In Pieces

by Gia Riley

  “Why did you do that? I was going to tell them.”

  “You didn’t tell me until I forced it out of you. I was worried you would do the same thing with them. I thought I should do something to make it easier for you.”

  I hate that Carson took it upon himself to decide what was the right move for me. This isn’t his baby—it’s mine. I should be able to decide when and where I tell people—if I tell them at all. “You shouldn’t have done this.”

  Kate scoots to the edge of the ottoman, directly in front of me. “I live here and I know I’m not around much—my schedule is pretty much opposite yours, but I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t here when you needed me.”

  “It’s fine. I took a test and went to the doctor.”

  “And the doctor said the baby was okay? You’re okay?”

  “Yes.”

  The next words out of her mouth surprise me. “I’m proud of you, Kinsley.”

  I raise my head, wondering how in the world she could possibly think that. “How can you be proud? I messed up.”

  “But you did something about it. You got yourself care. That’s the best thing you could have done for your baby.”

  “Rhett’s the one who’s been taking care of me—at least until last night. He’s not too happy with me after what I did.”

  Kate reaches for my hand and squeezes it. “Something tells me he’s not giving up on you just yet.”

  I shake my head. “He’s not.”

  Carson shifts next to me, no doubt uncomfortable with Rhett being the topic of conversation. I glance at Wyatt to gauge his reaction, but he’s not even looking at me. His head is tipped back and he’s looking at the ceiling. It makes me feel guilty that he had to drive home to deal with my problems when he clearly would rather be just about anywhere else.

  When the doorbell rings, he hops off the couch so fast he almost trips over his sneakers sitting next to him on the floor. “Hey, baby,” he says. “Come sit with me.”

  Becca walks in the room with Wyatt, and she gives me a forced smile. Knowing her, she’s pissed I didn’t run to her with my news. Wyatt pulls her onto his lap and kisses her lips in front of all of us. I get it, they missed each other. Still, Wyatt doesn’t get any happier now that Becca’s here. He still isn’t saying a single word to me.

  “Hey,Becca.” I try to break the tension by acknowledging my best friend.

  She doesn’t take the bait though like she normally would. All I get is a simple, “Hi, Kins,” before she nudges Wyatt in the stomach. “Stop,” she whispers.

  He rolls his eyes, but finally acknowledges me. “You fucked up.” Is all he says.

  My brother’s opinion means the world to me, and right now, he looks ashamed that I’m his sister—like it’s hard for him to even speak to me. He breaks my heart all over again.

  Kate senses I’m about to fall apart, and takes another turn, transitioning into guardian mode. “We’re all spending Thanksgiving together at Carson’s cabin. He’s graciously offered it to us, so we can get back to being a family. We’ve all been going in opposite directions and clearly we’ve lost you along the way. What’s done is done, but I want this baby to be something we can all learn from. I also want it to be a blessing.”

  “I can’t go away. I have to work.”

  “You’ll go talk to Betty and clear your schedule. If she fires you, then so be it. I’ll cover your share of the bills. We’ll figure the rest out later.”

  “Okay, but if I’m going to be treated like a problem the entire time, I’d rather stay here.” My comment’s directed toward Wyatt, but I’m not sure he even hears me. Becca’s nuzzling against his chest, and he’s holding her like she’s his prized possession. Everything about it rubs me the wrong way. Not because I’m jealous of what they have, but because my own brother can’t bother to show me an ounce of the love he’s giving her.

  “You’re not a problem, Kinsley.” Kate stresses. “I just think we need to stop being too busy for each other.”

  There’s no use arguing about it. I have one more day before we’re shipping off to some cabin in the woods to be a family. Though a real family wouldn’t have approached me like this—like I’m some druggie off the street who wouldn’t have sat down to have a normal conversation with each of them, one-on-one.

  “I have to get to the diner.”

  Carson jumps from the couch, chasing after me like a little puppy dog. “Wait, Kins. I’ll drive you.”

