zoe, you don’t have to feel weird around me because of Gemma.”
Zoe stared, for some reason surprised by his ability to say her name without spontaneously combusting. She had kind of imagined him to be more damaged than that. But maybe he was and simply not showing it – though he’d never been one not to wear his heart on his sleeve. Since meeting him at sixteen, Zoe had always found Tyler to be pretty open. God, we’ve known each other forever, she realized. Seven years, almost eight. Tyler seemed to read her mind.
“Unless I’m mistaken, you and I were friends before either of us met Gemma, so we should at least be able to run into each other in public and have a halfway normal conversation. Right?” he asked, once again nodding at the seat across from him. “Also, I spot a paparazzo outside. And a bunch of people pretending to take pictures of their lattes when they’re actually taking pictures of us. I know you’re not cold enough to let them document you ditching me,” he laughed.
Zoe let herself smile. “Fair.” Pulling the chair out, she took a seat. Once she sat, she felt an odd sense of relief. It did feel better not to hate Tyler. But she still couldn’t help feeling strange around him. Their longstanding friendship didn’t change the fact that she was far closer with Gemma, that she was the best friend of the girl who had declined his marriage proposal only fourteen months ago.
“So how have you been?” Tyler asked with a little crooked smile.
“What the hell is that look?” Zoe demanded with sass, trying not to sound amused.
“I have never seen you look more awkward.”
She snorted. “Well, I’ve never felt more awkward but thanks for pointing it out.”
“You asked.” Tyler sat back in his chair and grinned. “Now tell me how you’ve been without looking like I’m holding you hostage here. You’re making me feel like an asshole when all I want is to hear about the Bond sequel. Do you die dramatically in this one?”
“What? Dude, I can’t give away spoilers,” Zoe feigned attitude, starting to feel slightly more at ease. She had to commend Tyler on somehow relieving her discomfort and so quickly too. It had been a force to be reckoned with just a minute ago. “You’ll just have to watch when it comes out.”
“Fine. If you do die in this one though, I hope you go out with a bang.”
“With a katana, actually, but you didn’t hear it from me,” Zoe said hastily under her breath. She couldn’t help being particularly excited about that detail of the script – the fact that her character got to maim a dozen guys with a samurai sword before meeting her fate.
“No. Really?” Tyler’s eyes went wide. “Badass,” he nodded with serious approval. Zoe smiled. “So when’s it come out?”
“Um, next week. Have we not done a good enough job promoting the movie that you’re asking that?” Zoe asked playfully. Tyler laughed at himself.
“I’m sure you guys have done an awesome job. I just… don’t really pay attention to things anymore,” he said apologetically. “I haven’t come close to even looking at any blogs or tabloids let alone fully ready up on anything.”
“No, that’s good. You shouldn’t read the tabloids, anyway.”
“Yeah. Nixed that awhile ago,” Tyler said, looking down into his coffee for a moment.
Shit. Change the subject, Zoe urged herself as she felt their conversation veering back toward Gemma-related topics. She couldn’t think of anything though. Luckily, Tyler spoke again.
“So how’s Gavin?”
Seriously? Zoe bit both lips back and blinked at him in a way that answered his question.
“Oh. Shit.” Tyler ran a hand over his lower lip, grimacing. “Zoe, I... sorry. I don’t read the tabloids and…”
“No. Dude. It’s fine. There was no way for you to know otherwise,” Zoe brushed it off, trying to look breezy. With no remaining ties to their old group, there was really no other way for Tyler to know that she and Gavin had been split for nearly half a year now. “It’s not a big deal at all,” she said, perhaps in too much of a rush. Tyler nodded but she caught the brief squint he gave. She flashed him a look. “I’m over him,” she said, immediately regretting it. Jesus Christ, Zoe, when did you start sucking at playing it cool?
“Schedules,” he said simply. “It’s hard.”
“Yeah.” Zoe nodded. “Better to just… see a bunch of people here and there. I’m sure you know.”
Tyler tilted his head to the side. “No, but I understand that rationale.”
Zoe squinted. She suddenly remembered a detail about him from one of the first times they’d hung out together. “Do you?” she asked.
A quizzical smile touching his lips, Tyler cocked his head. “What do you mean by that?” he asked, though just as he did, his phone vibrated on their table. He looked down at it, cursing quietly. “M
y manager,” he groaned under his breath, grabbing it and answering it before looking back up at Zoe. Eyes narrowed, he mouthed, “Hold that thought.”
