Mrs. February

by Karen Cimms

Chapter Sixty-Seven

  Rain cried so hard and so long that I finally gave her a tranquilizer—prescribed, ironically, back when Preston first laid this bombshell on her—then put her to bed. My heart was breaking as well, but it would do no good for both of us to fall apart. I promised her we would get through this, and we would, although I didn’t have a fucking clue how.

  After taking care of Rain, the next thing I wanted to do was to track Preston down and beat the shit out of him, something I should have done five years ago when he sent her the damn flowers after she and I had started dating. Of course that wouldn’t have changed anything because she’d already been pregnant.

  She’d already been pregnant.

  Pregnant by a man she had once loved. I’d known the whole time she was pregnant that this was a possibility. Yet once Zac was born—even before, really—I thought of him as mine. I saw myself in him, convinced myself that the color of his hair and his mannerisms were mine.

  Other than beating Preston to a pulp, what could I have changed? Would I have wanted to miss any of this if I’d known from the start that Zac wasn’t mine?

  No fucking way.

  My blood pressure began to lower.

  We could do this. Neither Rain nor I would have chosen an alternative that would have meant no Zac. Like she said, she never regretted sleeping with her high school boyfriend because he gave her Izzy. How could we regret her knowing Preston if he gave us Zac? It didn’t mean that I didn’t still want to pulverize him or that I wanted to hand my son over to him, but it showed me I could deal with the reality.

  Now I just needed to convince my wife.

  After looking in on Rain to make sure she was still asleep, I took the dog for a quick walk, then heated up some leftovers for dinner. I was cleaning up when the kids came in with Dorinda, Zac loudly calling for Thor, who came skittering through the kitchen, barking and jumping.

  “Hey!” I whisper-yelled. “Your mother’s sleeping.”

  “Sleeping?” Dorinda looked at her watch. “It’s seven thirty.”

  “She’s not feeling well. I’m not sure if she’ll be in tomorrow.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I think she’s just run down after the holidays. She probably needs a couple days to regenerate.”

  “Can I show her the picture I drew of Thor?” Zac asked.

  “Not right now, buddy. Maybe in the morning. Go get ready for bed, and I’ll come read you a story.”

  “I’ll do it,” Izzy offered. I kissed the top of her head. “Thanks, sweetie. I’d appreciate that.”

  “Is Rain okay?” Dorinda asked after the kids left the kitchen. “She’s been kind of jittery the last couple days, but she didn’t seem sick.”

  “She’ll be fine. I think she might just need a couple days to rest.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

  “Really, she’ll be fine.”

  “That didn’t answer my question.” She was as tenacious as her daughter.

  I just shrugged and told her again that Rain would be fine.

  As it was, Rain slept on and off for nearly two days. I figured that on top of the lab results, the past year had caught up with her. I did little more than hold her while she slept and comfort her when she cried.

  Zac had a play date after school on Thursday. When I got home, Rain was awake but in bed, staring at the television.

  I lay down beside her. “What are you watching?”

  “Judge Judy.”

  “Hoping to gain some free legal advice?” I asked, trying to tease a smile out of her.

  “Let’s hope so. I called Irena today and quit. I told her I was sorry, but it was just too much for me.”

  “You didn’t have to do that because of me.”

  “I know, but you don’t want me bartending, and to be honest, I’m tired of it. And with you giving up the apartment, that’s one less expense we have to carry.” A spark of amusement flickered behind the cloudy blue of her eyes. “You are planning to give up the apartment, right?”

  “Yeah, that was in the works anyway.”

  “Were you and Callie buying a house?”

  “No. And please, let’s not talk about any of that, okay?”

  “I’m sorry.” She shimmied up against me and tucked herself into my side.

  “And I don’t want you to worry about money. I’m selling the motorcycle.”

  She jerked out from under my arm. “You can’t do that. You love that bike.”

  “I love my family more. Besides, I never ride anymore. I’m a dad, remember? Dads don’t ride Harleys.”

