Savage Winter

by Constance O'Banyon

  She saw the mist of tears in his eyes and smiled in understanding. “Tag, I believe you have grown two feet since I last saw you,” she said through trembling lips.

  “I am almost a man now, Joanna.”

  “Indeed, you are,” she answered, watching him turn to Morning Song. Joanna saw the young girl’s eyes light up with admiration as Tag took her hand. Knowing how Morning Song felt about her brother, Joanna knew that she was feeling shy at Tag’s attention to her.

  Turning her attention to Farley, she laughed at the expression on his face. She knew he was still having a hard time believing she was alive.

  “Farley, I feared that you had been killed by the Cree. I am so glad to see that was not the case, my dearest friend,” she said, holding her hand out to him.

  “I surely am mighty proud to see you alive. I done thought you had breathed your last,” he said in a gruff voice, reaching out and taking her small hand in his.

  Joanna laughed, “It would seem that you and I are very hard to get rid of, my friend.”

  Farley laid her hand against his rough cheek, too choked up to speak, but then words had never been necessary between the two of them.

  As the day passed, many of Joanna’s and Morning Song’s friends came by to visit them. The tale of their daring journey was told and retold many times.

  Finally, Sun Woman would admit no more visitors and insisted the two girls rest.

  Joanna lay back on the buffalo robe, feeling totally exhausted. She was home, but the reception she had received from Windhawk hadn’t been what she had hoped for. He was as cold and distant as he had been before. She wondered if Red Bird had moved into Windhawk’s lodge, taking her place as his wife. She couldn’t bring herself to ask the question of anyone, fearing to hear the truth.

  Morning Song smiled at Joanna, and they both allowed Sun Woman to wait on them, knowing it was bringing her pleasure. Sun Woman wasn’t satisfied until both girls had eaten a substantial meal.

  The next afternoon, a heavy snowstorm moved over the Blackfoot land. By nightfall the wind was gale force, and visibility was very poor as the wind swirled and whipped the snow about forcefully.

  Joanna and Morning Song were feeling so well that Morning Song had gone to visit with her friends and Joanna was helping Sun Woman prepare the evening meal.

  Sun Woman took Joanna’s hand. Her one wish was that Windhawk and Joanna would get back together. Joanna was carrying her grandchild—it was only right that her son should look after his wife and child. She decided she would take a hand in getting things started in that direction.

  “I wonder if you are feeling well enough to go to Windhawk’s lodge and get some extra blankets, Joanna? The night has turned cold, and we do not have enough to keep us warm.”

  “I do not want to go to Windhawk’s lodge, my mother. Do not ask it of me.”

  “I would go myself, Joanna, but I have too much to do. I do not think Windhawk will be there,” Sun Woman said, speaking what she knew to be a falsehood. She knew with the blizzard that Windhawk would not have left his lodge, and she knew Red Bird wouldn’t be there since she had just seen her entering Gray Fox’s tipi. Sun Woman would go to any lengths to help Joanna and her son. She felt guilty because it had been at her urging that Red Bird had gone to Windhawk’s lodge in the first place. She, like everyone, knew that Windhawk didn’t love Red Bird.

  “I will go if you think Windhawk will not be there,” Joanna said.

  With a shake of his head, Windhawk refused the food Red Bird set before him. Standing up, he walked out the entrance and stared over to his mother’s tipi, which was barely visible in the raging snowstorm. He wanted to go to Joanna and rip the long knife’s baby from her body. It hadn’t escaped his notice that she had been unusually quiet when he had visited her and Morning Song the day before. Windhawk was sure he had read guilt on Joanna’s face. There had been many questions he had wanted to ask her, but he had pushed them to the back of his mind. From the size of Joanna’s stomach, it wouldn’t be too long until the baby would be born. He dreaded the day she would give birth to the white man’s baby!

  No matter how Joanna had ripped his heart apart, Windhawk couldn’t bear to think of her leaving. He would never allow her to go to her white lover. He didn’t yet know what to do with her, but he did know he would keep her in his village so he could see her and be near her. No, perhaps he would send her to the other Blood village to stay with her friend Amanda. She could have her baby there, then he wouldn’t be near when the child was born.

