Magical Cool Cats Mysteries Boxed Set Vol 1 (Books 1, 2 & 3 & A Christmas Feral)

by Mary Matthews

  “Phillip’s blackmailing me because my husband might be even more upset about the Suffragette Jewelry than the affair,” Helen said.

  “We’re going to the Coronado Islands off Mexico. We think we’ve found your jewelry.” Jack rubbed her arm.

  “Dears, do be careful,” Helen said.

  Chapter Twenty

  When a Brinks Truck went past them, Jack leaned over and whispered, “Grace, this is our big chance.”

  “Stop that!” Grace hit him playfully.

  They rounded the corner to the Hotel del Coronado. Tatania lept down from the window ledge. She put her paws up on Grace’s knees and kneaded with her claws.

  “Oh, maybe this is one explanation for rouged knees,” Jack said.

  Tatania kept turning towards Grace’s room, craning her head around and up to the room where the curtains fluttered.

  “Lily White is hiding more than we thought from her husband. Do you think the guy knows anything about her?”

  “Only that she looks good. That’s the difference between your gender and mine.”

  “Yours is more likely to look at the bank balance.”

  Tatania was so not interested in them. She wanted to solve the case before her next nap. Tatania learned to read people from gestures and from experience. She avoided men in groups except for a few kindly fishermen who hung out together. Men in groups tended to act like jerks. To cats. And to women. Her advice to cats on the move was to approach a woman alone for the greatest likelihood of kindness. Especially if you didn’t see any children in her home. Tatania had learned that the woman who tried to drown her was an aberration. Through Jack’s fierce protection, she’d learned to trust the right humans. She’d never made a mistake yet. Grace was necessary. She wouldn’t have tolerated another woman as readily and easily.

  Women usually treated cats the same whether they were alone or with their friends. It was only men that cats had to watch for a deterioration of feline social skills when in groups. The flies were buzzing around the heavy fish that the fishermen, back from the day at sea, hung on a rope outside.

  Pauline stood in front of them. Hands on hips, she demanded to know, “Where are you going?”

  “Helen will update you. We’re going to the Coronado Islands off Mexico.”

  Chapter Twenty One

  Tatania saw them getting in the boat. The ocean still made her sick. At night, she sometimes had nightmares about the woman who tried to drown her, whom she’d thought was her friend.

  She knew Grace and Jack might not find the jewelry on their own. So, stretching her paws forward and rear end up, she let go of the tenseness she’d felt looking at the water, and strolled across the beach like she owned it. Grace noticed her coming and motioned for Jack to wait before he began rowing.

  Tatania thought Grace was doing a great job training Jack to obey her commands. He was coming along well. Jack should take the plane. The boat was a mistake. Tatania lept on it and howled. From the looks on human faces, she could gauge how loud she sounded without even hearing herself.

  “Jack, I think this is a mistake. The water’s too rocky. And the islands are too far away,” Grace said.

  “I won a medal for rowing.”

  “Where?”

  ‘In high school.”

  “Jack, please. Lets fly. Tatania wants to fly.”

  Tatania could tell Grace was indicating for Jack to get out of the boat. She howled louder.

  “Lets fly,” Grace said.

  Jack’s plane was at the side of the Hotel del Coronado. He’d been having some paint work done.

  “Sometime, I’m going to teach you to pilot me.”

  “Bees Knees,” Grace said.

  Grace got up and began walking towards the plane. Tatania led the way. Jack tied the boat to its mooring.

  Tatania noticed different colors on the side of the plane. Some kind of writing. She expected to see the Brewster Family Crest since Jack was embracing his inner blue blood. She shuddered at thought of the Colonialists taking a ship from England all the way to the American Colonies. She was certain they couldn’t have done it without cats onboard. Rodent control policies were best set by cats.

  Her own name, Tatania, had been painted on the plane. Uh oh. She looked at Grace. She was smiling. Smart woman. She picked her battles. She didn’t feel competitive with other females. Admirable, cat like quality.

