Flutter mba-3

by Аманда Хокинг

  “You’re not going to talk me out of this, Jack,” I told him.

  I brushed past him so I could run upstairs to my room, to our room really, but both he and Milo followed right on my trail. With my quick, clumsy steps, it was amazing that I didn’t fall down the stairs, and if I had, that would’ve done very little for my case for going with Ezra.

  Jack had been sleeping in Ezra’s den downstairs since I had turned, but all his things were still in here.

  The closet was full of both our clothes, and my wardrobe had greatly expanded since I had turned. Ezra and Mae had set me up with an expense account and credit cards a few weeks ago, and my new, trimmer vampire body required all new clothes.

  I went into the massive walk-in closet, rummaging around for bags. Inexplicably, Jack had hot pink luggage, but I didn’t have time to question it. I pulled the bags out from the underneath the pile of blankets it was hidden under and flipped it open, preparing to fill it with my things. Jack stood in the doorway, and Milo stood behind him, both of them glaring down at me.

  “You’re actually packing?” Milo asked, sounding surprised. “You can’t really be considering going with Ezra.”

  “He’s right. This is stupid,” Jack agreed. “It’s ridiculous and dangerous, and you don’t even know where you’re going. How can you even pack for that?”

  “He said to pack for the cold,” I reminded them both.

  I loaded my bag with sweaters and jeans and socks. Vampires didn’t really feel cold, and in fact, we preferred it to heat. But if we were to walk around in a blizzard wearing a tee shirt and shorts, the humans around us would start to question it, so we dressed warmly to fit in.

  “Jack, just forbid her from going or something!” Milo said glibly.

  “I can’t forbid her from doing anything,” Jack replied tiredly, but he definitely wished he could at times like this. “And if I tried, it would just make her want to do it more.”

  I threw a pair of boots in the bag, and then struggled to zip the bag up. Obviously, I was much stronger than the stupid metal zipper, but I hadn’t figured out to use my strength at all. I had been constantly breaking things, and I had yet to figure out the medium between using too much and too little force.

  “Here.” Jack came over and knelt on the floor next to me so he could zip up my bag for me.

  “Thank you,” I said softly, and looked down at the bag so I wouldn’t look at him.

  “Alice, why do you even wanna go?” Jack asked plaintively.

  “He didn’t do anything wrong,” I told him quietly, and he rolled his eyes.

  “He tried to kill you, Alice!” Jack shouted, and the pain from seeing me almost die sprang fresh in him. That had been one of the most agonizing moments of this life, and it was hard to feel what he felt, the terror and desperation that had he gone through when I had been dying.

  “He didn’t mean to,” I insisted, and that was only half a lie.

  Peter had never really wanted to hurt me, but he didn’t know what to do about anything.

  When I had asked him to end my life, he had refused, so I had bit my lip hard enough to draw blood, and I knew that he wouldn’t be able to reject biting me then. I had forced him into biting me, and Jack had rushed in just in time to stop him from finishing the job.

  “But he did, Alice!” Jack growled. “He hurt you constantly! All he ever did was push you away and treat you like crap and almost murder you! What about that is so endearing to you?”

  “He didn’t ask for any of this, Jack!” I shouted. “He didn’t ask to feel the way he did about me, and he just wanted it to stop! So did I! So did you! But he’s the only one being punished for it! And you of all people should understand what he’s going through! You got me! You won! And now he’s alone and suicidal somewhere because of me! I can’t just let him die!”

  My intensity only hurt and bewildered Jack more. He leaned back, resting against a row of shelves that were filled with his Converse. His expression had gone lax, and I knew he had resigned himself to me going, but that didn’t mean he felt okay about it. In fact, his own resignation bothered him.

  “Jack, listen to me.” I took his hand gently, and his sad, blue eyes met mine. “Ezra’s not going to let anything bad happen to me. You know that. And I love you, okay?”

  “I don’t want you to go, Alice,” Jack said simply. “Please. If you love me. Don’t go.”

