Promise

by Sarah Armstrong

  He exhaled slowly and she felt him measuring his words.

  ‘Yeah. I saw him. And you’re right, he’s . . . a mad fuck. But Anna. Anna. You cannot just abduct someone else’s child. So is she in the car with you now?’

  ‘Yes.’ She wanted him to say that she’d done the right thing.

  He sighed. ‘Oh, shit. Abducting a child is a serious offence. Darling, pull over. Just pull over for a few minutes so we can talk about it. There will be another way for us to sort this out.’

  ‘I know it’s big. I know it’s serious, but I’m not pulling over. We’ve already called all the right people and they’re not doing anything.’

  ‘Well, maybe they haven’t had a chance to do anything yet.’

  ‘You’re the one who said that some kids weren’t visited after seventeen phone calls.’

  ‘Come here. Bring her to my place. We’ll handle it together.’

  The idea of having Dave at her side was so appealing.

  He said, ‘We’ll go down to Bondi cop station and we’ll do what we can to get her into care. That’s what you want, isn’t it? To get her away from the father.’

  ‘Stepfather.’

  She stopped behind a line of traffic and peered ahead to read the sign. Foreshore Rd. She pulled into the right lane.

  ‘Where are you?’ he asked.

  ‘Just heading out of the city.’

  ‘So how long are you planning to abscond with her for?’ he said. ‘What’s your plan?’

  ‘Just long enough to get attention to her case. I just want to keep her safe from him.’

  ‘And if the girl is the actual evidence of the abuse . . .’ he spoke slowly, ‘then you are removing the evidence. What you’re doing’s brave and honourable but it’s also going to fuck up your life. Trust me, you do not want to end up in jail. Bring her here and we’ll take care of it together.’

  Jail. That really was the consequence of what she was doing, wasn’t it? She felt sick.

  ‘Anna? Are you there?’

  ‘So if I bring her to your place, can you guarantee that we’ll be able to get her into care tonight? Can you guarantee she won’t go back to those two next door?’

  The traffic started moving and she turned right.

  ‘No . . .’ He paused. ‘No, of course I can’t. But I guarantee you’ll end up charged with a serious crime unless you stop right now.’

  ‘But I’d still get charged, wouldn’t I? Even if I handed her to the cops now?’

  He was silent. ‘Maybe you would. But . . . I doubt you’d end up in jail. Why don’t you just take her home and say you took her out for an ice-cream or something?’

  She sighed and shook her head. ‘But can’t you see? I’d be giving her back to that man. Charlie’s terrified of him. She pissed her pants when she was hiding from him in my garden. What you can do is tell the cops why I’ve taken her.’

  ‘Yeah, well, I’ll have every opportunity to do that, don’t worry. But, you know, their primary focus will be the fact that she’s been abducted.’ He spoke urgently. ‘Anna, for god’s sake, don’t do this!’

  ‘Someone has to take care of this girl.’ She wanted to hang up now. The conversation was going in circles.

  ‘You realise I have to call the police and tell them what you’ve told me?’

  ‘Don’t do it straightaway, Dave. Wait a bit.’

  He sounded pained. ‘I have to call straightaway. Otherwise I’m aiding you – not a good look for a lawyer.’

  ‘Right.’ Shit. She gripped the steering wheel. She shouldn’t have answered the phone.

  ‘They’ll look at your phone records and see when you called me. I have to call when we hang up.’

  She exhaled shakily. ‘Okay.’

  ‘Sure you don’t want to bring her here?’

  ‘I’m sure.’

  He sighed. ‘Oh, Anna. Please think about what you are doing.’

  ‘Bye, Dave.’

  ‘Take care.’

  She threw the phone onto the passenger seat. Every cop car in Sydney would be looking for her in about five minutes, and she had no idea where she was heading. She couldn’t go to her dad’s. Could she and Charlie just camp in the bush? She imagined sleeping in the car, with no bedding to speak of, no clothes for Charlie, no food. She had friends near Grafton and Bathurst, but the police would surely check those places after looking at her phone and email records. Her laptop was open on the kitchen table, waiting for them.