  Thinking that he couldn’t stand being in the lodge with Red Bird any longer, he placed a buffalo robe about his shoulders and went out in the storm.

  Red Bird slammed the wooden dishes together and placed them in a leather pouch, knowing it was snowing too hard to take them to the river to wash them. She was tired of Windhawk’s looking right through her as if she didn’t even exist. Tonight, she would make him want her. She knew very well he hadn’t been with another woman since the Flaming Hair. Red Bird was angry that not once had he looked at her with eyes of desire. Tonight, she was determined to change that. She dared not wait any longer to put her plan into motion.

  When Windhawk returned, he went straight to his mat without even glancing at the Piegan woman. Lying down, he folded his arms behind his head and stared at the top of the lodge. He heard Red Bird moving about and glanced over at her. He watched with little interest as she walked toward him and dropped down to remove her moccasins. She stood up and raised her gown over her head and dropped it to her feet. His mind wasn’t really on her as she moved slowly toward him, completely naked—he was thinking of flashing violet eyes and flaming red hair.

  “I stand before you ready to offer myself to you, Windhawk,” Red Bird said, dropping to her knees.

  Windhawk’s eyes ran over her nakedness, and it registered in his mind that Red Bird was very beautiful. Her skin was deeply bronzed and smooth—but his body craved soft, creamy white skin; her breasts were large—while the ones he ached to touch were smaller, with rose tips; her hair was black and hung down to her hips—the hair he longed to bury his face in was red-gold and curled and spiraled as if it were alive; Red Bird’s eyes were soft brown—the eyes that haunted his dreams were deep violet-blue, and a man could lose himself in them.

  Suddenly, he wanted to rid himself of Joanna’s domination. She ruled his every thought and deed. He couldn’t still the ache that dwelled deep inside of him. Perhaps Red Bird could drive away his demons, he thought, as he reached forward and jerked her down beside him. He molded her body to his and pushed her curtain of dark hair aside to fasten his lips on hers!

  He heard her deep intake of breath as his lips traveled down to nudge her breasts. He felt nothing inside when she moved her body against his, and he cursed the feelings for Joanna that wouldn’t allow him to take Red Bird.

  He tried to tell himself that Joanna had betrayed him, but still his manhood would not swell with passion for the Piegan woman. He reminded himself that Joanna was now carrying another man’s child within her body, but still no desire flamed to life in his body.

  Raising his head up, he looked at Red Bird in confusion. Her eyes were passion-bright, and she was breathing heavily, but it sparked no want in him.

  Shaking his head, he pushed her away. “I am sorry, Red Bird. I cannot give you what you want, and you cannot fill the emptiness within me.”

  He watched her features harden as she sprang to her feet. “You are the great Windhawk! How can you want a woman with the pale white skin? I am the daughter of a powerful Piegan chief—it is not good that you insult me in this way. Have you no thought for my feelings?”

  “I have no intention of insulting you, Red Bird. I will send you back to your father, if that is your wish.”

  “No! You cannot shame me in front of your people and mine. I will not go back to my father in disgrace because I was spurned by you!”

  Windhawk stood up. “Then perhaps you should look for a husband a
mong my warriors. I have a wife, and I will take no other.”

  Red Bird’s face became a mask of fury. “You mean you do not want one of your own kind for your wife! You would rather have a weak, white-faced woman. If you love her so much, why do you not bring her to your lodge? I have heard that she carries your child…why do you not feel happy about that?”

  Windhawk’s eyes narrowed. No one knew it was not his child that Joanna carried. He was sure there were many of his people who were wondering why he didn’t bring Joanna to his lodge.

  “I will speak no more to you of this. I am not your husband that you can ask anything of me. It was not my wish that you come to my village.”

  Red Bird dropped to her knees, thinking she might have said too much. “Do not send me away, Windhawk. Allow me to stay in your lodge and care for you until I know what to do with my life.”

  Windhawk didn’t want her in his lodge. He knew his people were thinking he would soon take her as his wife. He felt guilty that he couldn’t give her what she wanted from him. Pity and guilt caused him to speak more kindly to her.

