Three More Wishes: Be Kind To Your Genie

by Doctor MC

“Weird,” Virgilia said.

  Virgilia walked into the bathroom that her (and Sherry’s) bedroom shared with Christi Ellen’s bedroom. Virgilia cleaned off her makeup and brushed her teeth, all the while trying to place those sounds she’d heard. She was having no luck.

  Virgilia climbed in bed. In minutes she was asleep, despite her puzzling over the Slap-Clump puzzle.

  ****

  Paula had worked her way down the attic stairs, and now was just outside the attic door. She stopped to listen.

  Paula heard no excited footsteps, and she heard no talking. So far, so good.

  As quietly as she could, she moved from the attic door to the door to Marvin’s bedroom. Even if Elvira hadn’t pointed Marvin’s door out, Paula would have known that this was his door because of the alarm keypad nearby.

  (The keypad currently showed a green light—“Alarm off.”)

  Paula was jumpy. This hallway was about half the length of a football field, with plenty of doors for people to step out of, and there was no place for Paula to hide if someone looked around. Until and unless Paula got on the other side of Marvin’s door, she could be caught in the act—an instant disaster.

  Paula was kneeling down, searching (slowly and quietly) for a picklock in the satchel, when the door on her right opened up. Paula almost screamed.

  Fatima stood in the open doorway, glaring at Paula.

  Fatima whispered, “If it were up to me, I’d blast you into ash here and now. To avenge Jerngert.”

  Paula smirked. “But it isn’t up to you,” she whispered back. “Be nice to me, or I might kill you too.”

  Fatima glared Death at Paula. But the green-eyed genie spoke nothing else, and didn’t interfere with Paula’s lock-picking. Two minutes later, Paula had Marvin’s door open.

  Once inside Marvin’s bedroom, Paula decided to leave the door open a half-inch, to be sure that the night-vision goggles got enough light to work well. Never having worn night-vision goggles before, Paula hoped that this was enough.

  Once inside Marvin’s bedroom, crawling on her belly like an Army soldier, it took Paula only a minute to find a box with “HARPER W G” painted on its top. And the box had a padlock! And Marvin was snoring! And no little slut was in bed with him!

  Oh joy, oh joy, Paula thought.

  Paula quietly (meaning slowly) opened up the satchel, then took out the bolt-cutters.

  To fit into the satchel, the bolt-cutters had to be small—not quite as long as Paula’s forearm and hand. Since the bolt-cutters were small, they couldn’t “bite” the padlock’s U-shaped bolt well. Paula had to settle for nibbling at the bolt. This required several rounds of “nibbling.”

  Paula was about ten seconds away from that last, glorious “nibble” when a crazy woman burst into the room. She was yelling for Marvin to wake up.

  ****

  Virgilia was having a dream—

  Virgilia is watching as a black-masked, flashlight-carrying burglar is walking around in the attic. He looks into every box. Then he heads for the stairs. Just before he gets to the attic stairs, he steps on the loose board. SLAP! Then the black-masked man starts down the stairs.

  And that’s all the burglar does: He STARTS down the stairs. He steps onto the top step (CLUMP!) and then just stands there. Still on the step, he turns around and looks at Virgilia, with a finger to his lips. After fifteen seconds, the burglar steps onto the next lower step; Virgilia hears CLUMP. Again, the burglar shushes Virgilia.

  Virgilia woke up with the thought clanging in her head, Someone’s sneaking around in the attic!

  Virgilia jumped out of bed, took time only to pull on a bathrobe, then sprinted from her bedroom to Marvin’s bedroom door—

  Which was open slightly.

  Virgilia burst into the bedroom. She saw Marvin asleep on the bed (fully clothed???); Marvin was thus unaware of the woman who was attacking the footlocker’s padlock.

  Virgilia clicked on the bedroom light. “MARVIN, WAKE UP! SOMEONE’S TRYING TO STEAL YOU-KNOW-WHAT!”

  ****

  Paula didn’t know who the woman was, why she was here, or how much she knew. But Paula did know that the time for nibbles was over.

  Paula put the deep V of the bolt-cutters around the uncut part of the bolt, grabbed each arm’s black-plastic handle, and pushed her hands together.

  Or tried to.

  Muscles that she didn’t even know she had, were burning with the effort. Then all resistance ended—Paula had cut through the padlock bolt!

  Paula didn’t even have time to smile before she was knocked onto her back. Her night-vision goggles went flying.

