For the Love of a Goblin Warrior (Shadowlands)

by Shona Husk

  Without a door, how could she leave?

  Something moved in the gray beyond the walls; she pressed her nose to the glass to try to see what was out there, moving in the dust and empty twilight. The shapes became figures, closing in on the castle. A glint of gold caught her eye. It was outside on the windowsill. She glanced back at the creatures. They were coming for the gold. Her fingers scrabbled around the window frame for a latch, but there wasn’t one. She couldn’t get the window open. She ran to the next one, but a gold coin rested there as well.

  Her heartbeat raced, as if she were sprinting. She stepped back from the window, her dress now faded as if it had been washed too many times. The tapestry to her left had lost the bright colors she had given it. The gray was breaching the walls. How long until the creatures reached the castle and claimed the gold?

  Why was no one coming to save her? Where was her knight in shining armor to fight off the monsters?

  A face appeared at the window.

  Golden orbs for eyes, mottled gray skin, a hooked nose, and long pointed ears. A goblin.

  Nadine screamed and the glass shattered.

  She jolted awake, her heart straining to break free of her body, and sat up. Her bedroom door swung open and she yelped again.

  “Geez, I thought you were being killed.” Gina stood in the doorway in one of her fiancé’s T-shirts that was doubling as a very short nightie.

  Nadine pressed her hand to her chest as if she could slow the pounding of her blood. It took another two breaths before she could ground herself back in reality and escape the very real clutches of her nightmare. Never had it been so real…or so terrifying. Her castle had always been her sanctuary. Her dream space was unraveling and she’d been helpless to stop the destruction.

  She swallowed down the sticky fear still lodged in her throat. “Just a nightmare.” The words didn’t come out as carefree as she’d intended.

  “They’re back?” Gina’s forehead creased in concern.

  Nadine nodded. Most of the time she was fine. Around the winter solstice she got twitchy, but it usually faded shortly after. This year, her nightmares continued to haunt her.

  She blamed her father’s release. When he was in jail, the dreams never had that much power and she’d always been able to escape to the castle and hide. But it was no longer safe; it was in the Shadowlands now. It felt like she’d lost another piece of herself and her mother.

  Gina sat on the edge of the bed and gave her a hug. She was one of the few people who knew her family’s murderous secret.

  “This got something to do with your father?”

  She was tempted to say no, but how would she explain the Shadowlands and goblins to Gina? They were her mother’s stories. Most people had never even heard of the fairy tale of Le roi des gobelins. It was an obscure story, lost in history. She had no idea how her mother had even found it or why it had been her favorite. It was easier to agree with Gina and blame her father.

  “I thought I was okay. I mean, I knew he’d get out one day.” She shrugged. One day had always been far away, then it had arrived and passed with little fanfare. Or so she’d believed. Obviously it had cut her deeper than she’d thought; only now she couldn’t find the wound to stop the blood. She inhaled deeply and tried to force calm. “He sent me a letter.”

  That terrified her. What did he expect from the daughter he’d abandoned twenty years ago? Why couldn’t he just walk away like she had? She’d never encouraged any contact. She didn’t know what to say to him…if anything. Would he answer if she asked why? Did she really want to know?

  “What did the letter say?”

  “Dunno.”

  “Sweetie, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. You should read them. He’s the only father you’ve got.”

  “He pleaded not guilty,” Nadine said through gritted teeth. “After he killed my mother.”

  “I know you don’t want to hear it, but maybe he didn’t do it. There wasn’t DNA evidence back then.”

  Nadine shook her head. He’d never asked for a retrial or a reexamination of evidence. He’d been content to wait out his time with his guilty conscience.

  “When my uncle went to jail—”

  “He did one year for unpaid traffic fines.” It was hardly in the same category as twenty for murder.

  Unbothered by Nadine’s interruption, Gina continued, “All he thought about was his pregnant girlfriend.”

