by Jen Wylie
"How do you…get more?"
A shoulder rose and fell. "Next time I take a Fey's fury, I keep some of it."
"I see." His brows drew together as he looked over at Kei. He didn't say anything else.
"So, I'll hold him whie you do your mind thing."
His head snapped back around to stare at her and the pained look on his face almost made her laugh. Then his entire body began to tremble and she huffed out a sigh, setting her hands on her hips. Putting herself in possible danger apparently gave the Elf fits. "Fine. What do you suggest, then?"
∞ ∞ ∞
Baelan eventually stopped panicking. He then took her question literally and thought for quite some time. Now he stood in her bedroom doorway, in front of her, ready to slam the door closed if needed. At least she was still in the house.
Behind her, Bo shifted restlessly. Garen rubbed his head against her hip, trying to give her comfort. The Elf insisted Bo be here and Garen took it upon himself to join them. She couldn't really complain about that. They were family.
Peering around him, she waited for Baelan to make contact again…and waited. Glancing up, she could only see part of his face in profile. Pale, jaw clenched.
Catching her look, he gently pushed her back. "Ready?"
At her nod, all their attention returned to Kei.
A moment later the Fey's eyes once again snapped open. She briefly saw their red glow before he sprang up in a flurry of sheets and claws, a scream tearing from his fanged mouth.
Stumbling from the bed, Kei whirled around, claws slashing at nothing and still screaming. Screaming and screaming.
Her heart lodged in her throat, tears springing to her eyes. She pushed forward but Baelan blocked her way.
"Not yet," he whispered sharply. "Wait for the fury to fade."
The need to help Kei nearly made her frantic. She tried to force the Elf to the side, but his thin form held like a stone wall.
"Let me by," she snarled, wishing she still had fury within her to lend her more strength.
Beyond him, Kei suddenly stopped his frenzied fight against the air, a last scream dying on his lips. He sank to his knees, curling in on himself and clutching his head.
"Stop. Please stop. I can't. Please." His pleas came out hoarse and strangled.
Baelan finally relaxed and stepped to the side. She sprang past him, falling to her knees next to Kei and throwing her arms around him.
"Shh. I'm here. You're safe now. He doesn't have you anymore. You're safe, Kei."
"Stop! I can't..."
The pleading in his voice broke her heart. Bending over him, she held him tighter. "I'm here. I'm here. No one will hurt you. Come back to me, Kei." She moved her hands to his wrists, leaning over his trembling, frail body. "I'm here," she said over and over, both with words and in her mind, hoping he'd hear her.
His claws receded, and she pulled, leaning back and shifting him against her. Adjusting him in her arms, she then brushed stray locks of hair away from his startling pale face.
"Look at me. Look at me. I'm here."
Wide eyes, now orange, lifted to her face. Through heaving breaths, he whispered her name.
"Yes, Kei. I'm here. You're safe. Stay with me."
"It hurts." A shudder ran through him and he winced. "Can't."
His lids began to close, and she gave him a hard shake. "Stay with me, Kei." I need you. I love you! "Tell me what to do. What's wrong?"
He struggled to keep his eyes open and finally succeeded. A hand grasped hers as she went to stroke his cheek. "Broke it. Broke it all. Can't hold on, Aro. Can't–" Another shudder ran through him and tears welled in his eyes. "Falling apart. The pieces. I can't..."
She held him tighter, rocking him. "We'll fix it. Just stay with me." His eyelids began to flutter again. "Kei!" She shook him again. "You have to stay with me."
"Aro, it hurts." Heart-wrenching sorrow filled his eyes as tears slipped down his face and his hand tightened on hers. "Can't hold on," he whispered.
"You can," she insisted. I'm with you, always. "Kei!" Her shout roused him once more. "Forever beside you I shall stand," she whispered, locking her gaze with his. "Together or apart, always I will be with you."
Forever, he finished, a whisper in her mind.
A faint smile pulled at her lips and she sniffed, blinking back tears. There he was.
