PANDORA

by Rebecca Hamilton

“Alex, you are not crazy,” he tells me. “You went through a lot when you were a kid, you got messed up from it. Sometimes we all need help. You hid away from the world, but I saw you. Sweet, kind, loyal to a fault, stubborn, and absolutely beautiful just the way you are. That’s what I saw when I always looked at you, not the girl from the nut house.”

  “Really?” He looks so serious. The truth shines from his eyes.

  “Uh-huh,” he nods. “And you know what else? You’ve got the most gorgeous eyes I’ve ever seen, especially right now.”

  “Why now?”

  “Because they’re as black as the clouds above us and now they’re wide with anticipation.”

  “Anticipation?” I whisper, the wolf spurring me to lean in closer to him. “Of what?”

  “That I’m going to kiss you,” he whispers back, moving closer.

  “Are you going to kiss me?” I ask softly.

  “Yes.” His head lowers toward mine.

  The door flies open and Jason stands glaring at us. “About time you got home.”

  “Jason, what are you doing?” I demand, glaring holes into him.

  “Opening the door,” he replies.

  Tom snorts.

  “I’ll be there in just a minute,” I slam the door closed. Oh, he is so gonna get it when I get my hands on him. No, better yet, I’ll hide the HDMI cable to his PS3.

  Tom chuckles at the murderous expression on my face.

  “I’m sorry,” I tell him. “Jason . . . ”

  “Will deal with it,” he interrupts me.

  “Well, goodnight,” I tell him nervously and reach for the door handle, every instinct screaming to run from the expression in his eyes. I might be plotting my brother’s death, but I am glad he’d interrupted us. My mind keeps going back to the burger and onion rings I’d scarfed down. My breath smells like onions and now that I think about it, no way do I want him smelling rancid onion breath. No, it’s better to escape and rethink the whole kissing thing later.

  “Not so fast,” Tom’s hand reaches out and grabs my arm mid-flight.

  My eyes widen at the look in his eyes. They glow with intent. I pull on my arm. He pulls me closer.

  Before I can do anything, he leans down and kisses me. His kiss is soft and gentle and very, very nice. I, however, feel totally inept. I’ve only kissed one other person and am not sure of what I’m doing. I mostly just let him move his lips over mine. He doesn’t seem to mind my not helping and when he finally raises his head, I feel a little overwhelmed, shy, and self-conscious. This is all new to me and I’m pretty sure I’m not that good at it.

  “You look ready to bolt again,” he smiles ruefully. “I’ll take that as my cue to leave. Goodnight, Alex.” He brushes his lips across mine once more and then starts back down the driveway, whistling.

  I watch him until his car turns the corner and I can’t see it. I sigh, confused. I don’t want to feel anything for Tom Wallace, but I do. His kisses don’t cause the riptide of sensations and emotions Devon’s do, but I definitely feel something. The heat from a warm fire as it thaws out the cold, I think. That’s what Tom’s kisses remind me of. I feel cold inside and he’s slowly melting the freezing ice away.

  I love Devon, need him like air and water, but I can’t have him. Would it be so wrong to let myself feel something for someone else? Especially when Devon is doing just that?

  Turning I start to go inside when I catch movement out of the corner of my eye. I stop and look out into the darkness surrounding the porch. Is there something out there? I listen, noticing for the first time how quiet it is. I take a deep breath, letting the wolf take in the various smells that filter through my nose. Something smells . . . off. A strange smell. I move closer to the steps leading off the porch. Where is it coming from?

  A figure jumps at me and I scream, falling backwards. The door busts open and Jason comes running out, his eyes searching every shadow.

  “What, what is it?”

  I laugh. I can’t help it. Not more than five feet away from us sits Mrs. Miller’s tabby housecat. She must have let it out for the night. I’d gotten paranoid over a cat.

  Jason sees the cat and then hauls me up. He grins as I brushed the dirt off my pants.

  “What’s going on out here?” Dad asks, staring from one to the other of us.

  “Sorry, Dad,” I tell him. “The cat spooked me.”

  He shakes his head at both of us. “Well come on inside before you two freeze to death.”