Suddenly sitting alone, Zoe did just that. She flashed back to the first time she and Tyler had really hung out. They were both barely sixteen. It was a week after he’d finished shooting a cameo for her show, “Outta This World.” Since they had both hit it off on set, laughing and chatting between takes, their publicists had arranged for them to have a very public dinner that his obsessive following could interpret as a date if they wanted to. Tyler’s PR team seemed to find it amusing to torture the fans for a bit before releasing a clarifying statement that he was still very much single.
“They think it makes them love me more because they get all stressed out for a week and then they’re totally relieved when they hear I’m not actually with anyone,” Tyler had explained sheepishly while they sat at dinner, the only unaccompanied teenagers at the posh Japanese restaurant on Santa Monica Boulevard.
“And in the meantime, while they think you’re dating me, I get to receive death threats and know that I’m the reason a million girls are crying themselves to sleep tonight,” Zoe said with a laugh.
“Yeah. I’m sorry about that.”
“It’s okay, it’s kind of funny. I mean it’s better that they think you’re dating a girl instead of knowing like, the truth.”
Tyler frowned. “What’s the truth?” he asked with such genuine curiosity that Zoe felt immediately confused. She had assumed that being the biggest pop star on the planet, he was a thousand times worse than her co-star Marco in terms of having flings and one-night stands. Winding a lock of her straightened hair around her finger, she tried to word herself eloquently.
“Like… you can have any girl you want. Don’t you?”
“I don’t want just any girl.”
Zoe burst out laughing so hard that the next closest table stared. “Sorry,” she said to them insincerely before turning to Tyler with a dubious look. “Wait. You’re telling me that you’re exactly who you are in your songs? That’s… crazy. Dude. If I were you I’d have one of my people round up all the hottest girls at my concerts and have them waiting for me backstage once I’m done.”
Tyler stared at her, unsure if he was shocked or amused by her. He pulled on the collar of his white button-down. “That’s… not me.”
“Why not?” Zoe asked incredulously. “Why have the type of fan base you have if you’re not going to hook up with them?”
“Do you hook up with your fans?” Tyler challenged.
“My fans are mostly girls. I don’t think they’re into me that way. Pretty sure I’m not either.” Zoe looked down at the printed chiffon tank top her team had chosen for her. She made a face, tugging on it until some cleavage showed. “Once I change my image to something older though, and I get some dudes in my fan base, you can bet your ass that I’ll hook up with the hot ones.”
“You say that now.”
“And I’ll say the same thing in a few years. There are too many gorgeous people in this town – in this world – and I’m going to get to know all of them,” Zoe declared triumphantly. “While you keep looking for one girl. Wherever she is.”
Man, I used to be obnoxious, Zoe thought as Tyler ended his calla and returned to their corner table. I’m probably still obnoxious, she realized with a little laugh as he took his seat.
“So tell me what you meant by that before,” he said, smirking in anticipation. He had to know a little of what she meant but she decided last minute not to go into it.
“Oh… nothing. I was just questioning how much you could understand that mindset compared to yours truly. If you read tabloids you’d know that they’ve been calling me the female Casanova.”
Tyler raised his eyebrows. “Been dating?”
“You could call it that,” she laughed. So did he.
“Anyone I know?”
“Not personally. But people you’ve heard of. Probably at least half of them so… twenty out of the forty?” Zoe replied, smirking as Tyler tried to contain the look on his face – probably horror. “That was an exaggeration, by the way.” She shook her head at him.
“How am I supposed to know that?” he laughed. “I remember what you said when we were younger. You were going to get to know every beautiful man in the world or something.” When Zoe grinned, he shook his head and snorted. “Oh man. I’m guessing that wasn’t a huge exaggeration just now.”
“Hey. It’s not like I just pick cute guys off the street and bring them into my bed. I don’t have one-night stands every week. I just hang out with the boys who give me a little thrill here and there and I keep it short and sweet. Our schedules – they don’t give us the time to form some deep connection.”
“Yes they do. You and I both have found people with whom we’ve had a connection.”
