Through it all Kelly was her normal self; happy-go-lucky, raunchy, devilish, loud. It was a great party, but something was wrong with my best friend. And it hurt a little that she thought she couldn't share.
The non-alcoholic cocktails were just being handed out. We'd played the games, dressed up and sung songs, eaten every possible thing that could be filled with cream in every possible suggestive way. Now we were on to the colourful, umbrella topped, fruit accompanied Martini glasses with sugar coating their rim. She'd gone to so much trouble and made my bridal shower so sweet.
But when no one was looking, distracted by the antics of Wayne and Edward, my old neighbours, or Abi and Katie trying to work out which way the batteries went in to a hot pink vibrator with too many parts. Or listening to Eva sing - way better than the rest of us - or being scolded, good naturedly, for their language by my mum, I watched her. And I saw something I had thought never to see again.
"Where's Dominic today?" Marie asked, a little more reserved around the rest of us, but starting to fit in.
"He's playing golf with his partners, Finn and Drew, and his dad."
"Bet there's a whole lot of legalese going on there," Wayne threw in from across the room.
"Oh, I don't know," Liz, Dominic's mother, said. "Finn and Drew have a way of steering things back to much more pleasant topics."
"What sort of topics?" Kelly said, a little too forcefully.
"The sort of topics that would fit in here, I dare say," she replied with a chuckle, and then took a sip of her mocktail drink.
My eyes stayed on Kelly's, while the conversation continued.
"I thought Nick would have joined him, if that's Dom's bachelor party," Abi offered.
"That's not his bachelor party," Liz returned. "I believe that was spent out on the town."
"And Nick's on a case," Eva added, while Kelly picked at a thread on her top. "Something big going down that I'm not supposed to know about."
"But you do, don't you, chickie?" Edward pushed.
"Naturally. He talks in his sleep."
"Oooh," Wayne exclaimed excitedly. "What does the hot and sexy private investigator say when he's in dreamland? Bet it's downright dirty."
Eva smirked, but I couldn't stop watching Kelly. This sort of convo would be right up her alley. Hell, I was surprised she hadn't made a few suggestions of exactly what Nick would have said in his sleep.
"Now, that would be telling," Eva drawled. Then leaned forward conspiratorially and added, "But I will mention this." Everyone stilled, held their breaths and looked toward the cowgirl.
Everyone except Kelly, who was staring off into space.
My heart clenched. I'd hoped I was wrong. That I wasn't seeing what I thought I was seeing. But I was.
"Declan King has been spotted in the city, radar has him stirring up shit."
There were appropriate gasps and shocked murmurs, and Abi wrapped an arm around Katie giving her a hug, at the news Auckland's premier drug lord was back in town and no doubt about to cause trouble. It was scary stuff. Declan King had shot at Nick and Abi, he'd tried to kill Jason and Katie, making Dom's sister throw a knife in defence. He'd even made himself known when I was dealing with my loser ex, Brett. He was an evil man, a blight on society. And Nick dealing with anything to do with the vile creep was not good news.
But Kelly didn't even blink.
My stomach rolled, I rubbed my huge belly, and let out an unladylike burp.
"I think I have to pee," I announced quietly and stood - well, struggled - from my chair. Almost four more months of this? Argh!
"You need a hand, Genny-Benny?" Mum asked.
"Kelly's closest," I declared. "She can hold my hand."
I walked up to my best friend and had to poke her shoulder to get her attention. She looked up stunned for a second, blinked a few times, and then noticed that everyone was watching.
"What?" she said, her voice sounding so lost.
I fought the tears that threatened to deluge any moment and said, "Come with me for a sec?"
"Sure," she answered automatically and rose from her seat to follow me from the room.
I headed to the main bathroom downstairs. No way I could make it up to our ensuite and then back down again. But somewhere along the hallway that led to the loo I realised I'd lost Kelly. I stopped and turned around, finding her staring at the wall. Not the artwork that hung there, but the wall itself.
What the...?
