The Universe Builders: Bernie and the Putty

by Steve LeBel

  The Museum

  Suzie was waiting outside The Museum when Bernie arrived with Lenny and Alcandor. “I’m sorry we’re late. Alcandor had to stop and see everything along the way. I think he’s enjoying himself.”

  “That is quite an understatement.” Alcandor grinned at Suzie. “How are you, my dear?”

  “Fine, thanks.” Suzie returned Alcandor’s grin with a hug.

  “Get ready to be amazed,” Bernie said in anticipation of Alcandor’s response to The Museum.

  “I don’t know how I can be more amazed than I am already.”

  “Everything in here has won an award. Each new winner has been judged better than the last winner in that category,” said Lenny. “You can’t get into The Museum without being extraordinary.”

  “I would think there would be fewer new winners each year,” Alcandor said.

  “You would think so, wouldn’t you?” said Suzie. “But people keep rising to the challenge. Each year they average fifty winners from over a thousand submissions.”

  Alcandor was indefatigable. He asked questions about everything. Bernie and Lenny, both trained in Building Sciences, and Suzie, who minored in History of Building, did their best to answer his questions.

  Long before Alcandor ran out of questions, The Museum staff told them it was closing time. The afternoon had gone so quickly no one had noticed.

  “But there’s so much more to see,” Alcandor protested.

  Bernie laughed. “They have less than one percent of the universes on display. We could spend years here.”

  As they were ushered out of the museum, Alcandor asked a final question. “To save your job and to save my world, your universe has to be judged worthy of a place in that museum?”

  The question remained unanswered, and they walked home in silence.

  Billy Destroys the World

  Hovering high above the planet, Billy shook his head. “This time, I’m going to give Shemal enough proof of Bernie’s incompetence that he won’t be able to ignore it anymore. Look at this stupid planet! It’s a builder’s nightmare. Everything about it is messed up. When I’m done tonight, Uncle, you won’t have any choice but to fire Bernie.”

  Bernie’s planet rotated slowly as it continued its journey around the sun. The sausage-shaped continent, lush with its green plants and central mountain range, could be easily seen. The two lab zones on the equator waited for the next spark of life. The deep blue ocean sent gentle waves to lap the shores. North of the continent was a deep ocean trench that circled the world. This world showed signs of great suffering.

  Billy barely glanced at the world. It wasn’t the planet’s surface that concerned him. Instead, he moved deep into the inner core of the planet. It was there, in the very center, that he did his work.

  He visualized a network of fibers extending from the inner core to the upper mantle just below the planet’s hard surface. Billy concentrated as he made the twisting and turning fibers a reality. He then began another network with more fibers that twisted and turned near and around the fibers of the first network. But the elements with which he constructed his fibers were never meant to coexist. If they touched, the result would be catastrophic. Just as he wanted it to be. And then he made more. He riddled the interior of the planet with his network of deadly threads. There could be only one outcome.

  Finally, Billy knew he had created sufficient destructive force to accomplish his plan. He paused to admire his handiwork. The planet’s own forces would take it on a suicidal path to an unalterable outcome. The planet’s molten core would bring the elements of Billy’s deadly network together, mingling the elements that must never touch, and igniting his galactic fuse. Moments later, it began.

  This time, he would not leave before it was finished. He would not return the next day to find Bernie had somehow found a way to minimize or undo the damage. No. This time, he would see it through. This time he would watch everything to the bitter end. And he did.

  Billy rose above the planet in time to see a section of its outer shell outlined by the light from an explosion deep below. The highlighted section included a third of the sausage continent. The detonation unleashed a force so colossal the land was thrust upward, breaking it into multiple pieces with such force that some fragments would never return to the planet. The rest slowed as gravity overcame inertia and the shattered crust fell back into the open pit of red molten lava below.