  “You can stay for a time. I will search for a husband for you, if that will please you.”

  Red Bird lowered her head so he didn’t see the hatred in her eyes. The white face would pay for the insult that Windhawk had given her. She would make Flaming Hair pay for this affront to her pride somehow, she thought bitterly.

  Windhawk reached down and helped Red Bird to stand. “Come, put your clothing on. It is cold.”

  Hearing a gasp, Windhawk turned to the entrance to see Joanna cover her mouth with her hand. He could see the tears running down her face, and he knew she was thinking that he and Red Bird had just risen from his mat.

  Red Bird moved against Windhawk and gave Flaming Hair a vicious smile, knowing the white woman would draw the wrong conclusion.

  Joanna seemed to be glued to the spot. She tried to leave, but her feet wouldn’t obey her command. The pain in her heart was so acute she felt as if she had just died inside. She hadn’t known one could feel such pain and still live. Her eyes sought Windhawk’s, and she saw his dark eyes narrow to sparkling slits.

  “What do you want?” Windhawk asked her.

  “I…I came for…your mother asked me to get…blankets,” she said, backing toward the entrance. “I…am sorry…for…your mother said…forgive me,” she whispered, turning around and running from the lodge.

  Windhawk flung Red Bird away from him. He hadn’t done anything wrong. Why did he feel this deep hurt at what Joanna must be thinking? It was not he who was the betrayer. Joanna was the one who had cast their love aside. Why did he want to go after her and take her in his arms, explaining to her that he had not taken Red Bird to his mat? He wanted to hold her next to him and speak of the love that burned in his heart for her.

  Shaking his head to clear it, Windhawk knew he had too much pride to allow Joanna to see how much power she had over him. He walked to the entrance and flung the flap aside. He saw Joanna enter his mother’s lodge, and the urge to follow had left him. He was Windhawk—chief of the Blackfoot! No woman, not even Joanna, could make a fool of him.

  Joanna sat dry-eyed, feeling the heart within her break. She remembered the time Windhawk had whispered words of love in her ear, speaking of his eternal love. Her body began to tremble, and she pulled a warm buffalo robe over her. Now, Windhawk had replaced her with the Piegan woman, and she wondered if the hurt of seeing them together would ever heal.

  If I were dying, it would not hurt this much, she thought as she lay down and closed her eyes, trying to shut out the vision of Red Bird in Windhawk’s arms.

  Sun Woman looked up from her cooking and noticed Joanna’s strange behavior. “Did you not get the blankets I sent you after, my daughter?”

  Joanna shook her head as tears ran down her cheeks. “Why did you not tell me that Red Bird had moved into Windhawk’s lodge?”

  Sun Woman walked over to Joanna. “I do not think that woman is important in my son’s life. If you wanted Windhawk, you could have him back. A woman knows how to get a man to want her.”

  Joanna gazed upward as tears washed down her face. “I will never, never, allow your son to touch me again! He has betrayed me and our child. I will never forget the sight of Windhawk and that woman…they were…”

  Sun Woman pulled Joanna into her arms and cradled her as if she were a child. “Cry, my daughter, and I will cry with you. I did not know that you would find my son and that Piegan woman on the mat. It is my stupidity that has caused you hurt tonight.”

  Joanna sobbed brokenheartedly. “I hurt so badly, my mother. I love him so much.”

  “Hush, hush,” she soothed. “The time will come when my son will come to his senses. A woman can do no more than wait for a man to make up his mind.”

  “I will not wait for him to decide if he wants me,” Joanna said, raising her head. “I will put him out of my mind and out of my heart!”

  “Often one says things in hurt and anger that one has cause to regret later on, my daughter. Do not be guilty of speaking in haste.”

  “My mind is clear, my mother. I know what I saw, and nothing you can say will wipe it from my mind. You and Morning Song have told me many times that Windhawk loves me. Does it seem like love to you if a woman’s husband sends his wife away and takes another woman to his lodge? Does it seem like love if a man does not accept his own child?”

  Sun Woman could only shake her head. She had no answers to Joanna’s questions!

