PANDORA

by Rebecca Hamilton

  “Where’s Dylan?” Karin asked, glancing over at the empty car.

  “The manager was having some computer problem. I guess since Dylan’s used the new ones downtown, they asked him to help.”

  “Come sit,” I said and patted Nathan’s empty spot beside me. She looked absolutely drained and I felt bad for practically forcing her to come. Even though she hadn’t looked tired earlier, it seemed as if she were about ready to collapse. She almost fell as she climbed up, but managed to pull herself up and sat on Nathan’s side of the body pillow we’d been sharing.

  “Do you mind if I watch the next movie out here?” she asked, avoiding my gaze.

  “Sure. You okay?” I didn’t play the protective older sister routine often, I usually left that to Chloe, but sometimes Lily would get that lost little girl look and I wanted to just curl my arms around her. I didn’t give in very often, mainly based on my theory that two minutes didn’t make me wiser, stronger, or more daring. Chloe, however, claimed her five-minute head start on us made her much superior to us mentally, emotionally and physically.

  “Yeah, I’m alright. It’s just...Dylan isn’t feeling well, so it’s a bit draining being with him right now.”

  “You know you don’t have to heal him if you don’t want to,” I said.

  “It’s not really a choice when you’re sitting half a foot away.”

  “Well, you can chill with us and Dylan can enjoy his pity party in the car alone.” I swung an arm over her shoulders and squeezed it briefly, then scooted over a bit to give her some space, not wanting her to feel something inside of me that needed healing.

  Owen and Nathan arrived with food and although Nathan quirked an eyebrow at Lily sitting in his spot, he didn’t say a word. Instead, he plopped himself on my other side and handed me a bucket of buttery popcorn.

  “Hey, I thought you were getting me a hot dog?” I said, scrunching up my forehead and striving for an evil eye.

  “Well, I figured you didn’t need it since I’m already-”

  “Please don’t finish that,” Bianca said over her shoulder. Nathan and Owen chuckled and it occurred to me that Owen was probably more of a guy than I’d ever realized before. I elbowed Nathan lightly and rolled my eyes. Guys could be such pervs.

  The second movie was slightly better, if only fashion wise. The plot was eerily similar to the first and the acting sucked, but it had at least been filmed after I was born. Dylan reappeared shortly after it started and frowned at Lily, but kept his mouth shut. He watched the first part of the movie in his car, sulking I would guess, and then finally joined us on the truck, ending up beside Owen since I had squished Lily against the edge. She needed a healing break.

  When the next intermission came, I decided to try and get Tonya to join us. It wasn’t so much that I wanted her to be with us, as I didn’t want her to be with Trevor. Nathan gave me a knowing look as I scooted over the edge and hopped to the ground. Walking around to Trevor’s truck, I knocked on Tonya’s window, glad to see that they weren’t making out.

  “What’s up?” Tonya asked once her window had rolled down completely. She avoided looking at me, but I could see her eyes rimmed with red and faint tear tracks on her cheek. Getting Tonya to join us suddenly felt a lot more vital.

  “I was wondering if I could talk to you. It’s really important.”

  I watched her glance at Trevor, who scowled and made some remark under his breath. It pissed me off, and suddenly my mouth was running.

  “Is that a problem, Trevor?” I snapped.

  “Phoebs, don’t start,” Tonya said.

  “What? He can be a prick and I shouldn’t call him on it?”

  Trevor leaned over, his arm extended with his finger jutting toward me. “Listen, bitch, I’m sick of taking your crap. You think I’m stupid or something? I know you turned off Tonya’s phone and you’re always talking smack about me behind my back.”

  The car and Tonya between us fed my courage.

  “Yeah, I turned her phone off. You were practically stalking her. I got sick of hearing how you can’t let her do anything without you.” My voice had risen and I could feel the stillness of my friends behind me. “Now if you don’t mind I’d like to talk to my friend.”

  I stepped back, feeling pretty smug, even if my legs were shaking. The self-satisfaction fled instantly though when Trevor suddenly got out of the vehicle and came around to the side where I stood. Instinct propelled me backwards until I ran into a human wall that smelled of Nathan.