"Help me," he stuttered out. "I can't…"
"I will. I will," she promised.
"Aro."
Raising her head, she found Bo crouched before them. He quickly held out a cup of warm broth. Taking it from him, she put it to Kei's dry lips.
His eyes fluttered and he turned his head away. Frustration made her clutch him to her more tightly and give him another shake. "You have to drink." Please, Kei. I can't lose you.
His lips parted and she tipped the cup, carefully watching to make sure he swallowed and it didn't all end up running down his face.
Between one sip and another, he stopped drinking. When she looked back to his eyes she found him once again staring at nothing.
"Kei!"
Bo quickly took the cup from her before she could throw it. Holding Kei to her chest, she bent her head over him, not wanting the others to see her tears.
A hand touched her shoulder and she jerked away.
"You should–" Baelan began softly.
"Leave us alone!"
She'd fix him. Somehow.
Something woke her in the night. Staring into the dark, she squeezed Kei's hand and then tried to go back to sleep.
After getting him back into bed, they all stayed up late talking about what happened, trying to figure out what was wrong with him, what to do. They didn't have any answers and she had to force herself not to break down in tears. Tears didn't help. They didn't do anything at all.
The boys hadn't been too impressed she'd forgotten to pull some fury from Kei. Stupid, stupid.
She'd fallen asleep imagining the hurt she'd do to Damon if she ever saw the rotting Dragos again. Returning to those thoughts, her eyes began to drift closed once more.
A rhythmic thumping invaded her senses and her eyes snapped open as she listened. The sound quietly met her straining ears again. What was it? She sat up in bed, trying to figure out what could be causing it. Not the old house. It stopped, and then began again.
Shifting to her better Fey sight, she got out of bed and made her way to the bedroom doorway, her bare feet making no sound. Sticking her head into the hall she paused, listening again.
Across from her room, Bo's door hung partially open. A loud snore startled her, and she shook her head with a small smile. She loved Elaina and felt so happy she and Bo were soon to be married, but hoped the woman already knew about the snoring. On second thought, she didn't want to think about if the woman knew first hand or not.
The door creaked open a little more. You hear it?
She could barely see Garen in the dark, but nodded. "What is it?"
Your Elf is having another bad night.
What does that mean?
He's not…adapting well. He paused and then continued, I smell blood.
The Were's comments left more questions than answers, but the mention of blood sent her moving out of her room. What was wrong with the stupid Elf now? Why didn't you wake me?
I was about to.
Did you check on him?
A wolfish snort answered her. He is your responsibility, not mine.
An angry retort died suddenly on her lips and she just stared into the dark. Garen was right. No matter how much she tried to deny it, accepting Baelan put him in her care. That was how she was raised. Had he been anyone else, it wouldn't have given her a second thought. She cursed under her breath. Consequences of her actions kept coming back to haunt her.
I hate that you're right, she muttered. His answering mental chuckle didn't improve her mood.
Frowning in irritation, she started down the hall a few steps and then paused, trying to locate where the
faint sound came from.
Her eyebrows rose. He was in his room for once.
I'm here if you need me.
Turning slightly, she gave the Were a stiff smile. "Thank you," she answered quietly. "I'll be fine. Keep an eye on Kei?"
Of course.
She stepped quietly into Baelan's dark room. Almost no light came in through the window and even with her sharper Fey sight she could barely make out the sparse furnishings. The bed against the wall separating their rooms sat empty and she frowned.
The thumping began again, and she squinted, finding a dark shape in the corner to her right. Walking slowly, she tipped her head to the side, trying to figure out what the Elf was doing. She should have brought a light with her.
A swift movement in the shadows startled her, but not as much as the sudden small golden ball of light that formed above Baelan's raised hand. It rose slowly to her height and then just hung there above the Elf. Had she spoken her thought out loud?
Her gaze snapped back to him. The Elf sat in the corner, facing her but with his eyes closed. His legs curled to the side, shoulders hunched, both hands now resting limp in his lap. Slowly, his head banged against the wall, over and over.