  Chapter Twenty

  In spite of the snow and the high winds, Joanna walked down to the river and leaned her head against a tree without really feeling the cold. She was still horrified by what she had witnessed between Windhawk and Red Bird. She had thought that Windhawk might take Red Bird for his wife, but actually watching him holding the Piegan woman’s naked body in his arms had been so very painful to her that she couldn’t seem to get it out of her mind.

  Suddenly Joanna raised her head. She had done nothing wrong that would give Windhawk the right to treat her in such a degrading manner. Her worst fault had been in thinking she was meeting Harland because she thought he was in trouble. Her eyes sparkled, and she felt like the old Joanna again. She would not allow Windhawk or anyone else to push her around! She felt ashamed at how meek she had been acting. Squaring her shoulders, Joanna knew she would never allow him to shame her again.

  Suddenly, an intense pain ripped through her body, and she locked her hands around the tree trunk and bit her lower lip to keep from crying out. The baby was letting her know that it was about to be born.

  When the pain subsided, Joanna felt shaken. She made her way slowly to Sun Woman’s tipi. Pushing the flap aside, she entered, hoping she could make it to her mat before another pain ripped through her body.

  Sun Woman laid her sewing aside when she saw Joanna’s face. “You have been gone a long time, my daughter. I began to hope you had returned to Windhawk’s lodge so the two of you could talk out your differences.”

  Joanna eased herself down on the buffalo robe. “Your son has another wife. My visit to his lodge earlier today was the last time I will ever go to him!”

  Sun Woman studied Joanna’s face and noticed how pale it was. It was her fault that Joanna had caught Windhawk and Red Bird together. She had been so sure that her son had not lain with the Piegan woman. She had thought that if Joanna and Windhawk could talk to each other they would be able to put their bitterness aside and make a home for her unborn grandchild.

  Joanna grabbed her stomach and doubled up in pain. “Help me, my mother! I think the baby comes.”

  Sun Woman came to her and dropped to her knees. “It is not yet time for the child. I had thought it would not be born for another full moon.”

  Joanna waited for the pain to pass before she could speak. “I thought so too, but I was mistaken. I must have counted wrong, or the baby is coming early.”

  Sun Woman laid her hand on Joanna’s shoulder. “I must tell W
indhawk he is about to become a father.”

  Joanna grabbed her stomach once more and doubled up as another pain ripped through her body. “No, I do not want Windhawk to know I am having the baby. Stay with me, my mother—please, do not leave me alone!”

  Sun Woman watched Joanna with a troubled expression on her face. She knew it was too early for the pains to be coming so close together. “I will be right back, Joanna. I am going for help.”

  After Sun Woman left, Joanna relaxed as the pain subsided. She remembered that a Blackfoot woman was not supposed to cry out while giving birth—she hoped she wouldn’t shame herself when the pains became more severe.

  A short time later, Sun Woman returned with Swift Walker, a wife of one of the lesser chiefs. She assured Joanna that Swift Walker had delivered many healthy babies.

  Joanna couldn’t help but wish for She Who Heals. She knew that if the medicine woman had not died she would be here to attend her. Joanna missed the dear old woman more than ever at that moment, because She Who Heals had always brought her comfort when she needed it.

  As the night lengthened, Joanna’s pains became much more severe. Her body was drenched with perspiration, and she bit her lip until it bled, trying to keep from crying out. Moaning softly, she tossed and turned as her whole being seemed to be locked in a world of pain. A white-hot flash burned into Joanna’s eyes, and she placed her hand over her mouth to keep from crying out.

  Hour after hour, one pain followed another. Finally, Sun Woman stood up and looked at Swift Walker.

  “The baby is turned wrong. I will go to my son and ask if he wants to save Joanna or his child.”

  Swift Walker nodded her head in understanding. She knew the Flaming Hair and the child might both die, but there was a chance that one of them could be saved at the sacrifice of the other’s life.

  Sun Woman threw back the flap and entered Windhawk’s darkened lodge. The fire was smoldering and gave very little light to the darkened corners. She made her way to Windhawk’s mat. It crossed Sun Woman’s mind that she had been right—Windhawk and Red Bird did not share the same mat. Red Bird’s mat was located near the fire, while her son’s was against the back wall of the lodge.