Rusty Logic

by Robin Alexander

  “I’ve yet to see anyone hysterical, and I’m glad to hear that you’re fully capable of doing your job,” Kirsten said and raised her brow. “That is what you’re telling me, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah,” Mitch said and walked out.

  When the door slammed behind him, Tasha said, “You should’ve hit him in the mouth with your flashlight for talking to you like that.”

  “Well, he’s back on the street, and I’m going home instead of carting him to the hospital. I’m smart, that’s why I’m chief.” Kirsten walked over to the dispatch desk on her way out. “Tash, don’t tell anyone what you just saw and heard.”

  Tasha opened up her desk drawer and pulled out a tin. “I guess I’m just gonna have to eat this instead.” The lid had her name on it, and when she opened it, Kirsten could see the box was full of peanut brittle. “I saw Bryan’s mom in the grocery store the other day and told her how much I enjoyed her treats. They’ve been coming ever since. But this stuff is filled with too much sugar, and a smart woman like you knows better than to eat it.”

  Kirsten licked her lips. “I’m feeling a little…stupid at the moment.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  “We’re not getting a bite on our bait, are we?” Stella said as she stared through her binoculars.

  Mona was sitting on the sofa thumbing through a sale circular Stella had gotten in the mail. “No, but I admire your persistence.”

  “That’s one of the keys to good detective work, the other is patience. The nitwit across the street is lacking in that department. She’s good and mad at a board that she can’t seem to drive into the ground.” Stella chuckled. “She just threw it and her hammer.”

  Mona got up and looked out the window as Rusty picked up the hammer and started beating the ground with the claw. “What’s she doing?”

  “Digging a hole, I think.”

  As Mona stood there, she saw Rusty’s neighbor Susan Daigle walk outside with her poodle. “Poor Henry, he’s so old he can barely walk. Susan’s had that dog forever.”

  “Missing half his fur, can’t lift his leg to pee, and have you smelled him lately?” Stella lowered her binoculars. “I swear he’s already dead.”

  “She loves him, though.” Mona narrowed her eyes. “That’s Tom Portman, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah, he’s out every night about this time, and Susan interestingly enough chooses to walk Henry when Tom passes by.”

  Mona smiled. “Maybe she likes him. She’s been single for a long time, and it would be nice to see her with a good man.”

  “Well, Tom’s not him.” Stella tapped the window with her finger. “Ten to one, that’s our peeper.”

  “Tom?” Mona said, completely taken aback. “He’s as sweet as he can be, and he takes care of his mother. Any man who would put his own life on hold to nurse a sick parent is a saint in my book.”

  “That’s how you see it, but Tom is a fifty-something-year-old man living with his momma. He’s got no job, and he walks every night. A man like that knows who keeps their blinds open and who doesn’t.”

  “I took care of my mother before she died, and if you remember, I had to quit my job at the bank. It was stressful and tiring. I took a lot of walks during that time too, because I just needed to breathe. If I had not had your help, I would’ve had a nervous breakdown.”

  Stella looked surprised by Mona’s remarks. “Your momma wasn’t hard to deal with. If you want to talk about saints, now she was one.”

  “That’s not what I mean,” Mona said with a sigh. “Momma was sweet, but she wasn’t a child that I could tell what to do. She had her own will, and no matter how many times I told her to wake me at night when she had to go to the bathroom, she wouldn’t. I set a bell by her bed, but she’d never ring it, and she took so many spills I thought surely she would break a hip. And when she really got bad off, the idea of her death and how I would cope with it hung over my head like a dark cloud. Some days, I wished for it, so the nightmare would be over and stop her suffering. Then I’d feel incredibly guilty for wanting that. My heart goes out to Tom, and I’ve offered to sit with Vanessa to give him a break, but he never takes me up on the offer. He says she’s bed bound now, and she doesn’t want anyone to see her like that.”

  “Don’t light a candle for St. Tom just yet. God gave me a sense about these things, and my money is on him being the peeper. Look at that fool across the street. She’s digging like a dog.”

