Reasonable Insanity

by Cynthia Freeman Gibbs

  “I’ll do it, Mama.” Simone bowed her head. “Dear Lord, thank you for this yummy food Mama has prepared for us to eat. Let it be nourishing to our bodies and thanks for letting me get the big Cornish hen tonight. In Jesus name. Amen.”

  Olivia laughed. “Child. You’re too funny and thank you for saying the grace. Christian, what Bible verse do you want to say before we eat?”

  Still upset about the Cornish hen, Christian cut his eyes at Simone and mumbled, “Romans 2nd chapter, 8th verse: But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger.”

  “Mom. He’s being mean. Don’t be wishing wrath and anger on me,” Simone complained.

  “Christian. Quit using scriptures to get back at your sister. That’s not very nice. Stop worrying about the food. The Cornish hens are all the same size. Now let’s eat,” Olivia said.

  “Hey Mom, where’s Dad?” Christian asked with his mouth full of food.

  “Christian, stop talking with your mouth full,” Olivia responded when they heard the key in the back door and Malcolm strolled in on cue.

  “Daddy,” Simone screamed, running from her chair to Malcolm for a hug.

  “Hey, baby girl. How’s my princess doing?” Malcolm hugged her back, lifting her off the ground to twirl her around.

  “Don’t spin her too much Malcolm. She’s eating and will get sick if you keep doing that,” Olivia warned.

  “I’m fine, Mama. I love it, Daddy.” Simone giggled when Malcolm spun her around one more time before putting her down. Smiling, she wobbled with dizziness back to the table.

  Malcolm walked into the dining room to ruffle Christian’s miniature afro and give him a fist bump. “Hey, big man. Are you getting enough to eat, son?”

  “Yeah, but Simone got the biggest Cornish hen. I should be the one with the largest piece. I need more protein for my muscles.” Christian flexed his puny arms. “See Dad. Aren’t they big now? I’ve been doing pushups like you told me to.”

  “Yes, son. I can see they are bigger. Keep it up, and you’ll be strong like me before you know it.” Malcolm flexed his bicep muscles, which bulged under his new shirt. Christian eyes grew huge in admiration of his Dad’s arms.

  Olivia noticed Malcolm put his keys on the counter and started to walk toward the stairwell. “Aren’t you going to eat?” she asked, a little taken aback that he hadn’t even kissed her like he normally did when he got home.

  “Oh, no, honey. I got together with the boys. We stopped out to get wings and beer after we played golf tonight. I meant to call you. The time got away from me,” Malcolm said and headed upstairs.

  Stunned by Malcolm’s answer, Olivia jumped from the table and followed him to the stairwell. “You’ve been gone since the crack of dawn. It’s been more than twelve hours since you left.”

  “Yeah, it wasn’t planned. One of my boys is going through some things. He needed to talk and get it off his chest. You know I had to be there for him. What’s the big deal?” Malcolm paused on the stairs and turned around to glare at Olivia.

  “What’s the big deal? I can’t believe you asked me that question. Malcolm, the big deal is you stayed out all day long. You haven’t spent any time with the kids. You could’ve at least had the decency to call to let me know you were going to miss dinner. I didn’t know if something happened to you or what. When I called you, I got your voicemail. Why didn’t you let me know?”

  “Woman, will you get off my back? How many times do I have to tell you, it wasn’t planned? I needed to be there for my boy,” Malcolm snapped before turning and stomping into the room. She started following him up the stairs. “Why do you have a nervous breakdown about stupid stuff? I ain’t one of the kids. I don’t have to tell you every single thing I do. Now, I’m going to shower. I’ll come downstairs when I’m done.”

  Olivia stopped in her tracks on the stairs, hurt from his tone of voice and chosen words. Her heart now fluttered from brokenness at that moment. She couldn’t think of any more words to say when he walked into the bedroom and slammed the door.

  CHAPTER 42

  The sun broke through the horizon. The sky turned a brilliant reddish-orange color. Olivia longed for the ray of light in what seemed to be the darkness of her life. She lounged in a chair on the veranda in her yellow silk robe. Chirps of the birds in the otherwise peaceful, early morning, interrupted her deep thought about the argument with Malcolm the night before.

