Rogue Heart

by Samantha Wolfe

  "Lad?" he asks, his voice a mere whisper between labored breaths, his face twisted in agony. He weakly lifts a hand and reaches toward me.

  "I'm here," I say, gripping his blood covered hand in mine as tears burn my eyes and blur my vision.

  "Took 'em long enough," he says weakly with a quirk of his mouth. "Worth it."

  "What?"

  "Teaching you...breaking my vow..."

  "Vow?" I ask softly, my brows deeply furrowed. "What vow?" I have no idea what he's talking about.

  "The vow I made...to...to get out of the business...my vow not to teach another. It...it was worth it...for you, lad." He feebly squeezes my hand as guilt chokes my heart in a strangle hold. "So proud." His eyes gleam with it. "You're ready to...to kill who needs killing now." He takes a deep gurgling breath before he wheezes out his final words to me. "Go...do...it..."

  No, no, no...not another one...not again.

  "Cormac." My voice is desperate as his eyes drift into a sightless stare. "Cormac." His hand goes limp in mine as his body stills. "Cormac?!" And with my last desperate unheeded plea, he's gone. Yet again, I'm too late to save someone I love. Yet again, I'm left all alone. And yet again...it's all my fault.

  I wake from my dream to the sweet familiar scent of wild honeysuckle, my heart anguished and desolate as I burrow my face deeper into the side of Lyric's neck and let my tears soak into her long soft hair. Fuck these soul-sucking dreams in all their vivid and grotesque detail that keep torturing me with the past I don't want to remember. Fuck the long suppressed emotions that won't stay buried where they belong and keep roiling back up inside me. Fuck this pain and guilt and sorrow.

  "It's okay, baby." Lyric's soothing voice cuts through my lingering disorientation, and I feel her concern curl around me through the mating bond. "I'm here." She gently rubs my forearms where they're wrapped around her, holding her close with her back to my front. "Bad dream?"

  "Yeah," I murmur, hoping she'll let this subject go as I try to push down the disturbing remnants of my dream and return to reality. I didn't even realize I'd called out my mentor's name aloud until Lyric speaks again.

  "Who's Cormac?" she asks, dashing my hope.

  The name spoken aloud sends me plummeting back into the black despair of my dream, and of course Lyric feels it. She twists around in my arms to face me and gently cups my face in her hands.

  "Shh." Her thumbs caress my lips, her growing smile radiant...glorious. "Whatever it is, I'm here for you whether you tell me or not." Her eyes are bright with affection that I can feel radiating from her into my heart and my soul as she says the same words I told her last night and meant with every cell in my body. "I love you."

  And instead of it comforting me, like I'm sure she intended, or the joy it brought me the first time while I was deep inside her, all I feel now is pain and despair. Flashing images of my dead father, my dead mother, and my dead mentor suddenly appear and fill my mind. They're accompanied by the shrill wailing of the infant who lost her entire family because her brother was too young and worthless to save their parents or to take care of her himself. I see the swathe of death and destruction I've cursed on anyone who ever cared about me. And finally, I see an image of the future where all I have left of my mate is her cold lifeless corpse because she was naive enough to care about me...to love me.

  Of course, Lyric feels every god-awful nuance of pain and sorrow through our bond and her face twists with the devastating agony of it all. Tears instantly swell in her beautiful eyes as she gasps in horror.

  "Ronan?" she asks tremulously.

  I can feel her anguish twisting and knotting painfully around inside her, and I know it's there because of her bond with me, and it pushes me over the edge with a wave of soul-crushing guilt. I surge up off the couch in a panic, spilling her onto the floor in my haste. I stagger across the tiny living room and into the kitchen to get away from her, so I can't keep hurting her with my fucked-up emotions. She immediately rises to her feet and follows after me with sympathetic tears still streaming from her eyes. I keep backing away until I hit the refrigerator and raise my hands up to stop her from coming any closer.

  "I'm sorry," I say in a broken voice made harsh by my self-recrimination. "So sorry."