  “Yeah, and she wasn’t his girlfriend when he got out.” She knew the story and had been to enough of Gina’s family functions to know that the girlfriend had done him a favor by leaving. The child wasn’t his.

  “That’s not the point. Who do you think your father thought of while he was in prison?” Gina placed her hand on the blanket covering Nadine’s legs.

  “Maybe my father should’ve thought some more before he killed my mother.” Nadine hugged her knees to her chest. She didn’t want to talk about her family anymore. It was easier not to think of them than to try and understand what had gone wrong.

  “Where’s your necklace?”

  Nadine touched her bare throat. “I lost it at work. The cross came loose again.”

  “Maybe it will turn up,” she said with more hope than Nadine felt. It had been a week. It was gone.

  “It doesn’t matter.” But it did. Without it, she’d lost her mother’s protection and the nightmares were closing in. When they caught her, she knew there’d be no escape. She forced a smile, as if the goblins of her nightmares had vanished in the daylight streaming through her window, and changed the topic. “So how was your trip down south?”

  “Lovely. It was good to get away and be alone.” Gina touched her engagement ring absently. Her boyfriend had proposed the last time he was home and Gina had spent an anxious six months waiting for him to come back.

  Hell would have to freeze over to keep Bryce from coming home. He was crazy about Gina. The only thing that had stopped them from marrying already was the danger he’d get killed while serving overseas. He didn’t want Gina to be an army widow.

  “So the wedding is still on?” Nadine teased.

  “Of course.” Gina said it with a smile—then it faltered. “Bryce and I have started looking at places. I know we thought we’d stay here for a bit until we got sorted, but we want our own house. By not going on a honeymoon, we’ve got enough for a deposit.”

  Ever since the ring had gone on Gina’s finger, Nadine had known this day was coming. She nodded, unable to speak.

  Gina gave Nadine’s hand a squeeze. “I’m sure you won’t have a problem getting someone else to live with.”

  She didn’t want someone else. She and Gina had done everything together for years. Shared the ups and downs of studying, dating, and working. And now Gina was moving on and getting married. It made Nadine realize what she didn’t have.

  “I’m sure I won’t.” The house was in a great location, and not too expensive but too much for her to have on her own unless she gave up on her savings account and her dreams of travel.

  “Getting a date for my wedding on the other hand…” Gina raised both eyebrows wanting the latest gossip.

  And here it came. No doubt Bryce had a newly single friend. “Do not set me up.”

  “I won’t.” Gina held her hands up. “That didn’t work out too well last time.”

  “No, it didn’t.” Nice enough guy, but he’d thought a fun date would be going to the drags and racing his V8 on amateur night and then expecting her to be excited when he won. So not happening again.

  “Besides, you’re seeing Daniel. Did you go on a second date?”

  Nadine looked at her friend. How could she say Daniel was lovely, handsome, smart, a doctor, and totally boring? When he kissed her cheek, all she felt was his lips. She’d got more of a jolt from Meryn holding her hand and she hardly knew the man. “There was no chemistry.”

  “You can’t tell that after one lousy date.”

  “Yes I can. There’s got to b
e…something.” Something that made her heart jump. Something that made her want to know more about the man. Something that made her want to risk jumping into a relationship.

  Something about Meryn made her want to know him better, even if it was just to untangle the mystery that surrounded him. She just hoped she’d like the answer when she worked him out.

  “You’re too fussy.”

  “Selective.” She wasn’t going out with someone who didn’t meet her criteria—even if she wasn’t sure what that criteria was.

  “Limited,” Gina countered.

  “Discerning.”

  Gina raised one eyebrow. “I’m sure you’ll find someone who enjoys long runs and foreign films and who doesn’t mind a nocturnal wife.”

  “I’m still looking.” She grinned as if she wasn’t bothered by her inability to find a partner. But Gina was right. It didn’t take long before guys worked out that she was damaged and too much hard work, and then they ran. So she’d stopped trying. Besides, it was better to be single than make her mother’s mistake of falling for the wrong man. “You’re going to be awake for the barbeque this afternoon?”

