The Memory Witch

by Wood, Heather Topham

“After the spell is cast, the moon’s reflection on the water will show different fates. Nothing in this world is finite. There are only possibilities. One of the possible futures for you took you down a road full of wrath and hate,” she confessed.

  “If you fulfill that prophecy, it will not end well for you. The witches will make you suffer. They’ll make an example out of you and to do this, they’ll use torture. They’ll make you watch everyone you care about burn before ending your life.” Stella never showed an ounce of fear. The ferocity and terror in her tone made me fear for my life.

  “Stella, I’m not exactly badass witch material. Why would I suddenly go all commando and start hurting people?”

  She swallowed hard and gave me a meaningful look. My voice was trembling as I questioned, “It’s about my childhood, isn’t it?”

  “You can’t let a moment of hate produce a lifetime of misery,” she advised.

  My palms were sweating. I wiped the sweat onto my shorts as I asked, “If I’m destined to go down this path, then why have you decided to give back my memories today?”

  “I saw another path,” she admitted, “A path where you’re able to fall in love and use that love to get through the pain of your past.”

  In went unsaid that the person was Mason and I hid a smile behind my hand. I couldn’t completely process what she was saying, but this sentiment felt true. I was giving Mason more and more of my heart everyday and I liked the idea that he would be in my future and would stand by me as I dealt with the fallout from my recovered memories.

  “Then that’s the path I’ll take,” I said decidedly.

  “I wish I was sure of that,” Stella sighed. She pulled at the hem of the blanket. “I have the ingredients prepared for the spell. Tonight, I’ll perform the cast before you go to sleep. The memories will come flooding back as you dream and by morning you’ll remember everything.”

  “What about the offering?”

  Her stormy eyes clouded over. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it.”

  “How?”

  “Don’t question me,” Stella snapped. In a way it was good to see some of her fire back. “I’ll call your mother and ask her to stay the night. She’ll help you get through it.”

  I shook my head emphatically. “I don’t want her here.”

  “Quinn, you need her. Believe me, this isn’t going to be easy…”

  I interjected, “She’ll try to talk me out of it. I also don’t want her there for me when it’s partially her fault I’m in this situation. I’m tired of her lies.”

  “Quinn, I’m not well and you need someone there for you. If not your mother, then I must insist Mason stay with you.” The steel in her voice left no room for argument. To be honest, I was fine with this scenario. The thought of being alone to face the demons of the past held little appeal.

  ***

  As the sun set, Mason was waiting in my room. Stella had given me a mile long list of chores for the day—probably to distract me from what was laid ahead of me. Sprawled out on my bed, Mason looked achingly beautiful. I crawled over the quilt and settled into his waiting arms.

  He was still and tense. We sat in a comfortable silence that I was content to stay in for a little while longer.

  Finally, he spoke, “Aunt Stella sent me with the potion.”

  He pulled a vial out of his pocket. The vial looked like it would hold less than an ounce of liquid. The purple decorative glass sparkled as it reflected the light from my bedside lamp. It was wondrous to think that such a small thing held my future in its grasp. Mason added, “You’re to drink this and go to bed. She performed the enchantment earlier today. With her being sick, the spell took a lot out of her so she already turned in for the night.”

  “You’ll stay with me?” I winced at the vulnerability in my voice, but pushed down my embarrassment over being needy.

  “Of course,” he agreed as he passed the vial over to me. His hand tightened over it as I settled my fingers over the glass. “Are you sure about this, Quinn?”

  “Yes, I’ll be fine,” I promised.

  I was horribly wrong.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  I was drowning in a sea of lost remembrances. The dam burst and I was awash in moments that I never knew existed. The tragic recollections screamed to be revisited and I wasn’t able to block out the memories, no matter how much I wanted to.

  ***

  I knew the rules. Never go into the woods alone.