  The lava pit churned as it consumed everything that had fallen back. Lava that was not red hot was white hot. The pieces of land did not float long. One by one, they were dissolved by the red-white hot fluid. Along the edge, waters from the ocean cascaded into the pit, turning momentarily into steam before disappearing altogether. Nothing survived. Everything that had ever lived on that land died instantly.

  Could a planet survive such a blow? Could it heal from such an open wound? Billy knew the answer. He had planned too well.

  The oceans went first. They were drained into that unquenchable cauldron as the world’s water was turned into scalding steam. The planet was enveloped by thick clouds. The polar ice from the southern pole vaporized as it hastened to follow the path of the oceans.

  Billy had no trouble seeing the destruction he caused, for nothing can be hidden from a god with the will to see. He watched the wall of hot steam as it raced across the world, boiling the life that had been lucky enough to escape the first blow.

  Then came the fires, consuming anything that could burn.

  The crust of the world was cracked like an eggshell from the first horrific explosion. Now Billy watched as the ultra-hot magma seeped through the cracks, widening them as it ate away at the remaining surface of the world. The floating pieces melted one by one in the searing heat.

  Finally, nothing was left except the molten mass of a once-living world.

  Billy looked at what he had done. And he was pleased.

  Damn You!

  Bernie was still on a high from the terrific weekend he’d spent with Alcandor. Their time together was everything he had hoped. Even Lenny had been impressed. Actually, everyone had been impressed—even his mom. None of this was a big surprise to Bernie, who had been impressed with Alcandor ever since they’d met. The only disappointment was when the weekend ended, and he had to return Alcandor to his world.

  Bernie was full of energy when he arrived at work. The trip to The Museum had given him ideas for his planet. As Bernie settled in, he glanced at Billy’s cubicle. Billy seemed busy with his own tasks. Bernie had been so preoccupied with Alcandor’s visit, he hadn’t thought about Billy all weekend.

  Bernie grasped the viewing window from its holder on his desk and began to lower it to its place beside his desk. He was proud of his little subterfuge. For over a week now, he’d been using his duplicate universe as a decoy. Why not? Zardok didn’t want it. Maybe it would be of some benefit after all. As he lowered the viewing window, he saw something he didn’t expect.

  What he expected was a planet with green continents and blue oceans. What he saw was a mass of red and white-hot magma roiling and bubbling where his planet had once been. The planet had been destroyed. There was nothing left. Nothing. Bernie blinked in disbelief.

  Maybe on another day, he would have handled it differently. But after all these months of torment, the special place where he put his anger was full. He could not shove any more in. He jumped to his feet and dashed into Billy’s cubicle. He grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around.

  “How dare you!” Bernie shouted, shattering the silence of the office. Immediately there was a sound of thunder and a flash of lightning, courtesy of an unseen cloud that was just as upset as Bernie.

  Billy looked at him with feigned shock and surprise. “Why, Bernie, whatever are you talking about?” Billy made no attempt to conceal his evil smile.

  Bernie, more than anything, wanted to hit Billy—like he had in school. He wanted Billy to suffer the way he was suffering. Billy’s smug smile represented everything Bernie
was about to lose. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t risk another fight.

  The only reason Bernie hadn’t lost everything was because Billy had attacked the wrong universe. Everything Bernie cared about was being destroyed by this evil, twisted boy who sat in front of him. The rage Bernie felt was rivaled only by what was happening on the surface of his destroyed world. He was dimly aware of thunder as it rumbled even more loudly, followed by the arc of electricity that came from nowhere to strike Billy’s desk.

  “Damn you!” he said with a hatred that would have burned holes through anyone else. With Billy, it made him smile all the more.

  “Did something happen to your little world, Bernie?” Billy asked with sickening sweetness.

  “What’s going on here?” thundered the deep voice of Shemal.

  “Gosh, I am not sure, Uncle. I think Bernie was expressing his disappointment over some ineptitude or other. I really have no idea,” Billy said with such innocence that Bernie wanted to hit him all over again.