  “Sure thing, Dad.” Jason makes a beeline for the door and then the living room. They must have been watching ESPN because Dad is just as quick to run back to the living room.

  The hair on the back of my neck prickles and I pause before going in. I glance over my shoulder one more time at the shadows surrounding the house. I get the creepy feeling someone is watching me, but the only thing looking at me is the cat.

  Get a grip, Alex, I tell myself. There’s nothing out here but a cat.

  Just a cat.

  Chapter 33

  I sit on the school steps and absently listen to Saidie ramble. We’d had a freak snow storm the night before and the snow finally stopped about mid-morning and most everyone outside is involved in some kind of snowball war. Saidie and I dodged more than we could count and managed to flee to the steps with minor damage. Jason, Tom and some of the other players on the football team are still engaged in the battle of the century. Watching them makes me smile. Jason still doesn’t like that I’m dating Tom, but he’s dealing with it. And Tom. I had been right to give him a chance. He made the pain of losing Devon easier to bear. I can laugh with him. He watches me for signs of running and bolting, though. There had been plenty, but he always gives chase. The more time I spend with him, the more I like him.

  If only he could distract me from what’s been going on with my friends. I sigh. Since our little powwow in the gazebo, things feel strained between everyone. Our little group has not spent more than five minutes together as a whole in days. Janna ate it up. Rumors spread and gossip mongers crowded in to watch. We all seem to be avoiding each other which only fed the rumors. We talk, but never together. Saidie and Devon avoided each other like the plague.

  Connor appears to be immune, though. He really doesn’t care. In fact, he seems excited about hanging out with monsters. God help us all.

  “Alex,” Saidie nudges me. “Did you finish this problem?”

  We are trying to finish our algebra homework but neither of us seems to be making too much headway. We enjoy being outside in the snow and laughing at all the antics going on among the makeshift snow forts.

  “No,” I frown, suddenly feeling anxious. I automatically look for Morgan and catch my breath. He’s arguing with another boy. The boy holds my attention. He’s tall with blonde hair like Morgan’s, but that’s where the similarities ended. He looks older, more dangerous somehow.

  “Who’s that with Morgan?” I ask Saidie.

  “Don’t know . . . what?” she frowns.

  The boy pushes past Morgan and starts toward Devon.

  We have trouble, Bessie Mae.

  I am up and running before the words are finished. I see everything he’s seen in a flash. The boy means to hurt Devon.

  “Alex?” Saidie calls, getting up and running after me.

  “You’re not supposed to be here,” I can hear the boy’s voice, low and full of anger.

  I come to a stop directly in front of Devon and Saidie settles herself beside of me.

  “Hi,” I say brightly. “Is there a problem?”

  His eyes, a deep blue, stare at me, startled. His tone is cold, though, when he speaks.

  “This is none of your business.”

  “Yeah, it kinda is my business,” I tell him, smiling. “Devon’s a friend of mine.”

  “Friend?” he laughs harshly. “You have no idea who he is.”

  “I know exactly what he is, what you are.” I can feel the energy pulsing off of him. Definitely a were. His scent smells like
Morgan’s and Jason’s. It’s an earthy smell, like the woods after a fresh rain. My wolf tells me he smells of pack. He’s a wolf.

  His eyes narrow. “You can’t know . . . ”

  “We know everything we need to know,” Saidie tells him, her own voice hard and unbending.

  His lips thin in anger. “This is ridiculous. You two need to move out of my way.”

  “Nope, sorry,” I say. “Can’t do that.”

  “Yeah, you will.”

  Devon snarls, his warning low but clear.

  “If you so much as touch a hair on his head, you will answer to me,” I tell him, anger creeping up on me. I can see the intent to hurt in his eyes. He isn’t going to touch Devon. Devon is Mine. My wolf snarls in my head. The boy’s eyes go wide, sensing the wolf in me maybe.

  “And me,” Saidie agrees.

  “And me,” Connor chimes in.

  I glanced behind me to see that Connor has joined us. Devon is surrounded once Morgan comes to stand beside of me.

  “Morgan.” There is a definite tone of warning in the boy’s voice.