  *******

  Rusty had finished the fence section, and she was bound and determined to erect it that night. She felt like an idiot because it had never occurred to her that she’d need posts to attach it to. She had two pieces of wood that would be suitable but no shovel, and the hardware store was closed. She’d made some headway with the hammer, but with proper tools, the holes could’ve been dug in a matter of minutes.

  “Well, hello there.”

  Rusty followed the female voice to a woman on the sidewalk. She was joined by a man dressed in pair of long baggy shorts and a gray T-shirt. The last thing Rusty wanted to do was meet someone new while covered in sweat and dirt. “Hi, how’re you?” she managed with a slight smile.

  “I’m Susan Daigle, your neighbor, and this is Tom Portman, he lives a few blocks away. I wanted to come over and say hello sooner, but I’ve had a bad head cold and haven’t been up to socializing.”

  “I’m Rusty Martinez, and I know I look insane right now, but I just really wanted to get this project finished today.”

  “Nice to meet you, Rusty,” Susan replied, and Tom nodded with a warm smile. Susan moved closer. “What’re you doing?”

  “I’m trying to dig a hole, but I don’t have a shovel, and the store is closed.”

  Susan gazed at the section of picket fence. “Oh, you’re gonna do what someone did down the street. I’ve always admired that because they dress it up for each holiday. I have a shovel, let me go get it.”

  “Oh, don’t go to the trouble,” Rusty said, but Susan was already heading back across her lawn.

  Tom spoke very softly. “This house has always been very plain, it’ll be pretty once you add some flavor. I like the trellis. What do you intend to plant by it?”

  “I haven’t given it much thought.” Rusty shrugged. “I’m not really a garden person, but I do enjoy building things.”

  “Wisteria is very lovely, it’s a vine-like plant. The flowers remind me of tags of grapes, they come in white and purple. That would be pretty on the trellis.” Tom looked down and said, “Hello, Henry, I see you’ve decided to join us. This is Susan’s dog. He’s very old and almost blind.” Tom pulled something out of his pocket and knelt. Henry sniffed at his palm and ate whatever was in it. “I always bring him a treat when I walk.”

  “You spoil him rotten,” Susan said with a laugh as she returned with the shovel and handed it to Rusty. “Use this as long as you want. It’ll be a while before I feel like working in my yard again.”

  “Thank you very much,” Rusty said as she took it. “I wasn’t getting very far with the hammer.”

  “I would love to help, but I have a bad back,” Tom said as he watched Rusty begin to dig.

  “That’s all right, I’ll have this done in no time,” Rusty said as she eagerly dug into the soil.

  “Well, I need to get back inside. The mosquitoes are bad tonight.” Susan smiled. “Rusty, drop by sometime, and we’ll have coffee.”

  Rusty didn’t look up, her sole focus was on digging. “Sure. Thanks. Nice meeting y’all.”

  Tom simply said good night and continued on with this stroll.

  *******

  The one good thing about exercise was that it made for a good night’s sleep, Rusty thought as her head hit the pillow and her body felt like it was molding into the bed. She awoke around three in the morning in the exact same position. After a trip to the bathroom, she fell right back to sleep and straight into dreamland.

  She found herself standing in front of the frame of the house, and the tree besi
de it was sporting a few green leaves, and the branches were full of buds. Rebirth had begun, and Rusty marveled at it as Justine’s form slowly emerged from the fog. “Look, something’s happening,” Rusty said excitedly.

  Justine gazed up at the tree and frowned. “There’s so much more to be done.”

  “Did I make this happen?” Rusty asked in amazement as she gazed at the tree.

  “You did,” Justine said.

  “How?”

  “You opened.”

  Rusty shrugged. “Opened what?”

  “I think it was your mouth.”

  Rusty whirled around and found Neil walking around inside the frame of the house. “What’re you doing here?”

  “I don’t know,” he said and pounded on one of the supports. “This doesn’t feel sturdy. You should really work on this.”

  Rusty shook a finger at him. “Don’t you start.” She returned her attention to Justine. “I want you to answer my question. How did the leaves get here?”

