PANDORA

by Rebecca Hamilton

  “Come on, come on.” Jeff let go of Nicole and nudged Ethan toward the back door.

  ***

  While the guys were playing ball I sat on the deck with Nicole, Rachel, and a few of their other friends, and listened to them talk about who was dating whom and who was pregnant with whose kid. I recognized the tone of Rachel’s voice every time she spoke. The same one she’d used when she’d called me no-man’s land and decided I was a lesbian.

  This was the kind of the thing I avoided. Playing Home Run Derby sounded way better than listening to gossip from Nic’s snooty friends. I stood, kicked off my flip flops and headed off the deck, ignoring Nicole calling my name.

  Ethan stood with a wiffle ball in his hands, his expression intrigued. “You playing?”

  I glanced back at the girls on the deck watching me and shrugged. “Count me in.”

  Sean jogged over with the bat and held it out for me, grinning. He knew I’d played softball and run track all through high school to pad my transcripts. And I was no slouch at either sport. “Pick your pitcher, Allie-O.”

  The smirk on Ethan’s face was a challenge, and I couldn’t resist. “Ethan has the ball. He can pitch to me.”

  “I hope you haven’t gotten rusty,” Ethan said. He made a big show of stretching and winding up before he finally tossed the ball to me.

  I swung and smacked it over the pool house, and Sean started shouting and cheering. Ethan shook his head, but he was smiling. He clearly thought I would be an easy out.

  But no. I made it all the way to the final round, kicking Sean and Jeff out of the game.

  “You gonna let her win, E?” Jeff called, winking at me from the picnic table where he sat drinking a beer.

  Ethan chuckled, showing off those damn dimples. He looked down at the ball in his hands and then back up at me. “If I do, will you let me take you out?”

  “What? Like on a date?” I snorted, trying to look braver than I felt. “Not a chance.”

  “Wait a sec . . . I like this. Let’s make a wager,” he said.

  The guys were all hooting and hollering at me, my face no doubt crimson. I bit my lip, feeling all their eyes on me. “What do I get if I win?”

  “I’m thinking, hang on.” He held up his finger, his brow furrowed in thought. His eyes widened with excitement, and I knew I would regret whatever he had to say.

  “If I win, I get a kiss.” If it was possible, my cheeks flushed even more. Cue the laughter and the cat calls.

  “And, if I win?” I said, setting a hand on my hip to stop the shaking.

  He looked at me for a second, considering. “If you win, I won’t ever ask you out again.”

  The idea earned a chorus of “Yeah, right” and “No way” from the guys.

  My mouth fell open. I had not been expecting that, but his expression was serious. The laughing around us fell away for a second, and I could only stare at him, feeling the color drain from my face. His expression remained solemn, and he met my gaze head on.

  I nodded stiffly and swallowed. “All right.”

  His grin came back in full force. “Oh, and Al?” I raised my eyebrows at him. “I won’t lose.”

  He was right. I swung at his third pitch and completely missed. And when it was his turn, he smacked the first ball I pitched a hundred yards past the mark.

  I couldn’t help but laugh at his victory dance—his hips swinging, fists rotating over his head. His energy was contagious. He bounded toward me, a grin on his face.

  “Told you,” he said.

  I shrugged, about to make some kind of snide remark when Joanne shouted from the deck.

  “Food’s ready!”

  ***

  When it was time to go, the nervous feeling in my stomach intensified, and I almost regretted eating so much. This wouldn’t be the first time I’d kissed Ethan Magliaro; I knew what he was capable of.

  It’s just a stupid kiss, I repeated over and over in my head. I could get through it, and then everything would go back to normal. Then my long-lost father’s face flashed in my mind. Okay, as normal as possible. Nothing had to change because of one little kiss.

  When Nicole asked Jeff to bring her home, I stood to join them, but Ethan shot me an “oh, no you don’t” look. I hadn’t really expected to get out of the bet, but I didn’t want to appear eager, either. That would only make things worse. He grabbed my hand, and pulled me toward his truck, while my cousin and his brother left us to drive back to Gram’s alone. I waved at Joanne without meeting her eyes, knowing she probably knew all about our little wager.