  “I got it,” I tell him, as I walk away. Last night the idea of being completely alone brought me to my knees. Now, all I want to do is find someplace I can be by myself. It’s crazy how things can change in less than twenty-four hours.

  Carson follows me outside even though I told him I was fine on my own. “You’re mad I called them, aren’t you?”

  I stop, only halfway down the stairs. “Wyatt won’t even look at me. Becca said two words. Kate’s treating me like some case at work. I don’t need this stress, Carson. You meant well, but please stop interfering.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s fine. I’m going to need support and help, but Rhett and I have a lot to figure out as it is. And those decisions will be made by the two of us—not anyone else.”

  “Okay, I get it. Will you still let me drive you? I’ll take you wherever you want to go.”

  “Yeah, thanks.” Maybe by the time we get to the diner, I’ll have figured out how to let Carson go without ruining our friendship. Though something tells me it won’t matter how gently I go about it. He’s going to be gone for good.

  KINSLEY DIDN’T COME to school today. It was only a half day anyway, but she probably thought news of our baby would be spread all over school by now—and it is. I’ve fielded curious questions all day long, but it was the ones about us breaking up that pissed me off the most. I didn’t break up with my girl. As far as I’m concerned, she’s still mine. Whatever my mom tried to do to our relationship isn’t going to stick.

  I spent most of last night and today thinking up the perfect plan. Finally, while I was running in gym class, it dawned on me there might be a solution. I’m not supposed to get any of my trust fund money until I turn twenty-one. My grandfather put aside a large portion of his estate for me so that when I was responsible enough, I’d have access to the money.

  As long as I can convince my dad that I need some of the money early, and my mom doesn’t find out about it, I’ll be able to support my family while we both go to college. Preferably far enough away from here that I won’t be accused of tarnishing the family name any more than we already have.

  When I open my locker, there’s a crumbled envelope taped to the inside. I pull it off the metal door, and when I open it up, I realize it’s the hush money Kinsley was paid to keep the baby’s paternity a secret.

  “Thank fuck,” I whisper, unable to hide the smile on my face. I’m so proud of my girl and I take it as a sign that she’s not ready to give up on us like she said she was. That she’s not going to bow down to anyone even if the money would have made her life a whole lot easier.

  I shove the envelope in my pocket and take off running toward my truck. When I push through the front doors to the school, I spot Kinsley getting into Carson’s Jeep. Considering how upset she was when she came to my house last night, even saying Carson almost hit her with a book, I’m more than a little surprised she’s already made up with him. Especially before she spoke a single word to me.

  I follow them all the way to the diner, watching as he helps her out, just like I would have done. I hate that he’s trying to take my place, but what I can’t stand even more is the way she’s looking at him. Like she might actually have feelings for the guy.

  He must feel it too because he leans in and kisses her on the forehead like I’ve done so many times. I have to close my eyes it hurts so bad. I’ve been willing to look past their friendship because they have a long history, and I would never ask her to give that up, but the guy I’m watching, loves Kinsley. Problem
is, she’s already mine.

  It takes everything I have to hold myself back—to give them a little space. I manage to wait until he’s back in his Jeep before I haul ass across the parking lot to catch up to her. When I’m close enough, I reach for her arm, slowing her down.

  She jumps, yanking it out of my hand. Once she realizes it’s me, she clutches her stomach. I glance at her hand, wondering if she’s in pain. “Are you okay?”

  Her eyes travel over every inch of my face like she’s memorizing me all over again. Finally, she blinks out of her trance. “I’m fine. What are you doing here?”

  “I need to talk to you. Do you have to work?”

  “No, I’m off, but I missed my shift last night. There’s actually a lot I need to discuss with Betty.”

  As far as I’m concerned, her business is still my business, so I ask, “Like what?”

  “I’m taking a little time off.”

  Finally. I’ve been telling her to do less for weeks. “Good. You should rest more.”

