by Liz Bower
I dropped my head against the back of the chair to stare at the ceiling. “So what can we do?” Alex didn’t answer, but I heard the shuffle of papers and lifted my head. He slid a document across the desk to me. “What’s that?”
“The outline document from Lakeside Holidays.”
I lifted it off the desk and flicked through the pages.
“They want to discuss it with us at their offices. I was going to go next week, but …”
I turned back to the first page and looked back up at Alex when he didn’t continue. “But what?”
“But I wondered if you would rather go. Get away for a couple days from the office. From everything?”
It was tempting. And if I weren’t around then maybe whoever had been doing this would lose interest for good.
“Toby could put together a test site for you to use so you could demo the workflow. I’d rather you didn’t go alone though. They have questions about reporting, on how bespoke they could be made. Dan could go and talk them through their options. I was going to ask him to go with me next week, but there’s no reason you can’t answer their questions. Probably better than I could. You could get the train up there and stay at the same hotel.”
I liked the idea of escaping my life for a few days, but with Dan? We hadn’t spoken much recently, and I had the feeling he was avoiding me. But it would give me something to focus on instead of driving myself crazy imagining everyone in the office was behind the threats. “Okay. It might be just what I need.”
Alex rubbed his hands together. “Great. I’ll get Cathy to book a hotel or something near their offices. Keep that and read through it before you go. If you’re not sure about anything they’ve requested, let me know.”
I rolled the document into a tube and stood. “I will,” I said, heading for the door. With my fingers wrapped around the handle, I turned back to him. “And Alex … thank you. Getting away? I think it’s just what I need.”
I didn’t wait for him to reply before I walked out of his office.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
I spent the rest of the morning going through the requirements Lakeside Holidays had given us and then arranged to meet Gabi for lunch at the Bay Horse.
The pub was busy and I weaved my way through the crush of people surrounding the bar. Gabi was already there waiting with a bottle of beer for me.
“Hey, stranger.”
I gave her a hug, tears stinging my eyes because I’d missed her.
“I was joking,” Gabi said as she eyed me.
I leaned back and tried to pull myself together. We headed outside to a table at the back of the courtyard even though it was a little chilly.
“So, what’s it like being back at your parents’ house?”
I smiled. “Strange. I miss our place.”
Gabi reached across the picnic bench and took my hand in hers. “Then move back. I miss you too.” She traced a finger around a knot in the wood, avoiding looking at me. “Marco moved out, if that’s what’s bothering you.”
“He did? Where?”
Gabi peered up at me. “Do you care?”
I sucked my bottom lip beneath my teeth. Ouch. “Of course I care.”
Gabi’s fingers stilled and she lifted her head. “Then come back home. I don’t get why you’re hiding at your parents’ house.”
“Because it’s safer for everyone this way.” I took a sip of my beer and closed my eyes against the bright blue sky overhead.
“What? You think whoever threatened Marco won’t threaten your parents? He’s not there anymore, so there’s no reason for you to stay away.”
I set the bottle back on the table. “What if they threaten you, Gabi? Marco wasn’t the only reason I left.”
She let out a frustrated sigh.
“Maybe when I get back.”
Gabi narrowed her eyes at me. “Get back from where?”
“Alex wants me to go to the Lakes for a few days. Client visit.” I pursed my lips. “With Dan.”
She leaned back from the table and folded her arms across her chest. Her lips twisted into a frown and she glared at me.
“What?”
“Look, I don’t know what was going on between you and my brother, but what? You’re just taking off with Dan now?”
“It’s not like that.” I crossed my arms across my chest, frankly pissed off at what Gabi was insinuating.
She leaned forward, her forearms resting on the table. “I’m sorry, but I’m worried about him. I’ve never seen him like this before. He said you won’t see him. Can’t you talk to him before you go away?”
I dropped my hands to my lap, twisting my fingers together. “And say what? ‘I’m sorry I’m trying to keep you safe by staying away from you’? He was sent a tongue, for crying out loud, Gabi. Why am I suddenly the bad guy in all of this for trying to protect everyone? Alex was sent a heart for being nothing more than my boss. Whoever’s doing this isn’t rational. It’s better this way, a clean break. It’s not like Marco and I were heading anywhere.”
Gabi leaned back at my last words, her hands clenching into fists where they rested on the table. “Yeah, sorry. I forgot there for a moment that you can’t do relationships that last longer than six months. Why even bother with Marco, hey?”
I sucked in a breath. This. This was why starting anything with Marco was a bad idea. Of course Gabi would stick up for her brother; I just hadn’t expected it to hurt so much. Why didn’t she understand that I was doing this for his own good? I grabbed my handbag from under the seat and threw a tenner on the table. “You know what? Just forget it. I shouldn’t have asked you to meet me. Why don’t you try asking Marco what Lily was doing round at ours. Ask him how bothered he is about me. And you know what, Gabi? When you’re perfect, then you can lecture me on my life. Everyone screws up sometimes. It’s called being human.”