  “Yes, they do. And you’re a hot dad. Hot dads ride bikes.”

  I kissed her on the temple and tried to change the subject. “Did you eat anything today?”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  “You need to eat. Your mom sent over some Italian wedding soup. I’m gonna heat it up for you, and then I have to go pick Zac up at Paul’s.”

  She made a face, but she promised to try.

  When I returned about an hour later, Rain was asleep and Izzy was on the bed next to her, finishing her homework. She slipped off the bed and followed me into the hall.

  I took the soup bowl from where she’d balanced it on top of her textbooks. The bowl was still nearly full. “Has she been asleep all this time?”

  She shut the door quietly behind us. “I brought her the soup, but she only took a little bit and said that was all she wanted. Then she went back to sleep.” She leaned to the side and peeked around me. “Where’s Zac?”

  “He’s getting into the shower, why?”

  “Is Mom going to be okay?”

  I slipped my arm around her shoulder. “Of course she is. She’s just not feeling well.”

  “I’m not stupid. I know what’s going on.”

  I pulled back, bracing myself for what she had to say.

  “C’mon, Dad. An allergy test? I learned about DNA in my science class, and I’ve seen them do about a thousand cheek swabs on those TV crime shows.”

  “I warned your mother you were watching too much TV.”

  She frowned and rolled her eyes. “Anyway, I overheard you and Mom talking one night. I didn’t mean to, but I heard Mom crying and I was just afraid you and she—”

  “We’re fine. Don’t you worry about anything.”

  “I know.” Izzy took a few steps toward her room, then turned around. “Dad?”

  “What, sweetheart?”

  “I remember him. He’d come around now and then. He was always nice to me. He’d make me laugh. He’d even read to me. He likes kids.”

  I had an almost irrational desire to tell her to knock it off and go to her room.

  “He’s not you, but I think he’d make an okay father.” She gave me a crooked smile. “You’re a great dad—the best. If I had a choice and could pick anyone to be my father, I’d pick you. Hands down.”

  Tears pricked at my eyes. I kissed her on the top of the head.

  “And Dad,” she added, “so would Zac. Hands down. It’s going to be okay. The rest of it is just biology.”

  I had a hard time speaking over the lump in my throat.

  “How’d you get to be so wise?”

  She grinned. “Fifty percent nature, fifty percent nurture. It’s all that matters.”

  Chapter Sixty-Eight

  Some time during the night, I felt Rain press herself against me. My eyes fluttered as her hand slid across my stomach. They flew open the rest of the way when she slipped her hand under the waistband of my pajama pants and found what she was looking for. Considering she had cried herself to sleep, I wasn’t anticipating an amorous interlude anytime soon.

  Maybe I was having a sex dream.

  “Are you awake?” she whispered.

  Parts of me were more awake than others. “I am now.”

  “I want another baby.”

  The part of me that had risen first must have drawn all of the blood from my head,
because I thought she just said she wanted to get pregnant. I closed my eyes, certain I was still asleep. Her fingers gripped tighter.

  Nope. Definitely awake.

  I flicked on the light.

  “What?” I wiped the sleep from my eyes.

  Clearly more awake than I was, not to mention naked, Rain sat up.

  “I want another baby.”

  It was hard to disagree with Rain when she was naked, especially from this angle, so I pulled her down on top of me.

  “If this is about me, I’m okay. As far as I’m concerned, Izzy and Zac are mine. No lab test is going to change that. So maybe I couldn’t give Zac a kidney, but I’d make damn sure someone else would, even if I had to wrench it from the son of a bitch’s back with my bare hands without benefit of anesthesia.”

  “I still want to make a baby.” She began planting kisses down my belly, and then—

  “You’re not going to get pregnant that way,” I pointed out, fully awake now that her warm, wet mouth had closed around me. I groaned. “But we can discuss it when you’re finished.”

  A short time later, after she’d draped herself over my body and I’d kissed her several times, I rolled her over onto her back.

