“Phoebe, I swear I wasn’t trying to do anything like that. My thing with Vivian was over a long time ago, I just didn’t know how to get loose of her. Writing that note was an act of desperation.”
I laughed as I remembered his expression when I’d grabbed the note. There was no way I ever wanted to forget it.
We wove our way through the crowd toward the arcade games. I wasn’t much for video games, but I did love the claw machines. The only one working was filled with stuffed animals on one side and a candy bin on the other. I loved that no matter what, you came out a winner, because if you didn’t get a toy it gave you chance after chance to get a piece of candy.
“Let’s play this one,” I said and chose to ignore his ‘are you crazy’ look. I pulled a dollar from my purse and fed it to the machine. Music and lights roared to live and I grabbed the stick and directed the claw over a Stewie doll jammed into the corner. I jumped up and down when it pulled Stewie from the pile, only to groan as it slipped from the claw’s grasp inches from the hole. I did manage to grab a piece of candy on my first try, and tossed it in my purse. It was one of those toffees that stuck to your teeth forever. No way was I going to eat it on a date.
“Amateur,” Nathan said and gently bumped me out of the way with his hip. He stuck in his dollar and positioned the claw, grabbing the stuffed doll that I’d lost. This time though, Stewie hung in and fell into the bin. Nathan reached in and pulled the stuffed doll out.
“Wow, just what I always wanted.” He cuddled the doll like a little girl, smiling gloatingly at me.
“You’re a cheat. No way would you have won that if I hadn’t pulled him from the corner.”
A loud, angry voice coming from the corner of the lobby broke into our conversation and both of us glanced in that direction. I started to dismiss it until I spotted a familiar face at the center of it.
Tonya stood, her back pressed to the wall with Trevor only inches away. Neither of them looked very happy, and I was tempted to go over, but I knew she’d be pissed. Was it really my place to get into their business?
“You wanna go over?” Nathan asked.
“I don’t think so. It looks like they’re arguing.”
I kept watching them. Everything about Tonya’s posture seemed off. Her arms crossed over her chest and her head dipped down trying to evade Trevor as he thrust his face toward hers. Maybe I should have gone over, but even as the thought entered my mind, the two of them moved toward the door.
“You okay?” Nathan’s voice eventually penetrated the fog in my head.
“Yeah. Sorry, it was just weird to see Tonya like that. I’ve never known her to take crap from anyone. Usually she’s one of those in your face fighters.”
“We can catch up to them, if you want.”
“Nah, I’m sure she’s fine. Besides, you promised me some ice cream.”
“Didn’t you just polish off a huge ass bucket of popcorn?”
“What can I say, you make me so hungry.” I wriggled my brows. He threw an arm around my shoulder, while keeping his grip on the Stewie doll with the other.
An hour later, I was on the front porch savoring the fact that I hadn’t foregone the ice cream as he gave me a chocolate flavored kiss goodnight. Even without the lingering taste of chocolate, he would have been delicious. How Chloe could be so sure that sex was not in my near future was beyond me.
“Chloe must be wrong,” I said, pulling back just an inch.
“About what?” His words made me realize I was talking aloud.
“Oh, nothing important,” I said sure that I blushed at even the idea of telling him my thoughts.
“Some kind of psychic stuff, huh?”
“Yeah.”
The porch light flicked on, totally dousing the mood. Nathan stepped back and we both instinctively looked toward the door. Heat filled my cheeks when I found my dad standing in the doorway.
“Hey, Mr. Matlin.”
“Nathan.” Dad nodded. “It’s getting a bit late.”
“Yes, sir. I’ll talk to you later, Phoebs. Night.”
“Night,” I said, giving a half wave as he headed to his car. Dad disappeared from the door, but I waited until Nathan backed out of the drive before going inside. Dad sat on the couch, his feet propped up on the old sewing footstool his mom had left Lily when she died.
“Thanks, Dad.” I tried to control the sarcasm, but it was hard. Having him watch over my shoulder was not the way I’d pictured ending my first date with Nathan.
