Jacob (Exposed Marco's MMA Boys #5)

by S. M. Donaldson

  I look down at my hands and mumble, “Thanks.”

  He goes out to let Raines know I’m ready to speak with him. He comes through the door. “I had Jacob wait in the hallway. Are you comfortable talking right now, or would you rather a counselor be here?”

  I shake my head. “No, let’s talk and get this over with.”

  He nods and takes out a recorder. For what feels like forever, I have to tell him in detail everything that happened from the time I stepped into the hallway of the arena, until I blacked out on top of Wes Lowe.

  Finally, he stands up, shutting off the recorder. “Roxanne, you did a great job. I wish we could’ve gotten to you sooner so you wouldn’t have had to suffer so much. For what it’s worth, you’re a hell of an agent.” He steps closer to my bed. “Also, Jacob has never acted like he did last night. I’ve worked with him on hundreds of cases. We’ve walked into slaughter houses and he didn’t bat an eye, but last night broke him. He loves you, just make sure you let him love you. Just so you know, I think when Wes Lowe was in prison, he had to put all of his eggs into one basket. That basket was Frank Weeks, and with him gone, this should all finally be over.” With that, Raines leaves the room.

  Everything he said washes over me. It’s over, that’s great, but then he said—Jacob loves me? This a lot to take in. Yes, I know deep down that I’ve been falling for him, but when did he fall for me? It was supposed to just be casual sex, just like last time, our jobs brought us here together. Once the job was done, the affair was done. But maybe that’s not the case this time. My head is having trouble processing all of this. The past twenty-four hours have been overwhelming, sickening and soul crushing. The news that Jacob loves me should be great, but I’m not sure.

  Sloan comes back in. “Hey. Jacob went down the hall to check on, I think he said his name was Lucas.”

  I nod. “Yeah, I guess so.”

  She fidgets nervously. “Look, I know our start wasn’t the best. We’ve moved past part of it, but I’d like for us to be closer. You mean a lot to my brother. He needs you and you need him. When I first met Lox, I pushed him away, because I needed to prove I could raise my child on my own. Jacob and my parents had always been there with me, but for the first time, I was doing it myself. He showed me that sometimes just because we can do something all by ourselves doesn’t mean we should.” She looks back up at me. “I’m going to go home to shower and change. Chelsea and the other girls have asked if they can stop by. Jade is a pharmacist here so she might sneak up here, too. Is that okay?”

  I swallow. “Yeah, that’s fine.”

  Soon, Jacob comes back in the room and stands beside my bed. I look up to him and see the worry and the circles around his eyes from exhaustion. It hits me, our relationship did change. I don’t know how or when, but it did. I just need him near me. “Will you please hold me?”

  “I don’t know.” He looks down at me, defeated. Like he feels the same way I do. Scared, heartbroken and torn.

  “Please,” I choke out. I need him to show me this love everyone keeps telling me he has for me.

  Sighing, he nods and crawls into the small hospital bed beside me, pulling me into his chest. “I love you,” he croaks, his voice thick with emotion.

  “I love you, too,” I whisper and realize that yes, it happened. We fell for each other and we didn’t even know it.

  ~*~*~

  Today has been busy. Jacob and I got a short nap before the counselor came in and talked with me for a while. I knew the things they would say, it isn’t like I’ve never worked a rape case before. It’s just hard when it’s you. I’ve told them that I’ll find a doctor to go talk with after I’m released.

  Liz stopped in a little bit ago, along with Jade before she went on duty. Now, Kara and Chelsea are with me.

  I’ve seen the look on Kara’s face before. She’s reliving her own trauma. I know from what I’ve been told that at some point she was attacked.

  Chelsea smiles with sorrow. “Look, out of everyone, Kara probably has the most in common with you right now. Jade was kidnapped, but not for long, and from the sounds of things she terrorized the ever living shit out them. I killed a man that tried to attack me.” She says it so casually.

  I put my hand up. “Wait, you killed someone?”

