PANDORA

by Rebecca Hamilton

  Sighing, I sit down on the bottom stair, grimacing again when my hip aches. “I know. It just surprised me. I didn’t realize everyone saw him differently than I do. It’s confusing.”

  “No kidding!” Evie laughs and nudges me with her elbow when she sits down.

  For a while, we just sit there. The thought crosses my mind that we better clean up the clothes now scattered on the floor before Mom sees them, but I don’t get up to do anything about the mess. I feel really drained all of a sudden.

  Evie elbows me again. “So, is Mason hot? I’ve always wondered what he looks like.”

  I can’t help but smile when I picture Mason’s face. Until Robin showed up, I had never thought about whether or not Mason was hot in the sense of whether or not I was personally attracted to him. I always knew he was gorgeous, though.

  “You already know Mason is tall,” I say, “but he has this athletic build that seems so effortless. He’s not all muscle-y, bursting out of his t-shirt or anything, but you know he’s strong just by looking at him. His strength is quiet, like it’s waiting for just the right moment to jump into action and do something amazing.

  “The color of his hair depends on whether he’s inside or outside,” I say. “When he’s inside, it’s almost red. When he’s outside, though, it turns the color of those really neat fireworks on the Fourth of July that look like golden waterfalls. His hair usually looks a bit like those fireworks too, especially lately because it’s a little too long.”

  I laugh thinking about the first time I tried to help him cut his hair. It was a good thing no one else could see him. Now he does it on his own, but it still makes him nervous.

  “The way Mason smiles . . . it’s something that would catch every girl’s attention if they could see him. He always seems like he’s about to laugh when he smiles, but not in a mean or hurtful way. It’s more like he’s excited about something. It’s infectious, and he could always cheer me up with his smiles when we were little.”

  My hand bumps against Evie’s and I smile. “His eyes are the best, though. They’re so unique, it’s hard not to stare.”

  “What do they look like?”

  “I’ve never seen blue eyes as dark as his. When he gets mad, they almost turn black, all but the silver ring around his pupil. It’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen, well, aside from when Mason is really happy.”

  “What happens when he’s happy?” Evie asks quietly.

  Grinning is inevitable when I think of Mason being that happy. “The silver almost seems to take over his eyes. You’ve heard people say someone’s eyes sparkle? Well, Mason’s really do. It’s amazing.”

  It’s something I realize I haven’t seen very often lately. The thought saddens me until Evie leans her head against my shoulder and asks, “Are you sure you aren’t in love with Mason, because it sure sounds like you are.”

  Chapter 10

  Every Bloody Memory

  (Mason)

  Leaning against Olivia’s locker, I watch her for a moment. It’s kind of weird how obsessive she is about trading books between every class. A lot of the other students only stop by their lockers once a day. Maybe she doesn’t like carrying very much weight in her backpack. Or . . . my mouth turns down . . . maybe she thinks Hayden will stop by.

  “Hey,” Olivia says. “Sorry, I couldn’t find my math notebook. What’s up?”

  Shaking off thoughts of Hayden, I say, “Don’t wait for me after school today. I think I’m going to hang with Robin for a while.”

  “Why?”

  The way she nearly snaps at me makes me pause. Is it just because she thinks Robin is a danger, or is it something else? Jealousy? I can only hope.

  “Why?” I repeat. “Because you tend to be a little intense and judgmental when Robin says anything about Aerlings and Caretakers. I think she’ll open up a bit more if it’s just the two of us.”

  Olivia’s nose wrinkles. I don’t care what Evie says, I love it when she does that.

  “Just the two of you?” She bites the corner of her lip nervously. “Mason, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

  “It’ll be fine. I want to know more about the Sentinels and Eliana. If that guy in the car really was a Sentinel, we need to be prepared. Robin knows more than she’s told us.” It’s hard to decide whether Robin is lying, scared, or something else, but I know she’s hiding something.

  Olivia sighs. “You’re going to go whether I say it’s okay or not, aren’t you?” My expression is answer enough. She sighs again, her lips frowning anxiously. “Please be careful. Don’t go too far away, okay?”