  Jack helped Grace get in the plane. Tatania waited for Jack. She’d fly on his lap to show her approval for naming the plane after her. And to howl loudly if he went off course.

  “I was expecting to see the Brewster Family Crest,” Grace said.

  “Tatania is my baby,” Jack said, handing Grace her goggles, and then putting on his own.

  “And mine,” Grace whispered.

  She could sense they were getting closer to solving the case and grabbing the Finder’s Fee.

  When Jack took off, she pulled her jeweled compact out of her wrist purse and looked behind her. Everyone on the beach peered up at them. Would the novelty of planes ever end?

  The first island appeared quickly. Jack landed immediately.

  “Just give me a minute,” Jack said.

  “One second, two seconds, three seconds. Just kidding.”

  Tatania rubbed her cheek against Grace’s. The whiskers tickled. Something the cat seemed to find as funny as her.

  “Principled behavior under pressure. What would the blackmailer do?” Grace asks.

  “He doesn’t have principles to lose.”

  “True. So how will he respond when we increase the pressure?”

  “He’ll slip. Make mistakes. He’s looking for attention. And money. And we’re not giving him either. So he’ll come out for the attention. Like a dog looking for a bone.”

  “He’s probably not a cat person.”

  “No. And everyone should be nice to cats. They’ll probably be ruling the planet one day.”

  “Maybe Tatania’s lucky that she doesn’t have to hear people,” Grace said.

  “What do you mean maybe?”

  “Understood.”

  Tatania began digging on the island.

  “The cat’s playing like a kid in a sandbox,” a strange man said. He was odd looking with pointy ears and thinning hair. And he was on the short side, like a gargoyle on a European building.

  Tatania glared. Cat in a sandbox indeed. Tatania rarely hissed. But now she hissed with a low growling sound added. She didn’t like the island.

  She saw a sea lion coming on shore. When the sea lion stared defiantly at her, Tatania bopped him on the nose, and the sea lion obediently flipped back in the water, giving the cat a wide berth and swimming away.

  Tatania hadn’t considered the sea lion dangerous. She simply needed the area to be free of extraneous scents. She had to follow the scent from the garden. She knew the thief had been there. She didn’t want scent interference. And she didn’t generally like the look of sea creatures. Unpredictable and invariably bigger than her, they made her a little nervous.

  Smugglers littered the island. Bootleggers found the Mexican Coronado Islands useful. Uninhabited except for a few Mexican Navy sailors assigned to it, and occasional stragglers who got drunk and missed the boat, it was an easy place to disappear under the cover of darkness.

  Bootleggers eyed Jack’s plane.

  One approached Grace and said, “Doll, this isn’t a yachting excursion.”

  “First of all, I’m not your Doll. And I wouldn’t mistake your boat for a yacht.”

  He looked at her through eyes that morphed to little slits. She felt Jack’s hand on her back. Jack was great. But at a time like this, a girl could yearn for Wyatt Earp.

  Tatania was ready to wrap this case up. She just needed to nudge her operatives in the right direction. She didn’t want to miss her afternoon nap. And she’d been thinking about the black and white tomcat. He was very cute.

  Tatania flew onto the bootlegger, unsettling his balance, and toppling him ba
ckwards.

  She felt an unusual vibration. She turned back and saw a snake coming from a cave, coiling towards her. Jack pulled out his Army knife, threw it at the snake, and sliced its head off. There was another snake behind him. And then another. Jack kept slicing off heads, pulling his knife and offing them.

  “Stand back. They could be poisonous.” Jack held his hand in front of Grace.

  “I don’t have to be told twice,” Grace said, trembling.

  Philip stood in front of the cave. He shifted his stance with a Jake Leg stiffness.

  Tatania lept on his face, clawing him. Jack killed the last snake.

  Grace walked in the cave. The jewelry lay before her. Half buried in the sand. Glorious and resplendent. Emeralds, diamonds, and amethysts.

  “To what do we owe the misery of your company?” Grace asked Philliip.

  “A tarty suffragette.”