"Baelan…" she whispered. The sudden rush of concern shocked her, and for a moment she tried to push it away. Closing her eyes, she shook her head and let out a sigh. She couldn't hate him forever and seeing him like this… It brought out a part of her she couldn't deny. She wasn't a monster.
"What's wrong?" When he didn't answer, she said his name again.
"So many shadows," he eventually whispered. "Dark. It's so much darker now. Lost. Lost…in the dark. But I can hear it. Crunch. Crunch."
Had the Elf lost his mind? Moving forward, she crouched down in front of him. Her breath caught in her throat when she noticed the blood on his wrists and hands. Her eyes shot up to his face and then she noted the dark smear on the wall. He'd banged his head bloody.
Shifting to her knees, she leaned forward, cupping his cheek and holding his face in place. "Stop."
He did, immediately. Beneath her fingers, she felt him tremble.
"What's wrong?" He didn't answer. "Baelan, tell me what's wrong."
"I can't do this," he whispered so quietly she had to lean forward to hear him.
His words made her grimace. "You chose this." She paused. "Is it really so bad? I know I've maybe not been nice to you…but you did kill me, and I didn't want this. But I didn't think I was being–"
"No. No," he said softly, cutting off her words. A faint bitter laugh came with a soft shake of his head as tortured gray eyes met hers. "You don't understand."
She was so very tired of hearing those words. "Tell me. Explain to me why things are so bad you're hurting yourself. Why are your runes bleeding? Why–"
Raising a hand, he cut her off again, though she didn't mind. She wanted answers. He rested his bloody head against the wall and closed his eyes.
Why did the stupid Elf have to be so heart-stoppingly beautiful? She shouldn't want to comfort him.
Long lashes fluttered a moment before he opened his eyes again and spoke. "A number of years ago, I used this same spell."
Her mouth dropped open in surprise. "On yourself?"
His disdainful look made her mouth snap closed again. Stupid question.
"Yes. I offended a lord. He was quite taken with the old ways, and I suggested this to make amends. He agreed and I spent two years serving him." Frowning, he looked away. "He was not kind, but I survived and did what..." He shook his head. "I did what I had to do."
His vague story left her with so many questions she didn't even know where to start. "The spell only lasted two years? How do you know how long you'll be with me? You said for as long as I lived."
Tipping his head back, a slightly crazed grin crossed his face. "I have no idea. Time is decided by the spell. I don't know how it works. Considering I took your life, it wouldn't surprise me if I would serve you for quite some time."
"But not until I die?"
He shrugged a shoulder. "You did survive, so probably not. Perhaps a decade or less."
"You lied to me," she said angrily.
"No." A shoulder lifted and fell in a shrug. "It is possible."
She wanted to strangle him again. He'd reminded her though, not to trust him. Another thought occurred to her. "But you don't have an amulet. How can you even stay outside of Rivenward for any length of time?"
He regarded her quietly for a moment before his fingers went to his chest. "You saw my runes." She nodded. "One will ensure I remain connected to my home."
Her brows drew together. "Why didn't Prince have one?"
"It was created within the last few decades. Before he left. He has one now, as well."
A smile spread across her face before she could stop it.
A look of pity filled his eyes. "He'll not be coming any time soon. Another reason he sent me."
So quickly, her happiness faded. "Why?"
He hesitated before speaking. "She bound him," he said quietly. "When he first arrived home. He said she deceived him and bound him. He can't leave Rivenward until he is free."
Her mouth opened on a gasp. She…the queen. His own mother. No. No. "Bound like you are to me?"
He shook his head. "Not this spell, but I don't know which, or what else it does."
Nodding, she looked away. There wasn't anything she could do for her prince, but she could try to make the most of the gift he'd sent her. First, she needed to try to fix some of his crazy, if she even could. "So back to what is wrong?"
