Twice in a Lifetime (Love Found)

by Henrick, Ruthie

  She hiccupped. “I don’t know where that came from.”

  “Well, it seems that this is something we’re not done dealing with.”

  It was much easier to talk in the dark, tucked against his belly. “I can’t get it out of my mind. Everywhere I go I see babies in strollers, babies in car seats, pregnant women.” Those damn tears were starting again.

  “Okay, hush, hush now.” His hands circled her back in slow, deliberate movements. She pushed herself to a sit.

  “It’s not fair, Jake. I’m only forty-one and I feel betrayed by my body.” The edge of the sheet worked well to dry her eyes. Her voice lowered to a tortured whisper. “I love you. I want to have a baby with you.”

  She let him drag her into his arms, then lay there sniffling. “Allie, baby, I’ve got you. But life is not always fair. As much as I want a little girl with pretty curls running around our house—”

  He leaned and rubbed his cheek against her hair. “As much as the idea appeals to me, I didn’t marry you thinking it may happen.”

  She turned her head to face him. “But wouldn’t it—”

  Angling over her, he tipped her chin and cut her off with his mouth. Then murmured into her ear. “Yes, it would. But I love you even if it doesn’t happen.”

  The anxiety she hadn’t been able to control faded like thunder moving on after a storm. “Why are you so good to me?” She wiggled until she lay flat again, pulling him with her. His warm breath caused familiar needs to stir low in her belly. “Are you ready to sleep now?” She turned into him, nibbling his chin until he lowered his head.

  She cooled when he lifted away, then warmed again when he covered her.

  “Not quite yet.”

  Trey was making the last noises he’d make at her house for months. A thud when his final duffle bag hit the bed of his truck, a slam when he shoved the tailgate back in place, and a slap when his palms struck his thighs as he returned to say goodbye.

  “All loaded. Just need my backpack from inside.”

  How long until the quiet was normal again?

  He opened the door and beckoned her to enter. “Come inside, Mom. It’s too cold to be out here in your pajamas.”

  She followed him in. “Did you say goodbye to Jake?”

  “Not yet, he was already gone when I got up.” His voice faded as he disappeared down the hallway.

  “Maybe you could give him a call,” she called after him. She was stalling. He probably knew she was stalling.

  He returned with his backpack slung over his shoulder. “I need to stop by the office to pick up my last paycheck. I’ll see him then.”

  She nodded. “So, you’re ready?”

  “All ready.”

  She tried to smile. “Well… drive safe. Don’t speed. Call me when you get there.”

  “You’ll be in school. I’ll call you tonight.”

  “Okay, I’ll talk to you tonight then.”

  “Oh, Mama. Stop crying.”

  She swiped at her cheek. “I miss you when you’re gone.”

  “I’ll be back soon.”

  “I know you will.” He let her wrap her arms around him, but she’d embarrass him if she started sobbing. “Go now. And don’t forget to call.”

  From the front porch she allowed herself to follow his taillights until they were no longer visible. Would she ever get used to this? She walked back into the house, veering toward her bedroom. Maybe a long run in the cold morning air would make her feel better. As she passed the sofa she plopped into the corner. First she would have a little cry.

  Allie leaned into the last turn of her first lap. Maddie kept pace beside her. “Hard to imagine this school year will be over in only three months. Next thing we know, the new year will be starting.”

  “Speaking of time, you’ve been married two months already.”

  She grinned. Couldn’t help it. “After my meltdown last month the poor guy probably regrets ever meeting me.” She could laugh about it now. “But he was great, even after I was mean to him.”

  “You’ve had a lot of changes in your life lately. It would make any woman moody.”

  Trey leaving home. Her drama with Jake. Their sudden marriage. “I think I’m starting menopause.”

  Maddie’s head whipped her way. “Are you kidding?”

  “I have all the classic symptoms. I’m moody and achy, I’ve put on a few pounds, I’m tired all the time but I can’t sleep. And then there’s the big one. No period for months now.” She rounded the next bend, starting mile four.

  “I wondered where you got those.”

