One More Taste

by Melissa Cutler

  “How am I going to face Mom?” he growled, strangling the steering wheel in his grip. “Did you think about that, Dad? How am I going to look at her and not hate her for this? She’s my mother, goddamn it. How can our relationship ever recover?”

  In one mighty swoop, he’d lost his mother, his father, his career. Everything he held dear.

  It was all gone. He hit the steering wheel with his open palm and ground his teeth together, fighting the urge to scream.

  At the lake, Knox stopped at the very same place the truck had backed into the water on Knox’s first day at the resort. Leaving the engine on, he rolled the passenger window down, shifted into neutral, and stepped out. “Is this what you wanted all along, Dad? Is this what you were going for? Holding me back, taking what I cared about? Ruining my fucking life?”

  The words echoed off the surrounding hills. Somewhere nearby, a flock of birds took flight.

  “I worshipped you, old man.” A bubble of hysterical laughter escaped his throat. “And you’re not even my father. You’re my goddamn uncle.”

  With that, he gave the truck a shove, putting all his weight into it until the wheels rolled forward. As it had that first day, the truck gathered momentum down the hill to the lakeshore. It splashed into the water and kept rolling. And like last time, much to Knox’s anger, the wheels snagged on the rocks. Another bubble of hysterical laughter had Knox doubling over. “Fine. I’ll do it myself.”

  He dropped to the ground and took off his boots, then shimmied out of his pants, ready to brave the cold water to finish the job he’d started and push the truck all the way under. He had one foot in the water when the sound of splashing as a fish jumped out of water caught his attention. Phantom.

  Yes.

  That would satisfy his howling thirst for destruction far better than trying to dislodge the truck from the rocks. With his mind nothing but a storm of rage and hurt, he ran up his driveway and into the kitchen. Emily had caught Phantom’s attention with Fritos, so that’s what Knox would use. He found a partial bag in the pantry, then raced to the boathouse and threw his fishing gear into the rowboat.

  It felt good, being at the top of the food chain again. Controlling the outcome, instead of playing the chump. Maybe he’d burn the boathouse down after this, rid it of his dad’s carved name, that symbol of innocent boyhood before betrayal and vengeance had poisoned his life and the lives of his children.

  After so much hard work and planning, Knox had nothing to show for all his ambition. Healy was right; the resort was a money pit, the land beneath it worth more than the business ever could be. It was time to stop fighting fate. It was time to give up on the resort and walk away to start fresh somewhere else. Maybe razing the buildings down to nothing was the answer. Maybe then, Knox would find the peace that had eluded him all his life.

  * * *

  The hospital room’s clock struck eleven, but Emily was anything but tired as she sat in a chair in Carina’s hospital room, holding the most perfect little human being she’d ever seen. Samuel James Decker, born at one p.m. and clocking in at eight pounds right on the dot. Eight pounds that Emily liked to believe she had a lot to do with.

  Throughout the afternoon, she’d kept her distance from Ty, watching him with his family from afar and waiting for them to leave before slipping into Carina’s room. Hence, why she was still there long after visiting hours had ended, rocking in the slider next to Carina’s bed, holding the baby while Carina dozed. The whole world seemed to go quiet, save for the whir of machinery and muffled nurses’ voices from the hall.

  Decker returned to the room with a cup of coffee in a paper cup. He smiled at Emily behind a thick coat of stubble, then crossed the room and perched on the glider arm.

  Emily would never forget the sight of Decker’s tears or the look of fear on his face when the baby’s heartbeat couldn’t be detected. One of the strongest men she’d ever met brought to his knees in terror, and then again in reverence at the sight of his son in the NICU, where he’d been taken for observation, though all his vitals were normal and he clearly had a healthy set of lungs on him.

  Seeing Samuel, and Decker’s reaction as a father, had put Ty’s cruel behavior to Knox into stark focus. There were so many awful fathers in the world that wore their anger and pride like heavy yokes across their shoulders. Decker was a reminder that it didn’t have to be that way. That even out of a dark and toxic situation, there was hope to be found, and good men who took care of their families in gentle, loving ways.