  Struggling to grab Paula’s wrists was the crazy blonde. “Bitch, you’re not getting his lamp!” the blonde said.

  Paula’s attacker was a long-haired, puffy-lipped blonde in a bathrobe. That blonde was astride Paula, trying to grab her wrists; Blondie already had captured one of them.

  “Damn, Virgilia, you already know about the lamp?” Marvin asked from the bed.

  “Explain later?” Virgilia replied.

  By now, Paula had noted that Virgilia’s chest bulged with ridiculous boobs. Paula’s free hand rubbed against the bathrobe, feeling for the opening, then it shot inside. Paula grabbed an oversized nipple and twisted.

  “Bitch!” Virgilia said. Paula moved her hand to Virgilia’s shoulder, pushing up and sideways. Paula rolled to the right just after she shoved Virgilia to the left, with Paula’s captive hand breaking free of the blonde’s grip.

  Paula grabbed the cut-through padlock and threw it away. She grabbed the footlocker lid and yanked it up; the lid banged against the bedroom wall—

  “Oh no you don’t!” Virgilia said. Arms wrapped around Paula’s chest from behind, as muscular legs appeared on either side of Paula’s hips. Virgilia’s arms were pulling, and Virgilia’s feet were pushing, Paula away from the footlocker.

  Paula bent her forearms ninety degrees, spun her shoulders around, and punched backward to either side of her head. Paula’s left fist hit only air, but her right fist hit something solid.

  “Fuck!” Virgilia said. “Bitch almost got my eye. Marvin, why isn’t Fatima joining the party?”

  Paula, meanwhile, had used Virgilia’s distraction to lean forward and break free of the blonde’s grip.

  Marvin said, “She isn’t allowed. It’s a rule—”

  Paula rolled onto her knees. Now she was able to look down into the footlocker and see a tarnished metal thing, about the size of a duck. Paul’s left hand dove down into the box, she wrapped her fingers around the lamp’s handgrip—

  “—so we need to solve this ourselves,” Marvin said. A thick arm slid around Paula’s waist, she was lifted off the ground, and then a big man’s hand captured Paula’s left wrist.

  As Marvin’s thumb pressed into the soft underside of Paula’s wrist, he said, “Let go, Paula. Virgilia, grab her other hand.”

  Virgilia quickly did as ordered. Meanwhile, the pain that Marvin’s thumb was causing was awful; Paula screamed.

  Paula’s hands were captured, and she was being held off the ground, but her legs were free. Paula’s right leg zoomed forward, then around; Paula’s heel whammed Virgilia’s shin.

  “Shit!” Virgilia said. “You slut, cease that!”

  Meanwhile, Paula managed to pull her right hand free by a few inches. Virgilia tightened her grip again, but too late. Slowly Paula’s fist and arm were pulling free of Virgilia’s grip.

  Virgilia said, “Marvin, she—her hand, it’s—”

  My hand is free!

  ****

  Thursday, 2:47 a.m. Eastern Daylight Time

  Virgilia tried to hold on. But that worthless bitch Paula Sarin had balled her hand into a fist, and Virgilia didn’t have a good grip.

  Then Paula pulled her hand free.

  Up till now, Paula had fought by attacking her attacker. But now, she didn’t try to step on Marvin’s instep, or punch his balls, or poke out his eyes, or pull his left hand off of hers. P
aula didn’t bother with Marvin at all.

  Instead, Paula’s right hand zoomed sideways, to sideswipe the lamp.

  FOOM. Virgilia saw Fatima appear in a flash of green. Fatima was wearing green Middle Eastern clothing, with green ribbons tying up her long black hair into a waterfall ponytail.

  “He’s hurting me!” Paula said.

  Green light flashed from Fatima’s hands, and Marvin flew five feet through the air, to land on his back atop the bed.

  Marvin’s martial-arts knowledge kicked in: In less than a second he was on the floor again, standing on the balls of his feet. But instead of attacking Paula again, Marvin said, “Fatima?”

  Fatima’s face was sad. “You may not harm my master, Marvin. I can’t allow that.”

  “Sweet,” Paula said. “This is so sweet, you bet!”

  Then Paula’s right hand reached into her purse (which now was lying on the floor). Paula’s hand came out of the purse holding a pistol.

  Paula Sarin was holding the genie lamp in her left hand, and a pistol in her right hand, and she’d tamed Fatima. Life didn’t look good for either Virgilia or Marvin.