  “We’ll tell her you said Hello.” Jack held his bloody Army knife against Phillip’s throat. He gestured for Grace to pick up a backpack on the floor. Grace scrambled to fill the backpack with jewelry.

  “All the jewelry better be here,” Jack warned.

  Chapter Twenty Two

  They left Mexico’s Coronado Island for their own. Grace felt relief when Jack guided the plane to landing at North Island’s Naval Base. She jumped out as quickly as Tatania.

  “I believe you have something of mine,” Pauline said.

  “Yes. We found your jewelry,” Grace said excitedly.

  An agitated man stood next to her. Grace recognized him from the speakeasy.

  He had a pistol. Grace heard a shot. She watched the man fall forward. Behind her, Jack stood with a rifle he kept in the plane.

  “I have an insurance claim. I don’t want the jewelry. I want a hundred grand.” Pauline looked menacingly at Jack.

  Grace reached for her pearl inlaid pistol. Jack had insisted that she bring it to Mexico.

  “Emeralds, diamonds, and amethysts. You’re a little naive, Grace,” Pauline said.

  “Not anymore.” Grace held the pistol steady. And pointed at Pauline.

  “How did you get in here, Pauline?”

  “Dear, I’m an Admiral’s wife.”

  Her companion started to get up. Tatania tripped him. He fell face down again.

  Pauline lunged for Jack. Grace pulled the trigger.

  “Thank you, Darling,” Jack said.

  “I couldn’t take a chance on her wounding you. I’m no Florence Nightingale.”

  “Good thing I taught you to shoot like Wyatt Earp.”

  “Everything okay in here?” A sailor on duty asked.

  “They’re going to need some medical work. And an explanation for an insurance fraud claim.” Jack gestured to the bodies.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Helen shook her head when they told her about Pauline.

  “I guess you never know who your real friends are, do you Grace?”

  “You do if you lose all your money. I wouldn’t recommend it though. Poverty gnaws at your insides and interferes with sleep. I don’t care for it.”

  “I have fifteen thousand dollars for you,” Helen said.

  She excused herself and returned with a stack of fifteen one-thousand dollar bills.

  “I’ve never seen Grover Cleveland before. Thank you,” Grace said.

  Jack picked up the bills and winked at Grace.

  “You’re splitting it of course?” Helen looked worried.

  “I may take it all.” Grace smiled.

  “Good girl. I hope to see you at the Revolutionary Colonial Daughters luncheon this month. You’re a perfect daughter.”

  “I wouldn’t miss it,” Grace said. It was like Jack said. When things get tough in the present, hold on to what was good in the past, and it will propel you to the future.

  The black and white tomcat that adored Tatania appeared. You have the most beautiful fur I’ve ever seen he told Tatania with his eyes.

  Tatania swished her tail around so he could better appreciate its full effect. She’d spent an inordinate amount of time grooming it lately and was pleased he noticed. It was good to meet a tomcat with brains and taste.

  Helen picked him up and kissed him. He squirmed a little, embarrassed by the human’s unabashed affection. In front of Tatania.

  “I had a female cat for a really long time. After she died, I thought it would be better to get a male because it would be easier to accept if he was less intelligent than her,” Helen said.

  “We couldn’t live without a cat either,” Grace said, reaching to pet the kitty.

  “I have no regrets. As Tallulah Bankhead said, ‘The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it.’” Helen sighed.

  “I must get ready. I expect my husband back soon.” Helen kissed each of them.

  “I’m past judging the romantic choices people find necessary in life,” Jack said.

  Tatania communicated that she would forever call the black and white tomcat, Zeus, the greatest of all Greek mythological gods. Zeus disguised himself in many forms and surely would have found perfection in a cat.

  He held himself up regally. Tatania knew just what to communicate to comfort humans and animals.

  Jack pulled something out of his leather jacket. Emeralds, diamonds, and amethysts glittered within a tiara.

  “It was a secret. Helen hid it in her garden. She noticed Tatania spending a lot of time there. Tatania sniffed it out. So Helen decided to dig it up before Tatania got a dog to do it. She gave it to me. When you decided to stay instead of going back to New York, Helen said to give it to you at the end of the case and let you know you’re still a Princess.”