  Mom had sent me outside because her and Dad were arguing. She told me to go play in the backyard. Their screams were too loud and I could still hear them as I careened back and forth listlessly on the swing. The woods offered so much more than my outdated playset. It offered mystery, adventure, and an escape.

  The forest behind our development seemed endless to my eight-year-old brain. I crafted adventures in my head of all the magical creatures that lived there. In my imagination, my trek would lead to encounters with unicorns, fairies, and gnomes. I picked up a stick and pretended to swordfight with an evil magician who plotted to kidnap the princess.

  I peeked through the treetops and saw the sun high in the sky. I craned my neck and squinted up at the crows that flew overhead. Sometimes, I wished I could fly. Just to leave for a little while and maybe visit somewhere amazing like Disney World. I mimicked the caw of the crows. Spreading my arms out, I darted deeper into the forest. My red jacket was unzipped and flew out behind me. The waterproof material was glossy and sunlight reflected off of the material. I stopped short when I saw three figures in a clearing with their backs turned to me.

  They each spun around at my noisy entrance into their space. The three boys were older than me and had the gangly look of being in their early teens. They stood in a semi-circle with a pack of cigarettes in the center. Two of the boys had lit cigarettes dangling from their lips. They glared at me before dropping the cigarettes and stomping them out with the heels of their sneakers.

  “Sorry,” I mumbled. It was easy to pick up the vibe that I was an unwanted guest. I figured they had sneaked out to smoke and worried I would rat them out to their parents. I turned to go.

  “Wait,” a male voice rumbled behind me. The tallest of the boys had hurried to my standpoint. He gripped my arm and attempted to drag me back towards the other boys.

  I glared at him. His fingers felt rough on my skin and I took a second to look him over with disdain. His complexion was ruddy with acne and his black hair was greasy and worn in a longish style that partially concealed his eyes.

  The other two boys looked alike and I guessed that they could be brothers. They had blondish brown hair with bright green eyes that stared at their friend with curiosity. All of the boys had on collared polo shirts with matching khakis pants.

  “What are you doing, Benji?” the younger of the brothers asked the boy who dragged me to where they stood.

  “Let me go!” I commanded.

  Benji snickered and released me. The suddenness of the movement forced me to the ground with a plop. I wiped at my grass stained jeans to remove the dirt.

  “Will you calm down? I thought you would want to hang with us.”

  I cast an uncertain glance behind me towards my house. “I probably should be getting home.”

  “Come on. We were just about to go to my house to play video games. Why don’t you come with?” Benji asked. His smile didn’t reach his eyes as he invited me over. I had my doubts over why three older boys would want me to include me.

  The elder brother shot him a disbelieving look, mirroring my disbelief. “She’s just a kid. Why would we want to invite some brat over?”

  “Cam, you’re not being very nice at all,” Benji accused. He looked down at me as he spoke to the boys. “I bet she can be lots of fun.”

  “I’m awesome at video games,” I added. I wanted these boys to like me. They were older and I didn’t have a lot of friends in our neighborhood. All of the kids at Carlton Elementary would die with jealousy when they saw
me hanging with boys old enough to go to middle school or high school.

  “See, we’ll go to my house and have a good time. Do you have a name?”

  “Quinn,” I answered quickly.

  “Well, let’s go then,” he said.

  Benji took me by the hand and led me farther away from my house. The more we walked, the more uncertain I grew over my hasty decision to take off with the boys. They were strangers and I’d had “stranger danger” lectures often enough to know that bad things could happen when you trust the wrong person. My parents were going to flip when they checked out back and realized I wasn’t there.

  “I gotta go. It was nice to meet you, but I’m not allowed this far from my house,” I said and stopped in my tracks.

  “But you just said you’re good at video games,” Benji reminded me. “You obviously want to show off.”

  “No, I don’t think so,” I countered. I spun around to leave and began to march away from Benji.

  “Grab her,” Benji bellowed to the brothers who stood in my path.

  “What the hell, Benji? Why?” Cam shouted back to him.

  “Do it,” Benji hissed.