  He opened the passenger door for me and waited until I was settled before closing it. He came around and slid in next to me. He didn’t start the engine right away, though. We sat in silence in his parents’ driveway.

  Ethan finally looked over at me, his forehead crinkling in concern. “You know I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do, right?”

  A nervous laugh escaped. “You won the bet.”

  Ethan laughed and shook his head as he started the truck. He headed toward the road, and the silence stretched between us. We didn’t speak, but he kept looking over at me with an undefinable expression on his face.

  I had spent more than my share of time watching Ethan’s face. I’d watched him play hockey, I’d watched him play baseball. I’d watched as he flirted with girls, I’d watched him stand stoically at his grandfather’s funeral. I thought I knew how to read him pretty well. But at that moment, I couldn’t figure out what was going through his mind.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket. I pulled it out and checked the number. Nicole.

  “Don’t freak out, but I just—”

  “Nicole!” I couldn’t help raising my voice. Sometimes she could be so exasperating. I hadn’t even gotten home yet, and she was already drilling me.

  “Wait, Al, listen it’s your mother. Gram and Pop had to take her to the hospital. She’ll be okay, but she needed to get stitches.”

  My heart stuttered in my chest. “Stitches? What happened?”

  “I don’t really know. Mom just said she had an episode during dinner and was banging on the window...and the glass broke.”

  I looked over and Ethan met my eyes curiously.

  “We’re almost home, meet me there.” I clicked my phone shut and leaned my head against the back of the seat. “My mom broke a window with her hand. She needs stitches.”

  I looked over at Ethan, expecting to see pity, but, thankfully he just nodded and kept driving.

  “Do you want me to take you to the hospital?” he asked, his voice gentle.

  “You don’t mind?”

  Ethan clenched his jaw, and I looked away. “Of course I don’t mind. You should probably text Nicole and let her know, though.”

  ***

  We drove the rest of the way in silence, a million feelings—namely guilt—running through my mind. I should have been there. I should never have gone out. But what would it have mattered if I was there? Would I have been able to help? Oh god, did Liam show up again? I was starting to hyperventilate.

  Ethan placed a hand on my knee as he parked the car, and for once, my heart rate slowed rather than raced. “She’ll be okay,” he said.

  I nodded, and then we hurried into the emergency department, scanning the crowded lobby. I didn’t see my grandparents anywhere, so I headed to the Triage station where a middle-aged woman was typing something into the computer. She didn’t even look up when I arrived. I bounced on the balls of my feet for a second, waiting for her to greet me. Finally, I coughed to get her attention.

  She glanced up at me. “Can I help you?” she asked, her voice nasally.

  “Yes, my mother is here—Elizabeth O’Malley. I need to know where I can find her.”

  “Just a minute.” She yawned and typed a few strokes into her keyboard.

  I looked over at Ethan to find him watching me, his expression anxious. As I turned my attention back to the woman at the desk, I saw Pop walking to
ward us, carrying two coffees.

  “Thanks, I’m all set,” I said to the receptionist. She returned my gaze with a bland expression.

  “Allison, what are you doing here?” Pop asked, glancing between me and Ethan.

  “Nic called and said you had to bring Mom in for stitches, so Ethan drove me over. How is she? Is she okay?”

  He smiled tiredly. “She’ll be fine. Twelve stitches in her left hand. Those darn birds in the yard were making an awful racket. She was really upset.” Pop shook his head and motioned for us to follow him.

  “Al, do you want me to take off?” Ethan asked. “I can stay if you want me to.”

  I looked at him. “You can go. I’ll be fine.”

  He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked out the huge glass window in the lobby. “Okay, well, let me know if you need anything.”

  I smiled and nodded. “Thanks for bringing me, Ethan. I owe you.”