“You’re welcome.” His grin told me he understood all too well the frustration I felt. “Next time tell Nathan there’s no necking on the porch.”
“Dad!”
“Phoebe, there are some things I need to know and others that I don’t. As long as you’re safe and happy, I don’t need to see things like that.” His smile faded. “You’ll always be my little girl.”
“No way do you do this to Lily.”
“Not now, but trust me, Dylan went through the same thing Nathan’s going to.”
I didn’t hear from Nathan the next day, but I knew he was working so I hadn’t expected it. Tonya on the other hand was MIA as well and that was totally not like her. I tried calling her cell, but she’d turned it off and I gave up after a couple of tries, not wanting to seem stalkerish.
The absence of both of them did give me more time to contemplate the way Tonya had acted the night before. She’d looked so meek. It reminded me of how she acted every time she went to visit her mom. Maybe her mom was back out, and she was just acting out in fear. Each time Shondra got out of jail, Tonya was in a constant state of upheaval with her mom threatening to take her to L.A. or San Diego.
I’d talk to her on Monday, I decided.
Monday morning the hallways were jam packed as I shouldered my way through the throngs to get into the chemistry lab. Tonya was already at our table and I plunked down in the chair next to her.
“Hey, I tried calling you yesterday,” I said and pulled out my experiment notes.
“Oh, sorry. Trevor took me to the San Diego zoo.”
“Sweet. I haven’t been there in years.”
“It was awesome. He kept making these silly faces at the otters and it was so cute. He is amazing. He said it was his favorite place to go and that since I’m so special to him, he wanted to share it with me.” Her eyes got a dreamy look in them.
My romantic gag reflex wasn’t as strong as it was before my date with Nathan, but this Trevor was going down a pretty sappy road.
“Wow, sounds perfect,” I forced myself to say. It was hard to keep the edge of mockery out of my voice. No reason to piss her off.
“He is. Phoebs, I really think I’m in love.” She sighed and my eyes rolled. “Don’t give me that look. I’m serious this time. Trevor’s not one of these high school boys that I can boss around. He’s strong and smart, I feel like a little dumb girl sometimes when he’s talking about the courses he’s going to be signing up for.”
Feeling dumb wasn’t what I would go for in a relationship, but I could get what she was saying about bossing guys around. Nathan had been bossing me around a bit, and it was kind of sexy, but I doubted I’d let it go on too long. I liked being in control a bit too much. Besides, I did have a mind of my own.
We began setting up our experiment. Luckily, it was a simple lab all the chemistry teachers did at the beginning of the year, because Tonya kept going on and on about Trevor. From what it seemed, he’d either been with her, talking to her, or texting her every waking minute. A little creepy, but she seemed overjoyed by the attention.
“What did you do this weekend?” she asked when she eventually ran out of Trevor stories.
“Nathan and I went to the movies.”
“Please tell me he took you to that horror movie you wanted to see, because there’s no way in hell I’m going to that with you,” she said.
“Yeah, and trust me there are benefits to watching a scary movie on a date.”
“Gross, no de
tails. I know you and just what you would do in the dark with Nathan. You start drooling every time you even think of him, which is pretty much all the time now.”
“Ha-ha. Anyways, it was nice to go see a decent movie for once. Not those cheesy romances you always drag me to. We saw you and Trevor afterwards.” I tried to fit the last bit in casually, and wondered if, okay hoped, she would tell me what they’d been arguing about.
“Oh, I didn’t see you.” She averted her gaze back to Lily’s notes from last semester. Any interest in her voice was completely gone. I took it as her way of telling me to leave the subject alone.
“Let’s get started,” I said.
We pulled on our aprons, and I wished I’d been fast enough to get one of the few lab coats. I hated to ruin good clothing by spilling the science crap on me. Thank God, we hadn’t worked with anything actually dangerous yet. I was hoping by next year, they’d have purchased more coats, otherwise I was dropping all of my science classes.