  “I did, and you refused to listen. You have all the answers.”

  “If I did, I wouldn’t be asking questions, now would I? You make me so mad.” Rusty regretted her sharp tone as Justine’s figure began to fade. “All right—wait, I’m sorry. I need answers, please!”

  Rusty whirled around. “Neil, what do you—”

  Neil patted a chair. “Come sit down, get into your head. Question your motives, tap into your feelings.”

  “Where the hell did you get a chair?” Rusty asked, completely flummoxed.

  “Rusty, don’t focus on me. What do you need? What do you want?”

  “I want to know how I got the damn leaves on the tree!”

  “In so many ways, you’re still like a child,” Justine said, but she was nowhere to be seen. “So stubborn and demanding.”

  “Oh,” Rusty ground out. “You’re a fine one to talk. Where do you think I got it from? You made me. Not only did you give birth to me and fill me with your traits, you ground in anything you thought I was missing! I’m so angry! You make me so mad!”

  Neil patted the chair and spoke in the placating tone Rusty hated. “Come sit down. I’ll tell you all you need to know. I’ll tell you how to fix everything that’s wrong with you.”

  Rusty clenched her fists. “I’ve got this. I can do it all by myself.”

  As the words flew out of Rusty’s mouth, one of the new leaves shriveled and fell to the ground. Rusty knelt and picked it up as gently as she could; it turned to powder and sifted through her fingers.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Rusty awoke in a bad mood and was astounded that a stupid dream could affect her that way. Normally, she felt disconcerted and confused by them, but as she made her way to the coffeepot that morning, she was furious with her mother and Neil. Poor Neil had chosen the wrong day to call and check on her.

  Rusty snatched the phone up when it rang and scowled at the name on the ID. “Yes?” she practically barked when she answered.

  “Hey, good morning,” Neil chirped happily. “Guess what.”

  “One of Jaqueline’s giant breasts you bought her exploded and blew off her pointed chin.”

  “Rusty,” Neil said aghast. “That was mean.”

  “What is your news?”

  Neil was silent for a moment, then said, “Our response times have been up for a solid week, and we’ve broken a record without bonus incentives. And we did that without one accident or speeding ticket. Isn’t that wonderful?”

  Actually, it was really great news. Rusty had always pointed out that their service was the key to success, which was why she hovered over dispatch, personally making sure they didn’t allow any of the drivers to dawdle. At any other time, she would’ve been thrilled, but that they’d reached this milestone without her darkened her already sour mood. “What about sales, what’re they doing?”

  “Let me pull up those numbers.” Neil was quiet for a moment. “They look to be on par with the previous week’s numbers and last month’s accounting.”

  “Par isn’t acceptable. If the drivers were networking while out in public, sales numbers would be higher, so it sounds to me like they cut one integral part of the process, which made their response times appear more expedient. That nullifies the supposed record they broke. These are the things I look at, Neil. All of the numbers have to be considered before you can say you have a successful whole.”

  Neil sounded like a child when he said, “I was trying to give you good news, so you wouldn’t worry about being out of the loop right now.”

  “Well, now you know why I stay stressed all the time. What appears to be good news on the surface really isn’t.”

  “Maybe…you should learn to celebrate and be thankful for small victories too. You might be happier.”

  Neil’s words incensed Rusty. “You don’t get it. After all this time, you still don’t understand how to operate a business. You add to my stress.”

  “I’ll let you go then. Enjoy your day,” he said and ended the call.

  Rusty poured herself a cup of coffee, shoved several sticks of nicotine gum into her mouth, and sat at her table seething. Her anger had shifted in the matter of a few heartbeats; she wasn’t mad at Neil, she was pissed off at herself. “I’ve become my mother,” she said aloud and scrubbed a hand over her face.

  She’d never been allowed to celebrate a victory. Justine had taught her that there never really was a bright side, it was only an illusion masking failure somewhere else. Good report cards or a high mark on a school project were nothing to gloat over. There was a part of Rusty that hated her for that. Rusty would cook dinner for them, and some of the meals she thought were delicious. She eagerly sought Justine’s approval, and what she got was, “You can always do better.”