  “Yes. When I was stripping, a man involved with my ex thought he needed to make a statement. I shot him to death behind the club I was working at.”

  Kara starts laughing. “Jeez, Chels, you make it sound like ‘Oh yeah and I just shot this guy. You know, no big deal.’” She throws her arms up in the air.

  That actually makes me laugh. “Thank you.”

  Kara gives me an understanding look. “Seriously though. I talked with a counselor after everything happened. I can give you her number. She was wonderful. Sly was wonderful, too. He may look and act like a goofball, but he’s what got me through it all.” I’m sure Jacob would help me get through all of this, too, but he seems just as broken as I am. The question is will he be able to?

  They visit for a little while longer before going. The guys from the gym stop by to see me. A basket of flowers was delivered from Roundman, Tank and Ruby. How they knew I was in the hospital? No clue, but I’m not questioning it.

  Later that night, Jacob climbs into the bed beside me. “You did really good today.”

  I lay my head on his chest. “Thank you. It’s all like a nightmare, but I know in my heart that it’s also finally over. No looking over my shoulder anymore. Wes Lowe is dead, and I killed him. I know that isn’t what a normal girl’s dreams are made of, but that was my greatest dream come true.” I turn so I’m looking at the ceiling and speak, vacant of emotion. “All I kept thinking last night when they were doing all of that to me was, I’m going to let them do this because I only have one shot with this knife. I knew they’d kill me and if I was going to take anyone out, it was going to be him. When they were finished, he was about to start, but he wanted to tell me off one last time. He got in my face and said something about me being a cum dumpster, he started laughing and I stabbed him in the neck. I did it for me, for my parents, for my sister, Mitch and the girls. I did it for everyone that Wes Lowe had hurt.”

  He pulls me in tighter. “You did good. You kept it together and in the end, you survived, not him, and not Frank who betrayed you. You won and we will get through this. I promise.”

  I allow him to hold me as we drift off to sleep. I know my days ahead aren’t going to be easy. I know I’m probably going to live with nightmares, but I’ve survived all of this for a reason and even in his death, I won’t let Wes Lowe take that from me.

  EPILOGUE

  JACOB

  CHRISTMAS…

  We’ve come a long way since Roxanne left the hospital. Well, really she’s the one who has.

  I think back over the last eight months.

  When we first came home, she had nightmares. She would break out into a sweat followed by a panic attack if people got too close to her. She hated it and she felt defeated. After a few months with the counselor Kara introduced her to, though, she started making progress. I remember the first session I attended with her after she’d been going a couple of months.

  “Jacob, Roxanne asked for you to be here today for our session. Do you know why?”

  I’m nervous as hell. I mean sure Roxanne feels comfortable talking to this lady, but do I? Is she going to think I’m some weird fuck or just an asshole? “Yes, Roxanne thinks she’s ready for us to go back to having sex and I’m not sure.”

  “Why aren’t you sure, Jacob?” the counselor asks.

  “I don’t want to be in the heat of things and then her remember that night. I’d lose it if that happened. I need her. I don’t want her to ever feel like that again,” I answer honestly. “Our sex life before was rather intense.” I have to stop and clear my throat. “We both liked to get a little rough and the thought of being like that with her now terrifies me.”

  “Jacob, you can’t keep treatin
g me like glass. I want to have sex. I want the sex life we had,” Roxanne barks angrily. “They took a lot from me that night. Did they take the enjoyment of sex from me, too? I’m afraid when you look at me, all you’re ever going to see is that broken woman you found on the floor of the warehouse,” she says with a sob.

  The counselor puts her hand up for us to stop. “Jacob, I understand your concern. You don’t want to hurt her any worse than she’s already been hurt. And Roxanne wants to feel wanted, desired and attractive again. What I need for both of you to understand is that this is a process. Her rape wasn’t about making love or even just having sex. It was about humiliation and power. Neither of you would set out to overpower or humiliate the other. It’s normal for you to be apprehensive, Jacob. You found her in that state, but it’s okay for Roxanne and you to want to move along. Just because you both like to be a little adventurous in the bedroom, that doesn’t mean anything. That’s consensual between the two of you, and something some narcissistic bastard did shouldn’t twist that.” She sits back. “I’m going to suggest you two start with touching and see where it leads. You’ll find your comfort with each other again eventually.”