  “Back off, Trevor,” Nathan said. I glanced back at him and although he looked calm, I could feel how tense he was. Owen and Dylan stood slightly off to our left, while Bianca, Karin, and Lily were kneeling in the back of the truck watching with widened eyes.

  “Tell your bitch to shut the hell up then, and mind her own damn business.” He took another step closer. Tonya quickly got out of the truck and placed a hand on his arm. He shrugged her off the first time, but the second time she reached for him he turned and cuffed her on the chin, causing her fall back against the truck and cry out in pain.

  Every bit of me froze in astonishment and horror. Had he really just hit my best friend right in front of me? In front of all of us? I waited for some reaction from Tonya, but there was no shock or anger, just a subtle shifting away, a cowering. Even as I went to make my move, Nathan was pushing me behind him and going for Trevor.

  Everything happened so fast. Nathan swung his fist and connected with Trevor’s face. Trevor stumbled back, colliding with Tonya and fell when she shifted out of his way. We all just stood there, none of us really certain what to say or do.

  “Get the hell out of here,” Nathan said.

  “You can’t kick me out.” Trevor spat out a stream of red tinted spit, and pushed himself up to his feet.

  “No, but I can,” Dylan said. He probably couldn’t, yet he spoke with an authority that convinced Trevor.

  “Tonya, get in. We’re leaving.” Trevor went around to his side of his truck and finally looked at her. She was still standing there, her hand cradling her chin and tears streaming down her face. “Now!” he yelled.

  “Screw you,” I snarled and went over to Tonya, curling her into a hug. “Come on, let’s go to the restroom.”

  Tonya hesitated, her eyes shifting from me to Trevor, then back again.

  “Tee, it’ll just get worse if you go with him,” I said.

  “I just want to go home,” she whispered, keeping her head down.

  Trevor didn’t say another word, just got in his truck and pulled out of his spot, flipping us off as he drove away, maneuvering his way between the parked vehicles.

  “Everybody is staring,” Tonya said softly and I shot them all a look over her head. They took the hint and scattered.

  Owen, Karin, and Bianca squeezed into the back of Dylan’s little car, while Dylan got into the driver’s seat. Lily hovered just behind Tonya, her hands twitching at her sides. I gave her a slight nod, and she lifted her hand to Tonya’s back, touching her so gently I wondered if she really felt Lily at all until she spoke.

  “Thanks, Lils.” Tonya pulled away from me and smiled over her shoulder at Lily, who made her way to Dylan’s car. Her immediate pain was gone, but considering the red swelling that was building along her jaw, she was going to be feeling it later.

  We got into the truck and Nathan pulled out silently, trying not to hit any of the parked vehicles. He knew if he scratched the truck, he was a dead man.

  Tonya didn’t say anything on the drive home and I wasn’t sure what to say. ‘I told you so’ was on the tip of my tongue, but I knew uttering those words would turn me into a horrible person. We pulled up to her house ten minutes later and I opened my mouth to speak.

  “Don’t,” Tonya said, her voice quivering just a bit. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  She climbed from the truck and Nathan and I watched, not pulling away until she was safely inside with the door locked behind her.

  Once she was go
ne, emotions flooded me. Anguish at what Tonya had suffered. Horror that I had witnessed something like that. Anger that suffocated me. I had let this happen. I knew that Trevor was a liar, that he had hurt Tonya in the past, but I hadn’t listened to my gift. I’d let Tonya, Nanna, and Nathan convince me I was wrong and that he wasn’t so bad.

  Tonya had been guided by love and fear. Nanna had never met the guy, and honestly, she hadn’t told me I was wrong about him, just to not rely entirely upon my gift. Nathan, though, he had seen the bruises. He had met Trevor. And he had been the one to blackmail me into giving Trevor a chance. A chance to beat up my friend.

  “Jesus, I can’t believe that happened,” he said, and flexed the hand he’d punched Trevor with.

  “Really? Because I could have sworn that I told you what an ass the guy was.”

  The truck lurched, and Nathan stared at me in shock. There was no way he could have missed my fury.