  “Did you follow me here?” she asks, looking around the parking lot for my truck.

  “I got the envelope, and I saw you leaving school, so I followed you. I’ve actually done a lot of thinking, and I came up with this plan. It might not work, but there’s a good chance it could. I wanted to figure it out with you over break.”

  At first she looks intrigued, like she really wants to hear what I have to say, but the hope that quickly appeared fades away when she glances at Carson’s Jeep. “I’m going away for break. With Kate and Wyatt.”

  “Is Carson going?”

  She nods her head. “He’ll be there for most of it. It’s his cabin.”

  I don’t want Carson anywhere near my girl and my baby. “I still want you to stay with me. We can go to my uncle’s place like we talked about. My parents are doing the country club thing—Mom’s not even cooking this year.”

  She chews on her lip, like she really wants to say, yes. Still, something’s holding her back. “Rhett, I can’t. Nothing’s changed, and they’re making me go with them.”

  “But you gave me the money back.”

  “I don’t need money to keep my mouth shut. I won’t spread any vicious rumors. Your mom doesn’t have to worry about me interfering, but I can’t deny where my baby comes from. I just can’t.”

  “I don’t want you to. I’m proud that you’re my baby’s mom—I’m proud that you’re my girlfriend. I’ve told you that since day one.”

  “I know. You never cared what anyone at school thought about us being together. Thank you for that.”

  “I mean every word. I miss you, Sunny. You still love me, too—I know you do.”

  “I never said I didn’t love you, Rhett, but I’m helping you. I may not agree with your mom’s approach, but she said a lot of things that were true. You have so much to look forward to. You would be settling if you stayed here with me. Nobody should have to settle for the rest of their life.”

  “Just like you’re settling for Carson. I saw the way he looks at you. You’ve only ever looked at me that way. It’s me you want, Kinsley. He’s never been your first choice.”

  “It doesn’t matter what I want anymore. The baby and I will be fine. Please, fix things with your mom—before it’s too late. You don’t know how lucky you are to have her.”

  She turns toward the stairs, but I don’t want to leave here without her. “If you think I’m letting you raise our baby with Carson, you’re crazy.”

  She stares at the steps in front of her, her shoulders drooping in defeat. I wait for her to tell me that isn’t what she’s going to do, but she never turns around. She reaches for the banister and walks into the diner like I didn’t just beg her to come back to me.

  If I had a better relationship with my mom, maybe I’d listen to her. I’d go home and convince her that I’m going to marry Kinsley someday. But my mom already has me going away to college where I’ll meet some bitchy girl with a trust fund as big as my own. We’ll fall in love and have two kids, a dog, and a white picket fence around our perfect home.

  And that sounds like complete and total hell.

  I’m tired of being pressured to be someone I don’t want to be. My future won’t be spent at country clubs or fancy parties with horse owners. I like having Dawn to Dark, but even she’s not how I envision my future.

  All I see is Kinsley and our baby.

  THE DRIVE TO the cabin has me completely nauseous. We waited until Carson and Becca had finished their Thanksgiving meals with their families before we loaded up two cars with everything we’ll need for our own Thanksgiving at the cabin.

  Carson leads the way, weaving his way through the last couple miles of the trip. I grip the arm rest, praying I don’t get sick all over his Jeep. “Are we almost there?”

  “Yeah, it’s just up around the bend.”

  It’s already dark outside, and I can’t see two feet in front of us let alone around the bend. I don’t know why, but morning and night seem to be when I feel the worst. The couple hours in the middle of the day are the only thing that make this pregnancy manageable so far.

  “We’re here, Kins.” I open my eyes, clawing the door for the handle. “That bad, huh?”

  “The worst.”

  Once all the bags are inside, Carson points to the bedroom and tells us all to pick one. Of course Becca follows Wyatt, as they’ll be sharing a room. Kate gets the master, and even though there’s two rooms left, Carson follows me into mine.