  After she’d been out of the hospital about a month, I made the trip to my parents to come clean about everything.

  I’m sitting here in my parents’ living room after telling them about the past ten years of my life. Leaving the Army when I did. The CIA, Roxanne, everything that happened with her and her family. I leave out gorier details, but they get the gist. I feel like I’m sixteen years old and I just got caught having sex. My dad folds his hands over his belly. “Son, I can’t say your stories always added up, so at least knowing this means I wasn’t losing my mind. I have to say, though, I’m not happy that you did all of this. I mean your mother, myself, Sloan and Sage were in danger and didn’t even know it. You could’ve died anywhere and we’d have never known what actually happened to you. With all of that said, as a man I understand all of your reasons, but I still don’t like it.”

  My mom started crying five minutes ago, getting up and leaving the room. Meredith Foster isn’t happy with me and she’ll hold onto this for a while. She and Sloan are alike that way.

  After a couple of more weeks and finding out through Sloan that my mom was finally backing down a little, I took Roxanne to meet them.

  Nervously walking through my parents’ front door, my dad meets us. “Hey, son.” He side-hugs me. “Good to see you.”

  Roxanne is tucked nervously into my other side. “You, too, dad. This is Roxanne.”

  My dad gives her a kind smile. “Nice to meet you, young lady.”

  We follow him into the kitchen where my mom is cooking. I raise my hand as I go in. “Mom.”

  She looks back at me and gives me a guarded smile. “Jacob. Who is this?” She nods toward Roxanne.

  “This is Roxanne.” I look over her shoulder. “What are you cooking?”

  “I’ve got a ham in the oven, there are collards, butter beans and I’m going to fry some squash and cornbread.”

  Shocking me, Roxanne steps forward. “Can I help? It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to help cook summer vegetables. My mom used to cook like this every Sunday when she was alive.”

  My mom’s eyes soften and just like that, I know she’s backing down. “Sure, sweetheart. Come on over here.”

  Mom steps away from the stove and hugs me. “I love you, Jacob. You make sure you help this girl with all she’s lost.”

  After that, my mom’s attitude thawed toward me. She started calling me again just to check in, and every invitation to their house included Roxanne.

  I’ve went back to working construction. The agency explained that Roxanne was under their protection to the university, so after a couple of months she went back to work. When she teaches night classes, though, I sit in the parking lot waiting for her to finish and follow her home. I’m still battling my own issues over this. I will get through it, but it will take time.

  We both still work out at the gym. I train just like I did when I was fighting, even though I haven’t fought. I’ve been offered matches but I turn them down, that part was just a means to an end.

  I’ve watched Huck work with Roxanne on building her confidence back up in the ring. I would even venture to say he’s done as much for her as her counselor. Marco made the right decision when he put him in charge of this place.

  I miss watching him fight, but he’s found his place. It seems the new guy, Sergio, will fit in. He’s just distant. Not as open as the other guys. The only person he’s even remotely close to is Liz. She just says he has his own demons to get past. He’s been great taking over in the ring for Huck. No one will ever replace him, but Sergio was a good choice to keep the gym competitive for Bellator. That way they can honor their contract with their sponsors and shit.

  They had their Christmas party a week or so ago. Roxanne was teaching a night class, so I was waiting for her and didn’t get to go. But, from the sounds of things, it was rather entertaining. Sly had some sort of reaction to meds from the hospital and Huck found out he’s going to be a father again. We already knew that after help from modern medicine, Jade and Gibbs are having twins. So even with everything that’s happened this year, we still have a lot to laugh at and be thankful for.

  My parents came in last night for Christmas, which was great since my dad could go with me today to help me get Roxanne’s Christmas gift to Sloan’s house.

