Special Passage (The Coursodon Dimension Book 4)

by M. L. Ryan

  Hair and body blissfully clean, I wrapped myself in the thick bathrobe I found hanging behind the bathroom door and padded into the kitchen to get something into my empty stomach. When the enticing smells of the hot coffee and freshly baked blueberry muffins hit me, I almost cried.

  Alex was right. While the muffins were delicious, I needed a lot more food to tamp down the hunger produced by a form bend. Cushy robe aside, this wasn’t a fancy hotel, and calling to the big house for room service seemed a trifle over the top. Feeling robust enough to get dressed, I made my way back to the bedroom to see what I might put on.

  There was no dresser, but a quick glance in the closet revealed the bathroom wasn’t the only thing that got bigger. What used to be a space large enough to hold only a few hanging garments was now a monster walk-in. Custom cabinets lined the walls, with drawers, racks, cubbies, and rods aplenty. Somebody—probably Rachel, I guessed—arranged Alex’s and my clothes and shoes, but my side remained laughably empty. This was someone’s dream closet, again, likely Rachel’s or maybe Sebastian’s, but certainly not mine. I’d never have enough stuff to use even a portion of my half of the space. Despite the extravagance, I did appreciate the clever organization of everything I owned.

  I grabbed a familiar pair of jeans, a University of Arizona sweatshirt, slipped my feet back into the Uggs, and went to find further sustenance at the big house. I heard voices in the living room—Karttyx, Alex, and Sebastian still engaged in discussion—and not wanting to disturb them, slipped into the kitchen undetected.

  Rachel stood at the stove, cracking eggs into a pan. She noticed movement in the doorway, realized who was there, and bounded over to hug the bejeebers out of me.

  “You’re awake,” she said, stating the obvious. “You want some?” she asked, gesturing to the sizzling skillet.

  My stomach grumbled loudly in response, but I threw in a, “Hell yeah,” in case she hadn’t heard.

  I grabbed a cup of coffee from Sebastian’s elaborate machine and took a seat at the island. Vinnie ambled into the room, rubbed against my leg, and promptly yorked up a large hairball on my shearling boot. He regarded his gift, meowed once, and meandered away, presumably to find someone else to barf on.

  “Nice seeing you, too, beast,” I called after him.

  I was still wiping off his welcome-home gift when Rachel plopped two perfectly cooked eggs and some toast on a plate and shoved it in front of me. When I practically inhaled everything, she slid what she planned to eat onto my dish and returned to the stove to fry up some more.

  “Hungry, eh?” she said when she finally sat next to me to eat.

  “Mhbrumh,” I mumbled, mouth full of the last remnants of my breakfast. I swallowed and thanked her profusely. “That was fantastic, Rach. I was starving.”

  “I’m not surprised; you were asleep for almost thirty-six hours. We were beginning to think you might never wake up.”

  “You’re kidding? I slept that long?” I knew I was tired, but I thought this was the morning after we got back, not an entire day later.

  “You must have needed it,” she said, patting my hand.

  “Thanks for responding to my mother’s emails.”

  “No problem. I also sent your parents some of those fancy pears you usually get them at Christmas. Karttyx thought the more normal everything seemed, the less likely for your mom to file a missing-person report. No one wanted that,” she said, rolling her eyes.

  I hadn’t really thought about how my disappearance might affect others, and I felt a pang of guilt for only considering it now that I was back and safe. On the other hand, until Rachel mentioned it, I hadn’t realized I’d missed Christmas either. “My mother can be aggravating, but I wouldn’t have wanted her to worry.”

  Rachel shook some pepper onto her fried eggs and dug in. “Aiden helped me keep your mom oblivious to what was going on,” she said between bites. “He said Sebastian would want to keep the police out of it.”

  I studied her face. She was beautiful as ever, but there was something more, an added glow, maybe. Ah, yes, she’d been Sebastianed.

  “Speaking of the master of the house,” I began, eyeing her over the rim of my mug, “how goes it?”

  She put down her fork and stared out the bay window over the sink. I followed her gaze and smiled when I saw the beginnings of my wild-animal menagerie gathering outside. The baby coyotes weren’t so little anymore, I observed.