I strode across the courtyard and back inside the pub. How dare Gabi have a go at me for trying to do the right thing. As I pushed open the pub door, I stared up at the sky and took a few deep breaths, watching the clouds sliding towards each other as I blinked. I refused to cry. Why couldn’t I scream, throw something—preferably at whoever was doing this—instead of crying? As the first tear fell, I swiped the back of my hand across my face and headed back to the office.
Shit. This hurt ten times worse than when I found out Josh was cheating on me. It had been easier to turn that pain into anger, to hate him. But I didn’t hate Marco. If nothing had happened with Lily, well, it was still safer for us not to be together. I couldn’t believe he was the same as Josh. But there was always that little niggling voice that answered that thought. What if he was the same?
Back behind my desk, I propped my bag open on my lap. An image of Marco’s face as I closed my parents’ door on him flitted through my head. I hated that I was the cause of that look. And after lunch with Gabi, I had two members of the Jackson family upset with me.
The idea of escaping for a few days seemed all the more appealing. I fished my phone out of the bag and started a text to Gabi. After typing out an essay to her, I read it back and shook my head. I deleted the text and instead just typed, I’m sorry.
Staring at the two words, I hesitated before sending it. It wouldn’t hurt. I added Marco’s number to the text and sent it to both of them. Because I was.
Sorry I’d ever applied for the job in the first place.
Sorry they’d been dragged into this.
Sorry I’d started anything with Marco.
***
In the end, Dan said he would drive us both up to the Lakes, and I was fine with that. I doubted my car would make it up the hills on the drive there, and it was better than getting the train.
It was only an hour and a half drive from Gartdale but it seemed like it took days. Dan was … quiet, to say the least. Apart from the occasional sidelong glance in my direction, I would have thought he’d forgotten I was even there. With each of his glances, I smiled at him, but he had just turned
back to look at the road.
In the end I gave up trying, instead angling myself to stare out of the passenger window. Miles of dry stone wall stretched as far as I could see, lush green fields beyond scattered with white dots of sheep. I lifted my gaze to the darkened hillsides that met the skyline. It was all very Heathcliff and Cathy, wild and remote, yet beautiful in its rugged starkness. It looked peaceful out there, and I made a promise to visit more often.
The voice of the GPS brought me back to the not-so-peaceful atmosphere of the car. As Dan turned off the main road, I got my first glimpse of Lake Windermere. It was vast, dominating the land ahead, the dark blue of the water stark in contrast to the white boats moored along its edge. Staring at the grandness of the lake, I couldn’t help but feel insignificant next to its sheer beauty and size.
Dan followed the GPS into the town of Bowness where we would be staying, pulling the car up outside a stone-built cottage across from the lake. Slate framed the green wooden windows, and the slate tiles on the roof shimmered in the sunlight. He switched off the engine, and I glanced his way, but he was already climbing out of the car. Well, isn’t he just a laugh a minute. I was glad I wouldn’t have to work with him once we got to the offices. Alex might not have wanted me to come alone, but I was beginning to wish I had.
I spent the next two days lost in our software and how it could make the booking process easier for Lakeside Holidays. Make recommendations on prior bookings, follow-up on searches, and anything else they wanted.
In the evenings they took me out for dinner, and I enjoyed lunches alone down by the lake. Those times had given me plenty of moments to think about the chaos my life had become.
Gabi had apologised, and I was glad that we had called a truce. I hadn’t heard anything from Marco, but then I wasn’t expecting to. The fact that it hurt so much was unexpected. I missed him. Missed coming home to him, talking to him about my day. The way he would make me laugh and how he looked at me as though he wanted me more than anything else in the world. “I want to be the only one who gets to kiss you. I want you.” But then the sight of him with Lily would pop up in my head again.
I threw a pebble into the lake and watched the ripples spread out until they disappeared, then picked up another and rubbed my thumb across its smooth surface. As I threw it into the water, it reminded me of the letters. A piece of paper that looked harmless enough until the words they contained were thrown into my life, the effect of them spreading out until they reached everyone around me. When would their effects disappear into the bigger picture, be swallowed up by the rest of my life? Soon, I hoped. The police would have to find something soon.
When the cold became too much, I headed back to the B&B to pack. Suitcase in hand, I pulled the room door closed behind me.
Time to go back to my life at home. Back to reality.
Dan was waiting for me by the car with a small smile on his lips. As I neared him, he grabbed the suitcase and said, “Let me get that for you.” He lifted it easily into the back of the car. Tentatively, I returned his smile. I could get whiplash from this man’s mercurial moods. But maybe the drive home wouldn’t be quite as awkward as the drive there.
We chatted easily about the last few days, the work we would have to do, and then I noticed we were almost back in Gartdale. Dan turned right at the crossroads heading away from our office. I glanced over my shoulder and then up at a sign for Wellbrook, wondering where he was taking us. “I thought you could just drop me off at the office. If you don’t mind.”
He glanced my way and smiled. “I will. I just need to pop home first.”
“Oh. Okay.”
He turned down a narrow country lane barely wide enough for the car, and I grabbed the handle as we hit a pothole. Where did he live?
“It’s like the old days, isn’t it? Talking about the future and what we’re going to do.”
My brow furrowed at his words and I looked his way, but he was watching the road. “I guess?” I wasn’t sure what old days he was referring to. Maybe he was just talking generally.