  “Just the park down the street from the house.”

  She frowns again, then does something unexpected. Her fingers curl around mine for just a moment before sliding away. “Fine, but . . . just watch yourself around her, okay?”

  It takes me a moment to respond. “I will.”

  As she turns and heads for her next class, I follow, wondering about Olivia taking my hand.

  ***

  When I slip up next to Robin, I startle her so badly she drops the books she’s carrying and stumbles over the mess. I can’t help laughing as she kneels down to pick them all back up. I’d help her if I could, but that would only make more people stare than are already watching and shaking their heads. Robin doesn’t seem to notice and stands up with a smile.

  “So, did you come by just to scare me half to death, or was there some other reason?” Robin asks as we walk toward her car.

  “What are you doing right now?” I ask.

  She shrugs. “Homework. Why?”

  “Just wanted to see if you’d wanna hang out for a while.” I’m sure that didn’t sound nearly as casual as I meant it to, but Robin doesn’t notice. She grins at me in response.

  “Sure!” Her eyes dart around the parking lot. “Just us, or should we wait for Olivia?”

  “Just us,” I say. “I thought we could head over to the park near my house. Olivia’s dad still doesn’t want us wandering around too much since that guy in the car showed up, but I thought it’d be nice to get out for a while.”

  Robin skips the last few steps to her car and unceremoniously dumps everything she’s carrying into the backseat. “I’d love to! Let’s go!”

  Pretending to look at something on her phone, Robin lets me slide in through the driver’s door, so no one asks questions about the passenger’s door opening on its own. Once I’m across, she climbs in and throws the car into reverse. A few seconds and one near collision with a group of teens trying to get past Robin later, we pull onto the street and make the short trip to the park.

  We repeat the same process getting out of the car just in case anyone is watching, and I start to walk away. Robin doesn’t follow, instead grabbing her backpack out of the backseat.

  When I give her a questioning look, she says, “I can pretend I’m doing homework if anyone walks by.”

  Knowing her, she really will be doing homework. I shake my head, smiling all the same, and head toward the back of the park where a stand of trees provides a little more privacy. I flop down and stretch out on the grass. Robin pulls out a couple of books and organizes her notebooks and pencils next to them.

  “You are a nerd,” I tease.

  Robin grins. “Yeah, and what of it?”

  “Nothing,” I laugh. “Just thought it needed to be said.”

  “Anything else you need to get off your chest?”

  I can see the teasing glint in her eyes, but I can also see that she is honestly curious about why I asked to hang out with her today. “I’ve never had a friend that wasn’t family before. I’m not sure family even counts as friends, since they’re family. If they don’t, I guess you’re the only friend I’ve ever had,” I admit. “Which is kinda weird.”

  “Weird?” Robin leans back against the tree. “How so?”

  Shrugging, I look up at the sky. “It feels strange not to have Olivia or Evie with me. Like I’m exposed without them here as a barrier to pro
tect me.”

  “You don’t think I’ll keep you safe?” Robin asks quietly.

  “It’s not that.” To be honest, I don’t know if Robin will keep me safe, or not. I don’t really need anyone to keep me safe. I’m invisible, after all. It’s more . . . “Protect isn’t the right word. It feels good to have them close by, familiar, comfortable. I don’t like being away from them.”

  Robin moves away from the tree and lies down on the grass next to me. Her nearness makes my body tense. As she props herself up on her elbow, she smiles. “They’re all you’ve ever had . . . up ‘til now.”

  Part of me wants to pull away from Robin. The anxiety her smile and closeness inspires is intimidating. I’m not sure what to do with it. She’s probably waiting for a response, but I’m not sure what she expects me to say.

  “I know I’m kind of a spaz,” Robin says, lowering her eyes, “and I blurt out things I shouldn’t, so I can understand if hanging out with me feels weird . . . ”

  “Robin, it’s not any of that. I mean, you are a spaz and you talk a lot,” I say, pausing and smiling so she knows I don’t hold any of that against her. “You don’t make me feel weird about being here. It’s just strange to think that you can see me.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t know you that well. Seeing me has always felt like such an intimate thing, something personal and private. No offense, but you’re still kind of a stranger, and even though I love that you can see me, it takes some getting used to.”