“And then what happened?” Zoe challenged, eyebrow cocked. But it took all of a second for her to feel instantly guilty. Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment as Tyler cleared his throat, shifting in his seat and looking once again down at his coffee. “Sorry. I just…”
“No, it’s okay. It’s true. There are ups and downs and the downs can be pretty fucking shitty.”
Zoe nodded, somewhat awed at the fact that they were having this conversation in public. Thankfully, no one was close enough to hear.
“It’s a catch twenty-two,” she shrugged. “Falling in love. It’s amazing because suddenly you’re one half of a whole but it’s also crap because… you’re one half of a whole. Some other person has the power to make you feel happier than anyone else ever could but they also have the power to tear you completely apart. Wouldn’t you rather be in total control of who you are and how you feel?”
Tyler ran a finger absently against his lower lip. “There are people who think that tradeoff is worth it to feel the things that love gives you.”
“And what are those things?”
“Emotional and physical connection, gratification, knowing there’s someone who’s in tune with every part of you, someone who thinks about you the second the wake up and before they go to bed. Who’ll always be there for you.”
“Until he’s not.” Zoe swallowed. “And then the high of all those feelings turns into the worst low in the world, which doesn’t seem worth it when I can almost replicate that high by getting to know other boys. Lots of them, from everywhere.”
Tyler made a face. “This is a good time to point out that quantity doesn’t replace quality.”
“But it still makes me happy. It still gives me a thrill, even if it’s not the same as the one I got with Gavin,” Zoe argued, her mouth snapping shut the second she said his name. She hadn’t planned on it but it had just come out. She wet her lips, looking down at the table as she continued, quieter now. “This… true love thing. Yeah, it feels incredible and nothing’s like it. But it’s not worth it if you get to either have that feeling or the opposite, where you’re reeling and hurting so bad that your chest actually hurts. Because apparently, heartache is real.”
“Yes,” Tyler said, as if it were obvious. He laughed when Zoe flashed him a look.
“Sorry, I just thought it was this cheesy myth you used to sell albums.”
Tyler pretended to wince. “Damn, you had to go there.”
“Kidding. But I’m just saying. I feel satisfied with the way I love.”
“Do you?”
Zoe narrowed her eyes at Tyler. “Don’t sass me. I do. And I want other people to adopt my style of love so the world can be free of heartache and I’ll win the Nobel Peace Prize.”
“That’s not what the Nobel Peace Prize is for.”
“Well, it should be.”
“And they’re just quick fixes, anyway.”
“What are?”
“The guys you see. The satisfaction is temporary.”
“Hey, it’s satisfaction,” Zoe said, unable to help a grin as she thought about certain boys who were particularly good when it c
ame to providing on that front. Drew was one. Olivier was another. “That’s good enough for me!”
Tyler laughed, wrinkling his nose at the expression on her face. “Right. But honestly, is it? When was the last time you had a date where the conversation wasn’t just stupid, surface stuff? I’m talking deep, meaningful conversation that made you think hard and learn new things but laugh your ass off and feel more attracted to the other person when you didn’t think it was even possible? Those kinds of conversations are like the foreplay to the foreplay. You share a connection and it gives context to everything that follows. And it makes it feel that much better.”
Jesus. Zoe stared at Tyler. She shook her head. “God, you’re such a lyricist.”
He laughed. “Really though. Think about it.”
“I don’t have to,” she retorted.
Because she knew the answer. The last night she’d had like that was in the spring. April Thirtieth. She was somewhere outside Beauford, New Jersey with Gavin, at his Aunt Mira’s lake house. The place had essentially become his home that summer since Mira no longer lived there, having moved back to Manhattan to live with her new husband, Hudson. With three days off in her schedule, Zoe had spent every one of them there. She had played house with Gavin, going grocery shopping with him to buy eggs and bacon, which she’d burn while attempting to cook for him in the mornings. He still ate it all, anyway. She had let him pour her glass of red wine at night, after his own failed attempt at cooking dinner. Over Chinese takeout, they would watch whatever was on television since they weren’t really paying attention to the screen anyway. And after falling asleep on the couch for a few hours, they’d go out around two in the morning and jump into the lake – the only part of their day that resembled their usual spontaneity, the unpredictable havoc that dictated their schedules outside of their pretend world of domestic house life.
“Is there anything in this water that might bite my naked ass?” Zoe had asked, wary since on that final night, she had stripped down to nothing when on the nights before, she’d at least worn her bra and boy shorts.