He smiled my way and said, “I miss those days.”
I gave him a quizzical smile because I thought I was missing part of the conversation. But then I was distracted as he pulled the car over outside a small stone cottage. It was cute with its moss-covered roof and an eggshell-coloured front door with panes of glass that revealed a small but cosy-looking room inside.
“Come on, I’ll show you around.”
Not expecting this to take long, I pushed my handbag farther into the footwell. I hated carrying a bag around if I didn’t need to. I climbed out of the car and glanced around. The cottage was on the edge of the field that led to a copse of oak trees in the distance. There wasn’t another house in sight, although the field was surrounded by hedgerows that could be hiding his neighbours’ houses. “It’s hard to believe we’re so close to Gartdale. This place feels like it’s in the middle of nowhere.”
Dan laughed as he pushed open the front door and ushered me inside. “Don’t you recognise the woods? My mum’s house is just through there.”
He closed the door, and my heart rate spiked as I heard him lock it. I turned to face him and he was smiling at me. But that smile made my stomach churn, and I couldn’t stop the thought that something was wrong. Maybe he was just really security conscious, but I couldn’t imagine anyone stumbling across the cottage. “Why would I recognise the woods? I’ve never been here before.”
He let out a quiet chuckle, but he didn’t sound amused.
“The woods back right onto my mum’s house. Surely you haven’t forgotten her house after all the time you spent there? I know it’s been a while, but …”
He walked out of the room, and I gaped after him. What the hell was he talking about? I had never been to his mum’s house. Why would I when I had never met the woman? And why did he think I had spent time there? Had he forgotten the fact that we had only known each other a couple of months?
The sound of a lock sliding into place stopped my questions and drew my gaze to the other room. If he just needed to ‘pop home,’ then why was he locking us inside?
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
The noise of the metal bolt sliding into place echoed around inside my head and my stomach muscles clenched. My gaze flicked to the room that Dan had disappeared into, but I couldn’t see him. A quick glance over my shoulder showed an empty keyhole. I glanced around the room but saw no other way out unless I could get past Dan.
I took a step back towards the door and tried to calm myself down. Nothing had happened. Yet, the little voice in my head whispered back.
Everything is fine. Just breathe.
My gaze wandered the room, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. But then what had I been expecting, a sign on the wall saying ‘escape now while you can’?
A faded blue sofa and armchair faced a widescreen TV. The cream walls were bare except for the curtains tied back from the window. In the corner of the room was a wooden bookshelf that almost reached the ceiling. Pretty normal if Dan lived there by himself.
With a quick glance towards the doorway Dan had disappeared through, I still couldn’t see him. It sounded like he was looking for something, as I heard doors open and close. I moved quietly over to the bookshelf, seeing a couple of framed photographs. There were several of Dan with whom I assumed were his rugby teammates. One must’ve been of his family, because his resemblance to his father was striking. They both had the same broad chest and dark wavy hair, except his dad’s was shorter. And those dark blue eyes framed with black eyebrows.
As my gaze landed on the final frame, I picked it up to get a better look. Clearly it was of Dan when he was much younger, but it was the girl who captured my attention. She looked to be about the same age as Dan. Long brown hair and blue eyes. She looked familiar to me. I heard Dan returning, so I placed the photo back down on the shelf and turned my back to it.
“Are you ready to go?”
Dan looked over in my
direction when I spoke but then took a seat on the sofa.
“There’s no rush, is there?” He patted the cushion next to him. “Come and sit down. We can catch up on the time since you left for uni.”
I grabbed hold of the bookshelf behind me, resting my weight against it. “I didn’t go to university, Dan.”
His head tilted to one side as he looked me over, a faint flush of red spreading across his cheeks.
“Why? Why would you lie to me? That’s why you left me.”
My fingers tightened around the wooden shelf as the rush of my blood filled my ears. Trying to fight down the panic, I told myself to think. He obviously had me mistaken for someone else. No big deal. I took a deep breath and then said, “It’s me, Dan. Jo. From the office, remember?”
He leaped to his feet at my words and strode towards me.
“I know who you are. I’ve thought about you every single day since you walked out of my life without so much as a backwards glance. Since you told me how important going to university was to you. So important you couldn’t just leave me behind. You had to break up with me so you could focus on studying. So why would you lie to me about not going?”
I released my hold on the bookshelf and held my palms out towards Dan. My arms broke out in goosebumps at the tortured sound of his words, but I had no idea what to say to him. If I denied it again, it would only make him angrier, but what was I supposed to do? Lie to him? “I-I’m not lying.”
His hand shot out towards me, and I flinched. I waited for the pain to register but when it didn’t, I opened my eyes. He had one of the photo frames cradled in his hands, head lowered over it. Dear God, how had I ended up here? Wherever here was, because it seemed Dan was living in an alternate world to me.
He lifted his head, stormy blue eyes boring into mine. As he pulled back his hand, I tensed, holding my breath. He threw the photo frame across the room, and I jumped when it crashed against the wall. It was followed by the tinkling of breaking glass. Slowly I released my breath, my gaze still trapped in his.