I walked back silently and stood at her side. She didn't even acknowledge me at first.
Then, "Ever wondered where you're going in life?"
Oh, fuck.
"Not really," I said softly, scared she'd clam up. "I kinda just take it one day at time now."
She smiled. It didn't reach her eyes.
"Good philosophy." Huh? Kelly didn't use words like philosophy. She used words like 'dude' and 'fan-fucking-tastic' and 'abso-fucking-lutely', but not philosophy.
I waited. She stared at the wall. Then she reached out and placed her hand against it, as though trying to touch a memory, a moment out of time.
"What's going on, Kels?" I couldn't help it. I had to ask. It was killing me seeing Kelly like this.
Seeing her like she was when we first met.
She lifted her head, I watched as whatever had clouded her vision disappeared. With a smile she shrugged her shoulders and slipped her arm in mine.
"You need the bathroom, mum-to-be? Let's get on that."
Why was she brushing me off? Why was she pretending nothing was wrong, when it obviously was?
But I let her guide me to the bathroom and then lead me inside. I did my business, all the while fighting the dread and tears, while she chatted away about nothing. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing.
Then we returned to the party, Kelly purposely avoiding the query in my eyes, as though everything was perfect, just as it should be.
But it wasn't. Kelly Quayle's demons had come back to haunt her. Unlike last time, over fifteen years ago now, she wasn't prepared to accept my help.
We sat in the corner together, watching the others chat and laugh and celebrate life. I felt a darkness shadow us, creeping in from the sides. For so long I've been used to Kelly behaving one way. Knowing it was her armour, what she used to make it through the next day.
Knowing it was false.
Kelly comes across as a fun-loving, free-spirit. Bohemian, Katie had called it. She flits from man to man, never choosing to settle down. Always thinking of the next bit of pleasure, the next thrill. Her next hit.
She thinks I don't know her. But I do.
She's my best friend, she's like a sister to me. I would do anything to help her keep the darkness at bay.
But whatever Kelly was doing right now, she didn't want my help. Maybe because of the baby and the wedding and everything that was going on in my life. Maybe because she was trying to protect me.
But someone needed to help her.
Who?
I bit my bottom lip, blinked back tears as I glanced around the room searching for an answer. No one here knew Kelly like I did. No one could see the fractured woman beneath the shiny shell. If she didn't let me help, who would?
I wanted to bawl. I wanted to curl up in bed and cry my eyes out.
I wanted Dominic to make it all better.
Kelly got up and walked over to the others, helping Wayne out of a feather boa he'd gotten himself tangled up in with a diamanté tiara hanging precariously off the top of his head. Everyone was laughing and cackling and offering useless, but amusing advice.
I slipped my hand in my pocket and pulled my cellphone out, running my thumb over Dom's name.
He was having a day away from all the palaver. Soaking up the sun with some of his best mates. I glanced up at the mayhem, no one was watching me, so slipped out the side door, as best as my new baulk could let me.
The phone rang once before he answered.
"Everything all right, sweetheart?"
I sagged ag
ainst the bench in the kitchen and sucked in a sobbed breath of air.
"Genevieve," he said, even over the phone he used that tone I loved when saying my name. "What's the matter, darling. Is it all too much? Shall I come home and boot them out of the house?"
"No," I managed, shaking my head. "It's silly. I shouldn't have phoned at all."
"Nothing you do is silly to me," he murmured, as though he was hiding his soft words from whoever was nearby. "You can tell me."
What good would it do telling Dominic right now? He couldn't offer a solution from on the golf course.
"Genevieve," he pushed, this time his ice-lawyer voice crept into the edges. "Tell me."
"It's Kelly," I whispered.
"Kelly? What's wrong with Kelly?"
There was suddenly noise in the background, and Dom, obviously covering his phone with a hand because it became muffled, said something harsh to whoever was trying to distract him.
"Gen," he said. "Sorry, about that. Drew was getting in the way. I've clubbed him, go on."
I sucked in a fortifying breath and voiced my worst fear, "I think she's in trouble."