  “Well?” Shemal stared at Bernie.

  “Nothing, sir,” Bernie said between tight lips.

  “If it’s nothing, then I suggest you get back to work. The Universe Committee will be here in just a few days, you know.”

  Back at his desk, Bernie reached down and picked up the window with his real universe. As he placed it in the cradle on his desk, he was relieved to see his world still intact. As he breathed a sigh of relief, he felt eyes on his back and turned in time to see Billy staring at his universe.

  “I don’t know how you did that, Ber-Nerd, but you won’t fool me again,” came an angry whisper only Bernie could hear.

  The Booby Trap

  “But it’s getting worse all the time. He tried to destroy everything. I don’t know how I can stop him. Thousands of people have already died because of Billy. I can’t let this continue. I have to think of something.”

  “Then it’s time to talk about my ideas,” Lenny proclaimed.

  “I don’t like where this is heading,” Suzie said.

  Lenny scowled. “Billy is playing mean and dirty. It’s time he was stopped.”

  Bernie heard the animosity in Lenny’s voice. Perhaps it was justified. Billy wasn’t just hurting him. Lenny and Suzie had met Alcandor, and they had a better understanding now of the stakes. Plus, Lenny had an extra reason to hate Billy since he tried to break up his relationship with Candi.

  “What do you have in mind?” asked Bernie. A glance in Suzie’s direction caused him to add, “Remember, we just want to stop him, not hurt him.”

  “Well, that cuts down on a lot of options, you know.” Lenny didn’t hide his disappointment.

  Lenny closed his eyes as he did a mental inventory of his OWT collection. “I have just the thing. It’s a very small explosive device. You attach it to anything you don’t want opened. When they open it, the blast will knock them across the room. It has a guaranteed thirty-foot blowback radius. It’ll be perfect!”

  Suzie, who didn’t like the idea as soon as she heard the word ‘explosive’, said, “Lenny, that could hurt someone. You can’t do that.”

  Lenny, looking for support, did not find any in Bernie’s expression either. After more thought, he said, “I have another one that could work. It detects any movement within a defined radius, and when it finds it, it makes a siren noise, alerting everyone in the area.”

  “That sounds perfect,” Bernie said.

  * * *

  It turned out there was something about Lenny’s booby trap he’d forgotten to mention. It might be more accurate to say he ‘neglected to mention’ in the presence of Suzie. The booby trap did indeed generate a shrill piercing sound, intended to draw everyone in the area to investigate. It also generated an intense flash, rendering anyone in the blast zone temporarily blind. This was to prevent them from running away before the authorities arrived. This was why the tag next to it described it as a ‘Flash Bomb’.

  It might have worked well on Billy. As it turned out, it worked very well on cleaning crews.

  And Shemal was not happy. Not happy at all.

  “Bernie, why did you do this?” Shemal fumed.

  Bernie, whose immediate response was to tell the truth, knew he could not reveal the whole truth. “I’m so sorry, sir. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

  “Why, Bernie? Why?” Shemal repeated with an even deeper timbre in his voice.

  “I… I… Someone has been messing with my universe, sir. And I wanted them to stop. I thought if they were surprised by the noise, they would run away and think twice before they tried something like this again.”

  “What makes you think someone is messing with your universe?” Shemal glared.

  “Every few days I find something else wrong with it. I know it wasn’t me, and it takes me hours to fix the problems. Sometimes I don’t see the problem right away, and when I finally notice it, even more things have gone wrong.”

  Shemal had heard every excuse by now. And this one wasn’t even original. Some mysterious ‘other person’ did it. This excuse had become common lately; the last several people he’d fired had all tried it. Shemal bit back his first response, which would have been to call such an excuse pure poppycock.

