by Erin Osborne
“What’s the matter Steel?” she asks, walking around to stand in front of me, running her hand down my chest.
“Can’t sleep,” I reply, knowing that she’s not ready to hear what I want so desperately to tell her.
“Me either. Want to wear me out?” I hear her ask as she sinks to her knees in front of me.
She pulls the waist band of my boxers away from my body and down my legs. As I go to step out of them, she’s already wrapping her warm, wet mouth around the tip of my rapidly hardening cock. I throw my head back and let the sensations she’s creating flow through me freely. Harley uses her mouth and tongue to work me over while using her hand to roll my balls. If she keeps this up I’m going to cum in a few minutes like a boy and not the man that I am. Right now, I’m enjoying the feeling so I shove my hands in her hair and give her the slight pull that I know she loves. My girl likes it a little rough sometimes and I’ll happily give her what she wants.
Moaning around me, I look down to see she has one hand in her pajama shorts and know that she’s playing with herself. Fuck! That’s enough for me to start feeling that tingle and know that I’m close to cumming. I pull her mouth off me and see the look of want in her brown eyes that look like melted chocolate in her state of lust. She stands up and I pick her up while she wraps her long, toned legs around my body. I turn and lean her back against the wall with one hand squeezing her delectable ass and my other hand lines my cock up with her wet pussy. As I slam her down on me, I find her nipple through her shirt with my mouth. It’s not enough for her and she unwraps her arms from my neck so she can rip my shirt over her head.
“You feel so good,” I grunt out, feeling like I’ve come home and I’m where I was always meant to be.
Her eyes pop open and I know that she’s feeling some kind of way right now. The way she’s leaning into me, I almost think she’s going to kiss me. Instead, she moves to my neck and bites down. That’s the most I ever get out of her. Her plan works and I speed up my movements as she slides a hand down between our sweat slicked bodies. I pull back a little bit so she has room to move her hand over her bundle of nerves and so I can watch her.
“Need. To. Get. There,” I tell her, letting the growl take over my voice.
I can feel her tightening around me and I know that she’s close. It’s like she’s taking me hostage and doesn’t want to let me go. I’m trying to hold off on my release, but she moves her hand so that she’s still rubbing her clit and is now letting her fingers slide on either side of my dick as I thrust in and out of her. There’s no way I can hold off any longer and I growl out her name as I find my release. At the same time, I feel her body tighten up and start to tremble. It’s almost like my release triggered her own. I slow my movements down as Harley rides her release out, moaning and closing her eyes. It’s the same every time she cums, no eye contact with me.
As we both come down and catch our breaths, I know the moment is coming that she’s going to close herself off again. Harley opens her eyes and begins to slowly unwind her body from mine. I set her down on the floor and make sure she’s steady before she swoops down to pick the shirt up off the floor and make her way into the bathroom. She’ll take a shower by herself and then climb back into bed. I’m lucky that she lets me sleep next to her I guess. So, I give her some time to herself while I use the kitchen sink to wash up and pull my boxers back on. I grab another drink and lean against the counter and then make my way back in the bedroom to find her curled up on her side away from my side of the bed. Climbing in after I take a quick shower, I force myself to remain on my back and place my hands under my head so I don’t reach out to her. Sleep finally claims me as I hear her gentle snoring.
Harley
I’m pretending to be asleep as I hear Steel walk back in the bedroom. It’s the same routine every time. The only difference tonight is the tears that begin to slip out of my eyes. I’m trying so hard to remain detached from Steel, not let the feelings that have been creeping in for a while now take root. In my world, everyone that means anything to me leaves. Some by choice and others by tragedy. That’s why I can’t let him get close to me. Steel can’t ever take up residence in my blackened heart.