  She stops with one hand still reaching out toward me like she can't help herself. "It's okay, baby," she says in a soothing tone, her eyes swimming with worry. "Let me touch you. I can help make it better."

  She can't. No one can.

  I shake my head vehemently as I motion toward my head. "I'll...I'll just suck you in here again." I take in a shuddering breath to fight down a sob. "Please, I...I...don't want that. Don't...don't want to hurt you."

  Her expression turns pained as she huffs out a frustrated breath, and her hand drops to her side. Then her eyes widen in sudden realization and her gaze flicks over to the kitchen counter next to me to lock onto something there. I follow her line of sight to see the enspelled crystal necklace lying on the counter where I left it earlier.

  "Put it on," she says.

  "What?"

  "Please." Her voice is soft and pleading now. "Not touching you right now is killing me."

  It's killing me too, and I immediately snatch up the necklace and yank it over my head. A second later, Lyric is right there pulling me into her arms to hold me close, absent our bond thanks to the pendant, as she comforts me with only sweet words and gentle touches that I don't deserve. But I take them anyway and fold myself around her, relishing her warmth and light, because I know it's the last of it that I'll ever get since it's clear to me what I have to do now to keep her safe and alive. I have to be the one who loves her enough to walk away because she'll never leave me. She'll keep coming back if I try to push her away. She won't be able to help herself. So I'm left with the only option that she just handed me the means and opportunity to get away with and may very well destroy me in the process.

  26

  RONAN

  "Just give me a few days to finish this," I say, easily selling the lie like I've done so many other times while working on a contract. "Then I can move on, and we can be together completely and openly without the darkness of my past hanging over us."

  "Okay." Lyric's gorgeous eyes are bright and loving as she smiles up at me, so trusting, so naive to believe a man like me.

  Everything I've told her since putting on the pendant again has been a lie to manipulate her, and she's believed every single one. I feel my resolve crumble around the edges as my stomach sours at what I'm doing, lying to my mate, the only woman I've ever loved, or ever will love. But that's exactly why I have to do this, because I love her too much to let being with me get her killed. So I steel myself to do what needs to be done. Let her go. Because after I finally kill Weylin and put an end to this contract, to this obsession, I'm going to disappear without a trace and never see this gorgeous creature again.

  "I can't wait for this to be over," she says as she places her palm over my heart. "I can't wait for you to be mine forever."

  Fuck.

  Dark despair is a blight on my soul as I reach up to push some of her glorious caramel blond hair behind an ear. I let my gaze trail after my fingers as they glide down her cheek. I want to memorize every minute detail of her beautiful face, to tuck it away as my only solace in a future I know will be filled with stark and unending loneliness without her. I hold my deepening anguish in tight, praying it doesn't show in my eyes.

  She lifts her other hand and places it over mine as I cup her chin. "I love you, Ronan," she whispers, the emotion glittering in her eyes in the moonlight as we stand next to her truck. Thank God for the pendant, or she'd feel exactly how much those words break me inside.

  "I love you too," I tell her, my voice husky with conviction as much as my unbearable heartache. I lean down to kiss her before my expression gives my true feelings away.

  Her lips are pure heaven as I pull her flush against me and devour her, savoring her candy sweet taste, and the feel of her gloriou
s body on mine. I want to sear this moment into my mind, so I'll always have it with me, unlike so many of the memories I have that I wish I could forget. I press her back against the driver's side door groaning and rutting against her, wishing I could be inside her again, could take off the pendant and feel what she feels through our bond one more time. I long to let her feel my love for her, and how sorry I am that I have to let her go in this despicable dishonest way. I'm breathless with need when I finally force myself to pull away before I change my mind and keep her forever. For her sake, I can't be that selfish.

  I rub my thumb across her luscious kiss-swollen lips. "We'll be together again soon, sugar."

  "Promise?" she asks with the silver of her she-wolf shining in her eyes.

  I force myself to smile like I mean it as I lie to her one final time. "I promise."

