Fatal Knockout (Knockout Series Book 1)

by Bailes, Julie

  Why did you leave? We both said things that night that we regret, and I hate myself for saying what I said. While I know the words that slipped past my lips cut you deeply, I hope they’ve healed over the years. I’m not going to ask for your forgiveness, because I don’t deserve it. I don’t. Your absence has been a constant and almost crippling pain, reminding me of just how much of an inconsiderate asshole I was that night. The thing is, Angel Eyes, I didn’t mean a single word. I never regretted you or our baby, even though I said that I did. And I never blamed you for what those sick and twisted men did to you.

  Frequently, I find myself wondering if you did what I said, but deep down I know you didn’t. I mean, hell, remember when that squirrel turned back at the wrong time? I hit him and kept driving. You begged me to turn around and check on him. And, I did. We went back and I got out of the truck to see him flat as the road we hit him on, but I told you he was going to be okay just to stop your tears. It isn’t in your nature to harm anything, especially our unborn child. Abortion should have never crossed my mind. I was young and stupid, but I never would have let you done it, even if you had listened.

  Financially, we were struggling. We didn’t have insurance and I didn’t have a clue how we were going to pay for prenatal care and delivery. I lost my temper and there are no words that can explain how sorry I am for exploding and running out on you. I was pissed at myself for hurting you and not being the man you deserved. All I needed was a couple of days to figure out how to make it up to you. When I came back to our apartment, you were gone. Why didn’t you wait for me? Why didn’t you call me to come home? Since our first kiss, you captivated me, imprisoned my heart and mind. No one can ever compare to you. I can’t think of anything in this world that means more to me than your love and the love of a child I’ve never met. I love you, Keisha, forever and always. Please, Angel Eyes, call me. My number is still the same.

  Zane

  I should have done what the man kindly asked and stopped reading, but I couldn’t. All watery eyed and rapidly breathing, I fold the letter and place it back inside the card. Keisha only told me that she came to Nashville because her douche of a boyfriend didn’t want her or their baby, but by this letter I just read, I’d say he does want them. Blaze and Keisha led me to believe that Zane is this egocentric prick who doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as us, but his sorrowful and sincere letter makes me believe otherwise. Maybe he’s changed over the years, or maybe he wasn’t an unmindful jerk to begin with? I mean, people say things without thinking.

  Placing the card onto the counter with the rest of the mail, I go up to shower and pass Memaw on my way. “Hey, sweets.” She stops on the stairs and hugs me. “Hey, Memaw. Where are you headed off to?” Squeezing her tight, I can feel that she has lost a bit of weight since Papa’s death. Unless I can convince her to come down to eat, she keeps herself locked away in our guest bedroom. “Lorena, is on her way to pick me up. She needs some help sewing the costumes for a play the children are putting on at church next Sunday. I figured it’d do me some good to get out of the house for a while.”

  “Why are you taking the stairs by yourself? You should’ve called for me.” She lifts her hand and pats the side of my face. “My sweet girl, there’s no need to worry about me. I’ve made my way up and down these steps a few times while you and Blaze were away from the house. Your papa took good care of me, but only because I let him. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself,” she smiles. “How are you feeling?” Memaw looks me over and laughs, “Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that question? Child, you look like you jumped into the swimming pool with all your clothes on, and you’re white as a ghost.”

  My skin is unpleasantly sweaty, as are the clothes I’m wearing. Today’s session with Annaliesa kicked my butt just as much as it did hers. Training with my clients isn’t out of the norm for me, but this growing package inside my belly had me feeling fatigued and nauseous during most of the session. The nausea subsided after a pack of peanut butter crackers, but the tiredness still remains. “Work,” I shrug. “Actually, I’m on my way to shower and to catch a nap before Blaze and Dawson finish with their workout.” She kisses me on the cheek. “You do that. I’ll be home later this evening.” She turns and continues down the steps. “Will you at least hang on to the banister?” I ask her. She does. “Be careful,” I call behind her. “I always am.”