  “What is that supposed to mean?” he asked, pulling over to the side of the road.

  “It means I knew that he’d hurt Tonya and you kept telling me I was wrong.” I gazed out the side window, not wanting to look at him. Guilt was eating at my heart, creating a pain so intense that I could barely focus.

  “I didn’t say you were wrong, Phoebs. I told you to give him a chance and get to know him before you passed your all mighty judgment.”

  “No, you blackmailed me,” I said and brushed off the hand he rested on my arm. My stomach twisted with guilt, quickly churning it into righteous anger. “You told me you would break up with me if I didn’t stop trying to convince people about what he really was like. He never would have had a chance to hurt her again if I hadn’t given in to you.”

  “You really think that’s what I meant? That I didn’t care if he was hurting her?”

  “Obviously not.”

  “I can’t fricking believe this!” His palm slammed the top of the steering wheel. “You’re blaming me for not knowing the guy was abusive?”

  “You knew! I told you what he’d done. I told you-” I turned to face him, crossing my arms over my chest.

  “You told me some voice in your head called him a liar. That the same voice in your head called Tonya a liar when she covered up some bruises. You know what my dad would do if one of his officers told him some voice in their head was telling them things? He’d have them into the department shrink before they could even blink.”

  “So you don’t believe that I have this gift?”

  “No. Yes. Jesus, Phoebe, I don’t know. This is seriously crazy shit.”

  Crazy. He thought I was crazy. I literally felt my heart break. It squeezed tightly for just a moment and then exploded into a shower of confetti, the delicate pieces leaving a horrible hollow ache where my heart should have been. Maybe that was why I’d always tried to keep the teasing between us, tried to make things into some game. Because underneath everything, and behind the sweet kisses, I knew that he didn’t really accept me. That he thought I was crazy.

  My silence must have registered with him, because he sighed deeply and put the truck back into gear. We drove the rest of the way back to my house without a word. When he pulled up, I jumped from the vehicle and practically ran for the door. I knew he was following, but I didn’t look back.

  “Phoebe, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t think you’re crazy, I just can’t accept things like that without proof. Even you said that you couldn’t be sure what had happened to cause those bruises.”

  “I was sure until you planted doubts in my head. You let this happen, Nathan. You. And I don’t think I can forgive that.” My eyes flicked over him and then quickly away. I shoved the key into the lock and opened the door, letting the soft glow of the foyer lamp meld with that of the porch light.

  “So... what now? That’s it? We’re done?”

  “I need some time.” My voice cracked and I hated myself for showing a hint of weakness.

  “Time. Sure, whatever. Time for you to decide whether or not I caused Trevor to hit Tonya. Time to figure out if maybe you should have spent some of your efforts convincing Tonya about him instead of me.” He paused and I knew he wanted me to give some kind of protest, but I couldn’t. This was his fault. Eventually, he gave up waiting. “Fine. I’m outta here.”

  I watched the tail lights of the truck disappear down the road, and was still standing there ten minutes later when the lights from Dylan’s car flashed across me as he pulled into the driveway. I didn’t move until Lily began walking purposefully toward me. Then I ran. I couldn’t let Lily make this better. I needed to feel the hurt. I needed to remember why I shouldn’t want to call Nathan already.

  My room was cold and empty. Even curling up under the covers didn’t help. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing them to hold in the tears that wanted so badly to fall. I’d gone to bed angry, furious with Nathan and Trevor. But in the light of the morning, I just felt alone.

  I stayed huddled in bed until a soft knock at my door propelled me from my cushy haven. Lily called through, but I didn’t answer her. I knew she wanted to help, but I wasn’t ready for it. At my desk, I sifted through a piled of papers, searching for something, anything, that would take my mind off Nathan.

  My cell phone was tucked under Lily’s notes that I’d borrowed and I flipped it over and over in the palm of my hand before pressing the screen. I stared as it lit up and my fingers twitched. Nathan’s name and number popped up on the screen. It had been less than twelve hours since I broke up with him, but I already wanted to hear his voice. I’d never thought I’d be so weak or needy. My thumb drifted over the send button, but at the last moment, I scrolled to the next name and kept going until Tonya’s name appeared.