  Then with one more glorious smile, she climbs into her truck and drives away. My burning eyes follow her progress along the rutted driveway as it winds off into the darkened woods until she finally disappears from my sight and my life forever. For a few more moments, I give myself the luxury of wallowing in my pain and sorrow as silent tears tumble down my cheeks before I finally shut it down and harden my heart.

  I am steel.

  I am stone.

  I am cold ruthless death.

  I can be nothing else until this hit is done, and I've forced myself to walk away from Lyric. So with my focus renewed on the task at hand, I turn and go back into the cabin. I shower and dress, then gather my weapons and my black leather trench coat, planning on going to Weylin's home tonight for some more reconnaissance. If I'm lucky, perhaps I'll get a chance to end his life tonight, and I can leave sooner than later, because the longer I'm close to Lyric, the more tempting it will be to stay.

  I get into the Mach 1 and take off with every intention of driving toward Wolcott, but my body has other ideas, and I head in the opposite direction. Before I know it, I'm parked in the gravel lot of Rowdy's Tavern, and staring at the front entrance with a jumble of fear and longing twisting torturously around inside me. On one hand, I'm terrified of seeing my sister and feeling the pain and loss of walking away from her all over again. On the other, I long to reassure myself that she truly is happy and doing fine without me.

  I grip the steering wheel tight as I waver back and forth in indecision, until I finally realize the mere thought of not seeing her one more time is far more unbearable than any pain it could cause me. My choice made, I get out of the car and go inside.

  The place isn't much busier than last night, and not any easier on my heightened senses as I'm assaulted by the bar's scents and sounds. I scan the room from just inside the doorway and immediately spy my sister across the room at the pass-through window into the kitchen. Raven is wearing a wide grin as she talks to one of the cooks, then laughs before filling the tray in her hand with several baskets of food. She moves with an easy grace as she drops the food off at one of the occupied tables with a friendly smile. I continue watching her as she heads toward the bar, then notice the same surly bartender there leveling a steely glare my way. Shit. I'm being a creeper again. I pull my attention away from my sister, then make my way to a table on the far side of the room from the man's hard stare. I don't want to piss him off and get myself kicked out of here before I can say a silent goodbye to my sister.

  I'm only seated for a few moments when Raven approaches me with a warm smile and says, "Hey, you're back."

  "Um...uh...yeah..." I say, stunned once again by how much of our father and mother I see in her features as much as by the fact that she noticed me at all last night.

  "Is everything okay now?" she asks with a sympathetic expression, then her face instantly flushes in embarrassment. "Sorry, I know it's probably none of my business, but you just looked so upset when you ran out of here last night."

  I stare at her dumbly. She noticed that too?

  "Shit." Her blush deepens, and she grimaces as she waves a dismissive hand in the air. "Just forget I said any of that crap." She takes a deep fortifying breath and gives me a beaming smile. "What can I get for you tonight?" she asks, and then rattles off the food and drink specials.

  She's so stinking adorable, and despite my dark mood, I can't help smiling back at her as I place my order and when she brings it out to me shortly after that. However, a wave of heavy sadness falls over me and stays there as she walks away again. I spend the next little while covertly watching her and slowly nursing my burger and beer as I put off the inevitable moment when I have to leave her behind for the last time.

  After I finish my food, I order another beer since I'm not ready to go just yet. Raven brings it to me and sets it on the table in front of me with her usual warm smile. She walks back toward the bar, but pauses partway there to glance toward the entrance. Suddenly, her smile grows huge and her face beams with happiness. Curious, I follow her gaze and freeze at the sight of the familiar man with short dark hair and pale blue eyes who just walked in through the door.

  It's Rett Weylin's youngest son and his spitting image, Emmett Weylin.

  I stare in shock as he grins broadly at Raven, then quickly crosses the room toward her. When he reaches her, he immediately wraps her up in his arms and kisses her briefly, yet with a fierce undeniable passion that has my sister melting against him. The little husky from last night comes streaking across the room and circles around the couple, hopping around excitedly.