  “Even if I were to agree—and I’m not, right at this moment—aren’t you on the pill?”

  “Uh-huh.” She kissed my neck and scooted her nose over my chest.

  “Then how are you planning to get pregnant right at this moment?”

  “I guess I’m not.” She smiled. “But right now, I need you.”

  So I did my best to give her what she needed.

  “Is Mommy going to be okay?” Zac sounded much more worried than any four-and-a-half-year-old had a right to be.

  “Dad says she’s just a little tired,” Izzy answered confidently. “Remember, she was working a lot before he came home. Now that he’s here, she can rest. She’s just catching up on her sleep.”

  It was a day after Rain had woken me in the middle of the night to tell me she wanted another baby. I’d taken Thor for a walk around the neighborhood and was just coming in to read to Zac before bed, but Izzy had beat me to it. I shifted my weight quietly outside his bedroom door.

  “Now, instead of reading one of your books tonight, can I read you a story I wrote?”

  “But Daddy was supposed to read more from my dinosaur book.”

  “I know. He can read that to you tomorrow night. How about I read you my story tonight? It will be a big help to me.” Talking Zac out of a dinosaur book was a difficult task.

  “What’s it about?” I could imagine his dubious little face all scrunched up.

  “A beautiful farmer’s daughter, a prince, and a fisherman.”

  “A farmer’s daughter? Are there any dinosaurs?”

  I pressed a hand against my mouth to hide my laugh.

  “No, but there’s a fisherman. You like fishing.”

  “Okay. But if I don’t like it, you have to read me a chapter from my dinosaur book.”

  “Deal.” The chair dragged across the carpet as she settled.

  “Are there pictures?”

  “No, but tell you what. I’ll help you imagine what everyone looks like in your head.”

  “Okay,” Zac said with a dramatic sigh. He was doing this because he loved his sister. Nothing more.

  “Once upon a time, there was a farmer who raised vegetables to feed the entire village. He had a beautiful daughter. She had long blond hair and big blue eyes.”

  “Like Mommy?”

  “Exactly. And just as beautiful.”

  “The farmer’s daughter worked in the fields every day, helping the farmer grow his vegetables.”

  “What was her name?”

  “Um, Sunshine.”

  In the hallway, I rolled my lips together.

  “One day, the prince rode up to the farm on his big white horse to buy some vegetables.”

  “He went shopping for his own vegetables?” Zac asked. “Don’t princes have maids to shop for them?”

  “The maid was busy that day. And the prince was an enlightened prince. He liked to help around the castle.”

  “Oh. What’s enlightened mean?”

  “Zac. Just listen to the story.”

  Zac gave a small harrumph.

  “The prince was passing the farm and offered to pick up vegetables for the castle, since it was on his way home from the jousting match. When he climbed down from his horse, he saw the farmer’s beautiful daughter gathering tomatoes in a large basket. The prince wasn’t at all shy. He just walked up to her and introduced himself, but he didn’t tell her he was a prince because he didn’t want her to be nervous or frightened.”

  “What was the prince’s name?”

  “Charming. Prince Charming.”

  “I think I’ve heard of him.”

  Damn, I wished I could be recording this.

  “Yeah, that’s the one. Prince Charming thought that Sunshine was the most beautiful girl in all of his kingdom, maybe even the world. Every day, he would ride to the farm and buy more vegetables just so he could see the beautiful girl. Sunshine liked the prince. He was very nice to her, and he smiled a lot. And he always paid top dollar for her vegetables. Sunshine fell in love with the prince, and he fell in love with her too.

  “Then one day, the prince stopped coming around. It turned out that although he had fallen in love with the farmer’s daughter, his father, the king, insisted he marry a princess from another land.

  “Sunshine was very sad. It was hard for her to work in the fields, taking care of the crops, because she would think of the prince, who no longer came to buy her vegetables. To get her mind off the prince, she took long walks after she finished working in the field. Sometimes she would walk as far as the river. One day, she came upon a handsome fisherman. He was even more handsome than the prince, very tall and strong. His hair was the color of the wheat that grew in the field near her vegetables, and his eyes were the same blue as the sea.”

