My bottom lips twitches as I feel tears forming in my eyes, but I quickly reel it in and say, “No my parents died when I was younger.”
“Oh Honey I’m so sorry.”
“It’s ok, Daisy and her family took me in and I was ok after that. I mean I cried and still do for my parents. But Daisy and her family made things ok for me,” I say thinking about my friend,my sister, and how I will never see her again. The tears start to fall.
Mrs. Sarah held me in her arms and let me cry, ramble on about life, and cry some more.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do. I called her family when we road over here and they were devastated. She was their only daughter. I can’t help but think its was my fault. I shouldn’t have been so afraid. I know I distracted her from her duties on the boat,” I say crying even more.
“Honey its ok.”
“No its not. I also called my job and they say that they thought I quit; so they hired someone else. I called my landlord and they said that they threw all of my things out, evicted me, and someone else lives in my old apartment now. What will I do? I don’t even have a cell phone anymore. It got washed away with the rest of my life on that stupid stupid boat,” I scream, not at her just at the world, the whole world.
She knew it, because she wasn’t offended. She just held me and let me get it all out. When I was finally done and spent, she spoke to me.
“Honey its ok, I had my husband get all of your paperwork and I.D. and stuff for you,” she says handing my a yellow envelope.
I stare at it and then at her.
“How,” I ask?
“Well I know some people,” she said shrugging.
I look at her with big eyes and open the envelope. Inside was my driver’s license, my passport, a social security card, birth certificate, and my check card. Wow, just wow, is all that I could say. This woman was amazing.
“Thank you so much. I think I’ll be ok. I have a bit of money saved up in my checking account. So I should be great until I find another job and a decent place to stay,” I say shuffling the papers around in the envelope.
“What. You will do no such a thing. You are going to stay with me and my husband. We have plenty of room,” Mrs. Sarah says to me. Kind of like she would to a child that did something wrong.
“Oh I couldn’t do that. I have to take care of myself.”
“But I want to be there for you. I know how hard it is to be pregnant. Plus, I know Carrick will want to love you and the new Callahan,” she said beaming with joy and glancing down at my stomach.
I can’t stay with her. It wouldn’t be right. Would it? She does seemed genuine. I guess I could until I find a job and my own place again. I just hope that I can find a job with insurance.
“But I need to find a job.”
She blew out a long deep breath, and sat quietly for a few moments.
“Well, the firm has been advertising for a new assistant lately. Maybe you can go down there and apply,” she says.
“That is wonderful,” I say but then a thought crossed my mind.
“But I want to get the job on my own. I need to know that I can get the job on my own.”
“Of course, I’ll make sure nothing is said about you and Carrick. You have my word,” she says.
“Ok,” I respond, then we were interrupted by her driver.
“Mrs. Callahan we’re here,” her driver says as we pull up in front of Carrick’s building.
We both climb out of the car and make our way into the massive building. We stand together quietly as the elevator came and we got on.
“I’m still so nervous,” I say as the elevator pinged open. I looked at the hall wall, and slowly walked off the elevator.
“There is nothing to be worried about Honey. Carrick will embrace you with open arms. I know he will,” she says comforting me.
As we walked to the door I ask, “Do you think we should call him to let him know we are here, so he can open the door?”
“Oh no Honey, I have a key,” she says shaking a single key on a shamrock keychain in my face.
I smile and shake my head as she un locks the door, and we go inside his apartment. Wow. It was magnificent.
“Carrick Honey its Mom and Marissa. She has something to talk to you about,” she says as we walk through the apartment.
No one answered. So she called out again.
“Carrick.”
No answer.
“You know what I bet he was tired and fell asleep. I bet he is laying down in his room,” she said, then started off towards the left; down a long hallway.
As we got closer to a door at the end of the hallway, we started to hear noises coming from the room. I can’t quite tell what they were doing, and I can’t tell if she can either. But I didn’t ask, and we kept walking to the door.
“Oh Carrick,” we hear from inside the room.
My heart dropped. That sounded like Evelyn. Please Lord. Please don’t let this woman be in here with him. Please let the voices be the TV.
Mrs. Sarah whispers to me, “Maybe you should go wait in the parlor.”
“No,” I say defiantly and reach around her and quietly turn the doorknob.
“Oh Carrick baby, Yes that feels so good,” I hear Evelyn say.
He was lying on his back, naked from what I can see and she was sitting on top of him and she was grinding into his lap. She was completely naked. Oh Carrick why.
I turn and ran out of the room.
“Carrick what the hell is going on,” I hear his Mom yelling.
I didn’t hear anything else as I heaved into the sink. The room was closing in on me. I have to get out of here. I splash water on my face, ran out of the bathroom and grab the yellow envelope that I sat on the parlor side table when I came in, then I opened the front door to leave.
“Wait Marissa, please don’t go. Let me explain,” Carrick says.
This makes me whip around and then venom spewed from my mouth. A venom that came from somewhere deep with in.
“Explain what,” I scream, “You lying pig. I saw that woman naked on your lap riding you. How could you?”
“Baby it’s not what it looked like.”