  Decker stroked a finger along Samuel’s cheek. “He’s perfect, isn’t he?”

  “He is.”

  Without warning, Emily’s eyes welled with tears. She sniffed and wiped her cheek against her sleeve.

  Decker pulled a tissue from the box on the bedside table and handed it to Emily. “Everything okay?”

  “Of course. Carina’s healthy, Sam’s healthy. It’s just been an emotional day.”

  “That it has. I haven’t been immune to tears, myself.”

  She offered a weak smile. “I noticed.”

  “I’m crazy about that girl,” he said, nodding to the bed.

  “I noticed that, too.”

  He winked, and for the first time since Carina had gone into labor, his cowboy swagger started to return. “Before Carina and I got together, I thought my life was headed down a very specific path. I thought I knew where I was going, but God had other plans. I never saw it coming.”

  “Saw what?”

  Decker’s gaze glowed as he looked at his son. “Love. How it changes everything. When I realized Carina was the one, it blew all my grand plans to smithereens. And then this guy … I feel like everything I thought I knew about myself and the world is changing again. I didn’t know it was possible to love something this much.”

  Love. It really did change everything. Not too long ago, Emily could have said with certainty where she was going and what it was going to take to get there. But now she knew better. Charles Welk had gotten it slightly wrong. Happiness alone didn’t make the brevity of life bearable. Love did. Holding the baby, knowing she was part of this beautiful creature’s journey was such an honor. But as grateful as she was for being a part of someone else’s story, she wanted her own story. With Knox.

  When Knox had come to Briscoe Ranch, looking every inch the wolf in a Prada suit, she’d been terrified that he’d send her packing from the only home and job that had ever mattered to her. She’d been terrified that he’d blow her grand plans all to hell. She’d never expected to fall in love with the wolf. Her fear had convinced her that loving him meant holding herself back, submitting to the will of another at the forfeit of her independence. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Loving him wasn’t a chain of bondage, but the chance to become more than she could ever be alone. Rather than hold her back, his love helped her fly.

  Knox needed her tonight, more than Samuel did. So, why, then, was she hiding out in Carina’s hospital room instead of going after her own happiness with the man she loved?

  She slowly sat up, then gently transferred the baby to Decker’s arms.

  “Leaving already? Was it something I said?” Decker asked.

  “Yes, actually. In the best possible way.” She kissed his cheek. “I’ve got to go.”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Emily sped through the quiet, dark streets until she hit Dulcet, impatient to find Knox. Not only to help him through whatever emotional storm he was weathering after finding out that Ty was his father, but also to let him know how deeply she’d fallen in love with him. And that she might have the means to save the resort. She couldn’t imagine a better use for her inheritance than to save the place that had been her safe haven and the family that had made her one of their own.

  On Main Street in Dulcet, Emily slowed her car as she passed Haylie’s apartment building. Haylie hadn’t been at the hospital all day, which didn’t bode well. Haylie would have definitely been there for the birth of Carina’s baby, i
f she’d been able. Dread washed through Emily.

  She pulled into the parking lot, then took her phone out of her purse, deliberating on whether or not to reach out to Haylie, despite the late hour. If Haylie were hurt, if Wendell had snapped, given Knox’s news about the offer on the resort, then there existed the very real possibility that Haylie needed immediate help.

  Emily was still considering her options when movement on the second floor caught her eye. She looked up to see Haylie stealing down the stairs, an overnight bag in her hand and one eye looking over her shoulder.

  Relief at the sight of her made Emily’s heart squeeze. She turned off her engine, then jogged to the base of the stairs to meet Haylie.

  Haylie startled at the sight of her. “Emily? What are you doing here?” she whispered. Even in the shadows, Emily could see her black eye and split lip plainly enough.

  “I was passing by, going to Knox’s house. What’s going on?”