  “Like Daddy,” Zac said.

  “Exactly. Just as handsome as Daddy. When the fisherman saw Sunshine walking near the water, he fell in love with her at first sight, even though she looked so sad. One day he followed her home and brought her a fish that he had caught. Being a nice girl who had very good manners, she invited him to come and eat the fish with her and her father. After that, the handsome fisherman came every day and brought her a fish. The beautiful girl cooked the fish and some of her vegetables, and soon she realized that she loved the fisherman even more than she had ever loved the prince.”

  She was doing a pretty good job, but Zac yawned. “That’s a good story. I like fishermen more than princes.”

  “I’m not done. The fisherman asked the beautiful daughter if she would be his wife, and she said yes. Not long after they were married, Sunshine was walking to the river to bring her husband his lunch when she heard a baby crying. She looked into the tall grass and found a baby in a basket. She brought it home, and she and the fisherman loved the baby and took care of it and called it their own.”

  “What did they name the baby?”

  “I don’t know. What do you think I should I call him?”

  “How about Jake, like Jake and the Neverland Pirates?”

  “Perfect. They named the baby Jake. One day after Jake had grown a little older and was walking and talking and playing in the field next to his mother, the prince had to come to the farm to buy vegetables because his new maid couldn’t come and his wife—well, she was a princess, and princesses never shop for their own vegetables. Anyway, when Prince Charming saw little Jake, he asked Sunshine where the boy had come from. She told him that Jake was her son. Then the prince told her that one day, his old maid had gotten mad at the princess and taken their son, the little prince, and stolen him away from the castle. He had been gone for almost four years.”

  I stood riveted outside the bedroom door. I wasn’t sure what she was trying to do. I didn’t believe she would be trying to scare Zac
, but I wasn’t sure exactly where her story was going.

  “Sunshine was scared. She and the fisherman loved little Jake, so she told the prince that Jake was her own child and that he belonged to her and the fisherman. But the prince didn’t believe Sunshine, so he called the royal lawyers and the king, and they demanded that Sunshine and the fisherman return the baby.”

  I considered stepping in, but I trusted Izzy. I just hoped to god she knew where this was leading her little brother.

  “Although the prince and the king ruled the country, they were fair rulers. They had a court of law, just like we have here, where a judge would listen to both sides of the story and then try to make a fair and wise decision.”

  “What did the judge do?”

  “What do you think he should have done?”

  “I think Jake should live with his mother and his father.” There was a touch of anxiety in his voice. I pressed myself against the wall and struggled to allow Izzy to finish what she’d started.

  “But if the prince was really Jake’s father, should he be punished and not allowed to see his son?”

  “I guess not. Wait—what if Jake could live with both of them?” By the squeak of the bedsprings, I could tell he had probably sat up. “He could stay with his mommy and daddy during the week, and then maybe on weekends he could visit the prince at his castle. Remember, like we used to go see Daddy when he didn’t want to live with us anymore?”

  Oof. That was a kick in the stomach, although there was no animosity in his statement. If that’s what he believed, I’d have to make sure he understood that had never been the case.

  Turns out I needn’t have worried.

  “Zac,” Izzy’s voice took on a motherly tone, “that isn’t what happened. Mom and Dad had a big misunderstanding, but I don’t think there was ever a time that Daddy didn’t really want to be with us. He always loved us—you know that. And he loved Mommy. Grown-ups can just be really weird sometimes. Don’t ever think that he didn’t want to be with us, and don’t say that to him either, okay?”

  “Okay.” He yawned again, louder this time. “Finish the story.”

  “Well, it turns out you’re right. The judge decided that the best thing for everybody, especially Jake, was to have all of his parents. And because all his parents loved him very, very much, they all agreed. So in the end, little Jake had lots of people who loved him and cared for him, and he was very happy.”