Waking up the next morning, I roll over and feel Steel’s side of the bed. Just as it is every morning, the bed is cold, and I know that he’s been up for a while already. I’m sure he’s had his workout, gone for his run, and is probably in the shower. Or he’s making breakfast. I’m not going to lie and say that it’s not nice to have someone taking care of me for once, but I can’t let him in any more than he already is. Before I let my thoughts wander to what he’s doing in the shower right now, or about the water running down his naked body, I get up and walk toward the bathroom to see if I can get in there. Thankfully Steel is out, and I know it was recently based on the steam still clinging to the mirror above the sink.
I get in the shower and realize that I forgot to grab clothes in my quest to see if the bathroom was free. At least I have a towel I can dry off with and then wrap around my body long enough to make it back to the bedroom where my bag lies next to the bed. There’s no point in unpacking when I’ll be leaving here soon enough. If I keep working the way I have been, taking extra shifts and parties whenever I can, I’ll have enough money to move into my own place soon. My reasoning is that if I stay under the same roof as Steel for very long he’s going to worm his way into my heart and demolish all of the walls I’ve spent years building up and reinforcing. I won’t let them be torn down for any reason what-so-ever. Alan has proven what happens when I let someone in and he’s my family by blood.
Finally, out of the shower, I may have stayed in until the water turned cold trying to warm myself up from the cold feeling I’ve had since I lost my parents. If I’m honest with myself, it’s been since Alan walked back into my life and turned me into his personal slave and punching bag. Steel may know what’s been going on, but he sure as hell doesn’t know the extent of some of the beatings I’ve suffered at the hands of my brother. No one will ever know that humiliation and the reason that I stayed so long. Yeah, there were the threats, the demeaning words, and tearing me down, but there’s still reasons that I stayed with Alan so long.
As soon as I get dressed, I begin to make my way out to the kitchen to grab some breakfast, so I can head to the gym and then the Kitty Kat Lounge to rehearse. Addison has us there three days a week for rehearsals and even more whenever she hires a new girl so that we can help her perfect her routine and tell her a little bit of what it’s going to be like once she’s on stage for the first time. I’ve seen one too many girls turn to drugs to ‘calm their nerves’ when it comes to getting on stage. Addison and Gage don’t play that game though. If there’s even a thought that someone’s using, we’re all brought in for testing and there’s no hiding it. Addison or the doctor walk right into the stall with us. Is it over the top? Absolutely. But, some girls will go to any length to support their habit and the club doesn’t tolerate it at all. That’s one thing they don’t ever have to worry about with me and a few of the others. We’ve seen first-hand what drugs do a person, their family, and anyone else that’s close to them.
Steel and Gage are standing in the kitchen talking quietly. When they both look up at me, I know from the looks on their faces that the man of my fantasies has been talking about me. Great! Now Gage is going to want my story and I’m not ready for him to know it yet. I’ve always known that it was only a matter of time before he found out and wanted the real story from me, today isn’t that day though.
“I’m just grabbing a water and apple before heading out for the day. Sorry to interrupt you guys,” I say, heading directly to the fridge.
“Need to talk to you,” Gage says, his tone is sympathetic but commanding.
“Not now. Please, let me have a little bit to wrap my head around what I have to tell you. Even Steel doesn’t know it all and I know that you’re not going to let me get away without all the details. Besides, it’s not li
ke you won’t go to Tech if you think I’m holding back on you,” I respond, leaning against the counter until I know whether he’s going to accept my brush off or not.
“You can have that play for now,” Gage says, sitting down and leveling me with his gaze so I know the seriousness of his words. “We will be talkin’ about this in the next few days. And if you keep avoidin’ me, I’ll pull you from the rotation at the Kitty Kat.”
A shocked gasp escapes me as I watch him stand up and leave the house. There’s a look passed between the two men and then Gage is gone. I can’t move for a few minutes as I realize that my time hiding is coming to an end. Everyone will know my shameful secrets and I’ll have to move away from Dander Falls. I’ve been building a life here, but I guess that it’s always been in the back of my mind that I’d have to run sooner or later. Maybe that’s what I need to do to finally get away from Alan and his abusive treatment.