“Stop. Every lying dirty cheater says the same exact thing,” I also yell.
His head dropped down and hung between his shoulders.
“I thought you loved me. I thought you wanted to be with me. What am I going to do now,” I say clutching my stomach.
He looks back up at me and starts to walk closer to me. But I put my hand up to stop him from coming closer. He stops in place and stares at me.
“I want to tell you that I hate your guts, but I don’t. I could never hate someone that gave...,” I say then my voice trails off.
“Gave what,” he asked while searching my face for a clue of what I was referring to.
“Someone who gave me a reason to live,” I say throwing the ultrasound pictures at his feet and storming out of his apartment; leaving him standing there stunned.
Chapter 11 (Carrick)
What the hell just happened? One minute I’m falling asleep in my nice comfy bed, the next minute I’m being woken up by my mom screaming; and a naked Evelyn gyrating on my lap. My mom cursing me and Evelyn out like a monster. Oh she was mad. She was yelling something about Marissa and how much of a stupid bastard I was. How this was going to kill her. Then she stormed out of my room and to the bathroom across the hall, and was crying hysterically.
Marissa.
I jump up, pushing Evelyn off of me. She landed on her back on my bed. She had a deceitfully happy smile on her face as I ran out of the room. I find Marissa about to leave the apartment. I have to stop her. I can’t loose her.
“Wait Marissa. Please don’t go; let me explain,” I yell.
She turns around to face me and has a fire in her eyes that rocked me back on my heels. She let off a string of profanities as I tried to explain, but she wasn’t hearing it. I can’t say I blame her either. Because if I would have saw w
hat she saw I would have flipped, and rocked the guy block; and probably cussed her out too.
Her last statement made my ears perk up. “Gave what,” I ask, hoping she elaborates.
“Someone who gave me a reason to live,” she replies and throws something at my feet, then storming out of the apartment door.
What in the hell, I think as I bend down and pick up the small squares of paper that she threw at my feet. When I looked at them I see the name Marissa Johnson at the top. As my eyes traveled down the rest of the paper I see a dark picture with light blue shapes. I have no idea what the hell this is; and why Marissa’s name is on it.
“Where is Marissa,” I hear my mom say in a panicked voice behind me.
“She stormed out the apartment, after throwing these at me,” I say handing the squares to her.
“But I have no idea what they are,” I also say, as my mom looks them over.
“You stupid, stupid idiot. These are sonogram pictures,” she screams.
I still don’t understand, and don’t say anything. So she continues yelling at me.
“She got these at the doctor today. We came here to tell you the good news, and here you are laying up with that trollop,” she spat.
I took the papers from her hands and took a better look at them. They said babies on them. It looked like little blobs on the picture. They were numbered baby 1, baby 2, and baby 3. Three babies. What the hell. Three babies. What am I going to do? Not only have I just found out that I’m going to be a father, but my love just ran out on me. It was my fault, but still what am I going to do. I don’t even know where to find her, and as of right now I don’t think she will be seeking me out anytime soon.
“Mom, what am I going to do? How will I find her,” I ask sinking to my knees.
She looked at me and said, “Well son I don’t know. I was going to take her to get a phone, seeing that all of her things were destroyed when she was in that boating accident. Her home was cleared out and given to someone else. As well as her job. The only thing she has are the clothes on her back.”
Oh man.
“Son you’ve made a mess of this. That girl really was looking forward to telling you about the babies. How could you do this?”
“Mom I didn’t. One minute I was drinking champagne, the next I was being helped upstairs by Evelyn. The next thing I know you were yelling. Mom I swear of my life I didn’t do anything with Evelyn,” I say with my head in my hands, crying.
“Well, I guess I’m going to get out of here. Carrick it was fun, but you have too much drama going on around you,” Evelyn said tip toeing out of my bedroom with a smile of her face.
My mom stiffens and turns to her, “You are a shameless wench. If I were you I would get the hell out of this apartment and ever look back.”
Evelyn fakes surprise and asks with her hand up to her chest, “Why Mrs. Callahan what ever do you mean.” She then laughs and pulls her shoes on.
“Carrick, maybe you should look me up so we can have a little fun, when you get this all settled out,” she says grinning at me.
“Evelyn, I made it clear to you that I would never be with you again. Why would you do this,” I ask, now shaking from head to toe.
I’m so angry with her. How could she be so evil and conniving.
Well really I should be mad at myself for even giving her a ride, and letting myself get talked into drinking with her. How could I do so stupid?
“Whatever,” she responds and walks out my front door like nothing ever happened. I sink down into the near sofa and close my eyes.
“Carrick, you have to get started trying to find her,” my mom says.
“Mom, I know; I’m just trying to think straight. I don’t know where to start,” I say.
She sits down beside me and squeezes my shoulder.
“I think its about time we call your father.”
“Dad,” is all I say.
“Yes, Dad,” she says then grabs her phone and starts dialing the number.
Oh man, my Dad is going to be pissed off.
“Hello Honey.”
“Yes, we’re back.”
“We are at Carrick’s house. Look I need to talk to you about something that is very important.”
“I’d rather see you in person and talk to you about it.”