  Her brand new thirty four D’s had caused Jake to snarl at more than one teenage boy during their week at the beach. “A little gift from Mother Nature.”

  Crossing the white finish line for the last time they turned and ambled toward their cars.

  “Has the doctor given you anything yet? You know, for the symptoms?”

  There was that niggle of guilt again. She really should take better care of her body. “Not yet, but her office called last week to schedule my annual. I have an appointment today after school.”

  No way! Not today! Allie tried the ignition one more time. Nothing but that annoying metallic gnashing. “Damn!” She thumped the steering wheel in frustration. Now she’d be late for the doctor. She pushed open the door and climbed out. It would be nice if she had time to enjoy the warm sun beating on her or the new buds sprouting on the trees. Instead she pulled out her cell phone and punched the speed dial.

  “Hey, babe. How was school today?” He sounded distracted. And someone was talking in the background.

  “It’s Friday. Whole school assembly”. In other words, controlled chaos. “And that was the good part of my day.”

  “Uh oh. What happened?”

  “My car died again. There’s nothing but a loud grinding.”

  Of course he asked the logical question. “Did you call Triple A?”

  “I have a doctor’s appointment in thirty minutes and Maddie already left.” She crossed her fingers. “Can you get away?”

  She probably wasn’t meant to hear that growl. “Give me a few minutes to tie up loose ends.”

  Jake repeatedly suggested she retire her clunker and drive his much newer sports car. Maybe it was time to take up his offer. She circled the aging sedan, kicking its balding tires. Oh, the vehicle served her well for several years, no need to abuse it. She rubbed its sun-faded hood like she was comforting a child to sleep.

  Thirty five minutes after her call for help, Jake had Allie at the women’s clinic. Not bad considering everything he had to blow off. She signed in and took the padded seat beside him.

  Could she tell he was uneasy? A quick glance confirmed there were enough pregnant women in the waiting room to make any warm-blooded male nervous. Only a few sat alone. Some seemed to have their entire family in tow; others sat quietly beside a man. Husband? Significant other? He could only speculate. Had those women’s cars broken down, too, or were those poor suckers here of their own free will?

  When Allie passed him a Sports Illustrated he grabbed it like a lifeline. Guys in the waiting room must be commonplace. He cracked his fingers, crossed his legs, drew three deep breaths, but it was no use. The butterflies were dug in.

  The magazine did a lousy job of holding his attention, but he jumped when a nurse read Allie’s name from a chart and she popped up. “Do you want to come in with me?”

  That brought him up straight in his seat. Oh, hell no. He knew what happened in there. He was flipping channels one night and came across a show on cable. Thought it might be something it most definitely wasn’t. He had weird dreams for a week.

  He cleared his throat and pointed to the magazine in his lap. “I think I’ll finish this article about the Suns.”

  “I won’t be long, dear. Don’t go away.” She gave him a little pat on his cheek.

  And grinned. Damn her, she knew he was scared and she was laughing.

  Allie sat on the edge of the ex
am table wearing a flimsy cotton gown when the doctor gave a brief rap and entered the room. She rubbed to quell the nerves fluttering in her stomach. “Hi, Doctor Quinn.”

  Emma Quinn, a woman in her early forties with streaked blonde hair caught back in a tail and purple print scrubs, took her time examining her chart. “It’s good to see you again, Allie.” Continuing to read the chart, she smiled and lifted her eyes. “I see you got remarried, congratulations.”

  “Yes, thank you. He actually brought me today.”

  “Hmm…” The doctor made a distracted noise. “So, tell me how you’ve been feeling. How’s your health?”

  “Well, a few things have been bothering me lately.” She went on to explain about the stomach flu she suffered last fall. About the achiness and fatigue. And her moodiness. Doctor Quinn clicked her pen and made a note on the chart. “And when was your last period?”

  “Back in May. I spotted for a few months, then nothing at all. I think I’m starting menopause.”

  Doctor Quinn made a few more notes. “Why don’t we have a look?” She laid the chart on a nearby desk and helped Allie lie back on the table. “You were preparing to run in your first marathon. How did that go?”