  “Can I stay with you tonight?” he asks, with his bag slung over his shoulder.

  “That’s not a good idea. Wyatt will flip out.” I have no problem using my brother as an excuse. Truth is, Rhett would flip out, and I don’t want to hurt him anymore than I already have. I’ll have to tell him about the kiss we shared at some point—and I’m already dreading it.

  Carson sighs, obviously unable to disagree with me. Unless he has a death wish, it’s time for him to go to his own room. “Do you need anything before I go to bed?”

  “No.”

  “Why are you so quiet? You barely said two words on the drive here.”

  “I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.” He saw me talking to Rhett outside the diner yesterday–he has to know my head’s still mixed up in that conversation. Rhett’s been on my mind ever since I walked away.

  God, I miss him. Knowing I could have been at his uncle’s cabin instead, makes this trip that much harder.

  “You’re sure you’re okay?”

  “I’m good.”

  He steps closer to me, and my body tenses before he even touches me. “Sweet dreams, Kins,” he says, as he hugs me tightly.

  “Night,” I whisper against his chest, my arms still hanging lifelessly by my sides. Each time Carson touches me, I feel less and less in return. I shouldn’t have ever led him on the night I asked him to hold me. He took my need for comfort as more than it was—and I was feeling so low, I never bothered to correct him.

  He gives me one last glance before pulling the door closed behind him. I sigh with relief, before climbing into my bed. The blanket’s a little scratchy, and the pillow a little lumpy, but I’m thankful for the peace and quiet. Tomorrow will be another full day of family time, and if I want to survive it, I’ll need some sleep.

  Closing my eyes, I think about Fall Fest, and how perfect it was. What it felt like when Rhett touched me, and how much I wanted him. But most importantly, how protected he made me feel—like he would never let anything hurt me.

  Recreating our night is the only way I can fall asleep.

  Around three in the morning, I wake up to go to the bathroom. I use the light from my phone to light up the hallway and notice it’s blinking with a message. I slide my finger across the screen and my stomach does a little somersault when I see Rhett left me a message. Only it’s not one, it’s three—and he’s worried.

  Rhett: Are you at the cabin?

  Rhett: Let me know you’re okay.

  Rhett: Talk to me
.

  I feel bad I never thought to text him, letting him know we got here safely. There’s no way he’s still awake, but I type out a message anyway. At least he’ll see it when he wakes up.

  Kinsley: I’m okay. Sorry. I fell asleep.

  I set the phone on the counter, but it vibrates with a return message right away.

  Rhett: I’ve been freaking out.

  Quickly, I use the bathroom, before hurrying into my room and dialing his number. It barely rings one full time before he picks up. “Sunny?”

  “Hey, um, I guess I wanted to call you so you knew I was okay.”

  “You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice. My head’s been like a horror movie, coming up with all kinds of shit of what could have happened to you.”

  “The ride made me sick, so once we got here, I went right to bed. I just woke up to pee.”

  He laughs, and I realize I could have left that last part out. “You should go back to sleep. It’s still pretty early.”

  “And you should go to bed.”

  “Yeah, now that you’re safe I can.”

  “Rhett,” I pause for a second, wanting to ask him something, but not sure I have the right considering we’re not what we used to be.

  “What is it?”

  “Nothing, I’ve been having trouble falling asleep lately.”

  “Close your eyes,” he says, in a soft, comforting voice. “I’ll stay on the line until you’re asleep.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I’m positive. My girls need some sleep.”

  More flutters hit me from head to toe. “Night, Rhett.”

  “Night, my Sunny-girl.”

  I have no idea how long he stayed on the line, but the call is no longer connected when I wake up a couple hours later. I even check my call log to make sure it wasn’t all a dream, and I’m relieved when I see his text and his name.

  My stomach growls so strongly it’s painful, so I slide out of my itchy bed in search of some breakfast. Carson’s the only one awake, and he’s standing in front of the toaster with a butter knife in his hand.