  Everyone else remained asleep when she arose to meditate and plan her week. She decided not to bother the kids about going to church since a ball of anxiety remained clenched in her chest from Malcolm’s words.

  She took a few sips of her lukewarm, strong, black coffee and wondered what needed to happen to get her marriage back on track.

  Olivia rested her head on the back of the chair and closed her eyes. She began analyzing Malcolm’s behavior. Perhaps I should think of him as one of my patients and evaluate his actions.

  First, it’s ridiculous he refuses to go with me to any type of marriage or financial counseling. For some reason, he thinks it opens the door for people to meddle in our business. Just because I know a lot of professionals in the industry, doesn’t mean our family secrets would end up publicized. My goodness. I can’t believe his solution for everything is, I need to stop nagging him and get off his back.

  Let me think this through. Is there anything Malcolm has done to show he even cares about me and the family anymore? I guess he’s taken on more responsibility by suggesting he handle paying the phone bill each month. Hmmm. That ain’t much, but I guess it’s something. Oh yeah, he did begin managing the reconciliation of our bank account since I hate balancing a checkbook. He probably only wants to do it to keep me from getting on him about how much money he’s spending.

  But why is he away from home more now? He’s leaving the house earlier in the morning and staying out later each night. I know he claims he’s working on building his business, but, is he really spending this much time at networking breakfast meetings and evening happy hours? Perhaps I could believe it if I witnessed the fruit of his extra labor in the form of a paycheck. If only something consistent would come in. Then maybe I will develop confidence in his business and know our future is secure.

  Olivia recalled a conversation one morning when she entered the bedroom…

  Malcolm was fixing his tie in the mirror and whistling. She hadn’t heard him whistle in years.

  “Good morning. What’s that smell? Is that cologne?” She sniffed and walked toward him.

  “Oh. Hey. It sure is. Do you like it?” He glanced at her reflection.

  “It’s a bit strong, but it smells nice. Since when did you start wearing cologne again? I thought it messed with your allergies?”

  “I must’ve grown out of it. Maybe, the stuff you were buying me had the wrong combination of scents.” He finished with his tie and gave himself a look of approval in the mirror.

  “Where are you going so early? You beat me getting up today. I sense a high level of energy.” Olivia observed.

  “Ginseng, baby. You should try it. I have an important breakfast meeting with a potential client. Great way to start the day with new money coming in.” Malcolm turned away and put his wallet in his pants pocket.

  “Is that a new suit? I haven’t seen this one before.” Olivia stepped closer and rubbed his arm. “Malcolm, I can tell this is expensive. Why are you buying more clothes?”

  “Baby, you know I have to be on point from head to toe if you want me to bring in the dough.”

  Olivia huffed in exasperation. “What a lame excuse. Just another reason to keep shopping with money you don’t have.”

  As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew she hurt Malcolm to the core.

  “I’m out.” Malcolm left the room without kissing her goodbye.

  Olivia raised her head and opened her eyes. Now the sun’s radiance fell across her lap.

  “Could Malcolm be cheating on m
e? Is that why he’s treating me the way he is? No. Stop it. I have to stop thinking the worst. It’s making me mad again. God gave me a good man. We have to just work through our problems,” she mumbled.

  Olivia breathed in deeply through her nostrils, taking in the cool, morning air and letting it out slowly. She repeated this breathing exercise five times. The sound of Malcolm’s alarm clock buzzed when she let go of her final breath. She stood from her lounger and slipped on her slippers. She leaned her head back and extended her arms to the sky in an awakening stretch. She was ready to face another day.

  CHAPTER 43

  Olivia stepped through the sliding door into the guest bedroom. Originally, she planned to sleep in the same bed and follow Savvy’s advice. However, after the fight with Malcolm, she’d actually spared him from being punched in the throat while he slept by her choosing to sleep in a different room.

  After showering, Olivia put on a pair of jeans, a yellow t-shirt, and her white slippers to go wake the kids.