  The realization that she’d made Neil feel that way, probably for years, scorched her heart. She’d become what she despised and wondered why he had put up with her as long as he had. Rusty’s pride drained out of her as she picked up her phone and called Neil.

  His “hey” sounded dull when he answered.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Rusty’s words hung in the air between them, then Neil asked, “For what?”

  “For treating you like an idiot,” Rusty said with a sigh.

  “Jaqueline has been hounding me to tell you this for a long time. I…I think I should say it now. Jaq and I didn’t meet by accident. I sought her out when I was looking for a life coach to whip me into shape. I was her client. I couldn’t keep any weight on, and my hair was falling out. I’m the only bald man in the Bauer family. When I found Jaqueline, I was an emotional wreck. I saw myself as a failure. I had a college degree in business, and next to you, I was just a bumbling idiot.”

  “Neil, that’s not true.”

  “Let me say this. I have to as part of my own recovery. It’s not your fault I felt that way, it was mine. I, of course, look up to my dad and my brother, but it was your approval that I needed the most, and I never got it. In the long run, it emasculated me, stole all my confidence, and I ended up taking drugs for depression. They didn’t do anything but mask the problem.” Neil’s voice sounded shaky as he said, “Jaqueline helped me understand that I’d pinned my self-worth on someone who would never truly be pleased, even with herself. I’m working through that now, and I think we have that problem in common. You were raised by someone who never really had her own happiness or self-satisfaction. That’s why she tore you down as often as she could, so you would be just as miserable as she was.”

  The cold truth swept through Rusty and chilled her to the bone, but she couldn’t open her mouth to acknowledge what Neil had said.

  “I know you don’t like to hear me say this, but I love you. I think you’re a lot stronger than your mother ever was. I believe you can learn and choose to be happy. I hope you’ll take this time to confront all the issues she caused you and turn them around for your own personal success. You just have to decide that you’re worth the effort because I know you are.
”

  Tears filled Rusty’s eyes and ran down her cheeks.

  “I’m going to let you go now because I know you need to mentally digest all I’ve said. You may feel alone, but just know I’ll always be on your side.”

  When the tone sounded indicating the call had ended, Rusty set the phone on the table and buried her face in her hands.

  *******

  The night shift had been quiet, and there was nothing new to report at the shift change meeting. Kirsten went to her parents’ house once again and learned that Mona was sleeping in. Tal set another box of doughnuts on the table as Kirsten poured herself a cup of coffee.

  “When Momma finds out what you’ve really been eating for breakfast, you’re gonna be in trouble, buddy.”

  Tal wagged a finger at Kirsten. “That’s why I’m counting on you to help me eat the evidence.”

  “I’m only good for one today,” Kirsten said as she grabbed a doughnut. “I’ve already put on an extra pound or two, and I am not sliding down that sugary slope.”

  “I held court in the bakery this morning. Everyone was clambering around me wanting to know about the peeper. I told them we had it all under control, and we’d be making an arrest soon.”

  “You said…told…we? Dad, we aren’t anywhere near making an arrest. We have nothing to work with.”

  “Arrest Noah,” Tal said casually. “He may not be guilty of this, but that boy is responsible for most of the theft in this town. You find his cache of goodies that he has stashed and add the peeping charge to his list of crimes. Everyone will be satisfied, and things will go back to normal around here.”

  “Is that how you handled things when you were chief?” Kirsten asked numbly.

  “It’s how things are done to keep the peace and Ben in the mayor’s office.”

  “Let’s say I did that and everyone went back to feeling comfortable, leaving their doors unlocked, and the real guy rapes someone. How am I supposed to live with that?”

  “You just said you don’t have anything.” Tal dipped his doughnut into his coffee. “You don’t have anything because there’s nothing to have. The guy you’re talking about doesn’t exist. Noah started this whole ball rolling by going over to the Jessups’ and messing with their daughter.”