  With a satisfied sigh, Rachel purred, “He is the most incredible lover. Seriously, he can go all night.”

  No big surprise, he’s gone without sex for almost a year waiting to bag you. Instead of sharing my thought, I settled for a simple, affirming nod. If Sebastian wanted to her to know about his Rachel-induced vow of abstinence, he could tell her himself.

  “And there’s this thing he does,” she continued, “where it’s like he has another hand? My God, just thinking about it makes me wet.”

  “Transcendental arousal,” I said knowingly, ignoring the too-much-information overload. “I agree, it is phenomenal.”

  “Can they all do it, then?” she wondered, frowning slightly. “Cortez never did.”

  I explained that all Courso had the ability, but usually only in Coursodon. “According to Sebastian, he’s the only one who can consistently accomplish TA in the human dimension.” Even my supremely magically endowed main squeeze had trouble keeping it up for more than a few seconds at a time here.

  “So, you’ve experienced TA when you and Alex went to Courso and you didn’t tell me about it? Some friend you are,” she jested.

  We laughed, and I knew whatever problems she had with me for keeping my relationship with magical beings from parallel dimensions a secret had faded.

  “It’s good to be back,” I declared, meaning both my return home as well as the restoration of our friendship.

  Rachel smiled. “Yes, it surely is. Look,” she said, her face now serious, “I’m so very sorry about how I acted. I was an idiot.”

  “Well, it’s not every day you find out your friend can change into a bird.”

  She dipped her chin, peeking up at me through her lashes. “I know, but I shouldn’t have taken it so personally. You did what you had to, and based on my complete meltdown, you were probably right not to tell me anything. I hope you can forgive me.”

  “There’s nothing to forgive. I’m just relieved you’re not mad at me anymore.”

  We hugged, and tears welled in my eyes. When we finally let go of one another, I saw Rachel’s eyes were dewy as well.

  “You know, there a whole lot of stuff I’ve been dying to ask you,” she sniffed.

  She spent the next hour grilling me about everything—from Sebastian’s possession, to having my own magic, to what happened in the third dimension. Some of the basics she’d already heard from either Aiden during our absence, or Sebastian or Alex during my siesta, but only I could supply the details.

  “Was anything good in Dekankara?” she asked. “It sounds awful.”

  As caught up as I’d been with trying to survive, I’d only described the negatives. There were plenty of those for sure, but now that I took the time to think about it, there were some positives.

  “Well, without cars and airplanes and the like, it was wonderfully quiet, and the absence of electric lights meant, at night, it looked like you could see every star in the universe. Also, there’s so much to do to keep yourself fed, clothed and sheltered, your don’t waste time with crap, just what’s absolutely necessary. And even though the place is run by a bunch of criminals, there are still some people there that give me hope it isn’t a lost cause.” Hyattia and Gera came to mind, and even Agnes. Probably lots more, too. We’d seen the worst of Dekankara, but we’d also glimpsed some of the best.

  “What did you miss most from home?”

  “Being human and feeling safe,” I answered immediately. “But before I was stuck as a beast, I missed a good cup of coffee in the morning and being clean. Oh, and toilet paper,�
�� I added. Hard to forget the corncobs.

  Between not speaking for months and the long conversation with Rachel, my throat felt dry and scratchy, and even with all the coffee, I could barely keep my eyes open. I was about to excuse myself and head back to the guesthouse, when Sebastian swept into the kitchen.

  He placed his hands gently around Rachel’s cheeks, gazed longingly into her eyes, and proceeded to kiss her with such unfettered passion that I blushed. When they finally came up for air, he brushed his lips against her ear and murmured something that made her face redden.

  “Oh, Bass,” she giggled, twirling a lock of his dark hair between her fingers.

  I rolled my eyes, a facial gesture only Sebastian noticed, as Rachel had her back to me. His expression of sublime content morphed into a sly grin, he winked, and then went back to nuzzling her neck.