  “Jack, do I need poisonous snakes to guard it?” Grace gasped.

  “No. You’ve got me.”

  A Christmas Feral

  A Christmas Feral

  “Maximum Sentence for you.” Judge Scrooge bellowed. He motioned from the bench for his bailiff to come forward and take the haggard man into custody.

  The defendant flinched. His attorney didn’t look surprised but spoke quickly.

  “Your Honor, it’s Christmas Eve,” the criminal defense attorney said.

  “He’s getting a free Christmas dinner in custody. What’s your point?”

  “We were hoping for a continuance.”

  “When he’s sitting in jail, he can ask Santa Claus for a continuance.” Judge Scrooge chortled.

  The haggard man tried to brush away the bailiff.

  “Admonish your client to be careful. My bailiff is already trigger happy. Don’t encourage him.”

  “Could you reconsider?” The attorney asked again.

  “No. Keep talking and I’ll sentence you.”

  The attorney waved goodbye to his client and left.

  Judge Scrooge got down from the bench and walked into his chambers. His clerk followed and obsequiously waited for the Judge to speak.

  “No, I don’t need your help taking my robe off.”

  “I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas.”

  Judge Scrooge shook his head. “Merry for the people who sponge off everyone else. It’s the most profitable time of the year. I dispense justice. Don’t ask for anything more. I don’t give presents. Nor do I care to accept any.” He explained when the clerk tried to hand him a basket.

  “My wife wanted me to give you a basket of her biscuits.”

  “Thank you. As you can see, I don’t miss any meals.” He patted his belly. He was neither fat nor thin. If it wasn’t for his commanding voice, manner, and position, he would probably never have been noticed in life.

  “I don’t believe in coddling people. You get a salary. You get a day off for Christmas.”

  “I wasn’t expecting a present. We just wanted to share this with you.”

  “I don’t think sharing is healthy.” Judge Scrooge picked up his overcoat and walked past the clerk.

  “Lock up behind me. And keep your biscuits. Come in early the day after Christmas. I�
��ll have some work for you.”

  “Your Honor, we have one more case on calendar. It’s a dispute over killing stray cats in Coronado.”

  “What’s there to dispute? Go ahead and kill the cats. They show up, strays, asking for a hand out. What do you think the world would come to if we could all just meow for a free meal?”

  “The cats’ lawyer says that there’s an inherent right to feed cats. It’s not illegal. She wants an injunction against shooting cats. “

  “I’ll set her straight.”

  Judge Scrooge put his robe on again, strolled into his Courtroom, and spied the woman forever known to him as Her.

  She spoke first, announcing her appearance for the record. It seemed odd to see Her again, and know that she looked the same, if not more beautiful, with a sharpness of wit that matched his own.

  He decided to rule against Her.

  He pointedly ignored Her and looked at the male attorney on the other side of Her.

  “Your Honor, Attorney Minter’s client has brought an ill advised request for injunction against my client for properly euthanizing stray cats that wander onto his property.”

  “And how are they euthanized?” Judge Scrooge asked, rubbing his beard.

  “By gunshot. Counsel Minter will argue that cats have a right to stroll across any property. That cats don’t have to follow the law like the rest of us—”

  “—Your Honor—”

  “—Don’t interrupt.” Judge Scrooge snapped at Her.

  “—Then I request an opportunity to be heard. I’d like to make my own arguments. With all due respect, my opponent doesn’t look like Clarence Darrow. While I might let Clarence Darrow make my arguments, here, I’ll make my own. This is not an euthanasia case. Healthy cats were shot in Spreckels Park. Neither the cats nor my opponent’s client own Spreckels Park. He had no more right to kill the cats than the cats to kill him.”

  “They were threatening to go on my client’s property.”

  “How does a cat threaten?” Attorney Minter asked.

  “They were close enough to his property. The cats could have sauntered onto his property, killed a bird he wanted for dinner, and left. Without paying a thing.”