  Talking to Nathan right then wouldn’t do any good. I was still too angry. Tonya was really the one I needed to speak with, but I dreaded that conversation. What would I say? ‘Sorry your boyfriend punched you’ or ‘sorry I pissed Trevor off so much that he punched you instead of me’ didn’t seem quite right. ‘Sorry I was right’ sounded even worse.

  A knock at my door gave me stalling time, and I gratefully dropped the cell onto my desk.

  “Come in,” I said, swirling my chair around.

  “Hey.” Chloe peeked around the door. “Just wanted to see how you were feeling.”

  “Like crap. You may as well come in.” I spun my chair in circles as she sat on the bed. “Did you know?”

  “A bit. I only had glimpses, and they didn’t fit together too well.”

  “But you knew about Tonya and Trevor? And about Nathan and me?” I tried to sound blasÉ, but didn’t quite manage.

  “Yes.” The word came softly yet still it pierced my chest.

  “How could you not have told me?” My feet dropped to the ground and halted the nauseating spins.

  “Phoebe, you know my visions are the future. They can’t be changed.”

  “That’s crap! Not everything you’ve predicted lately has happened, and you know it.”

  “Well, obviously I was right this time. What should I have done instead? Huh? Told you and ruined the entire night for you, while you waited for Trevor to pounce? What would the point have been?”

  “I don’t know, but Tonya is hurt and you could have done something to prevent it.” I crossed my arms over my chest and gave her the evil eye.

  “You know what, Phoebe? You blame Nathan and me, and I know you’re going to dump on Nanna, but what about you? And Trevor? Or even Tonya?” She mimicked my pose.

  “Tonya didn’t ask to be hit!” I snapped back. “I tried to warn her, but everyone else said I was being silly.”

  “I didn’t say she asked for it." She rolled her eyes. "But she knew what he was like and she stayed with him anyway. Maybe you should find out why.”

  “God, I hate it when you get all smug and self-righteous.” My lips curled on one side in a sneer.

  “That’s not what I’m trying to do, Phoebs.”

  “Whatever." I twisted away from h
er and snatched up a pair of jeans from the floor. "Now if you don’t mind, I’m busy trying to decide what clothes to wash.”

  She gave me a brief glare and then left. I tried to shove aside her words about my shifting blame. Blame didn’t matter nearly as much as Tonya.

  Instead of calling, I fumbled through a text, asking Tonya if she’d like to get some coffee. A minute later, I got my one word answer. Yes. I grabbed my jacket and headed up stairs, purposely stomping down the hall and bumping Chloe’s door open. It was childish, but I felt a smidge of satisfaction that she’d have to get up and close it again.

  Driving toward Tonya’s place, my stomach churned the entire way. The words I wanted to say jumbled in my mind with everything I knew I probably should say. Fury kept me from forming the proper ones, and it made me sick to think that when I saw her everything could come out wrong, that I wouldn’t be able to keep some of it in.

  Tonya was sitting on the front steps, arms wrapped around her legs and chin resting on her knees. When she saw me pull up, she leapt up and jogged over. The curtains in the living room parted and Mrs. Robinson’s face appeared. I gave a small wave and she nodded. No friendly greeting though. She probably knew about how I’d covered for Tonya. Great. No more homemade cookies for me.

  The passenger door opened and Tonya climbed in, giving me the small smile her gran withheld.

  “Hey,” I said, ignoring the fact that I was being totally lame. My hands twisted on the steering wheel as she tugged on her seatbelt. It was hard not to stare at the bruising.

  “Hey. Thanks for coming to get me. I don’t think Gran would have let me leave by myself.” Her eyes rolled with annoyance.

  “I take it she knows?”

  “Yeah. She was still up when I got home, and flipped when she saw...” She let the sentence trail off, gesturing to the massive purple and red bruise along the left side of her jaw. Even with her darker complexion and multiple layers of make-up, it was impossible to miss. Lily’s quick healing after it happened had only relieved the immediate pain. “I’m actually surprised she didn’t ground me.”