He closed his eyes again. "The spell requires I serve. I feel your needs and must meet them. With you…I feel needs, but you either refuse to let me serve you, or for some reason I can't even figure out what it is you are needing. When I fail to remove the need, the spell itself punishes me, first bringing pain and then the runes will bleed." He held up his wrists.
They were bound with strips of cloth, and looking up, she saw the runes around his neck were, too. Thinking about it, she thought they had been for a while but hadn't thought anything of it. Now she knew it was because of the blood and she winced.
"You said they'd do that if you thought of harming me."
He opened his eyes again. "Yes, that as well."
Silently she watched him, thinking on everything he'd said.
With a roll of his eyes, he pointed out the obvious. "I have been in constant pain. Every day it grows. It doesn't go away. I can't even sleep through it anymore."
She winced as a wave of nausea washed over her. "I didn't know."
He looked away and shrugged a shoulder again. "I know, Arowyn. You are not a cruel person, even if you have a temper at times."
She ignored that comment. "So… I need to let you do things?" She grimaced. Him waiting on her hand and foot would drive her mad. A thought crossed her mind. "Can I give you specific things to do? Or would you still feel the need to brush my hair?"
"Verbal commands take precedence," he answered.
"Then problem solved," she said with a grin. At his incredulous look, she explained. "Roan said I should make use of you, so I will. You can help me train. Teach me about the Elves…or whatever else. Certainly, I can keep you busy with things like that, so you don't drive me crazy."
His solemn gaze turned to the wall, yet he nodded.
She frowned. He didn't seem overly happy. "Is there something else?"
Dropping his eyes and tipping his head down so his hair shielded his face, he whispered a quiet, "No."
"Tell me," she commanded.
His shoulders slumped. "It is nothing you can do anything about. I am simply…lost. Everything has been taken; everyone, everything I own, my country. I've lost everything. It is…difficult, coming to terms with this."
"I understand," she said quietly, a knot forming in her throat. "I lost everything, too," she reminded him. "It hurts, and it will for a long time. But you'll find a new place and new friends. Maybe even a new
family like I did." She paused. "You have your life. You even have your power. Things could be worse."
Raising his head slightly, his sad gray eyes stared at her for a long moment. "Even with the pain, most of the time I do regret killing you," he finally said.
Most of the time? Leaning back, she held out her hands. "Come on, let's go get you cleaned up."
He looked incredulously at her hands, but eventually slipped his into them and she pulled them both to their feet.
Letting his hands fall from hers, she turned and headed into the hall. Silently, they made their way downstairs and to the bath room. Pulling a stool out, she gestured for him to sit and filled the bowl on the small table with water.
"I can clean myself."
"I know." She found a cloth, wet it, and then started to clean the blood from the side of his head. His eyes locked on his hands, clenched in his lap. "So," she said after a few moments, "who are you really?"
His eyes flicked up to hers, clearly once again startled. At least she kept him on his toes.
"I've seen you shy and afraid, and how you are now, and those are both different from the Elf I first met. Which one is you?" When he didn't immediately respond, she added, "Remember you are free to speak, any time."
He looked away, a frown crossing his beautiful face. "Do you remember the Dragos saying I was…unstable?"
Her eyebrows rose. "You heard that?"
With a grimace, he nodded, still not looking at her. "He wasn't far from the truth, Arowyn. Being what I am…" The Elf took a deep breath and started over. "I didn't want to kill. I wasn't given a choice. I did as I was told, or I would die. That was made quite clear to me."
Again, too many questions flooded her mind. "Someone forced you to be an assassin?" She couldn't even imagine what it would be like to be forced to kill.
"If I wouldn't take my place in court, then I would be made use of," he said flatly.
The fact he'd become an assassin instead of going to court made her wonder just how bad court was. Some of Prince's comments suggested it was a dangerous place. Again, her mind filled with questions and she remained silent a moment as she sorted through them. She dismissed her questions about court. However, clearly someone in power had done this. Who? Why? "Then why were you punished? What the court did, it seems so…harsh."