  Haylie drew herself up proud and tall. “I’m leaving.”

  The words, said in a tone of pure conviction, sent chill bumps skittering over Emily’s skin. Good for her. “Do you know where?”

  “I have no idea. I’m not coming back.” It had been that way for Emily, too. When she’d snapped, she snapped for good.

  “I’m proud of you. Will you let me help?”

  Haylie cast a wary eye at her apartment door. “I don’t have time. I have to go while he’s still passed out.”

  “I know, but I’ve been where you are. I don’t know what Carina’s told you, but I left home at sixteen and never looked back. I changed my name and started a whole new life.”

  That pulled Haylie up short. “You did?”

  “Which is why I know you can do this because you’re a survivor like me. It’s why I also know what you need to make this work.” Emily held out her car keys. “So, here. Take it. It’s paid for. He’d have a harder time tracing it than your own car. And under the driver’s seat, you’ll find an envelope with everything from my old identity. Rebecca. My ID, a birth certificate, and more. I don’t need the name anymore. I’m not that person. But you could be, if you wanted. If that would help.”

  Nothing had ever felt so right in her life as passing Rebecca to another woman in need, paying it forward.

  “Rebecca,” Haylie murmured as they walked to Emily’s car, as though rolling the idea around in her head.

  Emily grabbed her purse off the passenger seat, then took out her wallet. She handed over all the cash she had, her credit card, and her ATM card. “The code is Carina’s birthday, six digits. In a month or so, I’ll tell the credit card company and bank that I lost them somewhere in my house. That’ll give you time.”

  “You don’t have to give me your money, too.”

  “I really do.” She pulled Haylie into a hug. “You have to go now.”

  In Emily’s arms, Haylie trembled. “Tell my sister I love her. Tell her I’m sorry I can’t be there for Samuel.”

  Emily held her at arm’s length and smiled her best supportive smile. “I’ll let her know. She’ll understand. So will Samuel someday.”

  Haylie tossed her bag into the back seat of Emily’s car, then took the driver’s seat. “I know I can’t stay gone forever because my family’s here, but right now I just need to get out of town.”

  She was right. No one could stay gone forever. The past would only stay buried for so long before it demanded its day in the sun. “I know. Go breathe. Figure out who you are and who you want to be. You’re going to fly, Haylie. I just know it. You’re going to soar.”

  Haylie’s attention drifted to the empty street. “It’s Rebecca now.”

  A knot formed in Emily’s throat. She pressed her lips together, staving off an onslaught of tears. Rebecca Youngston—that daring, big-hearted, wounded girl she’d been—had truly come full circle. Hearing the name on Haylie’s lips was the final piece of the puzzle in Emily’s journey to make peace with her past. “Drive safe, Rebecca. We’ll meet again someday. I know it in my heart.”

  After a last look at her second-floor apartment, Haylie closed the car door and started the ignition. Emily managed to hold back her tears until the Pontiac’s taillights disappeared around a curve in the road down past Main Street.

  Then she let out the breath she’d been holding in a half-laugh, half-cry. She scrubbed her hands over her face, letting the tears fall freely. What a day it had been. And there was one thing left to do. A date with destiny.

  On her phone, she opened the Cab’d app. The nearest driver was only ten minutes away. Must be her lucky night. She summoned it to meet her in front of the firehouse around the corner. No sense in lingering near Haylie’s apartment on the off-chance that Wendell came to.

  Ten minutes later, a red compact car rolled to a stop at the curb in front of the firehouse. Paco rolled down the passenger window and beamed at Emily. “Hey, it’s June’s young friend! I’d do anything for June. How is my favorite lady?”

  Emily opened the passenger door and climbed in. “She just became a great-grandmother tonight.”

  Paco threw up his hands. “How is that possible? She’s in the prime of her youth! A beautiful lady like that can’t be a great-grandmother yet.”

