by Colora, R.
“Yes papa, I know exactly what you want.” I reply softly.
I get up on my knees and unbuckle his pants I take them off and lay them on the coffee table. His boxers are next, I pull them down when they are around his knees I ball my first up and punch him in the spot right under his balls. He drops instantly and I deliver three more hard punches to his face. He loses consciousness, and I run to my duffle bag and throw on a shirt and running shorts. Antonio and Rhydian come into the living room.
“Nobody touches him, this is all me.” I yell at Rhydian and Antonio as they step into the room.
I put on and tie my steel toe timberlands, then lay out the blue tarp on his living room floor and roll him in it. I stand over him waiting for him to regain consciousness.
He comes to and tries to sit up, but I deliver a kick to his ribs, which causes him to lay on his side, reeling in pain.
“Oh, I'm sorry daddy. Seems like you have had an unfortunate accident.”
I delivered five more kicks to his body. “I know you're not my father, I met my real father last week; his name is Antonio De Luca.”
“I’m your father!” he says sputtering blood out his mouth.
“No, you aren't. Just because you're saying it doesn't make it true, if it was that easy, you would already be dead because I wished you dead a million times. My father is Antonio De Luca and he and my mother were in love until you destroyed it."
“I want to know about my mother, where her body is?” I ask clenching my fist.
He laughs, and I kick him in the face.
“Where is her body, I’m only going to ask nicely one more time.”
“I'm not telling you shit, you fucking cunt” he sputters.
“I was hoping you would say that, motherfucker.” I let the smile spread across my face.
I walk to my bag and grab out a straight razor, he tries to scoot back, but I sit on his chest. I cut lines into his face, while he is screaming. I see Rhydian getting a concerned look on his face.
“Don’t worry, no one will hear him. He soundproofed the whole apartment. Isn't that right, daddy dearest? You wanted to make sure no one could hear me scream.”
I grab the salt off the table and rub into the cuts. He’s trying to hit me, but every time he shifts his arm, I punch him in the face.
“Now daddy, I didn't scream that much when you did this to me so stop with all your fuss, I will ask you again, where is my mother's body.”
He still doesn't talk, and I take the blowtorch out of my bag.
“This is going to be so much fun," I see his eyes widen,
“She is buried under that giant patio I had built at the house," he finally says.
“You know Edwin, I thought about raping you, but I realized if I did that I would be just as fucking sick as you are. I want you to know that after I leave this place I will never give you another thought.” I say with a steady calm.
“That's where you're wrong, my lovely daughter. Every time you look at your body, you will think of me. It’s my masterpiece—every cut and burn will remind you of the delicious things we did together.”
“We didn't do shit together, you sick fuck, you raped and tortured me, you let your friends rape and torture me. I tried to survive.”
I deliver a kick to his ribs that made him stop breathing, maybe I’ve punctured a lung. Who knows, I don’t give a shit. I’m about to throw his ass off this building; he only has to suffer a few more minutes. I’ve suffered for twenty-three years, he is getting off easy.
“I didn't have to do too much, she needed a little push for the doubt to set in. She knew Antonio came from money and a great family; she was the daughter of a whore and a drunk. She thought she didn't measure up to him. So at first I made her feel like I understood how she felt, since we both were from broken families—outsiders. I told her that once Antonio found out about the baby, he would take you to his rich family in America and leave her in Paris. She believed me so she agreed to marry me, instead of being an unwed mother with a bastard daughter.”
Edwin tries to sit up, but the pain makes him lay back down.
“She realized it was all a lie. Things were going great until a year and half later, when Antonio tracked us down in Denver. He wanted answers and after talking to him, she wanted to leave me and go back to him, tell him about you and beg for him to forgive her. I told her I had no problem killing you while she watched, and then killing her and Antonio. She didn't fight me anymore and things were perfect until the night she tried to leave. I loved Celine, she shouldn't have tried to leave me.”
“You didn’t love my mother; you were obsessed with her,". I kick him again,
“You killed her," I kicked him again. I won't let him see me cry, but it’s getting harder to not let my tears fall.
“You ruined my life” I kicked him again.
“You kept me from my real father! A family that would have loved me!”
I kicked him again. He is trying to draw a breath, so I grabbed the tarp and dragged it to the balcony.
“What are you doing?” He is trying to talk, but he is spitting up blood.
“I’m going to do to you exactly what you did to my mother. I’m throwing your ass off this balcony.” I stated joyfully.
“You will get caught; you won't get away with this.” He rasps.
“Now, see that's where you’re wrong, I already have gotten away with it. Right now I am in an inpatient mental hospital in New York, I checked in yesterday. As far as being caught on video, there is no video. The security team downstairs has been watching the same hour on a loop, and your guards that saw me here are already dead. They were dead the second they stepped out of the building.”
“Ah, Stella, see this is one more thing you learned from me.”
“I’ve learned nothing from you! You’re a monster and I hope you burn in hell.” I say with a smile on my face.
I deliver another kick, and with "My name is Estelle Roux!" I deliver one final kick to the face.
I turned to see Antonio and Rhydian on the balcony, standing at the ready for my instructions, but I have to do this.