  Instead, he said, “It’s a poor workman who blames their problems on other people, Bernie. You have to take responsibility for your mistakes, make an extra effort to fix them, and then do whatever it takes to prevent them from happening again. Is that clear?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “I forbid you to do anything like this again. Someone could’ve been hurt. As it was, you scared everyone. This can’t happen again. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Remember what I said, Bernie. Take responsibility for your mistakes, and work harder to make sure they don’t happen again.”

  As he walked back to his cubicle, dozens of eyes watched him. Each one expected Bernie to begin clearing out his desk. Only one person was disappointed when Bernie sat down, cleared his workspace, and began work for the day.

  That one, of course, was Billy.

  Go Home, Bernie

  As much as Bernie desperately wanted to win a Universe Award, he knew it wasn’t going to happen. All he wanted was to make sure Billy didn’t destroy his world. Every time he looked at the viewing window of his duplicate universe, he shuddered. The whole world had been reduced to a molten mass, devoid of any life. Billy had destroyed it all.

  Shemal had forbidden Bernie to use any kind of booby trap in his cubicle. That left him with only one thing he could do to keep Billy away. He had to guard it personally.

  Bernie had slept in his cubicle for the last four days. He never left it, except to use the bathroom. When he got hungry or thirsty, he dipped into Alcandor’s world for something to eat. When he couldn’t stay awake any longer, he draped himself across the viewing window, so no one could get into it without waking him. There were only two more days before the Universe Committee arrived. So far, the plan was working.

  “Bernie, we need to talk,” Shemal’s deep voice broke into his thoughts.

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Have you been sleeping in your cubicle at night?”

  “Ah… Yes, sir.”

  “Bernie, I won’t have it. I don’t mind people working over or coming in early, but this is not acceptable. Do not do it again. Do you understand?”

  “But, sir, I—”

  “Do you understand?” Shemal’s tone made it clear he did not want to repeat himself.

  “Yes, sir.”

  Billy’s Threat

  “I can’t believe the Universe Committee is wasting their time on Bernie’s universe. It’s an abomination. Anyone having anything to do with them coming tomorrow is going to look bad.” Billy growled with such intensity, even the people at his table were uncomfortable.

  Candi felt trapped, and she wasn’t alone. Jimmy was as afraid of Billy as she was. Had it been only a year since Billy had arrived? So far, nine people had lost the
ir jobs because Billy decided he didn’t like them. He didn’t do the firing himself, but he made it happen. Bernie would be the tenth.

  When Billy gets like this, thought Candi, it’s best to say nothing. You don’t want to give him a closer target for his anger. And so, Candi and Jimmy remained silent. Donald, oblivious to the danger, said, “When they see how bad it is, they’re going to be upset with everyone.”

  “That’s right, Donald. They are,” said Billy as he raged against the unfairness of the world. “I tried to save everyone from this embarrassment the other night, but it didn’t work out.”

  “What happened, Billy?” Donald asked.

  Billy looked at the people seated at the table. Candi knew Billy didn’t consider them friends. They provided an audience for him, but there was only one reason for that: they were all terrified of him. She had requested a transfer months ago, but with all the people trying to get out of Final Assembly, it wouldn’t happen soon. She needed to keep her head down while she waited.

  “Let’s just say I tried to remove all doubt about Bernie’s incompetence.”

  “That was good, Billy. Why didn’t it work?”

  “Bernie created a fake universe in his spare time. And the idiot made it exactly like his real universe. He re-created every screw up and every mistake. Basically, I wasted my lesson on a fake universe,” Billy admitted, clearly unhappy about it all.

  “So what are you going to do now?”

  “When someone doesn’t get it the first time, Donald, what do you have to do? You repeat the lesson, of course.”

  “But the Committee is coming tomorrow,” Donald said.

  “I know,” Billy said with grim determination.

  The Last Goodbye

  Alcandor was sitting at his desk, a vacant stare on his face, as Bernie appeared. A pile of untouched and unanswered correspondence was stacked on the corner of his desk.