  When Memaw makes it down and closes the door behind her, I rush into my bathroom, turn on the water, and peel my clothes off. I step into the shower and stand underneath the hot mist, allowing the pressure to rejuvenate my fatigued muscles. I wash my body and hair and stay under the water until it begins to cool. I finish with my shower and dry off. As I walk out to my bedroom to dress, I see it’s later than I’d thought. It seems that my much needed nap isn’t going to happen. Feeling bloated, sleepy, and cranky, I dress in a loose fitting cami and pull on a pair of cotton shorts.

  “Uh-oh. What’s wrong?” Blaze asks, standing in the doorway. “What do you mean?” He walks over and sits on the bed. “You’re biting the inside of your cheek. Come here,” he pats the mattress. “Lie down and put your feet in my lap.” I do as he says, and he starts massaging my feet. I close my eyes and let his touch relax me. “I’m tired, is all. I had planned on taking a short nap, but time flew by and I need to make dinner to take with us to the hospital,” I tell him. “Sleep, baby. I’ll take a quick shower and whip something up.” He lifts my feet up and stands.

  I don’t think about refusing his offer, not even for a second. Instead, I turn onto my side and snuggle into my pillow. “When it comes to you, Blaze Benson, I’m the luckiest woman in the world,” I whisper. I don’t hear him walk back over to me, I only feel the warmth of his lips when he kisses the hollow area behind my ear. “God made you for me, Madisyn. Every breath I breathe will be spent loving you. You aren’t the lucky one, baby, I am.”

  Twelve

  Madisyn

  “What’s this?” Blaze asks, picking the red envelope up. “It’s for Keisha.” He sets his protein shake down and rests his hips against the counter. He removes the card and finds the note. Silently, I stand back and study him as he reads. His Adam’s apple bobs with each forced swallow and light red splotches break out across his neck, indicating he isn’t as enthralled with the letter as I was. “Unbelievable,” he sneers, crumbling the paper in his hand and throwing it across the kitchen. “What? Why is it unbelievable, Blaze?” I walk over to pick up the balled up note and straighten it out. “The lies,” he hisses. “Lies? What lies? From what I read, this guy seems genuinely apologetic.”

  He takes a drink of his shake and asks, “Genuine and apologetic?” I nod. He half laughs. “Trust me, baby, those are two traits that selfish shit doesn’t possess.” It’s obvious by his language and tone that Keisha and Zane’s relationship is a sore subject for him. “You say that, but the letter says different. Are you sure you know all the details?” He finishes off his shake and places his cup in the sink. “Sweetheart, the details are irrelevant. He shouldn’t have said the things he said to her and he shouldn’t have left her. Some things are unforgiveable, Madisyn.” The use of my full name is his way of letting me know he’s finished with this conversation. But, I’m not. “Everything is forgivable, Blaze,” I mutter, reminding him that he has a past like everyone else.

  “Dammit, Madisyn. Please, just drop it. Zane isn’t someone I wish to waste my breath on discussing,” he blurts out. He just swore at me. “Really, Blaze?” I scowl at him, and he knows why. He hurries over to me and wraps me in his arms. He runs his fingers through the back of my hair and kisses the top of my head. “I’m sorry, baby. I promise we’ll talk about it, but not right now. Forgive me?” Returning his embrace, I whisper, “Always.” He takes my hand and picks the cooler full of food up from the floor. “Let’s go see our little big man...”

  I’m surprised when we walk into Bentley’s room and see Declan sitting on his bed. Without turning to see if it�
�s us, Declan says, “Hey, brother.” Keisha, Bentley, and Declan are in the middle of playing a game of UNO. “How do you do that?” Blaze asks, setting the cooler down. “UNO,” Keisha exclaims. Declan puts down a wild card. “The color is blue. Your go, Bent.” Keeping his eyes on Keisha, he adds, “Blaze, I don’t have to see you to know it’s you who's behind me. Besides, Maddie’s scent is hard to ignore.” It’s true. The Victoria’s Secret’s Very Sexy perfume I wear is an irresistible scent. “Boom! I win!” Keisha lays down her blue card and throws her hands up in the air. “You’re a cheater! No more dealing for you,” Declan complains.