  Seeing him like that, so desperate for me to stay, broke my heart. I never wanted to hurt him, and whenever possible, I’d do whatever it took to make him happy. If Ezra had shot me down, I wouldn’t have fought to go, but if he agreed, then he obviously thought that I could be of some help. It was heart-wrenching to see Jack so unhappy, but if causing him a few moments of misery would save Peter’s life, then so be it.

  “I’m sorry, Jack.”

  From downstairs, I heard Ezra calling my name, telling me that we had to get going. I pursed my lips, watching Jack and waiting for him to respond somehow. Part of me expected him to yell and demand that I stay, but that was never his style. He lowered his eyes and gently rubbed his thumb along the back of my hand, making my skin tremble. Finally, he exhaled deeply.

  “I’ll drive you,” Jack whispered and started getting to his feet.

  “What?” Milo protested incredulously. “You’re just letting her go?”

  Jack was still holding my hand, so he helped me to my feet. Milo had his arms crossed over his chest and stood just outside of the closet door, glaring at the both of us for being so stupid. Jack leaned over and picked up my bag so he could carry it downstairs, even though I was strong enough to do it myself.

  “What am I supposed to do?” Jack gave Milo a helpless look and shrugged as we walked past him.

  “I told you! Forbid her from going!” Milo had started getting nervous and fidgety, traits that were becoming increasingly uncommon with his new-found vampire confidence.

  “Yeah, you try forbidding her,” Jack rolled his eyes, but there was an underlying weariness to it.

  He held my hand as we walked downstairs where Mae and Ezra were waiting with his luggage. On the table, there a small duffel bag full of special containers that Mae was carefully packing with blood from bags.

  We survived mostly on blood donations, thanks to a set of clinics they ran similar to the Red Cross. People donated blood thinking it was for blood transfusions in humans, but really, they were sustaining almost the entire species of vampires.

  When traveling with blood, as was often a necessity, they had to use special equipment.

  Airport security would find it highly suspect if they knew that Ezra was boarding the plane with bags of blood. They used metal cans that looked like whip cream, lined to make it impossible for dogs to sniff out, should that arise. Mae filled the duffle bag with ice packs to keep them cold, and while Ezra usually got weird looks, he always got through it by saying he was some kind of whip cream salesmen, and so far, it had seemed to work.

  As a result, he also had a surprisingly vast knowledge of whip cream.

  Ezra stood next to her, sifting through the papers to make sure they were all in order. As soon as I had turned, he set about getting all the documentation set up so I could live my life with them without any suspicion. That had been a source of contention since I had insisted on keeping my last name Bonham instead of changing it to Townsend, like the rest of them. Nobody had actually cared except for Jack, but he didn’t understand why I wouldn’t want his last name. I didn’t really have any explanation for it, especially since that was Milo’s last name too, but I just wasn’t really ready for everything about me to change.

  Someday, I’m sure it would change, but for now, I wanted to hang onto every part of myself that I could, even if it was just my name.

  On the plus side, Ezra had my age changed to eighteen, since it would be far easier for me to do things if I wasn’t a minor. They had done the same thing with Milo when he turned, even though he was really only fifteen, but he looked c
loser to nineteen anymore so it made the most sense.

  All of Ezra’s information said that he was twenty-nine, even though he had actually been twenty-six when he turned, but it was that way with all of them. Jack was really twenty-four, but his license said he was twenty-seven, and Mae’s said that she was thirty-one, even though she as three years younger than that when she turned. They had been living this life, this name in this house, for four years already, and they had to change along with it. They wouldn’t be able to pull off their ages for much longer, though, which meant that they were going to have move very soon. As it was, Jack didn’t really pass for twenty-seven, and he would never make it as thirty.

  “When was the last time you ate?” Ezra asked me, but he didn’t look up from passport. It was brand new, and he was inspecting it for any mistakes.

  “Um, yesterday,” I replied.