  The road merged onto the motorway and she pulled into the left lane and dialled her dad’s number. The call flicked through to his answering machine. He still had the ancient machine that her mum bought when they were new and fancy. His voice was thin and wobbly on the old cassette. ‘Hello. Neville Pierce is not home. Please leave a message after the beep.’

  ‘Dad. It’s me. Things got worse for the girl next door. And I’ve taken things into my own hands and I have her with me and I’m dropping off the radar for a while. So I won’t be in touch. I’ll be right. Please don’t worry.’

  Tears spilled from her eyes. She wished she could hear her dad’s reassuring voice.

  ‘Bye, Daddo. Take care.’

  She imagined him arriving home and standing in his neat kitchen, listening to her message. She knew he’d be dismayed that she’d broken the law, and could picture him thumping the bench. But she felt pretty sure he wouldn’t report her phone call, not that he’d be able to tell the cops anything that Dave hadn’t already told them.

  She wound down her window and tossed her phone out and heard it smash as it hit the road. She’d forgotten to ask after Red, her dad’s dog, and now it was too late.

  A big road sign suggested Liverpool and Canberra as destinations. Her instinct was to head north-west through the city, then over the Blue Mountains using the Bells Line of Road. She wouldn’t go to her dad’s but maybe she’d think of someone else around Orange. There had to be someone. An empty house was what she needed.

  Then she thought of Pat, her boyfriend when she was nineteen. As far as she knew, he still lived on a community in the hills inland from Byron Bay. She’d seen him three years ago when she went to a conference in Byron, and on a whim, hired a car and drove into the hills to see if he was still there. He’d been happy to see her and was the same easy-going guy. And he didn’t appear on any of her phone records nor in her inbox. She doubted he even had an email account.

  The easiest way to his place was straight up the Pacific Highway. But CCTV was all over the place now. The cops used it all the time to track people. She’d have to take the back roads. At the next set of lights, she opened her glovebox and tipped her bag of maps onto the passenger seat. She shook open the right map, but before she could look at it, the lights turned green.

  •

  Near Penrith, on the western edge of the city, Anna pulled into a small petrol station. As she filled up the car, she looked around for CCTV cameras. Sure enough, there were three white boxes high on the roof over the pumps. She bought two plastic jerry cans and filled them with petrol, and withdrew the $1500 limit from the ATM. There was even a CCTV camera behind the woman in the shop. When they tracked Anna here – which they would once they checked her bank records – they’d come and interview this soft-faced woman. What would she say? That Anna was a bit nervy and kept looking out to the car? That she bought two cups of coffee, and food, including a loaf of bread and cheese?

  Charlie stirred as Anna placed the bag of food on the passenger seat. Anna sat for a moment watching the girl, her heart skittering around. Bloody hell. She knew nothing about taking care of children, let alone a vulnerable five-year-old. Charlie would look to Anna for everything now. But the girl was safe. That was a good start, wasn’t it?

  •

  Dusk was falling by the time they crossed the Hawkesbury River and turned north to Putty Road. The road wound into what she knew was a great expanse of bush: steep valleys carpeted with eucalypts, and rushing, rocky creeks. She found herself driving too fast,
the tree trunks whipping by in the hazy light, and made herself slow down. She didn’t want to run into a roo or wallaby; Charlie was barely belted in.

  It was two-and-a-half hours since she’d driven off with the girl. Since she’d abducted her. Anna’s heart was still beating a panicky, jerky rhythm. What would happen when the girl woke? What if she freaked out and demanded Anna take her home? It was too late to turn back now. Anna felt like she’d stepped off a cliff in a moment of madness, and now she was mid-air, her feet scrabbling for a foothold, nothing beneath her. The only way to manage her panic was to concentrate on the business of driving: the steering wheel under her hands, the car sweeping around the corners. I’m just driving. Just driving like I have thousands of times before.

  As night fell, the traffic dropped off until they passed a car every fifteen or twenty minutes, strangers on their own missions. We’re all just driving somewhere on a Saturday evening.

  She had to pee and, on the outskirts of a village, pulled over on the side of the road. Charlie stirred as Anna climbed back into the car.

  ‘What are you doing?’ said the girl, her voice thick. She sat up and shielded her eyes from the interior light.