  Doctor Quinn had an easy manner, but the flutters in her stomach wouldn’t stop. God, she hated these appointments. “It was a half-marathon, actually, and it went well. She laid her hand on her belly as the doctor checked her breasts. Then she put each foot into a stirrup. The good doctor was kind enough to provide sheepskin coverings over the cold metal. She studied Doctor Quinn closely, but her face gave nothing away.

  “Has your stomach been bothering you?”

  Allie’s hand stopped. She hadn’t even realized she was rubbing. “For a few days now. At first I thought it was gas, but it must be anxiety.” She let out a meager laugh, gesturing to the room. “Who actually likes this, anyway?”

  Doctor Quinn took a seat on her rolling stool, donned latex gloves and began the dreaded exam. “Tell me about any other symptoms you may have.”

  “What, what do you mean?”

  “Weight gain, bloating, night sweats, dizziness, changes in your libido. Are you experiencing any of this? Doctor Quinn finished the exam and helped her sit, leaving her feet to dangle over the edge of the exam table.

  Her eyebrows tilted down as she gave the question serious thought. “I’ve gained a few pounds and my feet sometimes swell if I’ve been on them all day, but nothing too weird.” The butterflies were active again, each one banging away with a sledgehammer. “Why?”

  “Allie, did you ever talk to anyone—a friend or a professional—about the physical ramifications of such a grueling exercise schedule?”

  She shook her head slowly. “Nooo. Why?

  “Running as much as you do can bring on a condition that affects your cycle. And as long as you were at least spotting, you would have been ovulating.”

  Doctor Quinn lifted the chart from the desk and flipped through the pages. “You had a child once before, is that right?” At Allie’s hesitant nod she continued. “Do any of your symptoms seem familiar?”

  Suddenly it all came together and she couldn’t catch her breath. The crying jags, the constant drowsiness, her breasts, everything. A fifteen-year-old would have recognized what she rationalized away.

  Shock. She was in shock. But as the realization resonated throughout her, she turned to Doctor Quinn with joy spilling from her eyes. And whispered a single word.

  “When?”

  Doctor Quinn answered her with amused indulgence. “Since you’re obviously not eight months along, I suggest we do a sonogram to measure the baby, okay?”

  Allie nodded dumbly, placing her hands over her flutters.

  “My guess is those little nervous butterflies you feel is the baby moving, not a reaction to our little tea party here.”

  A baby? A baby. Allie massaged her belly with a new reverence.

  “Would you like to bring your husband in for the sonogram?”

  Allie nodded again. There was nothing to compare to the news he was about to receive. “Jake. His name’s Jake.” Her voice seemed to come from very far away.

  The doctor stepped into the hallway but returned in a few seconds. “The nurse will bring him right in.”

  Jake flipped through an outdated issue of Newsweek, checked his watch again. She’d been gone an hour already. Where was she? He didn’t realize how worried he was until she stepped through that doorway with the nurse.

  She better tell the doctor every damn thing that was going on, too. He wanted to know what the hell was wrong.

  “Jake Taylor?”

  He sprang from his seat. It was the same nurse who took Allie back. He knew it. Something was wrong. “Is everything all right?”

  She shared a guarded smile that told him nothing. They must practice those smiles in nursing school.

  “The doctor asked for you. Would you mind following me?”

  Oh God, he should have dragged her in here months ago. Dragged her through the door and down the hallway and plopped her cute little ass in one of those rooms hidden back there. He was an idiot. He didn’t deserve her if he couldn’t take better care of her than this. He would never forgive himself if something happened to her.

  The nurse edged open a door and motioned him through. He stepped over the threshold. Where was his wife? There she was, lying flat on the exam table with tearstains on her face. He hurried over.

  A woman in funny purple pajamas drew an intimidating piece of equipment alongside the table so he stepped around it to bend and kiss his wife. “Everything will be fine, baby, you’ll see. Whatever’s wrong, we can fight it together.”