  There was a constant thirst with me, but it wasn’t the same as being thirsty when I was human. My mouth wasn’t parched, and my stomach didn’t feel empty like I was hungry, either. I just felt this need inside me, coming from everywhere and nowhere all at once. The closest feeling I could I can recall is when I ran too fast in gym, and my muscles would start ache from the oxygen depilation. It would be this slow, swelling cramp that seemed to permeate through me, and I was just desperate to stop running.

  Except the relief for this wasn’t the lack of motion; it was blood, and that thought was accompanied by a frantic lust.

  Fortunately, I had managed to have a reasonable level of control over my bloodlust. Both Milo and I had a stronger grasp of that than most vampires, something that seemed to bewilder Ezra and Mae. Our relationship to vampires and as vampires constantly surprised them, and Ezra in particular thought there was something deeper going on than merely my bond with Peter and Jack.

  “Hmm.” Ezra eyed me over, debating. “I don’t want you to get tired just yet. We’ll have to wait until you’re on the flight. Do you think you can handle being around people that much on an empty stomach?”

  “I think so,” I nodded, but I wasn’t as certain as I tried to sound.

  Since I was still so newly turned, blood still had a very strong effect on me. After eating, I’d feel very similar to someone very happily drunk or incredibly high. It felt amazing, but I’d also be very drowsy and out of it, and usually, I’d just pass out and sleep it off for awhile. Eventually, drinking blood should give me more energy instead of knocking me out, but that was awhile off yet.

  On top of that, I had very little experience being around people. I found myself attracted to Jack’s blood, and that’s fairly common among vampires, especially when they’re in love, but his pulse was significantly weaker than humans. They’re blood smelled stronger and pounded harder and would be far more enticing. I had shown a lot of self-control so far, but in all honesty, I’d had very little temptation.

  “Good.” Ezra nodded once, then looked at Mae. “Is everything packed then?”

  “Yes.” She bit her lip when she met his gaze, and she didn’t want him to go anymore than Jack wanted me to go. Whatever we were doing was life threatening to Peter, which meant that it was dangerous to us too.

  “Well, then.” He smiled wanly at me. “Are you ready to go?”

  “Yeah,” I nodded again.

  He put all the papers in the front pocket of his suitcase, then grabbed it and the duffel bag full of the whip cream containers of blood. Up until that point, I think Milo had half-expected Ezra to tell me that I had to stay behind, but when he saw that we were really serious, he balked loudly.

  “You can’t really be going!” Milo flared with agitation, and Mae put her hand on his back, rubbing it gently to try and ease him down before he went berserk. “This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! You’re going to get her killed!”

  “Milo, that’s enough,” Mae murmured softly.

  “But… but…” Milo stammered and turned to her for help. “You know this is stupid!”

  “Milo.” Ezra cut him off decisively, and Milo’s face crumpled. “Just hug your sister before we go.”

  He was crying when he hugged me, which didn’t make things easier. His hug was too tight and too insistent, but I didn’t tell him so. He didn’t want me to go, and he didn’t want to be left behind, but there was very little in the way of options. The one time that he had actually met Peter, it hadn’t gone over well, so he wouldn’t be able to do anything to help the cause of rescuing Peter.

  Mae kissed Ezra passionately with tears in her eyes, and once again asked him if there was anything that could get him to stay. He didn’t say anything, but that was the answer she had expected.

  Sniffling, she hugged me tightly and made me promise to be safe, to always run at the first sign of trouble, and to call her constantly, whether anything was wrong or not.

  When we left, she had her arm wrapped around Milo, and they were standing in the entryway, looking terribly forlorn. Inside, I felt like crying too, but I knew that would only make things worse.

  Jack hadn’t said anything as we left, and he continued his silence on the car ride to the airport. He took Ezra’s Lexus, and Ezra seemed just content with the silence. He was lost in his own thoughts, trying to figure something out.

  The Minneapolis airport was a bustle of human activity. The cold October air felt good on my skin as we walked from the parking lot to the airport, but everything was already filled with the warm, tantalizing scent of blood. My heart sped up a little, and Jack took my hand, squeezing it tightly to reassure me. Once inside, the feeling only got worse, and I tried to think of sad things, like dead bunnies, to keep my appetite under wraps.