  After a few more minutes of this, Rachel remembered I was in the kitchen, and the Bass-induced erotic fog finally lifted. “Uh, sweetheart,” she panted, still somewhat overwrought from his attentions, “Hailey and I had a long talk, and like you said, everything’s good between us.”

  Sebastian spun her around, so they stood back to front, both now facing me. He rested his chin on top of her head and proclaimed, “I knew the estrangement would not last forever. You both have too much insight and sound judgment.”

  Did he just say something nice about me? I waited for him to tack another, less complimentary description onto the statement, but when he didn’t, I thanked him for thinking I was sensible. “Speaking of expressions of gratitude, the guesthouse is magnificent. It blew me away.”

  He beamed. “I am thrilled you like it, my dear. Do you love the closet?”

  Ah, so the closet was his idea. “Who wouldn’t?” I fibbed. “How ever did you find Louise Blue granite with such illusion of movement and depth of color?”

  Sebastian’s eyes widened. “You startle me, my dear. I had no idea you knew the difference between Blue Louise and blue balls.”

  “Thought I wasn’t paying attention, huh?” I chirped. “And if anyone would know the difference, it would be you.”

  He laughed. “Touché, my dear, touché.”

  Rachel looked confused, and I left before she could inquire further. Back at the guesthouse, I changed the sheets, not wanting to put my newly scrubbed body into linens with six months’ worth of grime rubbed onto them.

  Immediately thereafter, I stripped and crawled back into the bed. I hadn’t been out long when I heard someone moving around the bedroom. It was Alex.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” he whispered. “I just came in to make sure you were okay.”

  “I’m fine.” I yawned. “Still sleepy, but overall, I’d give me a six and a half on a scale of ten.”

  “What would it take to get a seven?”

  “Chocolate. Or,” I said less definitively, “I might go as high as eight if you threw in you.”

  Smiling, he kicked off his shoes and sprawled on top of the quilt. “I don’t have any chocolate just now, but I can easily provide the other.”

  I rolled on my side and nestled my head in the hollow of his shoulder; he wrapped his free arm over my waist. We lay in companionable silence until I gathered the courage to speak.

  “Are we okay?” I asked. I couldn’t really see him, as my face was sort of tucked into his chest, but I felt him scrunch his head down, like he was trying to get a better look at me.

  “What does that mean?”

  I took a deep breath and poured my heart out before I lost my nerve completely. Once I finished, he remained quiet for what seemed like forever.

  “You thought I was distant because I don’t love you anymore?”

  “Uh, well, that pretty much sums it up.”

  Under his breath, he let out a clipped, “doprix nyx,” and clutched me tighter against him. “This is difficult to explain,” he began, but fell silent again.

  I waited, hoping there would be more explanation to come. After a few moments, he continued. “I never dreamed I was giving you that impression. If I appeared standoffish, it was because I was angry with myself for not protecting you. Instead, you had to protect us all.”

  “It wasn’t like you decided to stand idly by and do nothing. Your power was limited,” I reminded him.

  I could feel the muscles tighten in his chest. “It’s my job, and I was worthless.”

  “It’s your job as a Xyzok, or it’s your job to protect me?” I asked, now completely confused.

  “Both,” he huffed. “I didn’t know Prytx was spying on us, I didn’t know the Jyryxahal, or Prytx for that matter, followed us up Babo, and because I couldn’t use my magic, you were forced to do things—terrible things—I know you didn’t want to.”

  “How is that your fault? Sebastian didn’t sense Prytx or the Jyryxahal either, and everyone else’s magic was screwed up in Dekankara, too. You weren’t worthless; you made it possible for Agnes and Prytx to coordinate their attack with Jifga’s defectors.”

  He closed his eyes. “I should have done more.”

  “And I should have a million bucks and a cabana boy,” I blurted angrily. “You did what you could.” I leaned onto my elbows to look at him. “I’m used to unpredictable magic, that’s all I have,” I said softly, opting for a more neutral tone. “You, on the other hand, are always in control,” and borrowing from Ulut’s analysis, “and used to being the biggest badass in the room. This one time, you couldn’t rely on your magic, but you still used your training. You know how to survive under horrible conditions, you know how to act, and how to gather information without anyone suspecting.”

