Our Secrets and Lies

by Sinéad Moriarty

  Lucy nodded. ‘Absolutely. We’ll comply with whatever conditions you set. I can’t thank you enough, Mr Gough. You were a tremendous help in persuading Mr Lyons not to take this further. We’re very grateful for the opportunity St Jude’s has given us, and I’ll make sure Kelly causes no more trouble in her time here.’

  Mr Gough nodded. ‘Kelly.’ He looked into her eyes. ‘What you did was very wrong, despite your reasons for doing it. It’s important that you learn from this mistake. I’m afraid you’ll need to be a model student from now on. Another step wrong and we’ll have to take more drastic measures. But well done for owning up and taking responsibility for your actions. That is proof of a strong character. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a meeting with the board.’

  The Murphys stood in the corridor outside Mr Gough’s office.

  ‘Jesus, Kelly, why didn’t you own up sooner?’ Dylan said angrily. ‘You caused so much trouble. You hurt Taylor and me and Mum.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Kelly said, as tears ran down her cheeks.

  Lucy glared at her. ‘I’m so disappointed in you.’ She turned on her heels and walked away. Dylan followed his mother. Kelly was left alone, with her guilt and her sorrow.

  44

  Darren looked out of the kitchen window. Ollie was at the end of the garden digging furiously. ‘What in the name of Jesus is he doing now?’

  Sarah dipped a chocolate biscuit into her tea. ‘Making a bomb shelter.’

  Darren spun around. ‘Tell me you’re joking.’

  ‘Nope. He came home from school and went straight to Billy’s shed to borrow the spade. He’s worried there’s going to be a terrorist attack in Dublin and he wants to build a bomb shelter so we’ll all be safe. Billy tried to stop him, but even he couldn’t get through to him.’

  ‘I told you he wasn’t right in the head.’ Shannon grabbed a biscuit from the packet and sat down opposite her mother.

  ‘He’ll be a long time digging a shelter that’ll fit all of us,’ Darren said.

  ‘At least it’ll keep him occupied for a few days and he isn’t bothering anyone,’ Sarah replied.

  ‘He’s bothering me, digging up my garden,’ Darren said.

  ‘It’ll be feck-all use. Sure those mad terrorists come at you with knives and all sorts now – a rabbit hole isn’t going to protect you.’ Shannon reached for another biscuit.

  ‘Leave him. He’s happy and isn’t a danger to himself or anyone else,’ Sarah said.

  ‘For the moment.’ Shannon snorted.

  Sarah put her mug of tea down. ‘How is Kelly?’ she asked.

  ‘Shocking,’ Shannon said. ‘She’s a mess.’

  ‘Ah, God love her. Hopefully it’ll settle down soon.’

  Shannon glared at her mother. ‘Settle down? Her mother and brother are barely speaking to her. The only one who’s nice to her in that house now is Billy. Lucy keeps saying, “I’m so disappointed,” and Dylan just completely ignores her. She’s in bits.’

  ‘I know, love, but it’s only been a few days and what she did was wrong.’ Sarah held up her hand. ‘Before you jump down my throat, I know she did it because she was worried about Dylan and saw how upset her mum was, but she still did something very wrong and took her time owning up. It wasn’t easy on Lucy having Dylan hate her for something she hadn’t done. And poor Taylor had a tough time, too. So while Kelly’s intentions were good, what she did caused an awful lot of hurt. They’ll come round, but it’ll take a bit of time.’

  Shannon put down her half-eaten biscuit. ‘She’s really upset, Mum, like, really upset. Not only are her own family hating her but everyone in school does too. They all know it was her who sent the photo because that Melissa cow told them all. She’s got nowhere to hide. Everyone hates her. She’s on twenty-four-hour watch – it’s like Guantánamo Bay in that house. And they took her phone so she can’t even talk to Sean.’

  ‘Poor Kelly. Lucy and Dylan don’t hate her, they’re just cross. I’ll talk to Lucy again and try to smooth things over.’

  Sarah had already tried talking to Lucy. But her best friend was as upset as she’d ever seen her. She couldn’t believe Kelly would do something so stupid, then not own up to it straight away. She kept saying, ‘How could she let me take the blame and have Dylan move out and almost get expelled?’