"Ah, Kerrigan and De Luca” he says, coughing up blood and spit. “Are you going to let my daughter throw me over the balcony? You are good men, you're not killers and neither is she."
Antonio stepped forward and squatted down.
"No, I'm not going to let her throw you over the balcony" he declared with a sinister grin. "You're right about Estelle, she isn’t a killer, but you forget killing people used to be my job, and I liked my job, Edwin. This is for Celine and my daughter.”
Antonio lifted him and threw him over the side. We could hear him scream the whole way down and then we heard the impact.
Rhydian was back in the apartment cleaning up so we took a quick look around and exited the apartment, going down the stairwell, out the side entrance, and into a waiting SUV driven by Salvatore. We rode in silence to the private airport and Rhydian grabbed my bags and loaded them on the plane, giving me a few minutes with my father.
“When I get back I want to meet my brother. I will make dinner for you guys. Thank you for what you did.” I say getting choked up. I take a few deep breaths before I smile.
“I’ve killed several men,” Antonio said. “It never leaves you, I didn’t want that for you. Now, you have a clear conscience. When you get back, I want to build our relationship. I’ve lost twenty-four years, I don’t want to lose anymore” he says sadly.
“I will see you in a month, dad.” I hug my father for the first time and walk to the plane door. Rhydian stands in front of the steps.
“Princess, when you get back we will talk about us,” I walk up to him and kiss him. It's the first time I have ever kissed someone without being forced.
“Thank you for being my first kiss, Rhydian. Will you wait for me?” I hope he will say yes.
“Princess, I've been waiting for you for almost two years. I’ll wait for you until the end of time. I'm in love with y
ou, Estelle. That isn't going to change.”
I walk up to the stairs of the plane.
“Hey, Estelle” I hear Rhydian say,” I will be your last kiss too. I love you, princess,”
I turn around and the flight attendant closes the door.
Rhydian's POV
The three of us stand against the SUV until the plane is in the air.
“Sal, the guards? “Antonio asks.
“The wood chipper” is the only thing he says.
We load back into a different truck.
“Mr. De Luca, I know you just met her, but I want your permission to marry your daughter.”
“You know Rhydian, you Kerrigan’s are a good lot. I see how your brothers treat their wives, I see how your father treats your mother, and I see how you treat my daughter. You were an accomplice in murder today. You didn't have to be. but you wanted to make sure when Estelle was ready she could be yours with nothing stopping her, I think you're exactly what Estelle will need once she gets back, but you gotta give her time to deal with what just happened. You seem patient, I'm asking you to keep doing what you're doing, but I would be honored to have you as a son-in-law.”
“Now back to the task, did you reroute the security feed?”
“Yes, I did it as soon as we pulled away from the building.”
“The police are going to notify the next of kin. They already know Estelle is staying with you since the break in, it's late enough they won't call the hospital to reach Estelle, but they are more than likely going to question you about her whereabouts and yours.”
They drop me off in front of my building and I walk in. I am just getting out the shower when I get a call from the front desk that police are requesting to come up. The clothes on the bathroom floor I put on at the air hanger and since we got in a different car, there is no chance to trace evidence. I let the officers in.
“Hello, Mr. Kerrigan. We are looking for Estelle Roux. Is she here?”
“No, she went to an inpatient mental health hospital for thirty days. She checked in yesterday under the care of Dr. Franklin.”
“Where is this hospital, is it in Denver?”
"No,” I answer, “it’s in New York City.”
“Do you have a number by chance?”
“I do, let me grab the information."
“You didn't ask why we are looking for her.”
“I assumed it had to do with the break in at her apartment last week. Is that not what it's about?” I look at the officers with confusion.
“No, sir. We are here because her father was found dead. He went head first over the balcony of his fortieth floor penthouse apartment.”
“Well, I can't say I'm surprised with all the stress of the investigation and trial.”
“Are you and Ms. Roux in a relationship?” the officer asked.
“We have never been more than friends. She is dealing with a lot of issues right now and being in a relationship is not her priority.”
“Mr. Kerrigan, can you tell us where you were today?”
“Sure, I had a business meeting this morning, from there I popped into Easton's office and had lunch with him and my dad. We discussed the meeting I attended that day, and I asked their opinion on whether it's something I should pursue. I then went to The Hope Music Conservatory to set up their system, so it could be accessed remotely and came back home. I went out for dinner around seven this evening, came home after I ate and watched a movie, I was getting ready for bed when you guys showed up.”
“Where you at nine fifteen this evening?
“I was here watching a movie on demand.”
“What movie was it and what time did you start it? Can you pull up your menu screen and show me your movie purchase?
I walked over to the TV and handed him the remote.
“Riley, please note that Mr. Kerrigan started Fifty Shades of Grey at five after nine and paused at nine twenty then resumed four minutes later at nine twenty four and watched the movie until it ended.” He hands me back my remotes and wipes his hand on his pants leg while trying to hold back a snicker.
“Thank you for your time, Mr. Kerrigan.”