  Keisha lowers her hands and rests one on Declan’s shoulder. “Aww, someone is a sore loser. It’s okay, though. We can’t all be winners,” she rubs her win in his face. Declan gathers up all the cards and shrugs her hand off his shoulder. He shuffles the cards and says to her, “I’m not a sore loser, princess. You’re just an expert cheater. No one wins five rounds of UNO in a row. No. One.” I used to hope these two would end up madly in love, but not so much anymore. They’re practically brother and sister and fight like cats and dogs.

  Laughing, I go over and open the cooler. “Y’all want to eat before Blaze and Declan’s rubber chickens get cold?” I still don’t understand how they can prep their chicken and reheat it the next day. It’s rubbery and absolutely disgusting. “Aunt Maddie, you didn’t bring me any of that nasty chicken, did you?” Bentley asks me. I go over to his bed and nudge Declan aside, climbing on the bed and cuddling Bent. “What kind of aunt would I be if I did something crazy like that?” He smiles and says, “Not a very good one.” I look over to Keisha and ask her, “Does he have any dietary restrictions, other than the usual?”

  “Nope, the same as always.” I pat Bentley’s leg and get up to get his food. “You love my honey mustard chicken wraps, right?” I unroll the wrap and remove the spinach and cucumber for him. “I do. I love them,” Bentley grins. “I thought so,” Blaze says, handing me the small container of homemade honey mustard sauce. “Thank you, baby.” I wink at him and slap some sauce on the tortilla and roll it back together. “Blaze, do you mind asking the nurses for a few paper plates?” Declan speaks up. “Already taken care of.” He pulls open the drawer next to Bentley’s bed and removes a stack of paper plates and several packs of plastic utensils.

  Blaze hands me a plate for Bentley’s wrap and I place it on the tray and position it over his lap. Keisha adjusts the back of the bed so Bentley can sit upright and eat. He flips through the channels until he finds a cartoon he’s interested in watching. After Bentley is settled and picking at his food, I sit myself in Blaze’s lap and listen to him and Declan talk about his upcoming competition. Periodically, I look over and watch Bentley as he eats. He picks at his food and places extremely small pieces into his mouth. I can tell he wants to eat, but the chemo isn’t allowing him to. I look around the room for that pink basin we’ve used one too many times. I spot one on the stand beside him just as his cheeks puff out. I jolt off of Blaze’s lap, take the basin, and place it under Bentley’s chin.

  Keisha runs around to the other side of the bed and Blaze goes to grab a cool washcloth. As I hold the basin, Keisha rubs his back and holds the cool cloth to his forehead. When Bentley has nothing left inside his small stomach, he relaxes back into the bed and I take the washcloth from his head to wipe around his mouth. I take both the basin and cloth into the bathroom and place them in the sink. I walk out of the bathroom to see Bentley using all the strength he has to lift his hand up to his momma’s face and wipe away her tears. “Don’t cry, Momma,” he whispers. She covers her hand with his and rests her face into his small palm. “I’d give anything to take your place,” she smiles sadly. “Not me, Momma. You’re a girl. Uncle Blaze says boys are stronger than girls.” Arching my brow, I look at Blaze and he shrugs.

  As soon as he finishes speaking, Bentley closes his eyes and drifts to sleep. Blaze gently takes hold of his weeping sister’s arm and urges her off the bed. “I’m going to take Keisha out to get some fresh air. Will you and Declan stay here and keep an eye on Bent?” I nod. “Of course, baby. You never have to ask,” I tell him. “Yeah, baby. You never have to ask,” Declan mimics. “We’ll be back, babies,” he winks at me and leaves the room. Feeling exhausted, I plop back down on the sofa next to Declan. I blow the loose hair out of my face, turn towards him, and smile. Lopsidedly smiling back at me, he bumps my shoulder and asks, “Hard day?” He drapes his arm across my shoulders and gives my arm a soft squeeze. “Something like that,” I rest my head on his arm.

  Declan and I got off to a rocky start. I thought he was a cocky and arrogant douche bag for a few months, but then he grew on me. He isn’t arrogant at all, but he is one of the cockiest men I know. I look up to him like I do Dawson. Some would see us and say his gesture is sensual, but it isn’t. I find it comforting, like a brother consoling his sister. “Chemo sucks,” I yawn. He rests his chin on the top of my head and says, “Yeah, so does cancer.”