  Sarah had pointed out that Kelly was only seventeen, had been trying to help them all and was just scared, but Lucy was too angry to see Kelly’s side. Or that her own obsession with St Jude’s had created a perfect storm in Kelly’s head that made her think this was a good solution.

  ‘She almost ruined everything,’ Lucy had told Sarah. ‘Dylan would have been expelled in shame and he’d have blamed me for ever. She left it until the very last second to own up. I just can’t believe she’d behave like that. I’m so disappointed in her.’

  Sarah knew Lucy would come around eventually – she loved her daughter. But in the meantime, Sarah felt for Kelly. The poor girl was already having a rotten time in school and now her home life was awful too. It was a lot of stress for a young girl. She’d told Shannon to check in with her every day. ‘You can ask Kelly to tea tomorrow and she can stay the night if she likes,’ Sarah said now.

  Shannon rolled her eyes. ‘Like Lucy’s going to let her out of her sight. She’s grounded until the summer. Her life is hell, Mum, literally hell. Sean called to her house yesterday because he’d heard and wanted to check she was okay. Lucy answered the door and went absolutely mental. She told him she’d have him arrested if he darkened her door again.’

  ‘Oh, no.’

  ‘Oh, yes. And Kelly heard the whole thing from her bedroom and now she’s worried Sean’ll go off with someone else, which he probably will because you can’t go out with someone you never see or speak to or even text. She’s like a prisoner in there.’

  ‘If he likes her, he’ll wait for her,’ Sarah said.

  ‘He’s a hot teenage boy, Mum. He’s hardly going to wait until she’s allowed out in the summer!’ Shannon said.

  ‘Fair point,’ Darren said.

  ‘Come on now, Shannon, Lucy just said that in anger. Kelly will be out again soon, and I bet she gets her phone back next week.’

  ‘Bet she doesn’t. You need to talk to Lucy, Mum. It’s not fair. Kelly’s really down. It’s horrible for her. And now she has to go back to school tomorrow and she’s sick at the thought of it. They are going to crucify her.’

  ‘Ever one for the drama,’ Sarah said, smiling at her daughter. ‘But I’ll talk to Lucy.’

  Later that day, Sarah called into the shop. It was empty and Lucy was behind the counter, tapping furiously on a calculator.

  ‘Hey.’

  Lucy looked up and smiled. ‘Hey, there. Would you like a coffee from our fancy new machine?’

  ‘I’d love one. So you finally got it?’

  Lucy grinned. ‘After the last few days of hell, I told Dad I was getting the machine and that was that. He knew not to say no. We’ve only had it two days and we’ve sold forty coffees, so I think he’s happy enough.’

  ‘Good for you.’

  Sarah sat on a stool behind the counter while Lucy fiddled about making coffee. ‘So, how are things?’ she asked.

  Lucy poured milk into a stainless-steel jug. ‘Good, thanks. Dylan keeps following me around and hugging me, saying he’s sorry he blamed me and left home. I have my lovely boy back, which is such a huge relief. It was just awful, Sarah. I was scared I’d lost him for good.’ Lucy’s eyes filled with tears. ‘He was so angry. I was terrified he’d never realize it wasn’t me who sent that bloody picture.’

  ‘I know, but thankfully Kelly was brave enough to own up.’

  ‘Brave.’ Lucy frowned. ‘She said nothing and let Dylan leave home and almost get expelled. I’m so angry with her, she almost destroyed everything.’

  ‘Yes, but she did it out of concern and love.’ Sarah’s voice was firm. She wanted Lucy to see that Kelly had come from the right place.

&nbs
p; ‘She should have talked to me, or at least to Dylan. What she did was … It was so wrong and underhand, and then the lying afterwards. It’s … Well, it reminds me of how Tom behaved. Lying and sneaking around. I worry she’s going to turn out like him. I want more for Kelly. She’s a good girl, but what if she has his character as well as his looks?’ Lucy wiped a tear away.

  Sarah took the coffee Lucy held out to her and put it on the counter. Her hand was shaking. She needed to tell Lucy about Tom. He was arriving so soon, but the whole Dylan drama had happened and now didn’t seem like a good time either. ‘Come on, Lucy. Don’t even think that. Kelly’s a really good person and a credit to you. She made a mistake.’