  “Sweetheart, this is Doctor Quinn.”

  He grabbed Allie’s hand and held tight, willing his strength into her. What the hell was wrong with her? Was she in shock? Did she realize she was smiling? That her dimple was winking?

  Whoa. What was that slimy goop the doctor was squirting on her stomach? Since Allie’s eyes were glued to the TV screen on the large contraption, he looked there too. Black and white, squiggly lines and bumps. Something throbbing in the middle of the screen. They really needed to fix that. It was distracting.

  “Do you see it?” Doctor Quinn’s hand deftly guided a narrow wand over Allie’s belly.

  “I see it.”

  See what? The squiggly blob kept moving, weaving in and out of the picture. And now two damn blips pulsed away. Was it a tumor?

  “Two?” The disbelief in Allie’s voice penetrated his conscience.

  Two what? Two tumors? Oh, Jesus.

  “Two.” Doctor Quinn’s nod seemed to confirm the diagnosis. She reached with her free hand and flipped a switch.

  Now, what the hell was that noise? The rapid tempo pulsed quickly, reverberating throughout the room like the soundtrack of an alien space invader movie. She should flip that switch back off. “You’ll be fine, baby, I promise.” He patted Allie’s arm. “I’ll take care of you.” No need to tell her his heart was ready to beat out of his chest. The doctor was certainly taking this calmly. “What can we do about this?”

  Allie finally peeled her face away and back to him. He must be a sight with his sweaty forehead, his shaking hands, because she laughed.

  The doctor lost her own battle with mirth. “I’d recommend car seats?”

  “Car seats?” They were both mad.

  “Jake, listen. Look closely.” Allie peeled out of his death grip on her hand and pointed to the screen.

  He focused on the screen and all of a sudden the blob was familiar. Allie had a Polaroid similar to that hanging on her refrigerator for a while. A hundred years ago. Or nineteen.

  Oh my God!

  Now that he really concentrated, that alien noise took on a familiar rhythmic cadence.

  Oh my God!

  His eyes darted around the room.

  Doctor Quinn gave her rolling stool a shove. He dropped onto it, gaping at a beaming Allie. His mouth opened and then closed seve
ral times before he finally croaked, “A baby?”

  “Almost right. Twins.”

  His eyes flew to the doctor. Then volleyed back and forth between Allie and the screen. “Twins? Oh my God, Allie… babies?”

  Doctor Quinn finished making her marks on the monitor and did a little calculating. “I’d say they’ll be along around the middle of July.”

  July? Shit, that was right around the corner. They had things to do.

  Doctor Quinn wiped the gel from Allie’s belly. “You can get dressed now.” Then she pressed a few more buttons and a photo spit out. She handed it to Jake, then rolled that magical piece of medical equipment to the far side of the room.

  Allie wiggled to rise and he rushed to help her up and off the table. “Can you believe it, Jake? I’m so happy.”

  He bound her to him in an unyielding embrace. He couldn’t get close enough to this woman. Get enough of her. “You always make me happy, Allie. But this is amazing. A gift.”

  Visions danced in his head as he waited for her to dress. His life was bound to have significant changes in the coming years. The doctor wrote a prescription for prenatal vitamins and he tried to pay attention as Allie was instructed about diet and what changes to expect in the near future. When she was finally released he escorted her back through the lobby. A stupid, silly grin was plastered to his face and he didn’t even care. He planned to leave it there for years.

  He pulled the truck out of the parking lot and turned left.

  “Jake, sweetheart, the house is that way.” She pointed over her shoulder, looking out her window.

  “Taking a little side trip. This is big news.” He took her hand, glanced at the diamond ring he finally was allowed to put on her finger not so long ago. Pretty sure his smile was nearly that bright today. His words rang with laughter as he took his eyes off the road and leveled his gaze on her. “Boy, Allie, your definition of change of life is sure different than mine.”

  She frowned, then squirmed in her seat. “You know, Jake. I’m an educated woman. I am not stupid. But there were a few important details about my body that weren’t included in the user’s manual.”