  Without further hesitation, Cam and his brother jumped towards me. They wrestled with me and my jacket was torn off of my body in the struggle. The hue of the jacket contrasted with the forest floor and I hoped it could help guide my parents to wherever the boys were taking me. Cam held my arms behind my back as I struggled while his brother tried to stop my kicking legs.

  Panic set in. This was bad. I screamed. As I gathered my breath to let out another shriek, Benji’s hand clamped down over my mouth. I attempted to bite him, but he only pressed with more force to keep my jaw locked in place.

  “Danny, can’t you stop her kicking?” Benji asked forcibly as I continued to buck.

  Fear coursed through my veins. The boys handled me brutally at Benji’s command. I was only eight, but my survival instincts had given me the strength to fight them off as hard as possible. My foot connected with Danny’s jaw more than once and made a satisfying crunching noise. Danny’s face flooded with rage and he spat at me.

  Before I could grasp what was happening, we had arrived in front of a storm door. Benji pulled up on the metal handle and I cringed at the dungeon like appearance of the cellar stairs. Adrenaline made me wrench free momentarily out of the hold Cam and Danny had me in. I cried out in pain as my knees connected with the ground. Scrambling on my hands and knees through the fallen leaves, I made it only a couple of feet before Benji picked me up by waist. For a skinny and lanky teenager, he seemed abnormally strong. It only made me more horrified over his possible plans for me in the basement.

  My shoes were dislodged as he dragged me down the concrete stairs. The brothers picked them up before shutting the door behind them. The creak of the door shutting was one of the most terrifying sounds I had ever heard.

  We were momentarily plunged into darkness. A few seconds later, Danny pulled down on a cord to turn on a single light bulb. Long shadows were cast across the dank smelling basement and the crawly things that skittered and slithered around petrified my overactive eight-year-old imagination.

  The boys dragged me into one of the corners of the room. A mattress was set on the ground in front of a TV hooked up with a game console. Empty soda cans, candy wrappers and video game cases littered the area. “Cam, grab that sock and shove it in her mouth,” Benji instructed his friend.

  I could see the uncertainty on Cam’s face over the task. I used my eyes to plead with him. Please don’t do this. God, please help me. Cam met my eyes for a second. Benji’s harsh voice forced him to break contact. “Cam, now! Stop being such a pussy!”

  Benji held me down onto the mattress. Cam came up behind him and stuck the moist sock into my mouth. It choked me. I gagged, but Benji pressed his palm against the fabric to keep it in place.

  I fought harder. I shook my head side to side and kicked out wildly. I clawed at their skin with my fingernails and hoped to make them bleed. I was feral and these boys would not stop my escape. The first blow shocked me into submission.

  Benji’s fist connected with my face. I was dizzy from the ferocity of the punch that landed squarely on my jaw. His rank breath rained down on me as he spoke. “Listen, I have a hunting knife that I keep down here. If you don’t stop fighting me, I’m going to use it to perform a live autopsy on you. I’ll cut into you while you’re still alive and you’ll watch me rip out your body parts.”

  “Jesus Christ, she’s only a kid,” Danny mumbled.

  Benji turned his hatred onto his friends while still pressing down on me with his body weight. “Two pussies, the both of you,” Benji said and shook his head in disgust. “Lydia Nelson is going to laugh right in your face when you have a limp dick because you have no clue on how to fuck a girl.”

  “You’re out of your damn mind, Benji. What do you plan to do? Have us practice on a little girl?” Cam asked incredulously.

  “Why the hell not?”

  “Because it’s sick, dude,” Danny replied.

  Tears rolled down my face. I could barely focus on their words. I prayed and prayed that someone, anyone would help me. I had no idea what they had intended for me. All I knew was I wanted my mom and dad. I wanted to be back in the safety of my own home. My parents could yell all night for all I cared. Anything was better than having these boys kill me by ripping my insides out with Benji’s knife.

  “Who’s first?” Benji taunted the brothers.