The officers leave my apartment after that. When I see Kennedy, I’m kicking her ass. Of all the movies to watch as an alibi, she chose that movie. I swear these officers were looking for a bottle of lotion and a box of Kleenex.
Chapter 5
I don't cry when I get on the plane, I don't cry when I land in New York, I don't cry when the car picks me up, I don't even cry when I make it to the hospital and get checked into my room. I don't cry until four days later when I see a commercial of a man teaching his daughter how to ride a bike. I cry because that could have been my life, it should have been my life a life with a brother and a father and a stepmother, who was loving and caring. I should have had a first day of school, a first crush, a clumsy grope in a closet at my first boy/girl party, my first school dance, years of report cards, or maybe even a few detentions. I had none of that. All I had was my prison and my abuse. And now that I was free, I didn't know how to deal with it.
Three days later, I sat across from Dr. Franklin on a bright Saturday morning and poured my heart and soul out. I told him about the resentment of all the normal things I missed, how in some fucked up way I envied Kennedy for going to college and having friends. “Dr. Franklin where do I begin? I tearfully ask.
“Well, Estelle,” he said as he twirled his glasses with his fingers.
“You began when you took charge of your life over a year ago, when you took that file and gave it to Kennedy, you took charge when you went back to Denver your own person, not the woman Edwin created, but the real Estelle. You continued when you got a job, signed up for school, learned to defend yourself, and confronted your abuser. The real questions you want to ask me about have nothing to do with you living, Estelle, you've been doing that and very well.”
“Your questions have to do with intimacy, love, relationships, and I'm sure sex. Those things are the hardest part to overcome with the history of your abuse, but they can be overcome. You have to look at things in a different way. What happened to you was horrendous, but you also have to think on things that have come to light. Edwin wasn't your father, he wasn't anything to you, and you have to look at him as just a man. You have a father who loves you and wants to have a relationship with you— he wants to connect to you. You have a brother that calls me twice a day to see if you can have visitors yet; he wants a relationship, he wants a connection. You have the entire Kerrigan clan, Tristan, and Kennedy who have become surrogate siblings to you, and most importantly, you have Rhydian, who knows every horrible detail and still sees you as this amazing woman. You are worth love and compassion. You have value, Edwin devalued sex, relationship, and love, but you have all these other people ready to guide you to show you what a family can be all about. You equate sex with violence, pain, and being forced. But sex is enjoyable and not something to be used as a weapon.”
He thinks before continuing “Estelle, I would like to bring in someone that specializes in your specific issues. She was a child bride at fourteen, she escaped a cult, got a PHD in both Psychology and Psychiatry, and has specialized training to deal with victims of incest and rape. She has six doctorates. I feel it best if you have someone to talk to that can guide you in questions you may have about your body and sex who’s better qualified."
“Ok, when do I meet this new doctor? I asked with reluctance.
“She will be here in about thirty minutes. Why don't you go grab a coffee and by the time you get back we will all meet for an introduction.”
Grabbing my coffee and a scone, I make my way back to Dr. Franklin's office. I knock and walk in. The doc is standing next to a very tiny woman with strawberry blonde hair with hot pink streaks through it and blue eyes. She seems in stark contrast to his big frame and dark features.
“Hello Estelle, I would like you to meet Dr. Melody Franklin,” he sees the look of confusion on my face. “Me
lody is my wife and is one of the world's leading experts in psychological rehabilitation of sex trafficking victims. Is it ok if I leave you?”
I nod.
“Hey Estelle, please call me Mel.”
“Umm," I hesitate before extending my clammy hand to shake hers “Hi Mel.”
“Why don't you grab your scone and coffee and we can go out by the lake” she says.
We walk to the lake, and she lays a blanket on the floor and unpacks a fruit salad and bottle of water. She hands me a bowl with some fruit salad and says, “There isn't any melon in it because I hate all kinds of melon so I'm not really sure if it's a proper fruit salad but whatever.”
She seems so young. She looks about my age, but I know she has to be a lot older because she has like twenty degrees and Dr. Franklin doesn't seem like a creepy old man with a super young wife kind of guy.
“You keep staring at me, Estelle. You obviously have something on your mind so spit it out!” she says flippantly.
Is a psychiatrist supposed to talk to a patient like that? Hell if I know, her husband told me to kill my father and then helped me cover it up.
“How old are you, you look young?” I inquire.
“I'm forty-six and I have a love-hate relationship with Botox. You caught me in a love phase, I'm freshly injected.” She says with a serious face.
“No, seriously how old are you?” I ask, unconvinced.
“I told you I'm forty six, but I was joking about the Botox. If you look at my hands, they are old lady hands, my face hasn't caught up yet. I'm pretty sure any year now it's all going to go to hell in a handbasket," she shows me her hands and I laugh because she isn't talking to me like I'm damaged.
“So on to the heavy shit, Estelle. I read your file. I was with my husband the day you told your story, I saw the video. I was there as a fellow professional, not as his wife so everything discussed was confidential. Did you do it? Did you toss his ass over the balcony?”
“No,” I answered “I wanted to, I dragged him out there, but my real dad did the actual throwing," she hands me some weird ass white sugary cream.