  “Christian,” she knocked on his bedroom door. “Are you up?”

  “Yes, Mom. I already took my shower. I can’t wait to go to SeaWorld.” His excitement permeated through the door.

  Olivia laughed. “Well, all right. Glad you are ready to go. I’m going to check on your sister.”

  “I’m downstairs, Mom. I already ate cereal,” Simone’s voice floated from the kitchen. “By the way, Dad left for the golf course.”

  “Okay, thanks for passing on the message, dear.” Olivia sighed and headed downstairs just when the doorbell rang.

  She opened the door and smiled upon seeing her neighbors, Rhonice and Dion. They had become great friends. Their kids were the same age as Simone and Christian. They played well together and spent time between the two houses like family.

  “Good morning,” Olivia said.

  “Good morning, Liv,” they replied in unison.

  Christian nearly tumbled down the stairs. “Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Hudson. We can’t wait. Are we leaving yet? Where’s Marley?” Christian jumped around bubbling with excitement.

  Rhonice laughed. “Marley and McKenzie are in the car. Grab your water shoes and let’s get going.”

  “Okay. Come on, Simone. It’s time to go,” Christian yelled down the hall while frantically putting on his shoes. Simone ran out from the kitchen and hugged the Hudsons.

  “Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Hudson. Will we get to see Shamu?” Simone squealed in anticipation.

  “Of course. We’ll see whatever shows you want to,” Rhonice replied.

  Dion laughed and spoke as if he were sharing a secret. “Hey, kids. I’m going to make sure we ride all of the big rollercoasters.”

  “Yay,” the kids squealed. “Bye, Mom.”

  Olivia hugged them quickly. “Bye. Make sure you don’t run off and get lost in the park. Put your hats on. Be on your best behavior and no arguing,” Olivia instructed.

  “Yeah, Mom. We will. Stop worrying,” Christian shouted back and ran after Simone to the car. “Hey, Marley and McKenzie. Here we come.”

  “Can you tell they’re anxious to get there?” Rhonice laughed. “We’ll keep them hydrated and fed. You’ll have two kids brought back to you at the end of the day. They’ll be in one piece, although they might be soaking wet.”

  “Thank you two for taking them with y’all. I owe you.” She smiled and waved at the car when they backed out of the driveway. They honked their horn and drove off.

  Olivia entered the house and closed the door. They would be gone until evening. A lazy day lounging around the pool with a good book and several mimosas is what she needed. Malcolm would be out late since the guys usually go to a cigar lounge afterward on Sundays. She appreciated having the home to herself instead of dealing with him.

  Thinking about which swimsuit to put on, she decided to head to the kitchen to find her champagne to add to orange juice. A bagel with cream cheese, smoked salmon, and capers sounded like a good breakfast today.

  When passing the office, a blinking light on the computer caught her eye. She stopped and peeked in. A faint humming sound came from the desktop.

  She walked to the desk, leaned over the computer, and wiggled the mouse. The screen showed more than a game.

  Olivia widened her eyes at the sick display before her. In disbelief, she turned her head and shook it to clear her mind. She hoped what flashed before her wasn’t real. What in the world is Christian using this computer to look at? I’m going to beat his behind when he gets home. He knows better than to look at this nastiness. I’m telling his daddy and he’s going on punishment forever.

  When she refocused on the screen, she read the top of the page. A dating website called Large Luscious Latina Ladies Love Black Men displayed in front of her eyes. It showed Malcolm had been chatting with a woman online. Obviously, he didn’t exit the site before leaving the house to hang out with his friends.

  Olivia’s heart pounded in her chest, and blood rushed to her ears. She placed her hand on the desk to keep herself from falling.

  She slumped into the office chair without taking her eyes off the screen and began scanning the words on the page.

  Malcolm and this chic, Carmen, were going back and forth about how they were looking forward to meeting this weekend at a restaurant in the Pearl Brewery. That was one of Olivia’s favorite places. It’s where she’d taken Malcolm for Father’s Day last year and he’d claimed that he didn’t even like the food.