“I can stay here if you want to meet us here.”
“Ok we will see you in a few.”
She hangs up and says, “Your father is on his way here. He was at the office so he will be here directly. So you had better get up and puts some clothes on before he gets here.”
I look down at myself and see that I am only wearing boxers, and I have no idea how I got like this.
“Ok,” I say and get up from the sofa and walk into my room.
I see the mess of the day strewn around the room. There was sheets and my clothes everywhere. I picked up the sheets and my clothes and ball them up and march into the kitchen and stuff the into the garbage can. The turn back and go into my bathroom. I have to get into the shower; I can smell Evelyn on me.
After I turn on the shower and step into the steaming hot water, I start to feel a little better. I don’t know how but I have to find a way to make this better. I need to. I need my Rissa. I can’t leave her out there to take care of my babies alone. Oh I hope she can find it in her heart to forgive me. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to her. After quickly running through all of my options in my head, I wash up and get out of the shower. Without looking or thinking I grab the first thing my hands touch. Which turned out to be boxers, socks, jeans, and a light green t-shirt; and after sliding into my Addias I walk into the parlor. My mom was sitting on the sofa next to my father.
“Dad,” I say walking over to him.
He stand up and we both embrace quickly then he sits back down on the sofa next to mom. I take the chair across from the sofa.
“So son, your mother has filled me in on what is going on here. I have to say I am greatly disappointed. How could you let all this happen? I thought we raised you better than that. Maybe I failed you as a father,” he says.
I could only have expected for him to be upset with me. But that last comment he made hit me hard. So much so, I was up off of the chair and over to him.
“Oh dad you didn’t fail me. I failed myself. I let my trying to forgive someone take over my ability to see that she was truly and evil person. I was such a fool dad. I love Marissa and I need her back here with me. But I think that I have ruined things. What should I do,” I cry. He was up off the couch and had his enormous arms around me.
“Son, its going to be ok. We will figure this all out,” My father says.
“How, dad. I mean she ran off and I have no idea where to find her. She doesn’t even have a cellphone,” I try and explain.
My father set back on his heels and brought his hand up to his chin; rubbing it as he thought.
He let out a huff and said, “Well I have a private detective friend that I can have look into it if you’d like that.”
“Of course Dad, that would be a big help.
“Ok. I’m going to get right on it,” my Dad says then kissing my mom.
She walks with him to the door; they talk for a few seconds then he leaves my apartment.
Mom turns to me and says, “Son I hope she had some money on that bank card of hers, because you’d feel like a bastard if she didn’t have enough money for somewhere decent to stay. Anything could happen to a beautiful young lady out on these streets when she is alone, at night,” my mom says trying not to let me hear the shakiness in her voice.
But I caught it when she was mentioning something could happen to her if she didn’t have somewhere to stay.
Shit.
She’s right. I’d die if anything happened to her or the babies. My babies. I have to find Marissa right away.
Chapter 12 (Marissa)
I never knew it would be so hard being pregnant and working. Its been almost five months since I have been w
orking at this job as a waitress, and it is wearing on me. Not only do I get a daily headache, but my feet are so swollen that my shoes feel like they will bust open at any minute. My back is on fire only after a half an hour of working. Plus my stomach feels like it has a couple of little monsters in it trying to claw their way out.
Instinctively my hand goes to my stomach. Oh Carrick, how I wish things could have been different. Oh how I wish we could be together raising our babies together. Giving them the love that they deserve.
“Marissa, Hun, do you need to take a breather,” the cook, my boss, the owner of this fine Irish eatery asks me.
I really should sit down for a bit. But I can’t. I really need all the tips I can get before I have to stop working. Which by my doctors’ advice will be in a week or two, depending on how I feel.
“No, Dave. I think I’m just going to try and push through until the end of my shift,” I say as I slowly walk over to my next table.
“Good afternoon. What could I get you gentlemen to eat today,” I say while looking down and riffling through my apron for a pen?
“Marissa, I’d like for you to Marry Me.”
My head immediately goes to the voice that asked that, and my eyes stop on Carrick. He is still as handsome as I remember, but he looks plenty tired. His skin is pale, and his eyes have dark circles around them. He looks like he hasn’t slept or been outside for days.
I throw the pad down on the table and scurry out of the door and into the December air. I quickly get into my dumpy old car and am about to pull off when Carrick burst out of the restaurant door.
“Marissa, wait please. I have been looking for you for months, please forgive me.” I shake me head no and put the car in drive.
“Please can we at least talk. How are you and the babies doing? Can I help you with anything? Please I want to see and take care of my babies,” he says pleading as he held onto the car door, looking through the open window.
Marissa, don’t believe him. He will just hurt you again.
As I sit there and try and convince myself to get out of here, that he will only drag my heart through the mud again; I can’t help but feel my iron hold I have on my heart melting away. Just hearing him plead to be there struck a cord with me. I can feel the same feelings that I’ve always felt for him start to flood their way back into my heart and soul. But I can’t tell him that; I have to make him suffer a little bit before I can even deal with him on a more personal level.
It's Not My Island Page 8