  “Whatever, I’m not playing your sick games,” Cam said with disdain.

  “Pathetic losers,” Benji spat at them. “I should’ve known the two of you were gutless and couldn’t bang a girl if your life depended on it.” He added, “Don’t either of you talk to me ever again. You can go back to sitting at the loser table at lunch with the rest of the school rejects. I’ll be sure to tell everyone what homos you both turned out to be.”

  The boys looked at each other and a coldness shot through to my heart. Their similar features were contorted in the same resigned expression. They were going to submit to whatever sick plans Benji had for me.

  “You’re an asshole,” Cam seethed. Cam’s fingers fumbled over the button to his pants. He unzipped his pants and shoved them down to his ankles.

  “That’s my boy,” Benji said with glee. He moved his head towards Danny. “Take off her pants and then pin her legs down.”

  Danny’s hands seemed to move in slow motion towards my small body. My brain could not make sense of what was happening. I was a child. I still watched cartoons in my pajamas and slurped cereal with milk. This was wrong and should not be happening to a little girl.

  Danny pressed down roughly on my belly to keep me in place. It took a few tries, but he was able to undo the buckles on my jeans. In one quick swoop, my jeans and panties were pulled off of me. Although I was a kid, I knew another rule besides “stranger danger.” My parents had also taught me “privates stay private.”

  Cam kneeled in front of me. I shut my eyes and tried to hide within myself. A thousand thoughts danced in my brain. I tried to hold onto them and think about anything, but this. I craved to get lost in my imagination and block out the excruciating pain that ripped through me and forget about the wrongness of what was happening to me. I grasped at my dreams of swordfights with dragons or the rides on a back of a unicorn. The images floated away too quickly and I would be brought back to reality, a reality where a grunting teenager used his body as a weapon against me.

  “I’m sorry about this,” Cam stated in a dull voice once the pain had stopped. I hated his apology. I hated the regret in his face. I hated him more than anything in this entire world. I was torn apart from the inside out. I could feel the blood gushing down my legs and seeping into the mattress below.

  “You’re up, Danny,” Benji encouraged the younger brother. Oh god, I lamented, it wasn’t over. There was more to come. Each boy would have his turn until I wouldn’t be able to bear it anymore. There
was no surviving this.

  Cam and Danny switched spots. Danny didn’t bother apologizing. He wouldn’t even look at me as he undressed. My tears and blood were not enough to convince them to stop this assault. They had set out to defile my body and I would find no relief until the act was completed.

  By no surprise, Benji was the most vicious of the three. I thought by then I would be numb to the pain, but it wasn’t the case. He took his time to degrade my battered and broken body. Relishing in every whimper he heard muffled through the sock.

  I made hundreds of wishes that day in the basement. I wished to disappear—my body dissolving into the mattress until I no longer existed. I wished for a bomb to drop on the house and obliterate us all. I wished most of all to go back in time and never ever go near the woods.

  By the end, I couldn’t even gather the courage to be afraid of my death. They had broken my spirit so completely that I was zombie-like. My heart may have been beating, but for all intents and purposes I was dead inside. I had no fight in me as they put my panties and jeans back on. I didn’t react as Benji hauled me over his shoulder and up the stairs out of the basement. I had no response once he dropped me in the middle of the woods and hissed in my ear, “Tell anyone and we’ll kill you and your entire family.” Instead, I closed my eyes and let the world slip away.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  My parents had found me that day about a hundred yards from our backyard. By then, the police had been notified of my disappearance. An eight-year-old missing for hours warranted a quick response by authorities. The alarm grew once my jacket was discovered on the forest floor. The police found me unresponsive in the same spot that the boys had deposited me. The relief of my parents and rescuers did nothing to draw me out of my stupor.

  There was no need for Benji to make that threat. My bloodied jeans and underwear was a beacon of truth about what had happened to me. I was whisked away to the hospital while I stared blankly at the faces that shouted question after question at me.