  I gawk incredulously. Holy fuck. My sister is mated to Rett Weylin's son? I'm still gaping at them as they pull back from the kiss and gaze at each other with deep affection.

  "What are you doing here?" Raven asks him.

  "I got tired of waiting for you, Rav," he says in a low rough voice that sounds almost identical to his father's.

  She laughs. "I would've been home in a couple of hours, silly."

  They live together?

  I can't wrap my head around how this is even possible. Yet I can't help wondering why it didn't occur to me before now that she could be a part of Weylin's pack, considering where she works and her father's Wolcott PD uniform? Have I been so caught up in Lyric that I was just that blind and clueless? Probably.

  "Don't care," Emmet says gruffly. "I missed you, baby." He rubs his thumb over her lips as she leans her face into his touch. "Can you take a little break?"

  Raven sighs melodramatically through a grin. "Well, I guess I can, seeing as you drove all the way out here just to see me," she says as she motions to a table not that far from mine. "Have a seat, and I'll get you some of those fried pickles you love."

  "Make it a double order, and I'll make it worth your while later," he says, then growls playfully and smacks her ass as she walks away laughing. He takes a seat at the table with his gaze still locked on my sister, and the husky leans against his leg with adoring eyes as he absently strokes the dog's furry head.

  I study how he watches Raven, his expression intent and filled with obvious longing as he tracks her across the room. He's definitely her mate, but is he good enough for her? I have no fucking clue. Is he an evil bastard like his father? He doesn't seem so from the two times that I've seen him, but look what trusting a Weylin got my father.

  Emmett suddenly stiffens and glances over at me warily. Shit, this situation is making me careless, and I can't afford to attract his attention. I immediately look down at my beer and take a sip, acting as nonchalant as I can until Raven comes back across the room with a basket of food. He looks away and only has eyes for her again as she sits across the table from him. He snags the basket and drags it closer, then starts enthusiastically shoveling fried pickles in his mouth as she shakes her head at him in amusement.

  "You're such a cliché," she tells him quietly enough that I wouldn't have heard if I was human. "Wolfing your food down like that."

  He shrugs and grins unapologetically as he continues inhaling the pickles.

  "You should be savoring it," Raven says with an arched brow.

  "I'd rather savor ot
her things," he says, waggling his eyebrows suggestively as he reaches across the tabletop to grab her hand.

  She rolls her eyes as she twines her fingers with his, and they spend a few moments staring adoringly at each other.

  "Are you excited about tomorrow night?" Emmett finally asks between bites.

  Her expression turns anxious. "I'm nervous."

  "Why?" he asks as he cocks his head. "It's not your first hunt with the pack."

  "I know, but it's my first full moon with everyone."

  So she hasn't been with the Weylin pack for long. Interesting.

  He gives her a reassuring smile. "It's not going to be any different from the last hunt, baby." His brow furrows. "Well, except for that real wolf Dad plans on us ousting out of the preserve."

  Real wolf?

  "What real wolf?" Raven asks.

  "Dad found traces of one near the back of the house the other day."

  I narrow my eyes, almost certain that those traces Rett found were from me.

  "Dad says we can't let it stay and risk it attacking any of the livestock in the area and drawing any human attention. The rain last night washed the scent away so we can't track it from Mom and Dad's house. Instead, we're going to spread out one by one until we find it, then scare the ever-loving shit out of it so it leaves."

  Emmett begins explaining his father's plans to Raven in detail as my mind whirls at the opportunity that just dropped into my lap. I listen intently, committing every word to memory until they move on to another subject, and I let the rest of their conversation fade into background noise.

  Dark and bloodthirsty elation swells in my chest and has me grinning maniacally as it supersedes anything else in my head. Nothing else matters now, and I immediately surge to my feet as I pull a fifty out of my pocket and throw it on the table. Then I hurry out of the bar in my haste to go back to the cabin and plan my next move. Why? Because I just discovered the perfect bait to separate Rett from the pack and finally take him out.