  The corner of his mouth lifted. That was a look I recognized. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  Chapter 4

  Gram was sitting at the table with a clipboard when I walked into the kitchen the next morning, remaking the chart that kept track of my mother’s medication schedule. She now had to add painkillers to the anti-psychotic drugs she already took daily.

  I watched my grandmother fill in the sheet, whispering to herself about the dosages and medication names. I wondered, not for the first time, if I’d actually be able to handle the medications and care of my mother on my own.

  I pulled my hair back into a ponytail. I had to work the ten o’clock shift at the hardware store. My grandfather wasn’t working that morning, but I didn’t see him around the house. Then the sight of the plastic covering the window in the living room gave me a pretty good idea where he was.

  I poked my head into the den to check on my mother. The sight of the bandage on her hand wasn’t what upset me most. She just sat there in a chair, staring at the trees. Pain was written in the tight lines around her mouth and eyes. Knowing she was on pain meds, I guessed it wasn’t something physical.

  I cleared my throat quietly, letting her know I was in the room. At first I didn’t think she’d look at me, but after several heartbeats she turned her head toward me. A tiny gasp escaped before I could cover my mouth with my palm. Her eyes were vacant and dull, but it didn’t mask her misery. I had never seen her so despondent.

  I made my way into the room and sat on the sofa across from her. She shifted her gaze back toward the window. I wished I knew what went on in her mind when she was like this. Maybe then I could help. Was she thinking about Liam? How would she react if she actually saw him again?

  The screen door creaked from the porch, and I heard my grandfather’s voice. And then Ethan’s . . .

  From where I sat I could see him walk in carrying a new window. He was dressed for work in his hunter green Magliaro Construction T-shirt. The muscles in his forearms were taut as he brought the window into the living room. The door slammed, and my grandfather followed.

  With a small sigh, I rose and tiptoed out of the den, leaving my mother still staring out into the woods. I grabbed my keys from the sideboard in the living room as Ethan measured the frame of the window with a tape measure, a pencil stuck between his lips. I smiled at how boyish he looked.

  “I’m off to work.” I walked over to the table in the kitchen and placed my hand gently on Gram’s back and kissed her hair.

  “Oh, honey. Did you get something to eat?” She pushed her papers away and looked up at me with a frown.

  “I’ll just grab something on my break.” I smiled to reassure her, even though I knew better.

  “Give me just one minute. I’ll pack you a lunch.”

  “If it will make you feel better, I’ll come home for lunch?” I met her gaze, wishing she wouldn’t worry about me so much.

  Gram’s frown smoothed. “That’d be good.”

  I shook my head and sighed, but I was still smiling in spite of myself. I turned to leave, and Ethan met my eyes, his expression unsure.

  “How’s your mom today?”

  I twisted the end of my ponytail, “She seems okay,” I said. “Thanks for helping with the window.”

  Ethan looked down at the floor. For a second I thought he might be embarrassed but when he looked up his roguish smile set my cheeks on fire.

  “My pleasure, Allison.”

  The look on his face spread the blush down my neck, and I hurried toward the front door. As I walked out, I could still feel Ethan watching me.

  ***

  “Which color would you go with, Allison?”

  I looked up from the ordering screen on the computer to see Gus Baker holding two strips of paint chips up for me, frown lines etched between his winged eyebrows. I took a deep breath before walking over to the counter where Gus stood waiting for me, his watery blue eyes watching me. From across the counter, I could smell the tang of dirty laundry and decaying teeth.

  I tried not to be annoyed at the little old man, but Gus was in here every day. I guess he was lonely, but he spent as much time in this store as I did. And he never bought anything.

  “I’d go with the eucalyptus green,” I said in my friendliest voice.

  “I just don’t know. There are so many of these colors! How does anyone choose?” Gus grumbled, his eyes intent on my face.

  I swallowed, forcing my smile to stay in place as I breathed through my mouth. I just wanted to get the big order that just came in all set for Pop, but Gus had been here for the past forty-five minutes comparing shades of green. I sighed inwardly. He needed to find a new hangout.

  The door jingled, signaling a new arrival. I glanced at the door. Ethan. Figures.