  Chapter 42

  The Date Of Fated Death

  JUST BARELY THURSDAY (PART TWO)

  Thursday, 2:48 a.m. Eastern Daylight Time

  Marvin said, “So how did you get in my house, without alarms going off?”

  Paula smirked at him. “I don’t have to tell you shit.”

  Fatima said, “Yesterday while you were at school, she gave fifteen hundred dollars to Elvira, who then took her straight to the attic. And Master was in the attic from before you left school, till a few minutes before Virgilia came. Her assistant hacked your bedroom alarm.” Fatima gave Marvin an I told you so look.

  How dare she! Paula thought. She serves ME!

  Paula glared at Fatima. “Why are you talking to Marvin, and why are you telling him things I don’t want him knowing?”

  “But Master, you didn’t tell me not to talk to him.” Now it was Fatima smirking.

  Marvin asked Virgilia, the big-breasted bathrobe blonde, “How did you find out about the lamp?”

  She said, “Monday, you went to school with the footlocker unlocked. I peeked inside, then I locked it.”

  “Without rubbing the lamp?” Marvin, Paula, and Fatima all said.

  Lippy Blonde shrugged. “It would have been stealing from Marvin. I don’t steal.”

  Paula didn’t buy that for a second, not from this woman with the porn-actress body.

  Marvin looked at Bathrobe Bimbo and said, “I apologize, I blew it. I really underestimated Paula Sarin. I’m sorry about all the hurt she gave you.”

  The blonde didn’t reply, she just smiled at Marvin and squeezed his arm.

  Paula said, “Aw, isn’t that sweet? We’re wasting time.” She gestured with the gun. “You two, get out in the hallway.”

  Marvin snorted. “No. We’re not your trained seals. We don’t do tricks for you.”

  Paula snarled, “Fatima, get those two into the hallway.”

  Fatima walked up to Marvin, with her hands as high as his chest. He countered by putting the palms of his hands on her collarbones, which kept his chest beyond her reach.

  Fatima said, “Master, I can’t make Marvin go out into the hallway.”

  Paula crossed her arms. “Are you messing with me? Or are you stupid? Use your magic!”

  “So it’s your wish that I magically move Marvin and Virgilia into the hallway?”

  Paula gave a long-suffering sigh. “Yes, Fatima, that’s my wish.” Then she realized what she’d said. “Wait, d—”

  Paula’s ears popped, and then the group was standing in the middle of the second-floor hallway, near the staircase.

  Fatima said, “One wish made, one wish granted. You have two wishes left, Master.” Fatima’s face said Ha, beat you, bitch!

  Paula Sarin felt like shooting the genie. “You tricked me out of a wish!”

  Fatima’s eyes were laughing. “Sorry, all sales are final, no refunds or exchanges. King Solomon’s rule.”

  Then Marvin yelled as loud as he could, “EVERYONE, STAY OUT OF THE HALLWAY! IT’S DANGEROUS!”

  Paula said, “For you it is.” She smirked at Marvin.

  Then she made it clear what she meant. “Fatima, I want you to whammy Marvin for good. Kill him in a way that won’t leave forensic evidence.”

  “No. That’s a magical request, and I don’t have to grant those if I don’t want.”

  Paula swelled up. “Don’t tell me ‘No’! I AM YOUR MASTER, AND—”

  Suddenly a smoky green box appeared around the lower half of Paula’s face; her mouth was inside the box, but her ears were outside. She yelled and screamed, but her ears heard nothing, and everyone else was grinning at her like she were a dancing monkey. She yelled for Fatima to get rid of her magical muzzle, but of course Fatima didn’t hear the order. When Paula tried to pull the magic muzzle off her face, nothing happened.

  When Paula quit mute-yelling and closed her mouth, she figured that Fatima would vanish the magic muzzle. But instead, five minutes crawled by. During that time, Marvin, the blonde, and Fatima all smirked at Paula.

  Then Fatima spoke. “Jerngert told me how you bullied her into granting all your magical requests. I can’t kill you or hurt you, but I still have options that you won’t like. I decide whether I grant your magical requests, ‘Master.’ I decide.”

  Only then did Fatima un-mute Paula Sarin.

  Paula’s first words were, “Did you enjoy that, Fatima? Playing with me? Now it’ll cost you. I wish that you kill Marvin in a way that leaves no forensic evidence.”

  ****

  Virgilia gasped when she heard the evil woman’s wish. Which Virgilia heard clearly, since she stood ten feet away from Paula and Fatima, with Virgilia’s back to someone’s bedroom door.