  “You know, son, most people propose with a ring. I can almost understand one thing, but not the other.”

  I laugh. “Trust me, Dad. She’s going to love both things.”

  He shrugs before he leaves, taking the first gift back to my sister’s.

  Once I get back to our house—yep, our house. I let go of my place and moved in and to start with it, was nerve wracking. The only people I’ve lived with were family and with everything that’s happened, I was worried about pushing too hard too fast, but it worked out. I guess we needed the security of being together.

  Turning the key and opening the door, I find her sitting in the floor wrapping more gifts for the kids.

  “Babe, those kids are going to be so spoiled, we won’t be able to stand them.”

  She shrugs. “I don’t have kids. I get to spoil other people’s kids.”

  I sit behind her and start to massage her shoulders, resting my chin on her head

  “Do you want kids, babe? Because I’ll be glad to donate my sperm for the cause. I mean it, we can keep practicing and practicing until we get it right. I’ll suffer through it for you.”

  She laughs. “Oh, I’m sure you’d be so put out by trying.” Then she shrugs. “I don’t know, maybe. I mean you’re an old man compared to me, how do you feel about it?”

  “I’m only a few years older than you. We’re still in our thirties, but I think if we want to make that decision, we need to make it. Otherwise, nature will make it for us,” I say seriously.

  She fiddles with the wrapping paper she’s using. “Okay, how about this. I’ll come off of my birth control and if it’s meant to happen, it will. If it doesn’t then it wasn’t. We can move on or talk about adoption if it’s that important to either of us when that time comes.”

  I lean over and kiss the top of her head. “Okay. Now finish up because we have dinner at my sister’s tonight, but we need to stop somewhere on the way for one of your gifts.”

  She shakes her head and says okay as she finishes up the gifts she’s working on.

  A little while later, we leave the house. On the way to our destination, I prep her. “Okay, so this isn’t a normal person’s gift. In fact, my father thinks I’m nuts. You may not like it, honestly I’m a little nervous, but I think you should make good on your promise.” She looks at me with confusion as I turn into the city cemetery. After a few rows, I stop the car. “Wes Lowe had no one to claim his body. They wanted to cremate him, but I stopped them. I had them bury him out here amongst the unclaimed people
as a nobody. However, I did get him a headstone.” I get out and walk around the car, letting her follow me.

  I stop at his grave and she starts laughing when she sees the head stone.

  “You didn’t. Oh my god, you did.”

  WES LOWE

  JAN 2, 1958 – APR 14, 2015

  A PATHETIC ASSHOLE

  I TOLD YOU I’D DANCE ON YOUR GRAVE.

  I hold my hand out. “So, do you want to get started?”

  She laughs and steps on top of the mound. “This is nuts,” she says, doing a small jig. Then she looks down, still laughing. “Ha ha, motherfucker. I won.”

  With the insane part of our Christmas over, we leave the cemetery and go to my sister’s where her big gift is waiting.

  “Okay, so your big gift is here. I want to show it to you and see if you’re going to like it.”

  She laughs. “What, no more graves to dance on?”

  “Nope, baby. All happy from here on out.”

  I sent my sister the text letting her know to prep when we were on our way.

  We enter the house and she looks around, “Where is everyone?”

  “Oh, they’re outside.” I pull her behind me into the backyard.

  My family, along with our friends, are standing in front of a Chevelle just like the one she rebuilt with her dad, holding signs that say, “Will you marry me?”

  She screams. “Oh my god!” and throws herself at me.

  “I know it’s not the one you and your dad built, but maybe it’ll remind you of the good times and that he’s always with you.” I push her back a little so I can see her face. “Now, about that question.”

  She nods at me with tears streaming down her face. “Yes. Yes, I will.”

  The Hellions MC, Roundman, Tank and Ruby are used with permission from Author Chelsea Camaron. Check out an excerpt from Ruby’s book Heated Ride in the back of this book. Also check out all of the Hellions books with Originals Ride releasing June 27, 2016.