  She couldn’t say no, but she wouldn’t be able to drink, and she’d have to leave early to go to work. “Of course. Wouldn’t miss it.”

  ***

  Nadine picked up a glass of juice and smiled as everyone toasted Bryce’s return. The house she shared with Gina was full of people she half knew either through Gina or work. Her friends, the ones who thought they knew her but they’d never even scratched the surface. She wouldn’t let them.

  On the other side of the yard, away from the men clustered around the barbeque, arguing over the best way to cook a steak, she saw Daniel. Of course Gina had to invite him. She held her breath, not sure if she was hoping her heart would give a flutter of excitement or if he wouldn’t notice her. He nodded and began moving in her direction. Damn. Her heart sank.

  Maybe it was her heart that was broken, and this was as good as it got.

  No, she refused to believe that. She saw the glint in Gina’s eye when she looked at Bryce and the way he looked at her. She didn’t want to settle because she should or because he looked good on paper.

  She smiled as he reached her side, but he didn’t try and touch her.

  “Big party.” He sipped his beer and looked around. He didn’t fit in. He was too…she didn’t know. He just didn’t fit. It was nothing obvious, and nothing she could put her finger on.

  “Yep.” Did they really have anything to talk about besides work?

  He looked at her as if assessing the odds he was going to get shot down. Which was going to be more awkward: her going first or waiting for him to ask? Definitely the second.

  “About the other night,” she said. “It was nice, but I don’t usually see people I work with.” Not a lie, but not a rule she’d always kept either. Where else was she going to meet guys?

  He nodded and looked across the yard. “So a second date is off the table.”

  She sipped her juice without tasting it and hoped the food would be ready soon, so she’d have something else to concentrate on. Maybe she should’ve stayed in bed until it was time to go to work.

  “I think that would be best.” What was she doing? There were women tripping over themselves to get Daniel to notice them and she was letting him off the hook. She glanced at him, but he wasn’t making eye contact. Instead, he was studying something across the yard.

  “Can I ask why you agreed to a first date?”

  Ugh, a fair question. “You asked, and I always give people a chance.” One chance and only one. But Daniel hadn’t put a foot wrong. He’d been charming and funny, and she was turning him away because…?

  “Ah, so I failed a test.” This time he looked at her, his dark eyes searching for something.

  She couldn’t lie. “I didn’t feel a spark.” And once spoken aloud it sounded really dumb. This was real life not a fairy tale.

  “You don’t think that can grow?”

  She looked at Daniel and then at Gina and Bryce. She recalled the vague memories she had of her parents together and their smiles for the camera. The skin on her hand tingled as if remembering the touch of Meryn’s hand on hers. That had been a spark, one that would burn her if she played with it, but it had still been something—and enough to give her hope that she wasn’t chasing a dream. “No. It’s either there or it’s not.”

  Chapter 7

  As dusk fell, Meryn made his way back to his campsite. Most people who came to walk the park’s paths or eat at the café had left. He’d been tempted by the food for sale, but he didn’t have the right money to pay. After Solomon’s reaction to the coin, he’d watched more closely. The people here had colored pieces of paper, not gold and silver. Another reason to find a way to earn some coin—he needed the local currency.

  His shelter was sturdy and reasonably weatherproof. While the fire he built to cook his meal on didn’t burn all night, he was warm enough—warmer than he had been in the Shadowlands. He put the snake he’d caught that afternoon on to cook. He was getting very sick of reptiles, but there was no large wildlife to hunt. No pig, no deer, not even a hare or rabbit. Plus he needed more than meat; he needed a proper meal, but he recognized none of the plants and he wasn’t ready to risk poisoning to find something to go with snake.

  Ale would’ve been good.

  He’d even settle for watered Roman wine.