“Harley, you had to know this was comin’. I had to tell Gage about Alan’s threats about comin’ to the club. We won’t put any one of those girls in danger,” Steel tells me, leaning back in his chair, propping it up on the back legs as he balances himself while looking relaxed.
“I know. I don’t want anything to happen to the girls at the club, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to bare my soul to him, you, or anyone else,” I tell him, letting my head drop down to shield myself from his penetrating gaze. “You don’t know it all, Steel. And you’re not going to if I have my way.”
Before I can move, Steel is up in my space and tipping my head up to look at him. I can’t stand to look at him when I doubt myself so much. That’s why it’s easier when I’m stripping. I can pretend that I’m someone else and keep that façade up even after my set is done. It’s easy to stay in that mindset until I walk out the door at the end of the night and reality slaps me in the face again. The only difference now is that I don’t have to go back to the apartment I shared and pretend that all the drugs, sex, and parties don’t matter to me. I don’t have to lock myself in a room because my days as a teenager taught me that I’m not safe in my own home. In reality, everyone in the apartment creeps me out. Especially when my brother demeans me for stripping but doesn’t bitch when I’m handing over the money I made that night. Or when one of his friends wants a taste of the ‘stripper’.
“One day I’ll know each and every single one of your secrets. I’ll know why you hang your head in shame. And, last but not least, I’ll own your fuckin’ heart. You’re goin’ to give in baby, it’s just a matter of time. I’m a patient man and I’ll put in all the work it’s goin’ to take for you to see that I want nothin’ but you. I’ll own you the same way that you’ll own me. Hell, the way that you already own me,” Steel says, getting in my personal space and not let anything between us.
“I can’t,” I tell him, letting my head hang once again for a fraction of a second before slipping out from between Steel’s hard body and the fridge. He’s too close to getting his way and I refuse to allow that to happen. I’ve learned what happens when I let anyone get too close to me. it’s not pretty and I’m the only one that gets hurt. Everyone else either loses their life or goes on to live the life they were always meant to live.
Walking into the Kitty Kat after a grueling workout at the gym, I’m tired. My body is on fire from pushing myself past my limits in an attempt to outrun my past, and present. I’m exhausted from my daily battle with my traitorous heart, and the constant fear that my brother will follow through on his threats to harm everyone surrounding me. This is why I don’t let anyone get close to me. If I don’t surround myself with anyone then there’s no chance of anyone getting hurt because their affiliated with me.
Addison is sitting at the bar pouring over paperwork like usual during the day. No one knows that I have a degree in business management with an understudy in accounting. I put myself through an online school with what little money I could hide from Alan while taking out student loans. Loans that I’m now behind on because no matter where I put my money, he would find it while I would manage to get a few hours of sleep. Deciding that I’ll sit for a minute, I pull the stool out next to her and slump down into it.
“You okay?” Addison asks, setting her glasses and pencil down and turning her full attention to me.
“I could be better, but nothing I can’t handle,” I reply, accepting the bottled water that Wayne, a prospect I affectionately call Grizzly, hands me.
“You know you can talk to me if you need to, right?” she asks, ignoring the girls practicing their routines and letting me know without a doubt that she means what she’s saying.
“I know. But, some things are better left unsaid. Besides, I know that you’ll find out sooner or later from Gage. Just let me have it to myself for now please,” I respond, basically begging her to give me this and taking a sip of my water to stop myself from saying anything more.
“Okay. Harley, you bust your ass here, take any extra shifts I have, work the parties at the clubhouse when I need girls there, and do whatever you can to help the new girls. But, you also act hard and push everyone away from you. I don’t know what your situation is, but the Wild Kings will help you. I think you need to talk to some of the old ladies and listen to what they’ve been through. See how the club has rallied around them to make sure that they’re protected,” she tells me, getting a far-away look in her eyes. “Bad shit happens all the time and it can be traumatic. Holding it all in and not letting anyone, Steel maybe, help you carry that burden is taking a toll on you. We can all see it. So, I want you to get out of here and rest. I’m not going to have one of my girls getting sick or hurt because they can’t focus, and they’re exhausted.”