  I rest into his side and feel his muscles are rigid. “Something wrong, Dec?” I feel him shake his head. “No. Why?” I shrug. “No reason. It’s just, your body is really tense.” My head rises and falls with his chest as he inhales and releases a deep breath. “It’s nothing to be concerned about, I promise.” I push myself up and sip the water Blaze poured for me earlier. “What about you, huh? Don’t take this the wrong way, because even on your worst days you’re gorgeous, but you didn’t look well earlier.” If my looks resembled the way I felt, I looked awful. I rest my hands on my belly. “I was nauseous most of the day. And, training Annaliesa kicked my butt.” He lowers his eyes to my stomach and places his hand atop of mine. “I’m here for you whenever you need me, Mads. Don’t overdo it. Take care of yourself and enjoy your pregnancy.” I’m going to have to start making notes of all the promises I’ve been making. Lifting my other hand up to cover his, I tell him, “I promise.”

  Thirteen

  Blaze

  I stand outside the octagonand let the cutman apply thin layers of petroleum jelly to various areas of my face. "You listen to me, Benson. This guy is not your friend. He is your enemy. Don’t hold back,” Declan shouts over the crowd. After I’m finished being searched, I step inside the octagon and skim the first row for my girl. Maddie hasn’t been feeling well, so Dawson is joining Declan in my corner. When my eyes land on hers, I grin and mouth, “For you, baby.” She blushes and blows me a kiss.

  Music booms through the arena and the announcer introduces my opponent, Bronson Cain. This asshole is one of the three who escaped my wrath, the one who held my sister down and watched his buddies rape her. I’m going to release 6 years of built up aggression on his ass. He enters through the gate and walks over to his corner. The ref calls us to the center and tells us to fight fair, fight hard, and instructs us to pound gloves. I decide to be the bigger man and hold my gloves out. Bronson curls his lip and shakes his head. Fine by me.

  The bell sounds and he doesn’t take time to observe my stance or anything. At once, he swings a right hook and I duck. When I come back up, he brings his left fist in for an uppercut. He makes contact. He lunges for me and I smack his hand down. I’m light on my feet and not easily gassed. So, I circle him and move my feet in ways I know will distract him. When he lowers his eyes, I land one hell of a left hook to his jaw. A typical fighter would have reacted in some way, but Bronson doesn’t flinch. Instead, he cracks his neck and lets out an ominous laugh. Dude is on something strong, and it ain't steroids.

  I won’t pretend this victory will be an easy one to claim, because it won't. But, I will not be defeated. Bronson and I have trained ourselves to be the ultimate fighters. He has a jaw of steel, and like myself, he has powerful hands and quick strikes. Overall, I’d say he’s somewhat well rounded. But me? I’m completely well rounded, in everything. As fast as lightning, he leaps forward and clenches himself to me. “Clenching? Really?” I spit, tucking my chin beneath his arm and pushing him away. Quickly, he bo
unces back and jabs my ribs. And as if he hasn’t been trained at all, he lets his guard down after he lands his jab.

  Without so much as a second thought, I take advantage of my open target and give several fierce blows to his face, busting his brow open. When he notices the blood trickling down his face, he growls and takes me down, successfully pissing me off at myself. Only chumps let down their guard long enough to get taken down. I’m no chump. Bronson is on top of me, repeatedly punching the sides of my head. “You remember me, don’t you? You killed my brother,” he spits. He’s trying his best to destroy my face, but my guard is up. His hits become slower, less powerful, and he’s gassed. I count the seconds between his blows and find his pace. When I know I have a free second to make a move, I roll us over so he’s on his stomach and I’m on his back.

  “You and your brother raped my sister,” I seethe, left hooking his temple. I could end this fight right now, but I won’t. I’m not finished with him. I stand up and back away. “Get up, Cain,” I command. He uses the fences to help him get to his feet, but as soon as he stands, the bell sounds and alerts us the 1st round is over. As I’m walking to my corner, Bronson shoves me from behind. I turn around, ready to smash his face in, but the ref places himself between us. Nodding his head in Maddie’s direction, he sneers, “That’s your bitch over there, ain’t it? I bet she feels as good as she looks.”