  He gave his bedding a shake and checked for spiders. They seemed to crawl into everything. Brown ones, black ones, hairy ones. He hated them, always had. Satisfied he wasn’t going to get bitten on the ass, he sat. To one side of his clearing lay a dozen arrows. He’d made them in the first few days, thinking he’d need them to hunt. The sapling he’d selected to be his bow lay waiting for attention. Once he would’ve spent every spare minute readying weapons and armor. While he would have never fought with a bow, he liked to hunt with one. There was a skill to sighting the target and making a clean shot, one he’d mastered better than most. But there was no honor in picking off men from a distance, the way one would shoot a pig.

  A twig snapped and echoed in the silence. Meryn lifted his gaze from the fire and drew the stolen knife. He listened, waiting for the noise that would betray the intruder again. Leaves crunched as they were trodden on. It was too late to throw dirt on the fire; the smell of smoke would linger. His heart thudded almost loud enough to block out the sound of the would-be attacker. As a goblin, a beating heart had never been a distraction.

  “Meryn,” whispered a voice in the darkness.

  Meryn eased up and put a tree at his back and the fire between himself and whoever was coming. At the bottom of his heart, he knew who it would be. Dai. He forced a breath out between his teeth. Better to face him this time than melt away into the woods. Besides, his campsite had been made. Running now would only make him seem a coward.

  “Meryn, I know you’re here,” Dai said in Decangli.

  Yeah, he was here. He just didn’t know what to say.

  His cousin stepped into the clearing. Laying on the palm of his hand was a rough arrow—the one Meryn had made in the Shadowlands and used to shoot Dai when he’d come to drag him back to the Fixed Realm. It had only been eight nights ago, but it seemed like a lifetime had passed.

  They assessed each other, as if waiting for the other one to move first. Last time they’d met, Meryn hadn’t recognized his long-haired cousin. There was a glint in Dai’s eye and a sureness in his step that came from fighting many battles and losing few. Meryn lowered the knife but kept it in his hand, held loosely, ready to react. He hadn’t survived as a goblin by being sloppy, but this time he’d give Dai a chance to speak before attacking.

  Dai put the arrowhead in his pocket and held out his open hands. “I’m unarmed.” A man who could cross between realms at will needed no weapons to be dangerous in a fight. “I came only to talk.”

  The language of his birth rolled easily through the still night air. Words
he hadn’t heard in too many years made his heart ache for the familiar. He shut it down. It was gone. All of it. He had to start again.

  “Then speak English. I need the practice.” Meryn couldn’t hide the edge of bitterness in his voice.

  Dai inclined his head. “Very well.” He switched languages.

  “What is it you want to say?”

  “The Fixed Realm has changed since we last walked in it as men. After bringing you back from the Shadowlands, I should have…” Dai paused and looked at Meryn. “I should have explained things to you better and made the adjustment easier.”

  Kept him prisoner until he’d regained his mind more like. “You locked me in the tower.” Meryn’s voice cut through the twilight, harsher than he’d remembered. He’d had so few people to talk to and the words were strange even though he understood them.

  “I was wounded.” Dai gave Meryn a pointed glare. “I thought you’d be safe there until I returned. Then we could’ve spoken.”

  “I don’t know you. Why would I trust anything you say?”

  A hurt flickered over Dai’s features. “I’m your cousin.”

  “My cousin was no mage.” The trees shivered in the breeze, the leaves rasping like the whispers of the goblins in the Shadowlands. Meryn suppressed the shiver that ran down his back.

  Once they’d been close, closer than Dai had ever been to his brother Roan. Now so much had happened in their lives, and not just the time lapse. Could he trust this man when there was nothing he recognized?

  What did Dai see when he looked at him? A broken man? A man too weak to resist the curse? He’d commanded an army for his king, and now he lived in a hovel on the fringes of society, playing at being human. In that moment, Meryn hated what he’d become. While his old life was gone, he wanted more than this. Maybe he shouldn’t have fled the tower; he could’ve waited for Dai to return. And then what? Be dependent? At least he was living on his terms.

  He looked at the man who bore a vague resemblance to the cousin he’d once known. “What were my children’s names?”