  ‘Do you need to wee?’ Anna helped the girl onto the dark verge where Charlie squatted, swaying. Back in the car, the girl was asleep within seconds, and Anna drove on.

  Chapter Nine

  Dawn came slowly, a gradual lighting up of the world. Trees and fences and hills emerged from the darkness. They were on a dirt road somewhere north of Armidale, driving past endless scrubby paddocks.

  She pulled onto the wide grassy shoulder, turned off the engine and sat for a moment in the quiet. Charlie had rolled to face the back of the car, and all Anna could see was her knotty hair. Perhaps the girl had woken, looked up at the stranger driving her through the night, and turned her back on the nightmare.

  Anna stepped out into the fresh air, her muscles still buzzing with the vibration of the road. Dust coated the weeds growing along the fence and from somewhere in the paddock, a magpie warbled, that familiar cheery song.

  She squatted beside the car, her legs stiff. At about 2am she’d slept for a couple of hours on a side road but she was so tired she felt like she was in a dream, and it seemed strange that something as elemental as urinating still needed to happen.

  When she stood, she looked through the window at the girl, small and curled in the back seat, her toy rabbit clutched to her chest. Shit. Shit. Shit. She’d really taken someone else’s child. She leant a hand on the car and made herself take a couple of deep breaths.

  Just keep driving. Just concentrate on getting to Pat’s place.

  In the driver’s seat, Anna made herself drink some water, and had another look at the map. Her only real option was to head east down the Gibraltar Range. But it was a highway and she was afraid of patrol cars. She knew from her dad’s days in the force that patrol cars carried cameras that read passing number plates. Her plate would definitely be in their system by now.

  Charlie made a sighing noise and sat up, scratching her head.

  ‘Where’s this?’ she asked, looking around. The shorts had slipped down her hips.

  ‘Hi there. Do you want a drink?’ Anna unscrewed the lid of the water bottle and handed it back.

  Charlie took a long drink.

  ‘How about something to eat? Are you hungry?’

  Charlie nodded.

  Anna had been planning what to say when Charlie asked why Anna had taken her. But the girl just took the energy bar from Anna and examined it.

  ‘Let me fix your belt for you.’ Anna reached back. ‘Lift your bottom up.’

  Charlie obediently raised her buttocks and Anna pulled the shorts up and tied the ribbon in a double bow.

  Charlie said, ‘Can I sit in the front next to you?’

  ‘I think it’s safer for you in the back. I’m not allowed to let you sit in the front.’ I’m not allowed to steal other people’s children.

  ‘I can’t open this,’ said Charlie and thrust the bar back at Anna.

  ‘Oh, sorry.’ Anna tore the wrapper open with her teeth. ‘How’s your arm feeling?’

  Charlie looked down at it. ‘A bit sore.’ Her face crumpled. ‘It hurts.’

  ‘You know what? I can give you something for that. A tablet. And I’m going to put a bandage on it.’ She retrieved the first-aid kit from the boot and read the dosage instructions on the packet of Panadol. She snapped a tablet in half. ‘Here. Drink this down.’

  Charlie swallowed the half-tablet. She made a face. ‘It tastes yucky.’

  ‘I know. But it will stop it hurting.’ She knelt on the back seat and wound an elastic bandage around the girl’s forearm. ‘Does that feel a bit better?’ she asked.

  Charlie ran her hand over the bandage and nodded. ‘Where’s Mummy?’

  ‘At home.’ Anna took a breath. ‘You know, I brought you with me because I’m afraid that Mummy doesn’t keep you safe from Harlan.’

  Charlie was silent.

  ‘He hurts you, doesn’t he?’ That was a leading question, she knew. But it was true. Charlie and Anna shared this knowledge. It was the glue between them.

  ‘Mmm.’

  ‘We’d better keep driving.’ Anna climbed into the front and pulled back onto the road, her eyes sore and watery.

  After a couple of minutes, Charlie spoke through a mouthful of energy bar.

  ‘Where are we going?’ The girl’s voice was surprisingly strong, which gave Anna a small sense of reassurance.