  Lucy looked down at her coffee cup. ‘I know, but she’s changing, Sarah. It’s not the only thing she lied about. That boy Sean came around looking for her. She’s been seeing him and lying about it. So that’s two huge lies. What else is she lying about? I feel like I don’t know my daughter any more. She’s changed. She’s … she’s … I don’t know who she is. I’m really worried about her. I need to keep a close eye on her and make sure she doesn’t turn into her father. I’m not letting her out of my sight.’

  Sarah sighed. ‘Kelly is a great girl. She’s kind and generous, and she worries about her family and everyone around her. She’s you. How can you not see that? She is exactly like you were.’

  Lucy stiffened. ‘Me? I would never have done something like that.’

  Sarah eyeballed her friend. ‘So you never lied to your parents about going away on a dirty weekend with Tom? You didn’t lie about your pregnancy until you had to admit it? You never made a mistake as a teenager?’

  ‘Well, I never … I mean, that’s different.’

  ‘No, it isn’t. All young people make mistakes. Yes, Kelly’s was a very big one, but it wasn’t done to save herself or for her own benefit. She did it to save you and Dylan. You have to give her a break, Lucy. Shannon said Kelly’s desperately upset. Just try to let the anger go and look at the situation from her point of view. Will you do that?’

  Lucy sighed. ‘I’ll try.’

  ‘Okay, and now I’ve gotta fly – I’ve left the dinner in the oven.’

  Sarah had reached the shop door when Lucy called, ‘Thanks, Sarah. Only a best friend can make you see the other side of the story. Only best friends know all of each other’s secrets.’

  Sarah’s heart sank as Tom popped into her mind. Not all of the secrets, she thought.

  Later that night, when the kids were in bed and Darren was stuck into a football match on the TV, Sarah pulled out her laptop to check for messages from Tom. There was one, with his flight details, saying how excited and nervous he was.

  Sarah had to stop him. Now was not a good time. Now was a disastrous time.

  Hi Tom, I’m sorry, but you have to postpone the visit. Things are not good here. There’s been a lot of trouble and misunderstanding. Kelly did something pretty silly, although well intentioned, and has got into a lot of trouble. It’s all sorted out now, but Lucy is still really upset and shaken. So, now is just about the worst time in the world for you to waltz back into their lives. Please just push the trip back by a month. Let this all settle down. Honestly, arriving now would be a really bad idea. I know you’re excited and dying to meet the twins, but please trust me when I say do not come next week. Give them time to get over this hiccup. I’ll be in touch, Sarah

  45

  Kelly pulled out her Kindle. It was the only piece of ‘technology’ she had left. She was hoping her mum would give her phone back soon. The three days at home on suspension had been awful, with Lucy not talking to her and no screens or any means of communicating with the outside world, but at the same time Kelly had been so glad not to be in school. She’d come back yesterday to find that everyone was freezing her out. No one spoke a word to her. In a way it was easier than the verbal abuse, so it wasn’t too bad. At least today was Friday, just another few hours and she’d be out of there for two days.

  Lucy had softened a little bit, but Sean calling over had definitely made things worse. Her mum now knew she’d been lying about that too. She’d gone mental. Kelly was sick of everything and everyone. Why couldn’t they see she was only trying to help?

  School and home were now a complete nightmare and she didn’t even have Sean to call or text to make her feel better. She knew he’d move on to someone else. He had queues of girls waiting to go out with him. Her life was about as awful as it could get.

  Kelly’s tears splashed off the screen of her Kindle. She couldn’t concentrate on anything these days. She couldn’t sleep and was constantly exhausted.

  She pulled her sandwich out of her bag and took a small bite. The cubicle door burst open. Kelly fell sideways in shock, but put her hand out quickly enough to steady herself.

  ‘Look at this loser,’ Melissa sneered, holding up her phone. ‘Kelly the scholarship girl eating her lunch in the loo. Say hi, Kelly, you’re live on Facebook. FYI, in this school we actually have a canteen. It’s where normal people eat. Obviously someone like you, a freak, liar, shamer and loser, has to eat in here. Everyone in this school hates you, Kelly. Everyone knows what you did to my sister and they think you’re scum. But look at you, Kelly, who’s the loser now? You. St Jude’s doesn’t want lowlifes like you dragging the school down. We all hate you – even your own brother does. Why don’t you do us all a favour and die?’

  Alicia and Chloë tittered beside her.