  Guess Granny June hadn’t been exaggerating when she’d said Paco was sweet on her. “You be sure to tell her that next time you see her. I’m sure that’ll win you some points.”

  “Count on it. Where are we headed on this fine evening?”

  Thank you, Paco, for not caring why I’m out on Main Street so late at night. “To June’s grandson’s house, near the resort. You dropped Granny June off there once, if memory serves.”

  He started down the street. “With a smile like hers, I would take that beautiful lady anywhere she asked.”

  Paco never stopped extolling Granny June’s virtues for the entirety of the trip. Which was kind of a relief, as it left Emily free to let her thoughts drift through the events of the day.

  Emily saw Knox before she’d even left Paco’s car. She walked to the dock and watched him drift on the lake in his rowboat, his back hunched, his head bowed, and sitting ever so still. She ached for him. Of all the people hurt today, Knox had sustained the biggest blow. Carina and her baby were safe and healthy, and now Haylie would be safe, too. But the damage done to Knox by the lie of his parentage and Ty’s rejection of him as a son couldn’t ever be undone.

  “Knox,” she called gently.

  He raised his head and looked at her for a long time. She half expected him to tell her to leave so he could be alone, but he didn’t. After a while, his hands reached out and took the oars, and then he brought the boat to shore.

  It wasn’t until the boat had reached the dock that she saw a crumpled up Fritos bag on the bottom of the boat next to a gaffe and net. “Were you looking for—”

  “Phantom.” Anguish oozed from the word. “I was going to kill it. I was so angry, I couldn’t think past the need to destroy every link to my dad,” he said, not meeting her eyes. “But then Phantom surfaced and he just sat there looking at me, waiting, like he knew what was coming and wasn’t going to fight it. And I just … I couldn’t. I can’t let this be how it ends for me and my dad. I don’t know how to make peace with all of this, but I do know that I can’t erase him from my past or my heart. Killing Phantom would have just been another waste of life.”

  He turned his stricken eyes on her. “I’m in love with you, Emily. I don’t have anything to offer you, certainly not any kind of secure future, but you’re the only true thing in my life right now. You’re the only thing that isn’t a lie or a waste. You, and the way I feel about you.”

  Nothing that had happened in the last month had been a waste—not Emily quitting, not Knox giving Haylie a job, and not even him learning the truth about Ty. “I’m in love with you, too. But you’re wrong. Getting closer to the truth and discovering who we really are is never a waste. Love is never a waste.”

  Nodding, he closed his eyes as a to
rrent of tears fell over his cheeks. Emily stepped into the boat. She threaded her fingers into his hair and kissed every one of his tears away.

  “Ty is my real father.”

  She’d been there, heard it all, which he knew. Which meant this announcement was to himself as much as anything. Perhaps it was the first time he’d voiced it. The truth sounded so different, so much more final, when said out loud.

  “You believe them about that?”

  “There’s no reason not to. Tomorrow, I’m going to go see my mom. I need to know the whole truth about what happened before I can try to forgive her.”

  Emily gathered his hands into hers and cradled them. “You will forgive her, in time. If not for her, then for you, so the resentment won’t eat you up inside.”

  “You know, when I think about it, that was a lesson my dad never taught me, and one he never learned, either. I had to learn it the hard way, coming to Briscoe Ranch,” Knox said. “Resentment will eat you up if you let it fester.”

  “My parents both died. That’s what I learned last week when I was gone. I went to their apartment in Chicago. I needed to see them for myself, to remember that they were humans and not these grandiose monsters that I’d built them up to be. The doorman recognized me. He’d been waiting for me all these years so he could hand over a message from their lawyer. My father went first. Of a heart attack. My mom two years ago of cancer.”

  He looked at her a long time. “I’m so sorry.”

  About her mother, so was Emily. But even that didn’t compare to the relief she felt at being freed. “All this time, I’ve kept one eye looking over my shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I feel like, now, I can finally be at peace. I have nothing to run from anymore.”

  “Do you still want to be Emily Ford?”