"Trouble?" A pause. Then quite clearly, "Would you knock it off, Drew! What the hell?"
I pulled the phone away and stared at the device. Shrugging, I returned it to my ear in time to hear Dominic again.
"What sort of trouble?"
"It's a long story," I started.
"I've got time," Dom urged. I wasn't sure he did, something was going on in the background.
"When I met Kelly she was going through some stuff. It was character making stuff. It shattered her confidence and made her sink in on herself."
"Go on," he pushed, when I paused.
"She dealt with it the only way she knew how."
"And how was that, sweetheart?" Dom asked, but I got the impression he already knew.
"By acting a certain way," I admitted, the words almost inaudible.
"An attention grabbing way," he provided.
"Yes."
"And now? What we saw this morning, has you worried?"
"It's gotten worse. She's not even there anymore."
A sob did slip out then.
"Gen, sweetheart. Kelly's probably just having a bad day. We're all entitled to one now and then, even the irrepressible Kelly Quayle. I'm sure it's nowhere near as bad as you think. Hold on," he added, "Drew wants to say something to me."
I heard the phone shift in his hands and then nothing more, just static. When he finally came back on the line, I needed to pee again, the tension had gotten way too heavy.
"Look, we'll talk about this when I get home," he said, an instant brush-off if ever I heard one.
Something made me say it, I'm not sure why. Because I hadn't connected Drew with our conversation at all. He was Dom's friend, not Kelly's.
"What did Drew say?" I demanded.
"Nothing you need to worry about."
"Dominic." I used every ounce of my school teacher father's tone in that one word.
Dom sighed. I could imagine him rubbing his chin right now.
"Drew said Kelly broke up with one of her five last night. That's probably why she's acting a little strange."
How the hell did Drew know?
"How...?" I managed before he interrupted.
"I don't know. He won't tell me. Look, Gen. Give Kelly some space, when she's ready she'll tell you about it. Maybe she's just re-evaluating her life. Changing things around. Hell, if we're lucky, she's decided to grow up."
I didn't like it. Not one little bit. Kelly was hurting and I wanted to help. But she'd made every effort to exclude me, and Dominic was right. If she wanted me to know, she'd tell me when she was ready. And not a moment before.
"OK," I said, defeat a weary passenger in my tone.
"Sweetheart," Dom cajoled. "We're almost done here. I'll be home within the hour and then I'll turf the interlopers out and run you a bath. Bubbles?" he asked, I could hear the grin in his voice.
"Bubbles," I replied, miraculously smiling.
"Good girl," he whispered, then, "I love you."
"I love you too," I whispered back and the line went dead.
When I returned to the party things were in full swing.
Including the old and familiar Kelly Quayle.
I sat down on the armchair and watched the antics fly, realising it was me sitting in the shadow now, all on my own. I smiled when I needed to. I spoke when spoken to. I laughed when something funny happened.
But it wasn't until Dominic arrived and tossed all the guests out, that the sun shone and the darkness truly receded.
But who would shine on Kelly?
Who would bring her out of the dark?
Right now, it looked like it wasn't going to be me.
And that crushed me. Broke my heart and made me want to cry.
Chapter 6
I'd Gladly Go Back To Numb Right Now
Kelly
Monday was the absolute worst day of my life. Which is saying something, 'cause my life's not been a bed of roses lately.
The party had been a success yesterday. Well, most of it had. There'd been moments when I almost blew it. Thankfully, Kelly Quayle is nothing if not an actress. And I acted my little butt off.
Dom returning early seemed a bit strange. But, Gen was tired and I could hardly blame the daddy-to-be for his protectiveness. I packed up after the guests left and took myself home. To my empty house. With my empty chest and empty body.
Which only served to reinforce the changes I needed to make.
I phoned Dan, to organise a get-together, only to find out he had an unscheduled night shift planned for tomorrow night. So we arranged to meet at Sweet Seduction at four, just before he'd head off to work. Not the best idea, but I was getting a little frantic, and the need to clean house was all that I could see.