  “You will have to go through all of us,” Morgan’s voice comes out like the crack of a whip, full of steel and determination. “He’s staying. Accept it.”

  The boy growls in frustration. A real doggy growl. He nods grudgingly.

  “Let’s go, Bess.” Morgan moves to herd us away. It isn’t until then we notice that everyone who’d been outside is staring at us. People had moved closer to see what was going on.

  “Wonderful,” I mutter.

  “Remember, even bad publicity is good publicity,” Saidie whispers.

  Leave it to Saidie to remind me of the little war I’d started with Janna. Like I need reminding. She and the hohags haven’t made a move yet and I’m nervous. Just what are the hags up to?

  “Care to tell us what that was all about?” I ask once we are all seated back at our usual spot on the school steps.

  “That was Paul Richards,” Morgan sighs. “He just moved here. When he caught Devon’s smell, he flipped. I tried to calm him down, but he wouldn’t listen.”

  “There are other shifters in school?” Connor’s eyes are growing brighter.

  “Of course,” Morgan grins at him, his eyes flashing amber for a second.

  Morgan.

  What?

  “Why haven’t any of them flipped out before now?” Connor asks.

  “Oh, they did at first. The pack decided to watch before taking any action. You remember for a while there Devon and I were practically ready to kill each other?” he laughs. “Anyway, once I figured out he wasn’t here to cause any harm I managed to convince the rest of the pack he isn’t a threat to us. My pack trusts me not to put them in danger, so they agreed to leave him be. Paul’s new here. He doesn’t know me and he has no reason to trust me. He’s only been running with us for a week or so.”

  “Shouldn’t he have noticed them before now?”

  “Today is his first day of school. He wouldn’t have seen Devon before.”

  “It’s bad enough that we have to worry about Alex, now we have to make sure you don’t get torn apart,” Saidie shoots Devon a disgruntled look.

  Devon stares at her for a long minute, and then nods in acceptance and gives her a half smile.

  I let out a breath I’m not aware I’ve been holding. The last couple days have been hard with the rift that formed between all of us. It appears that we are still loyal to each other, though. Loyalty is something that cannot be so easily broken once given and can forgive much. It ties us together more tightly than even friendship. The pressure crushing my chest eases. It’s going to be alright.

  We all hear the bell and Connor groans.

  “I forgot to finish my homework,” he sighs heavily.

  Saidie and I look at each other sheepishly. We haven’t finished ours either. No brownie points for either of us.

  “Come on, Connor,” Morgan grins devilishly. “We’d best get along. We wouldn’t want to be late now would we?”

  “Of course not,” Connor grins wickedly. “Devon?”

  He smiles that slow mischievous smile of his that has me melting. Again. Sigh. “I would not think of missing it.”

  Saidie and I exchange worried looks. Just what are those three up to?

  “Come on, Alex, let’s go. I for one am not going to the office.”

  I completely agree with her.

  “What are they up to?” Saidie whispers a little while later. Class started twenty minutes ago and there is still no sign of the boys.

  “Miss Reed, Miss Walker, where are those boys?” Mr. Rawlings demands, noticing the time too. “I saw them with you at lunch.”

  “We don’t know, Mr. Rawlings,” Saidie answers truthfully.

  There is a knock on the door just then and Mr. Crouse comes in, followed by all three boys.

  “Mr. Rawlings, I’m sorry the boys are late. They were helping Mrs. King move some things in her classroom and then came by the office. I gave them a note, but they seemed a little concerned about returning to class. I wondered why?”

  “I do have very strict rules about tardiness, Mr. Crouse.”

  “Did you tell them that you wouldn’t accept any excuse?”

  “Yes, I did. They have more than enough time to get to class before the bell rings.”

  “So, what you’re telling me is that you won’t accept an excuse from the office then?” Mr. Crouse asks sharply.

  Morgan winks at us.

  We roll our eyes at him.

  Dork.

  Don’t you know it!

  “No, I said no such thing . . . ” Mr. Rawlings flounders.

  “Please come see me after class, Mr. Rawlings.”