  I look over at her, hoping I haven’t hurt her feelings and wondering if what I just told her makes sense. She grins back at me and pokes me lightly.

  “There’s a simple solution to this.”

  Raising one eyebrow at her, I wait for an explanation.

  Laughing, she says, “You just have to get to know me better. Starting now. Ask me whatever you want.”

  Not nearly distracted enough by the unique situation to miss an opportunity for answers, I know jumping into the big questions right away will only scare her off. So I start small.

  “Where did you grow up?”

  “Pennsylvania.”

  “Did you like it there?”

  Robin nods. “It was so pretty and we had all this land to explore. I loved it there.”

  “Why did you move?”

  The cheeriness drops out of Robin’s expression immediately. “We had no choice,” she whispers.

  For a moment, I hesitate asking a new question. Robin turns to look up at the clouds, but I know what she’s really doing is trying to keep the tears brimming in her eyes from falling down her cheeks. I don’t doubt that Robin’s guilt has something to do with Eliana’s death. Suspecting her of being the deliberate cause . . . I seriously doubt it.

  Scooting closer to Robin, I set my hand on her forearm. “What happened?”

  “After . . . ” Robin sniffs, but turns to look at me. “After Eliana died we couldn’t stay where we were anymore. The Sentinels knew where we lived. We had to cut off all contact with other Caretakers for over a year.”

  “Why?” I ask. “Aside from hoping you’d lead them to other Caretakers, I mean. Did they think you might take in another Aerling?”

  The expression on Robin’s face is quizzical for a moment. Then, for some reason it turns into frustration. She doesn’t let me wonder why. “Mason, I know I don’t know your Caretakers, but I don’t understand why they’ve kept you in the dark about so much. They’ve kept you from making friends, from exploring your abilities, from knowing who you are. Why would they want to limit you so much?”

  “What do you mean exploring my abilities? Olivia’s parents have never held me back from learning and developing skills.”

  I watch as Robin’s eyes go from mild frustration to full on anger. “They never told you?”

  “Uh, told me what?”

  “About your talents!”

  “What talents?”

  Robin sits up on the grass with her feet crossed and yanks me up next to her. “Haven’t you ever been able to do something unusual, out of the ordinary?”

  “You mean aside from being invisible?” I drawl.

  Rolling her eyes, Robin slaps my knee. “I mean something more than that. It could be knowing what someone is about to say before they say it, guessing the weather, sensing someone’s emotions, strange dreams . . . ”

  “Dreams?” I practically demand.

  Robin stares at me. “Do you have dreams that don’t seem like dreams?”

  “I . . . maybe, I’m not sure.”

  “What are they like?”

  A shiver runs through my body. “Terrifying. I have nightmares all the time. They feel so real. I wake up screaming sometimes.”

  “What are the dreams about?” Robin asks.

  I freeze, suddenly wanting to kick myself for bringing it up. “I, uh, they’re just . . . nightmares. Bad things happening to me or my family.”

  “Have any of your dreams ever come true before?”

  “What?” I snap. “No, and I hope they never do.”

  Robin holds up her hands. “It was just a question, Mason. I didn’t mean anything bad by it. I’m just surprised you haven’t had any other talents manifest that you’re aware of.”

  “Why? Do all Aerlings have talents?”

  “Well, yeah, and they usually show up pretty early, like by three or four years old.”

  Feeling more than just uncomfortable, I try to shrug off the conversation. “Maybe I’m just not all that talented.”

  Or maybe watching my family die killed that part of me.

  Pouting, Robin folds her arms. “This doesn’t make sense. You have to have a talent.”

  “What was Eliana’s talent?” Anything to get the focus of the conversation off of me.

  “She could talk to me without speaking,” Robin says, a bit of her smile reappearing. “She couldn’t talk to anyone who wasn’t a Caretaker, but it was a fun talent.”