  Kelly stood up from the toilet and shoved Melissa out of the way. She bolted past the girls, running as fast as she could. Tears of anger, shame and humiliation streamed down her face. They had put it live on Facebook – people would see it and know she was a complete loser. Everyone would see it. Oh, God, what if Sean saw it? Kelly let out a sob.

  She ran into the yard and tried to find somewhere to hide. She gulped back tears and ran towards the sports hall – she could hide behind the wall there.

  ‘Kelly?’

  Damn, it was Dylan. He was with Taylor. They were wrapped around each other. Kelly turned and ran the other way.

  She heard footsteps behind her. ‘Hey, Kelly.’ Dylan reached out and turned her around by the shoulder. ‘Jesus, what’s wrong?’

  Kelly couldn’t control her tears. ‘Your girlfriend’s sister just put a live video of me eating lunch in the toilet on Facebook.’

  ‘What?’ Dylan’s face darkened.

  Kelly sobbed. ‘Everyone in the world now knows what a sad loser I am. It should make you happy seeing as you hate me too. Everyone hates me. I hate me.’

  ‘Come on, Kelly, I don’t hate you. I was just really pissed off with you. I’m sorry. I’ll find that little bitch and sort her out.’

  ‘Don’t. You’ll just make it worse.’

  ‘I’m not letting her get away with it. But why were you –’

  ‘What?’ Kelly interrupted. ‘Why was I eating my lunch in the toilet? Oh, let’s see, because I have no friends. Because going to the canteen is a nightmare. I end up sitting on my own, listening to people whispering about me, laughing at me, slating me …’

  Dylan looked at her kindly for the first time in days. ‘I’m sorry, Kelly. I had no idea it was that bad.’

  ‘It’s always been bad but since … well, since the Taylor thing, it’s much worse.’

  ‘I’ll sort it out, I promise. Leave Melissa to me. No one hurts my sister.’

  Kelly began to bawl, but this time they were tears of relief. Dylan didn’t hate her. The person she loved most in the world was still on her side.

  Taylor came over to them. ‘What’s going on?’

  ‘Your sister is bullying Kelly,’ Dylan said.

  ‘What did she do?’

  Dylan filled her in.

  Taylor looked at Kelly and raised an eyebrow. ‘Kind of like what you did to me but not as bad because you had your clothes on.’

  Kelly felt her face go bright red.

  ‘Now you know what it feels like. It’s not nice,
is it?’

  Kelly shook her head. ‘I’m sorry, Taylor, I’m really so sorry about what happened. I swear I regret it every single day.’

  Taylor sighed. ‘I know, you’ve apologized loads of times, but it doesn’t take it away – it doesn’t take away the shame of everyone looking at my boobs. I’m sorry Melissa is being a bitch, but maybe it’s, like, poetic justice or something. It’ll blow over. You just have to brave it out, like I did. If people think you don’t care, they’ll stop. Look, I’ll talk to Melissa. I know she can be a bitch, but her mum is very hard on her so it’s not always easy at home.’

  Easy at home? Try living in my house, Kelly thought. ‘Thanks, it’s really nice of you.’

  ‘Chin up, okay? You have to be ballsy.’ Taylor gave her a half-smile.

  ‘Thanks, and I’m sorry again for what I did.’

  Taylor took Dylan’s hand. ‘Let’s just move on. Come on, Dylan, let’s go.’

  ‘I’ll see you later, Kelly. We can talk then,’ Dylan said, as Taylor led him away.

  Kelly watched her brother choose his girlfriend. She was alone again.

  Shannon sat on the wall looking at her phone, her jaw slack with shock.

  ‘Hi.’

  Shannon jumped, she hadn’t heard Kelly coming. She threw her phone into her school bag. ‘Hi, Kelly.’

  ‘Did you see it?’ Kelly asked.

  Shannon didn’t want to admit it. ‘No.’

  ‘I know you did. Show me your phone.’

  There was no way Shannon was going to let her see all the comments below the live Facebook stream. Thank God Kelly didn’t have her phone – she’d die if she saw what people were writing. The messages were awful.

  WTF? Is she insane?

  What did she get a scholarship for – being a freak?

  Pig

  LOL, loser

  Go back to where you came from scumbag

  Dog

  Go live in a skip

  Shannon held her bag close to her chest. Kelly narrowed her eyes. ‘You’re supposed to be my best friend, I need to know the truth. Has everyone seen it?’