Rusty Logic

by Robin Alexander

Kirsten backed toward the door. “I’m gonna mess up some things too, and the only one I’m gonna listen to is someone who’s been in my shoes. Can you forget that I’m your daughter and the old-school thinking when I come to you for your advice?”

  “No.” Tal shook his head and smiled wryly. “You’re always gonna be my baby girl, but I won’t be jaded by my own failures. I won’t try to bring you down to my level to make myself feel better.”

  “Thanks…Chief.”

  Tal smiled. “You’re welcome, Chief.”

  *******

  Mona met Kirsten at the door as she walked in. “What happened?”

  “In a nutshell, Dad’s mad at himself for how he’s handled things with Ben. In his own way, he apologized. We had a good talk, and he needs time alone to sort himself out.”

  “Did you hug and kiss afterward?”

  Kirsten hung her keys on the hook and shook her head. “It wasn’t that kind of thing.”

  “What do you mean?” Mona asked with her hands on her hips.

  “It was a chief-to-chief talk, there’s no hugging after one of those. It was good, though. He’ll be back to bitching about cereal breakfasts in no time.” Kirsten frowned at Rusty. “Why’re you wearing sunglasses in the house?”

  “It’s one of those bright days, you know,” Rusty said with a shrug.

  “Oh, honey, you’re gonna have to tell her what you did.” Mona smiled sadly. “You may need to go to the hospital.”

  Rusty took off the glasses, and the white of one of her eyes was blood red and teary. Kirsten walked over to her and cupped her face. “Honey, what happened to you?”

  “I…um…just one board. I have all my fingers.”

  “While I was helping Stella with the book she’s writing, Rusty sneaked out to the garage and used her new saw. She forgot to put on her safety glasses, and something got into her eye. I’ve flushed it, but she’s rubbed it and made it worse.”

  Chapter Thirty-two

  “This is what life is going to be like with you, isn’t it?” Kirsten stroked Rusty’s forehead with her thumb.

  “Are you smiling? I can’t tell.”

  “I can’t help but smile at your crazy ass. Does it still hurt?”

  “Not anymore, those numbing drops are awesome.”

  Rusty was lying in bed with her eyes closed, and Kirsten kissed the lid of the good one. The other was covered with a patch. “You’re gonna be uncomfortable for a few days until the scratch on your cornea starts to heal.”

  “Is my patch sexy?”

  Kirsten laughed. “Not even a little.”

  Rusty laughed, as well, but kept her good eye closed. “Tell me about what happened with your dad today. Did it really go as well as you said?”

  “I was expecting a yelling match, and I was ready for it when I got there.” Kirsten continued to rub Rusty’s forehead gently. “I had a long list of things I was going to throw at him, but he congratulated me and said he was proud of me, and everything I stored up evaporated.”

  “Is he your hero again?”

  Kirsten thought for a moment. “He might have a toe back on the pedestal. He admitted the things he did wrong and didn’t make any excuses. You wish you could have a talk like that with your mom, don’t you?”

  “No, because I don’t think she’d be willing to be that honest with herself or me. The more I think about it, I don’t think she knew how to be any different than she was. I can’t change the past, I can only change me. I can be a good person.”

  Kirsten frowned as she studied Rusty’s face. “You are a good person. I don’t know who you were before you came here, but you’re one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. Anyone who would genuinely befriend Stella McGinnis is a saint. You’re my best friend too.”

  Rusty didn’t smile. “I can be mean when I get mad.”

  “So can I, most everybody can. That still doesn’t make you a bad person. Rusty, seriously, you’re not your mother.”

  “Morale improved when I left the office. That keeps bouncing around in my brain.”

  “When you go back, be this woman.” Kirsten tapped Rusty’s chest with her finger. “They’ll start falling in love with you just like I am.”

  Rusty did smile then. “I’m falling for you too,” she slurred.

  “And the pain pill is kicking in,” Kirsten said with a laugh and kissed Rusty’s lips gently. She switched off the light and snuggled close to Rusty. “Sweet dreams, sweetie.”