  Seeing me, his eyes lit up and his face broke into a stomach-twisting half-smile. I shook my head at him, and he chuckled. He knew the effect that grin had on girls, obviously.

  Gus’s rumbly throat-clearing brought me back to reality. He was still watching me, waiting for my reply as though his life depended on it.

  “Maybe going with green is a bad idea, after all,” Gus said. “I guess I’ll just keep it the way it is.”

  I nodded and closed my eyes to hide my exasperation. When I reopened them, Ethan was standing a few aisles back, toying with the foam paintbrushes. His smirk stayed firmly in place, his dimples doing a number on my willpower.

  “You know,” Gus said. “I’ve heard the lunch special down at The Pickle Barrel includes a meal for two for ten dollars. I would really like to treat you sometime. You’re such a big help to me here.”

  I opened my mouth in shock, staring back at Gus without replying. I could hear snickering from the paintbrush aisle and glared in Ethan’s direction as he coughed to cover up his amusement.

  I had to say something, but words wouldn’t come. Gus just looked at me with his cloudy eyes wide and hopeful.

  “Hey, how’s it going Gus?” Ethan sauntered over and clapped Gus on the back. I cocked my head at him in confusion.

  “Oh,” Gus sputtered. “Hey, there yourself, Ethan. How’s the family?”

  Everyone knew everyone in this town. You couldn’t go anywhere without someone asking about your family.

  “Doing well, thanks. I’m just popping in to bring my girl her lunch.” He grinned and held out a little brown lunch sack. My eyes widened with surprise. Now what is he doing?

  “Your girl, huh?” Gus looked between Ethan and me, his expression crestfallen. “Well, that’s great.” Gus stared at me a minute longer before muttering something about seeing me later and shuffling toward the exit.

  “You’re welcome,” Ethan said, waggling his eyebrows at me.

  “Who said I was your girl?” I huffed, placing my hands on my hips. I tried to be serious but a laugh escaped. The relief of avoiding turning down Gus’s invitation kept my annoyance at Ethan’s remark at bay.

  Ethan placed the lunch sack on the counter and leaned forward on his palms. “Just having a little fun.”

  I rol
led my eyes at him.

  “How long have you had poor Gus smitten?” Ethan was still leaning forward, his big brown eyes glowing with humor.

  “Poor Gus is just lonely. He’s in here just about every day.”

  Ethan shook his head and placed a hand over his heart. “I know how he feels. The poor sap.”

  “So, what are you really doing here, besides saving Gus from heartache?” I asked, heading back to the computer and perching myself on the stool to work on the order.

  “After I put in the window, your grandmother asked me to bring this down . . . .to save you having to come home for lunch.”

  I snorted, keeping my eyes on the screen.

  “And, I don’t intend on forgetting our little wager.” He straightened and crossed his arms, daring me to protest.

  I laughed. “What, here? While I’m at work?” I avoided his eyes. Many girls had gotten lost in those eyes, but I knew better.

  “What time do you get off work?” he asked.

  I turned and narrowed my eyes at him. “I close at six. Then I have to balance the register, so around six thirty.”

  Ethan looked down at his hands for a second, then glanced up at me through his thick lashes. “You want to get something to eat when you’re done?”

  I licked my lips, his dark brown eyes pulling me in. I tore my gaze away and tried to focus on the computer screen. He didn’t say anything for a few moments, and I fidgeted, knowing he was watching me. When I turned toward him, his expression was so intense that my stomach somersaulted.

  “Just one time,” he said quietly.

  “What?”

  “Say yes, just one time.” Ethan slowly moved behind the counter, his eyes never leaving mine.

  “If you don’t have a good time, fine. But, I’ve been trying to get you to give me a chance for years. Don’t act like you didn’t know.”

  I shook my head slightly as he approached, wanting him closer but afraid of what it would mean.

  He stopped, his brow creasing. “I won’t hurt you,” he whispered.

  His expression was so earnest my mind went blank for a moment.

  “Ethan,” I began, my thoughts scrambled. “You know I’d like to—”