  Why couldn’t I have had that talent? Maybe I could have figured out how to talk to Olivia’s mom and dad and Evie without having to touch them every time I needed to say something. No, I get nightmares instead. That’s not even a talent. It just sucks.

  “Robin,” I ask slowly, “how did Eliana die? How did the Sentinels find her?”

  Her smile drops away immediately. “That’s not something I want to talk about, Mason.”

  And to really make her point, she starts tossing her books and papers back into her backpack. I panic, knowing I should have been more subtle, but just not having the patience for it. I grab Robin’s arm and pull her away from her bag. For a moment, fear flashes through her eyes. Guilt for being so rough with her loosens my grip, but not enough for her to get away.

  “Robin, please. I need to know if I’m putting Olivia and everyone else in danger.”

  “You aren’t,” she says as she tries to pull away from me.

  “How do you know?” I demand.

  Her struggle to get away from me falters. Whatever the source of the pain Robin is holding onto, she recognizes the same in me and stops fighting. Her frantic expression softens into one of understanding. I don’t realize I’m still gripping her arm until she brings her hand up to rest on my face.

  “Mason, I can’t promise you that the Sentinels will never find you. I wish I could,” she says, “but you’re doing everything you can to keep your family safe. You don’t make scenes that cause suspicion or draw attention. Olivia and Evie are just as careful, protecting you every second. I can see how much you love each other. You would never do anything to put them in danger, and neither would they. It’s the best anyone can do.”

  A tear slips past Robin’s control. I don’t know why, but I release my grip on her arm and brush away her tears. When Robin’s head drops, I push her chin back up. As if she thinks I can see something more than her pain-filled expression, her body convulses in a sob. Instinct pulls her into my lap and I hold her as she cries.

  “You and Olivia are so bles
sed to have each other,” Robin says through her tears. “I wish . . . I wish Eliana had been so lucky. Instead, she ended up with me.”

  “Robin, what happened?” I ask.

  Pushing away from me, Robin swipes at her tears. “I have to go, Mason.”

  She reaches for her backpack and stumbles to her feet. I am right behind her. I don’t want to scare her or hurt her, but I need to know everything. I need to be sure that Olivia will be safe. My hand reaches for her arm again. She’s too quick, and I end up hooking her waist instead. She gasps when I pull her back to me.

  “Please,” I beg.

  Robin’s palms press against my chest, as if she’s trying to get away again, but there is no force behind it. Finally, her head falls against my shoulder. She doesn’t look at me when she begins to speak.

  “Everyone was telling secrets. It was my first sleepover. I was seven and I wanted everyone to like me. I waited my turn, listening to the other girls tell about watching a movie they weren’t supposed to or getting into their sister’s makeup. It all sounded so silly when I was keeping a secret like Eliana. I knew I had the best secret, but the others got bored of the game before it was my turn. They all started to turn away and I was forgotten. It was the first time I had been invited to someone’s party. No one ever paid attention to me or even liked me. I just wanted them to think I was interesting . . . so I told them about Eliana.”

  “What did they say?” I ask.

  “Everyone laughed at me,” Robin whispers, “except for one girl I didn’t know very well. She just stared at me. She stared at me all night. I should have realized.”

  Robin sobs again and I hold her more tightly.

  “The Sentinels came for Eliana the next night while we were in bed. Nobody knew they were in our house until Eliana screamed, but by then it was already over.” Robin’s body starts shaking. “There was so much blood. She was right next to me in bed and I didn’t protect her. I told her secret and I slept while they murdered her.”

  I can’t speak, or move. I can’t respond at all. I want to tell Robin that I understand what she’s feeling, that I carry similar guilt and horrible memories. I want to tell her that my mom and sister were murdered right in front of me as I cried in the corner because I didn’t know what to do. I want to tell her everything and cry until every bloody memory is washed away. I want to share my pain with her and share hers, but I can’t. I don’t say anything. I keep the agony I hold close deep inside my heart and stroke her hair as I struggle to keep my own secrets.