  *******

  Rusty found herself in the dreamscape again, but it had changed completely from the first time she saw it. The trees were green, and there was tall grass waving in the breeze, and wildflowers sprouted up all around her as she walked toward the house. The two-story brick home was complete and loomed above her. The windows were all open, and Stella and Neil smiled and waved. Rusty stopped to gaze up at them when the front door opened, and Kirsten smiled at her and said, “Come inside, baby, you belong here.”

  Rusty knew what Kirsten said was true. She took her first step and was elated to find she could finally enter the house she’d built. She’d almost reached the door and looked over her shoulder and watched as Justine emerged from the mist.

  “I’m going in now,” Rusty said. “One day, I’ll let you in too.”

  Justine stared back at her, and Rusty wasn’t sure if she saw anger or disappointment in her eyes. She turned and took Kirsten’s outstretched hand. Rusty looked around and marveled at seeing all the things she loved. Her first bike caught her eye as a stray cat that she tried to keep and Justine made her get rid of rubbed against her leg. Songs that reminded her of Kirsten played somewhere softly.

  Kirsten touched Rusty’s face tenderly. “This is where you belong. Do you believe that?”

  “I do. I’m home,” Rusty said with a nod.

  Behind the music, Rusty heard a soft steady thudding, and she looked around, unsure of where it was coming from. She wondered if the others heard it too. When the realization of what it was hit her, she woke up.

  “Baby, wake up,” Rusty said and nudged Kirsten.

  “No sex till after six,” Kirsten mumbled into the pillow.

  Rusty sat up and switched on the lamp. “I had the dream, I know what it means. You have to wake up.”

  Kirsten rolled over and squinted at Rusty. “I don’t like you very much right now.” She whimpered like a child.

  “Listen,” Rusty said excitedly as she straddled Kirsten’s waist and sat staring down at her with one eye. “You, Neil, and Stella have kept telling me to come inside, but I couldn’t. Now I know why.”

  “Why?” Kirsten asked as she slowly emerged from her sleepy stupor.

  “I think the frame was built when Mom and I lived with my grandma. I knew she loved me, but then, she died, and it was just me and Mom. I spent my life needing Mom’s approval, just a hint of affection, and I never got it. I’m taking care of me now, I’m dealing with my issues, and I’m loving myself. The house symbolizes my heart, and I’m inside now too.”

  “Oh, sweetie, that’s amazing. Don’t touch the patch. I’m so happy that you realize you deserve to be loved, especially by you. Stop touching the patch.”

  Rusty’s face contorted. “It burns and itches at the same time, I gotta rub.”

  “No,” Kirsten cried as she grabbed Rusty’s hands, and they began to wrestle. “Don’t make me cuff you.”

  “Any other time, that might sound appealing, but not now. Where are the numbing drops?”

  Kirsten rolled and pinned Rusty to the bed. “They’re on the nightstand. I’m getting them now, don’t touch anything.”

  Rusty didn’t listen and tore the patch from her eye when Kirsten reached for the drops. “Put them in, do it now, or I’m gonna rub.”

  Kirsten grimaced as she squeezed the drops into Rusty’s eye. “It’s still so red.”

  “Ow, shit, that stings. It feels like…ah, so good. I have to call Neil now.”

  “Sweetie, it’s almost three in the mornin
g. Don’t—” Kirsten clamped her lips together when Rusty picked up her phone and pushed a button. “I have to put the patch back on.”

  “It makes my eye sweat. Neil! Guess what? I love me.”

  “Are you all right?” he asked, sounding as though he was drunk.

  “I’m great. Didn’t you hear what I just said?”

  “Have you been drinking?”

  “Not a drop. I just woke up from a dream, and I was in my heart that was a house, and you were there and Kirsten and Stella. I could hear it beating, it was so amazing, and when I woke up, I understood what my brain has been trying to tell me in my sleep. It’s okay to love myself, and I do. And you’ve always loved me, I think that’s why you were the first person in the house. You’re always going to be there, Neil, because I love you too. I scratched my cornea, and Kirsten is trying to put a patch I don’t want on my eye.”

  “I love you too, Rusty. Now what did you eat before you went to bed? Did it have mushrooms in it, and if so, where’d you get them?”

  Rusty looked at Kirsten with one eye. “What did we have for dinner?”

  “Chicken,” Kirsten said as she gently put the patch in place.