  Fatima and Paula were standing side by side in the hallway, facing toward Marvin and away from Marvin’s bedroom door. To Virgilia, Fatima looked as frightened as Virgilia felt. Only Marvin looked calm. But then, men are big on the whole “stoic” thing, Virgilia thought.

  Fatima said, “Master, please change your wish. Please change your wish. If you take it back, it won’t count against you—”

  That bitch Paula said, “You’re dawdling, and jabbering, and you haven’t granted my wish! Here’s an order: Kill. Now. Otherwise you go into the freezer tomorrow, Fatima.”

  Fatima’s shoulders slumped. “Yes, Master.”

  Virgilia could only watch helplessly as Fatima turned to face Marvin straight-on. Fatima’s expression became serious, and her hands came up. She began gesturing with both hands, while Marvin stared at her.

  Fatima had been gesturing for ten seconds or so, when Marvin’s expression changed. For the first time since Virgilia had known him, he looked afraid. “Fatima, don’t,” he said. “I love you.”

  “I’m sorry, Marvin,” Fatima said. “I don’t want to freeze to death like Jerngert.”

  Marvin backed away from her. He stretched out his arms to her, beseeching.

  “I love you too, Marvin,” Fatima said, as she continued to gesture with both hands.

  Four tiny green fireballs appeared, chasing each other around her hands. As Fatima gestured, the fireballs got bigger—to golf-ball size, then apple size, then grapefruit size, then to volleyball size.

  As Fatima continued to gesture, the fireballs’ rotation stopped, so that they floated in place, above, below, and beside Fatima’s hands. And then all four fireballs flew straight toward Marvin, as fast as rockets.

  One fireball hit him in the groin, two hit him in the chest, and one hit him in the face. Instantly Marvin was head-to-toe covered with green fire, making the hallway as hot as an oven.

  Marvin reached out with his green-burning arms. “Fatima, I ... love...”

  Burning Marvin swayed on his feet like a drunk, then dropped to his knees. “It hurts,” Marvin said. “Oh fuck, it hurts.”

  Marvin�
�s flesh popped and sizzled. A green-flamed jaw dropped in a silent scream. A few seconds later, he fell limply forward onto the new rug, his arms still outstretched toward Fatima.

  As soon as Marvin’s body hit the ground, the fire instantly went out. The hallway was instantly cool again.

  Virgilia stared horrified at the burned, smoking, forest green corpse that had once been Marvin Harper. The hallway smelled like cooked pork.

  Paula said, “Did you see how cowardly he was? Whereas I’ve shot wolves from a helicopter. Who’s the real man here?”

  Fatima said, “I loved you, Marvin.” Then she turned to Paula, squared her shoulders, and said, “You wished for me to kill him. You see he is dead.”

  For Virgilia, this was an awful day. Bad enough to see a man she admired be cruelly murdered in front of her, but then to still feel the magical craving to serve him—

  Wait a second, thought Virgilia. Something doesn’t add up. Her craving for Warren had ended on the second he’d died.

  But how can Marvin be alive? All of Virgilia’s senses told her that Marvin couldn’t be even barely alive.

  Virgilia wrenched her eyes away from Marvin’s charred body to look at Fatima—only to find Fatima already looking at her. Fatima’s nose was pointing toward Marvin’s smoking remains, but Fatima’s eyes were staring sidelong into Virgilia’s. And as soon as Virgilia made eye contact, Fatima’s eyebrows went up.

  What is Fatima trying to tell me? Virgilia wondered.

  And then Virgilia realized: Her own eyes were lying to her, Marvin wasn’t dead! For some reason, Fatima didn’t grant the wish, but only pretended to. Then it’s a whole new game, thought Virgilia.

  Paula Sarin spoke then. “Bathrobe Bitch, I thought of shooting you. But I’d much rather have you beg to lick my asshole.”

  Paula turned to Fatima and said, “I wish that everything that Marvin owns, now becomes mine. This includes all his slaves and girlfriends becoming worshipfully devoted to me.”

  Virgilia saw Fatima start her wind-up—even as the genie’s eyes were boring into Virgilia’s.

  “Fatima, please! Spare me,” Virgilia cried, with soap-opera overacting.

  From Fatima’s hands came an expanding sphere, transparent green. Virgilia dashed for the steps, seemingly trying to escape the growing ball. She’d gone down two steps when the wall of the sphere passed through her and beyond her.