  I paused, considering my next words carefully.

  “You can beat yourself up all you want, Blondie, but I love you, and I don’t think you failed me. Not. At. All.” I jabbed his chest with my forefinger to emphasize each of the last words.

  He tucked my head back into his shoulder. “But you did think I wanted out. Why on Earth would you believe that?”

  Because underneath all my false bravado, I’m actually insecure about our relationship?

  “Look, I was a crazy, moody, shrew in the oversized, unattractive body of a freaky beast. Why wouldn’t I think you might have second thoughts?”

  “You think you were unattractive?” he said, a note of incredulity in his voice. He sat up and opened his hand, palm up. Soon, a three-dimensional image appeared, a holograph of monster-me. Apart from a few glimpses of portions of my body, I’d never seen what I actually looked like overall. My original assessment was largely correct. However, the mix of feathered body and scaly tail wasn’t nearly as grotesque as I imagined. The wings were indeed large and leathery, but spread lithe and limber despite their powerful strokes when I flew.

  The biggest surprise was my head. I’d never gotten a good look at it, and in my mind, I pictured it as another ghastly combination of bird and reptile. Instead, it was hardly avian at all, rather like a gecko’s—well, an enormous one—with a graceful ridge extending over my brows and meeting near the middle of the elongated snout. It was the eyes that I found the most mesmerizing: slanted and violet, tinged around the edges with copper, and a straight, dark pupil line through the center.

  “I was….”

  “Extraordinary,” Alex finished.

  “I was going to say, ‘not half-bad,’ but yours sounds better.”

  “And scary as hell,” he added, making the holograph change to display fire blasting from my wings.

  “Cool,” I marveled, taking in the amazing sight.

  Alex moved his hand, and the image disappeared, but I grinned up at his handsome face. I knew the holograph projected his memories, and not necessarily the actual scene, and if that was the way he saw me, he didn’t think I was hideous after all.

  “So you really didn’t think I was ugly?”

  “Nope.”

  “And what about my mood swings and terrible temper? That didn’t make you reluctant to hang out with me?

  “
I said you didn’t look ugly,” he teased. “But I never didn’t want to be with you.”

  “I know, you just didn’t want Jifga to know how we felt about each other. Still,” I said quietly, “it hurt.”

  “I know, and I’m sorry for that.” He pulled me against him and kissed the top of my head.

  “And I’m sorry for when I was irrational and surly.”

  We stayed clutched together for a while, until I thought of another question. “You weren’t at all concerned that I might never be human again?”

  I felt his muscles tighten again. “No. I was more concerned you were going to die,” he said solemnly.

  We both remained silent, taking in the implications of how close I might have been to kicking off this mortal coil. Suddenly, he relaxed and grinned slyly.

  “Well, if we are being honest, I did worry that if you were stuck that way, I might be incinerated while in the throes of passion.”

  “You brave enough to take the risk, Blondie?” I challenged, flinging the covers off me to reveal my lack of attire.

  In a blur, Alex removed his clothing and settled back beside me. “I’ll take my chances,” he replied.

  I inched my fingers down his rippled abs and then lower. “Damn, I missed having hands.”

  He must have missed them as well, as he sighed blissfully at my ministrations. I shifted position so my head hovered over his hips. “You think that was good? Wait until you see what I can do with a mouth without fangs.”

  He moaned when I hit my mark. “Be gentle with me, carisa, I don’t think the bed is fireproof.”

  I stopped what I was doing and lifted my head. “Don’t worry. Sebastian thought of everything. There’s a fire extinguisher in the closet.”

  35

  Prytx swore he didn’t know the identities of the treasonous council members, and while he seemed sincere, he was, after all, a spy. Karttyx took him back to Courso in secret and under heavy guard until she figured out what to do with him. He didn’t act too upset at the prospect of what amounted to incarceration without due process, probably because the alternative Sebastian suggested, taking him into the desert and shooting him, was a lot harsher. Leave it to the Marquise de Kess to make prison seem like the lesser of two evils.