  “Chicken and dumplings, that’s right. I don’t remember if it had mushrooms.”

  “Can I—do you mind if I speak to Kirsten a moment?”

  “He wants to talk to you,” Rusty said as she stuck the phone in Kirsten’s face.

  “Hey, Neil, Rusty just had an epiphany after she figured out what her recurring dream meant, and she’s really excited. She’s rocking one eye and apparently didn’t believe me when I told her it was three a.m. I’d like to say that the pain pill she took is responsible for this call, but well…you know her.”

  “Explain the patch and the pill, please,” Neil said politely.

  Kirsten sighed. “Well, Rusty has bought herself a table saw, and she decided to use it without safety glasses, and she got a sliver of wood in her eye, then she rubbed and scratched her cornea.”

  “I see. You’re a very special person, thank you for taking care of her.”

  “It’s all my pleasure—baby, where’re you going?”

  “I’m hungry,” Rusty said as she strolled out of the bedroom stark naked. “Bring me Neil when you’re done chatting.”

  Kirsten got up and grabbed Rusty’s robe along with a T-shirt and a pair of shorts. “She’s very special, too, and unique,” she said into the phone as she made her way to the kitchen. “I’m gonna give you back to her now. Good morning.”

  “Hey, Kirsten?” Neil said quickly.

  “Yes?”

  “Don’t let her use the saw with one eye or operate any machinery.”

  “You have my word, bud,” Kirsten said with a smile and handed Rusty the phone. She held the robe, and Rusty slipped her arms into it. “What do you want to eat?”

  “Pancakes,” Rusty said and put the phone to her ear. “Hey, Neil, do you want to hear about the dream?”

  Kirsten pulled on her shorts and her shirt with a smile. “Pancakes it is,” she said with a laugh.

  Epilogue

  Rusty smiled as she saw the sign welcoming her to Ancelet Bay. She enjoyed her weekly trips to the office in Baton Rouge, but her heart beat happily when she returned home. Her life had completely changed in the matter of a year. She was in a committed relationship with the love of her life, had a new family, and a sense of purpose that far outweighed being the CEO of a successful company.

  Love had soothed the scars left by her mother and had given Rusty the ability to view her in a different light. She’d come to believe that Justine had reached out to her in those last few years of her life because she did care but was unable to show it. Rusty figured that her mother didn’t know how to be vulnerable or was simply too afraid. Justine had taught her many lessons in life, but the most important was how not to live. Unlike Justine, Rusty had opened wide the doors and windows of her heart and eagerly let in anyone who wanted to enter.

  As she did with every return to Ancelet Bay, she rode past the house on Chestnut Street. There was a new tenant inside, and he was enjoying the fruits of her labor. He decorated the section of picket fence for every season, and the trellis was overgrown with a vine that almost obscured the wood from sight. Whenever Rusty gazed at the small wood-framed house, she saw it as her birthplace; a new woman was born there, and she’d always be fond of it.

  Rusty slowed to a stop when Stella waved and rolled down her window. “I’m glad you’re back from gallivanting, we have a new mission,” Stella said excitedly.

  “What’s that?” Rusty asked with a grin.

  “Somebody is stealing all the vegetables out of Cindy Orton’s garden. She wants us to do a stakeout.”

  “A security camera could handle that,” Rusty said.

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought, but she’s willing to pay us in cakes. You ain’t lived until you’ve taken a bite of her white wedding cake. You, me, and Mona, a bag of doughnuts, a thermos full of coffee, it could be a good time.”

  Rusty nodded with a smile. “All right, let me know when you want to do it. I’m not wearing a coat, though.”

  “One day, you’re gonna learn they come in handy when you have to dive into a bush,” Stella said as she shook a finger. “Wear the hat I bought you at least.”

  “I will, but only because Kirsten thinks it’s sexy on me.”

  Stella screwed up her face. “Okay, go home.”

  “See you later,” Rusty said with a laugh as she continued on.

  Mitch for Mayor signs peppered the yards on almost every street Rusty drove down. He was way ahead in the polls, and as Mitch’s campaign manager, Rusty had Tal Flyte mostly to thank for that. He’d personally talked to nearly everyone in town on Mitch’s behalf, and in doing so, gained back a lot of the respect he’d lost.