  “Take your seats,” Mr. Rawlings says angrily after the vice principal leaves. “You’ll have to get your notes later. I’m putting a pop quiz up on the board!”

  “Was it worth it?” Saidie whispers.

  All three nod with huge toothy grins.

  Boys.

  Chapter 34

  The first week of October brought the first official dance that everyone could attend. So of course I got roped into attending another dance with Tom. I am beginning to think that me and dances are so not gonna mesh. Bad things happen. Saidie, however, is all bubbly and giddy. She got a senior to ask her and she can’t wait.

  Rain forced us into the gym at lunch today. I’d rather be outside, but Saidie refuses to get wet. No one else seems to mind being inside either. Talk of the school dance fills the gymnasium. My hearing has definitely improved since the wolf woke up. I can hear a pen drop all the way on the other side of the gym now. Freak show strikes again.

  I can see Jason laughing with Tom whom had stopped by for a few minutes and then ambled off towards my brother. Tom doesn’t crowd me and I’m grateful. He respects our group’s little unspoken rule that we spend most of our lunch together separate from our latest crushes. Jason still is a wee bit upset with my dating his best friend. He needs to get over it.

  At least Jason is doing better, though. Spending time with the Morgan’s pack has really helped him. He shifted about a week after his first visit. Since then he’s become confident and even more arrogant than usual. Hence why he thinks he can dictate to me who I can and cannot go out with. Big brother learned quickly not to try that again. My wolf is bigger and badder than his even though I still haven’t shifted. Kinda glad about that since Jase says it hurts—a lot. Then again, at least Jason isn’t helpless if we get attacked.

  “You do have your dress, right?” Saidie waves a hand in front of my face.

  I blink. Dress? “OHMYGOD!”

  “YOU DID FORGET!” Saidie looks horrified.

  Of course I forgot it. I didn’t want to go to the stupid dance to begin with. My last one had been a disaster. So why would I want to repeat the experience? My eyes find Tom and I soften. He is so excited about actually taking me as his date and not as a revenge date. He really is good for me. He makes me laugh and that
is not an easy thing to do these days. Morgan helps with the loneliness, but it’s been pressing in on me, making me remember my days at Compton more and more.

  The nightmares are getting worse too, I wake up screaming every single night, scaring my dad half to death. I could never remember more than bits and pieces of them before, but now they are as clear and vibrant as if I’m actually there. Knowing the things I see in them are real makes them that much more terrifying. Uncle Sabien’s trying to find a way to block them without making me forget everything this time like Mom did before.

  I’ve heard Dad and Emma talking. They want to call my psychiatrist at Compton for advice. They’re concerned I’m a little too overwhelmed. My life has gone through a lot of changes the last month with Mom dying, me getting a real boyfriend, and just the normal day to day stuff that I wasn’t exposed to at Compton. They don’t want a repeat of last time and the nightmares were a big part of my childhood. They drove me to insomnia which in turn caused me to really go a little nuts. The thought of going back there is enough to make me forget anything. Another reason I forgot my dress.

  I won’t disappoint Tom. He deserves better than that, especially with all the crap he put up with from me in the very beginning. He’s a good guy and he’s never once judged me. Making him happy honestly makes me happy. I have the feeling that he’s becoming more important to me than I wanted him to. I care about him. A lot.

  He and Jason were always together growing up, so I’ve always been around him. He was like a second brother to me in the beginning, but then as we got older, he started looking at me differently and that always made me nervous. I avoided him and then I got committed to Compton for five years. When I came back, I understood the way he looked at me and I liked it, but the wolf in me ran to make him chase me. I understand that now too. The urge to run from him was our way of testing his worthiness in seeing if he would follow and conquer and he did. The wolf and I both smile in response to that thought.

  OHHHHHHNOOOOOO!!!!!!

  I close my eyes when the realization strikes me. Am I actually falling for Tom Wallace? This is different than what I feel for Devon, but it’s strong too. Do I love Tom? My heart warms at the thought. I don’t think love is the right word, at least not yet, but I definitely care a lot. It’s why I won’t disappoint him and why I beg Saidie to help me find a dress with absolutely no time to do so.