Tonya tied my apron behind my back as I switched on a Bunsen burner and moved to the first step in our procedure. I flipped through my notes, struggling to decipher my writing, finally giving up and going to the copy of Lily’s notes she’d done for her class. Lucky for Tonya and me, Lily hadn’t decided to take physics instead. We would have been screwed without her. Although I suppose we could have asked Karin for help, but in Tonya’s words, she’d rather eat her own crap than ask Karin for help again.
“First we turn on the burner. Done,” I said and pointed to it. “Then...Hey, grab another beaker.”
Tonya reached across the table to grab the breaker, her sleeve barely missing the flame.
“Watch it,” I said, shoving her arm away from the little blue flame. “Roll up your sleeves before you set yourself on fire.”
“You know I’m already too hot,” she joked and pushed up her sleeves and then went back to work. “So, next we’re supposed to use the tongs and put the beaker over the flame.”
Tonya lifted the beaker and put it in place. I watched her hand steady it, but something further up her arm drew my eye. Her smooth brown skin was marred by five round marks. Deep, angry bruises - the exact imprints that would be left if someone had grabbed her. Grabbed her hard.
“What the hell happened to you?” I blurted the question out, letting my fingers skim the marks.
“Nothing.” She pulled her sleeve down. I didn’t need the cramps to tell me she was lying.
“It looks like someone grabbed you. Did Trevor do that?” I grabbed her wrist with one hand while the other shoved the shirt up to completely expose the purple marks.
“It’s nothing.” She tugged against my hold.
“That’s not nothing. Did he do this?”
She yanked her arm away and I let go easily not wanting to hurt her anymore. Was that why she had flinched when I’d grabbed her arm earlier?
“Drop it, Phoebe.” Her tone was flat and she refused to meet my gaze.
“How can you tell me to drop it? If he did that...” I couldn’t believe she would tell me to do that. That wasn’t the kind of thing I could just forget seeing.
“You promised you wouldn’t push.”
“This is completely different, Tonya. He hurt you.” I thought of the seemingly endless praise she had been giving him, and nearly puked with the next painful contraction of my stomach.
“My mom came home, okay? So drop it.” She snatched her pencil off the table and started writing in her notebook.
I didn’t want to drop it. Mainly because, even if the voice weren’t ringing through my head, it still wouldn’t feel right. Shondra wasn’t the greatest mom in the world, but in the ten years I’d been friends with Tonya, her mom had never laid a finger on her. Her gran wouldn’t have allowed it. She was strict, but no one hit her babies.
My hand trembled as I forced myself through the next few steps of the procedure. I wanted to shake some sense into Tonya. I wanted her to let me help.
“Stop it,” Tonya said, not even looking up from our notes.
“Stop what?”
“You’re trying to figure out how to get around your promise to back off.” She held up a hand when I started to defend myself. “If you don’t want to be left to do the rest of this experiment alone, then I suggest you keep your questions to yourself.”
My mouth opened and closed like a fish, until I gave up. “Do you want me to find Lily?”
“No.” She gave a small smile, accepting my peace offering. “I’d rather not have anyone else see. You know, in case Mom got in trouble or something.”
A bitter taste coated my mouth. In all the years I’d craved a gift, been angry at my mom, and then my sisters for having what I didn’t, I’d never dreamed there’d be a day that I’d wish I could believe a lie.
I felt sick. The image of Tonya’s arm kept flashing through my mind. Part of me wanted to keep pushing her, to say I knew she was lying, but another part knew she’d been serious about me backing off. If I questioned her more, she’d shut me out and then I’d never find out what happened. So instead, I kept quiet.
I didn’t see her for the rest of the day after chemistry class. I wasn’t sure I wanted to see her, at least until I knew what I would say.
After my last class, I found Nathan waiting at my locker, hands shoved into his pockets and leaning against the one next to mine. I went around him, giving him a slight smile. He rolled around so he was propped up by his shoulder and watched me dig around for my things.
“What was up with you today?” he asked. “And don’t say nothing, ‘cause you were bitchy to everyone, including Lily.”