  Rusty drove past Kirsten’s place and continued down the paved road until it gave way to gravel and wound into the woods. In the distance, she saw the house of her dreams slowly taking shape. The two-story structure had many windows and was surrounded by work trucks and one police car. Rusty parked beside it and got out.

  Kirsten appeared in the doorway wearing the same smile she had in the dream and said, “Welcome home, baby.”

  “It’s good to be back. I missed you,” Rusty said with a quick kiss.

  Kirsten’s gaze swept over Rusty’s business attire, and she cleared her throat. “You are some sexy in that suit, but I have to say I think you’re gorgeous when you’re in a pair of shorts and one of my old T-shirts and your hair’s a mess.”

  “I’ll look like that this afternoon when you get home from work.” Rusty frowned and asked, “What’ve you done?” when she saw a bandage on Kirsten’s left hand.

  Kirsten tucked it behind her back and looked skyward. “Dad and I were installing a countertop, and I put my paw in the wrong place.”

  “This is what life is going to be like with you, isn’t it?” Rusty said with a smile. “One injury after another.”

  “You’re one to talk. I’ve been to the emergency room with you twice since the eye injury. You try to do too much at one time, and that’s what gets you into trouble.” Kirsten grinned. “But you keep my life interesting. Oh, hey, come see what they did out back.”

  Rusty took Kirsten’s good hand, and they walked around the side of the house. She inhaled sharply and said, “That’s it, that’s the shape of my dream meadow.”

  When she’d sold her condo and they’d purchased the land for the new house, the contractor had cleared some of the property and made it into a dirt square. Kirsten had paid close attention to the description of Rusty’s dreamscape and had someone come in and reshape the tree line into coves, so it wasn’t all sharp angles.

  “After the construction is finished, the weather will be cooler, and I’ll plant rye grass. It’ll grow tall and bright green even in the winter,” Kirsten explained. “In the summer, I won’t even mow the backyard if you want it to look wild and untamed.�
��

  “You made my dream come true,” Rusty breathed out, truly touched. “And I thought I couldn’t love you any more than I do.”

  Kirsten shrugged. “Well, you’re the manifestation of all of my dreams and hopes, I thought I’d return the favor, my love.”

  Rusty threw her arms around Kirsten and kissed her. “Thank you. I did a lot of thinking on the drive home, and I think we should consider building a motherin-law suite, so we can take care of your parents when they get too old to be on their own.”

  “They’re your folks too, now,” Kirsten said with a warm smile. “That’s so incredibly sweet, you thinking about them like that, but there’s no hurry, they’re both still young.”

  Rusty kissed Kirsten again. “Well, I was also thinking about Stella.”

  Kirsten’s smile slid off her face. “What?”

  “Your momma says all the time that Stella’s kids will stick her in a nursing home when she gets too old to take care of herself. That’s why she and I keep such a close eye on her. If she has a place to stay and people to care for her, she won’t have to go anywhere else.”

  “She’ll bring flamingos, have you considered that?” Kirsten asked with a pained expression.

  “Uh-huh,” Rusty whispered as she nuzzled Kirsten’s cheek. “I love you.”

  “I love you too, with all my heart.” Kirsten closed her eyes and sighed. “I will do anything for you.”

  “Will you wear the hat that Stella—”

  “No, okay almost anything. We’ll build the suite and stick Stella’s mouthy butt in it when the time comes,” Kirsten said with a laugh.

  Rusty held on to Kirsten and sighed happily as she rested her chin on her shoulder and gazed at the dreamscape slowly becoming reality. “You make all my dreams come true.”

  About the Author

  Robin Alexander is the author of the Goldie Award-winning Gloria’s Secret and many other novels for Intaglio Publications, including Gloria’s Inn, Gift of Time, The Taking of Eden, Love’s Someday, Pitifully Ugly, Undeniable, A Devil in Disguise, Half to Death, Gloria’s Legacy, A Kiss Doesn’t Lie, The Secret of St. Claire, Magnetic, The Lure of White Oak Lake, The Summer of Our Discontent, Just Jorie, Scaredy Cat, The Magic of White Oak Lake, Always Alex, The Fall, Ticket 1207, Next Time, and The Trip.