If I could just simplify things, if I could just pare it all back to the basics, then maybe, just maybe, I'd be able to make sense of all the mess that was me.
I threw myself into work on Monday morning, sure that by that evening I'd be down to three in my little sex-team. Gen kept sweeping concerned looks my way, which made me jumpy and twice I dropped a tray of drinks Lucas had given me.
I was meant to be making things better, getting my life on track. But I just seemed to be making things worse.
That blackness inside was about to swallow me whole, I just knew it.
But at ten to four on Monday, it wasn't Dan who walked through the door, but Kane.
Ever seen a possum staring dumbly into the oncoming headlights of a car, knowing they're about to be squashed to smithereens? Well, that was me. Kane was the headlights, and in ten minutes, Dan would be the car.
"Hey, babe," Kane said, as he approached my stunned body at the chocolate counter. I just gaped.
Part of it was the no nookie at work rule I'd always had. And the guys had always been aware of that fact. Dan coming this afternoon would have already guessed something was up. But Kane? Why the fuck was he here?
"Wondered if you'd had your afternoon tea break yet? Wanna come check out my new wheels?"
I blinked slowly, looked at the sexy smirk that graced his plump lips. The glint of mischief that threaded through his deep blue eyes. He was dressed in his signature torn, faded denim jeans and muscle shirt, showing off a glorious set of biceps and about twenty hours worth of ink on his arms. His chin length, rock-star black hair curved at the ends, framing a young-boy face; quite apt for a man who had never grown up at all.
"You sold the Holden?" I asked, dumbly. I'd liked the Camaro, I'd particularly liked what we'd frequently done in there.
Kane's thing was the back seat of muscle cars. Who was I to deny him? It brought back some of the happier memories of my teenage years.
"Picked up a sweet ride at the market on the weekend, wanted my girl to christen it with me."
I glanced over my shoulder to see if anyone had heard Kane's words, but Gen was serving and L
ucas was banging the portafilter; no one paying attention to us.
My eyes swung back to Kane's. Any other time, at any other place in my fucked up life, I would have jumped on the suggestion, already envisaging how Kane would make me feel alive. Even knowing I had another hook-up in ten minutes time, I would have grabbed Kane's singlet, and hauled him out that door. But I just stood there, staring. Didn't even ask what type of car he'd bought. Just stared. Numb on the outside. Numb within.
This was my life? This is what I had become? One quick hook-up before another quick fuck? I'd thought I was being carefree, so vibrant and full of life. Alive.
But what I'd been could not be called alive.
I frowned down at the floor and ran a hand through the curls on my head. I was drowning here. I was neck deep in self-recriminations and self-doubt. Who am I?
What colour am I?
Black or red?
My eyes came up to see Kane's brows furrowed. He'd expected me to behave like Kelly Quayle always did. Sure, Kane. Let's go steam up the windows. Christen your sweet ride.
"Babe?" he said, as the worst possible thing that could happen happened.
Dan walked in the door.
Followed by the ADK team. Dominic waving out to Gen behind the counter. Finn Drake, one of his partners, smiling a mile wide and a grey eyed, suit wearing Drew.
Oh, fuck.
My hand covered my mouth and my eyes darted from one man to the next to the next.
I have hard and fast rules within my free and easy lifestyle. No nookie at work. I never meet up with one of my guys here. They never visit. Except Drew. He can hardly get out of afternoon coffee sessions with his law firm partners without giving away we were connected. Him being here was acceptable, unexpected sure. They usually arrived at two-thirty and were gone by half past three. Clearly they'd all been held up at court.
Oh, fuck.
"Kels?" Kane asked.
Right. This was happening now. This was me drowning, about to go under. This was where my choices had led me. Right here. Right now.
A quick glance around the room and, not surprisingly, several pairs of eyes were on me. Dan and Kane. To be expected. Genevieve and Drew. Not a shock. But also Dominic, a steady, calm look in his eyes.
Sweet Seduction Sabotage Page 6