  ‘We’re going somewhere safe. To my friend’s house.’ Anna slowed as they entered a village. A tradie’s ute waited on a side street and pulled out behind them, and a woman walked her labrador along the footpath. Most people were still asleep, their children burrowed in cosy, safe beds. But how many of those children were not actually safe? How many were like Charlie?

  ‘Will I get in trouble again?’ asked Charlie. ‘For coming with you?’

  Anna turned back. ‘No. No. He’s far away. Harlan can’t hurt you.’

  God, she hoped that was true, that Charlie wouldn’t be back under his roof tomorrow, and at his mercy.

  ‘I need to wee!’

  Anna pulled over beside what looked like an old scout hall, a boarded-up white timber building. ‘Here. We can wee on the grass here. No one will see. It’s so early.’ The ute rattled past.

  When Anna helped the girl out of the car, she realised Charlie’s shorts were sodden. ‘Oh.’

  Charlie shrank away from Anna, her lips drawn back in a terrible smile.

  ‘That’s okay.’ Anna spoke softly. ‘We’ll just dry you off.’

  The girl’s fear made Anna’s gut turn. Charlie trembled as Anna used a towel from the boot to wipe the girl’s bottom and legs. An approaching car slowed and Anna moved to shield the girl.

  ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry,’ said Charlie. Some energy bar was still in her mouth and bits spilled out onto the ground. Her hand was sticky where it gripped Anna’s shoulder.

  ‘It’s really okay, Charlie. It’s completely okay. It’s just wee. It’s like water. Let’s get a dry towel to wrap around you, eh?’

  Anna rummaged in the boot and found another beach towel. ‘I should have asked you if you needed to wee when you woke up.’

  She had no idea about children. No idea.

  Charlie held tightly onto Anna’s shoulder as she wrapped the towel around the girl’s waist. Anna wondered how many times Charlie had held her mother’s shoulder like this.

  Charlie moved her face close to Anna’s. ‘Where’s my mummy?’

  Anna wanted to look away, but she held Charlie’s gaze. The girl’s eyes were watery.

  ‘Your mummy’s at home.’

  Charlie closed her eyes in what looked like anguish. It looked like she didn’t think that what Anna had done was the lesser of two evils. Anna breathed out shakily and stood up.

  She laid a checked picnic blanket over the wet patch on the back seat and settled Charli
e with an apple and bottle of water, then poured the second jerry can of petrol into the tank. God, she hoped they had enough petrol to get them to Mullumbimby. She’d have to risk the highway down to Grafton.

  She stashed the empty jerry can and wet shorts in the boot, and looked in the back window. The girl sat clutching Bunny, gripping the plastic water bottle so tightly it was beginning to crumple.

  Chapter Ten

  The grass in the paddocks on either side of the road was a luxuriant deep green. Even the weeds on the roadside were ridiculously lush. They were definitely in the subtropics now and, Anna hoped, about two hours from Pat’s place. She’d almost nodded off twice in the last half-hour. She turned the air-conditioning on and hoped it wouldn’t use too much petrol. There was only half a tank left.

  They’d made it down the Gibraltar Range without passing a cop car. Charlie had sat up in the back seat for a couple of hours but she was asleep again. Anna wondered if she should worry that the girl was sleeping so much. Is this what children did? Or perhaps now that she was safe, she could let herself sleep. But why would she feel safe now? Anna knew Charlie was safe but how would Charlie know that? Anna could be just as dangerous as Harlan for all Charlie knew. Questions tumbled around in her head as she blinked and tried to stay awake.

  This was mad. She had to sleep, even for fifteen minutes. Over the next rise she turned onto a narrow side road, pulled over beside a paddock of some verdant crop, and tipped her seat back. Charlie slept on, mouth hanging open, face flushed. Anna closed her eyes.

  •

  It seemed like just a moment later that she woke to a woman’s face peering in the passenger window. Anna sat up, heart thumping. The woman was dark haired, fortyish and smiling.

  Anna turned on the ignition to wind down the window and Charlie leant over from the back seat.

  ‘Your daughter’s jumping all around the car while you sleep.’ The woman smiled at Anna. ‘I was worried she’d hurt herself.’ She wore a singlet and running shorts and her face shimmered with perspiration.