  Olivia’s hand shook when she clicked on the mouse to view Carmen’s profile in detail. The woman had to be at least 400 pounds. Skimpy, sheer red lingerie, stretched as though it were too tight on her body. Heavy black mascara and blue eyeshadow painted underneath high arched eyebrows, gave her the appearance of a clown. To top it off, her makeup didn’t conceal her acne covered face.

  The woman knelt in a doggie style position on a king-sized bed, showing a red lacy thong lost in her behind. She gazed seductively at the camera with her red painted fingernail stuck in her pouty, cherry colored lipstick mouth.

  Her profile said that she was a five-feet-one inch tall, twenty-two years old, and had three children all below the age of six. The youngest was two years old. Her favorite hobby was watching reality TV and going to the movies. She’d never lived anywhere outside of San Antonio. It appeared she finished high school and was a stay-at-home Mom.

  Olivia unconsciously bit her fingernails. Her heart pounded wildly against her chest wall in shock. Unsure about what she’d possibly see, she reluctantly clicked to view Malcolm’s profile. What he wrote about himself horrified her.

  First, his picture was one she’d taken of him when they were on South Beach in Miami. He wore turquoise swimming trunks, and casually laid back on a beach chair. His flexed chest muscles glistened in the sun. It was her favorite picture because he smiled at her with his eyes filled with passion. This had to be one of their best vacations with only the two of them.

  Secondly, his profile read he was single, thirty-three, no kids and never married. “He’s forty-three years old, married, with two children,” Olivia yelled in disbelief.

  Malcolm wrote that he was a marketing executive for a Fortune 500 company. He listed several travel destinations he claimed to have gone to, including South Africa, Paris, Belize, and Egypt although he’d never been to any of those places.

  Tears pooled in the corners of Olivia’s eyes. Her hand shook vigorously in her attempt to direct the mouse to click on additional chats Malcolm had with other women.

  Several pages of women with the same type of features filled his pages. Grossly overweight, heavy makeup, and at least two to four kids. Olivia clicked on one of the profiles, and a long string of conversation, which dated back four months, popped onto the screen.

  She started reading.

  Hey, baby, it’s Mariah.

  Hey, sweetheart.

  I miss you.

  I miss you, too.

  I can still smell your cologne on my clothes. I keep smelling them and thinki
ng about you.

  I know how much you like it. I’m glad it keeps me on your mind.

  I wish we had more time together yesterday.

  Yeah, me too. Sorry I couldn’t get out of my meeting.

  That’s okay, baby. I know you work hard for me.

  You got that right. When can I taste those sweet lips again?

  Are we still on for Thursday morning?

  You know it. I’ll come get you at 6 am and we can head to the Riverwalk Hotel. I know how much you love being there.

  I can’t wait. I’m shivering just thinking about you touching me again.

  I’m going to do some things to you that will make you scream, girl.

  Baby, you know I’ll do the same to you.

  I’ll call you later. I love you more than you could ever know.

  I love you, too.

  Love? He told her he loves her? He called her sweetheart? Olivia stared at the screen. She couldn’t move.

  Olivia struggled with the thoughts going through her mind. Once again, just like Dwain did to me in college, my man is cheating on me with light-skinned, Hispanic women. I’m not good enough because I’m dark-skinned?

  Her brain flooded with conversations she and Malcolm had recently. This explained so much, like why he decided to change his workout routine time to the morning instead of the evening. He claimed he needed to leave at 5:30 am to travel to the gym and get in his exercise in before work.

  Olivia blinked her eyes slowly and more revelations crossed her mind. This woman, Mariah, was someone he’d obviously been seeing for a while. The other chic, Carmen, was who he was about to meet in person for the first time this weekend. How many others are there? How long had this been going on?

  “I’ve done everything to stay in tiptop shape after the kids were born, just to keep him happy. He’s cheating with these women who haven’t worked out a day in their lives?” Olivia screamed.

  On top of that, Malcolm acted as if it killed him to be around interracial couples. Yet, he’s sleeping with Hispanic women. He always said he’d never found them to be attractive.