“I can’t afford to leave, Addison. I appreciate the offer more than you know, but the money is needed right now,” I say, turning my head away so she can’t see the sheen of tears threatening to spill over. “I have no one and I’m going to keep it that way.”
“You’re leaving with pay for the next two days. That’s an order,” Addison says, standing up and grabbing her cell phone. “Are you going to make me call him to come get you?”
“No, I’m not. I’ll go to his house but know that I could really use the tips from tonight and tomorrow. I’ll figure something else out,” I say, sounding harsh and standoffish as usual. Grabbing my bag roughly off the next stool, I start to storm out of the building and to my run-down car This is going to suck!
“I’m only trying to look out for you,” I hear as I walk out of the building pissed beyond belief at the luck of having the next two days off.
Honestly, I truly do appreciate the next two days off. And, I do have a good stash of money put up now that Alan can’t get his hands on it daily. But, I’m not going to have anything to do but brood and overthink everything that’s happened for years. I’m sure that Steel will be around too, which will make me even crazier. But, maybe I can use this time to find my own place and venture out on my own for the first time in my life. We’ll see what Mr. Caveman Asshole thinks of that. Steel will probably throw a fit and not let me go anywhere, but I’m not his to make decisions for. I’ll keep it to myself if I have to.
Pulling into the driveway, I take a minute to gather my bearings before walking inside. I have a laptop that is calling my name to begin my own apartment search. If I have to leave Dander Falls, I will, but I’m hoping that I get to stay here. Steel and Alan are going to be my deciding factors I guess. Knowing that Steel is aware of me being here, I get out and lock up my rust bucket before making my way inside. I don’t say a word to him as I head directly for the bedroom and my laptop. He stays out in the living room, watching TV and drinking his beer. I know it’s just a matter of time before he makes his way to me, so he can find out what I’m doing though.
Steel finds me sitting on the bed with the computer in my lap hours later. I’m not sure when I fell asleep, but I dozed off. He wakes me up when I hear him murmuring about moving away from him over his ‘dead fucking body’. Appare
ntly, there will be a fight. Especially since I’m going to look at three places tomorrow. For now, all I want is a hot shower and to go back to bed. Ignoring the man standing at the end of the bed, I grab clean clothes out of my bag and brush past him, so I can take a shower. I’ll use the warm water to loosen my muscles up and take away the memories. Or at the very least, wash down the drain with the tears I’m trying not to cry.
“You really leavin’ here?” he asks, sensing me waking up.
“I am. It’s time for me to be on my own. Besides, I’m sure you want to get back to your club girls and whatever else you have going on,” I say, avoiding eye contact once again.
“It’s not about what I want to get back to or whatever other bullshit you got runnin’ through your head. It’s about me protectin’ you and makin’ sure that your piece of shit brother doesn’t start fuckin’ with you wherever you move. Did you forget that fuckin’ part?” he growls out, letting me know that he’s truly pissed off.
“I didn’t forget anything,” I yell out, letting him know that I understand what I live with on a daily basis. “I have the fucking scars to remind me, the threats coming in on my phone, and the knowledge that my own brother will more than likely kill me if he thinks he can get money out of me that way. But, I’ve put off living my own life for the past twenty-seven years. Don’t I get a chance to live? Can’t I learn to make my own mistakes and clean up after myself instead of everyone else? Don’t I get the opportunity to make friends and have someone to lean on?”
Steel wraps his strong arms around me and murmurs to me as tears that I’ve held in for so long finally burst free. I can’t catch my breath and I feel like the walls are closing in on me even though I haven’t really gotten anything out about what I’ve lived through. He holds me until I fall asleep in his arms everything else forgotten until the nightmares I live with invade my sleep as usual.