Nathan wasn’t the first person I would have thought of talking to about Tonya, but there really wasn’t anyone else I trusted enough. Lily maybe, but she might say something to Dylan and then it’d be all over the school. And Chloe just had a big mouth. Last time I told her a secret I ended up with tampons hanging off my locker. Sixth grade had been pure hell after that.
Thinking about it, maybe Nathan was the person I was supposed to tell. What’s the point in having a boyfriend if you can’t talk to him? Well, besides the fun stuff.
“Tonya had bruises on her arm this morning.” I put my books in, for once taking the time to organize my stuff.
“So? Maybe they were left over from the accident. She banged herself up pretty good then. My dad said that the truck was totaled and they were lucky to walk away from it.”
“That was over a week ago. And these weren’t accident bruises.” I slammed my locker shut and finally looked at him. Even now, those deep blue-purple marks stayed with me. “They were made by someone grabbing her arm.”
“Who do you think did it?” He took my hand and we walked down the hall to the exit.
“She said her mom did.”
“And you don’t believe her?”
I thought of everything I knew about Shondra James. “Shondra’s been in and out of jail all Tonya’s life. Every time she gets out, she makes all these promises to Tonya. She’s gonna change, she’s not gonna hook up with any guys. Stuff like that. After a few weeks, she’s back on drugs again and threatens to take Tonya away. I don’t think she’s been out of jail longer than eight months straight in Tonya’s entire life.”
“So it’s possible Tonya’s telling the truth?”
“No. And not just ‘cause some voice told me. Her mom never laid a hand on her before, and when one of her boyfriends hit Tonya, she booted him. That’s probably the only time Shondra’s ever put Tonya first.” I shook my head.
“So if it wasn’t her mom, then who?”
“Trevor.”
“Her boyfriend? You asked her?” His right eyebrow raised in question.
“Yeah, and she wouldn’t answer. Just avoided saying anything.”
“So, naturally you think he did it.”
I knew he wasn’t trying to be sarcastic, but the words got my back up. I yanked my hand from his.
“I didn’t imagine those bruises. I didn’t i
magine her practically begging me to back off, and I didn’t imagine her lying about her mom doing it.”
“That’s not what I meant. It’s just... before you start accusing him and demanding answers maybe you should check him out, or something.” He grabbed my hand again, pulling me a bit closer to him. “Maybe he did it, but there’s a perfectly good reason, like she was about to be hit by a car and he grabbed her or something and she didn’t think you’d believe her.”
I shrugged a shoulder. Crap. I hated logic. “So how am I supposed to check him out?”
“We could ask my dad to do a background check. He’s got access to that kind of stuff.”
“I don’t think that would help.” I shook my head. “Besides, Tonya would freak if she knew I’d done that.”
“Well, what if you hired a private detective to watch him.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, because I’ve got a money tree growing in my closet. That’s why all my clothes are on the floor.”
“Okay, okay. I’m just trying to help.”
“I know,” I said and bumped his hip with mine. We stopped next to my car and I fished the keys from my backpack. I opened the door and leaned in to start the engine. I sat in the driver’s seat and let my legs hang out the door. Nathan stood in front of me, resting his arms on the car frame, and ducking his head down to mine.
“I don’t think this is something you can help with,” I said. Then a random idea popped into my head. “Actually, maybe you can help.”
“Am I going to like this? It’s not going to be like that Science Fair project you tricked me into helping you with last year, is it?” Nathan asked.
“No. Besides, that was only a disaster because you decided to bring Vivian along.” I stopped him with a raised hand when he started to defend himself. “Anyways, back to Tonya. You can help me by going on a double date.”
“Double date?”
“You don’t sound too excited.”
“Those are kind of middle school, don’t ya think?”
“That’s beside the point. If we go on a double date with them, then I can catch him in a lie.”
“So, say you’re right and he is hurting Tonya. How are you going to get him to lie about it? It’s not as if you can just ask him. Even I know Tonya would spaz.”
PANDORA Page 110