  Ezra went to the desk to pick up our tickets while Jack stood with me, waiting in the crowd.

  We were going to have to separate soon, since baggage claims and everything was beyond where Jack would be allowed to go. He was unusually still, but he was doing that for my benefit. I could feel everything he felt, so he was trying to be calm and soothing so I wouldn’t get agitated or hungry. He wanted me to be safe and have a safe flight.

  “I’m going to have to go soon,” I said, looking up at him sadly.

  “I know.” He squeezed my hand again and used all his might to keep his own anxiety and trepidation from effecting me.

  I was acutely aware of all the crowds around us pausing to stare. Before, when I had been out with Jack in public, it had driven me insane the way everyone was always fawning all over him.

  Now, I suddenly had the same power, and I wasn’t exactly used to it or comfortable with it. It was incredibly odd having a private moment in front of an audience.

  Jack touched my face gently, his hand warming my cheek, and I leaned into it. Above everything around me, I smelled him so perfectly, and I knew there was nothing in the world I wanted more than him.

  Leaving, even for a short time, would be more painful than I had originally thought, but I knew it was the only thing I could do. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do everything I could to help Peter, and Jack knew that, and he knew that I would hate him if he stopped me and something happened. So despite all his reservations, he was going to let me go without protest.

  Gently, he pressed his lips against mine, and I could feel his luscious heart beat through my skin. He was careful to keep it soft and very PG, because it would be horrendous if I were to get out of control in a crowded airport. Still, there was nothing sweeter in the world than his kisses, and I couldn’t help but want more.

  “The planes going to board soon,” Ezra interrupted us, not unkindly. “We need to get through baggage claims and security.”

  Reluctantly, I pulled myself from Jack. His eyes were completely locked on mine, and my heart started screaming. Apparently, it had just finally dawned on me what I was about to do. Separating myself from Jack to sleep was uncomfortable. Being miles and miles away for I don’t even know how long… that sounded unbearable.

  “I’ll take good care of her,” Ezra promised when Jack se
emed unwilling to let me go.

  Ezra took my hand in his, partially to help coax me away from Jack and partially so he could keep tabs on me. This was not the most ideal place for a new vampire’s first big outing, and everyone knew that. Jack eventually let go of my hand, and as Ezra carefully guided me through the crowds past the first set of metal detectors, my eyes never left Jack’s. He just stood in the middle of the airport, staring after me, like some tragic music video, and I wondered what exactly I had gotten myself into.

  Chapter 2

  The transformation itself had been so incredibly brutal that the English language isn’t fit to describe it. My body died and ate itself. My organs shifted around, feeling as if my intestines had been replaced with living, moving snakes that squirmed inside of me. I spent hours upon hours vomiting. I was in a constant state of fevered delirium. My body ached on a cellular level. Even touching my hair would cause excruciating pain.

  It wasn’t until I finally drank blood for the first time, cold from a bag, and I felt it sliding down my throat that everything began to take a turn for the better. The pain subsided and was replaced by pleasure. All my senses were heightened, and I couldn’t believe how glorious everything really was. There were more colors and tastes and textures in the spectrum than I ever imagined.

  Not to mention the way I felt about Jack. I could feel him when he entered the room, and not like before. My heart always seemed to know exactly how far away he was from me, and it didn’t feel right unless he was with me. The way plants strained for the sun, I strained for him. Whether he was in the room or not, my body would automatically tilt itself towards him, like I was compass and he was due north. It was almost magnetic, my love for him. That kind of indiscernible pull that said I had to be with him.

  On top of all that, I had changed. My skin was smoother, my hair silkier, my eyes brighter, and I had lost weight on every part of my body except my breasts. While I hadn’t exactly been fat before, there was a new elegance to how I looked that hadn’t been there before. The change wasn’t as drastic as it had been with Milo, more like I had simply gone through some kind of make over, but I definitely looked better. And I had shot up from 5’3” to a whopping 5’5” feet tall.