Man Seeking Woman

by Leah Holt

  “Well, he's certainly trying to see something now.”

  “What in world does that mean?”

  August shook his head, speaking down into his chest. “Nothing, it's nothing.”

  His mother watched him, trying to figure out what he meant. She had no clue about what August was doing or why. But I knew, and I wasn't going to get involved in that discussion.

  Dinner with August and his mother was an entire evening full of tension and awkward conversation. The two of them went back and forth, their banter at times comical, but also making me feel out of place.

  I wasn't sure if she was going to smack him at times or if she would crack a smile. She didn't do either, but I left knowing one thing for sure; Fran definitely didn't like me.

  I wasn't a gorgeous fashion model, or a rich and famous actress. I didn't come from money, or from a wealthy family that ran an entire city.

  I was just a simple girl from Rhode Island, with big dreams and a set of balls big enough to bring her to New York to follow those dreams.

  That, in my eyes, made me more than just some girl.

  I was strong.

  I was independent.

  I was a real woman, who didn't need someone else to guide her.

  I chose this, just like I'll choose what's next.

  Chapter Nineteen

  August

  “So. . .” Glancing down at Ella as we drove back to the apartment, I asked, “How do you feel?”

  I was afraid my mother was going to be too much for her to deal with. I just didn't want Ella to be so upset with who my mother was that she'd decide to not give me a child.

  Although, I honestly couldn't blame her. If I showed up to meet her mother and she was a spitting image of mine, I'd probably second guess my decision too.

  Because this child was going to be exposed to her on a regular basis. I would control their interactions the best I could, but that didn't mean I'd be able to shield our baby from all of her.

  “How do I feel?” Giving me a side eye, her lips curled. “I don't know what you want me to say.” Fumbling with the strap on her clutch, Ella shrugged her shoulder. “She's your mother, I'm not going to put her down.”

  “Don't worry about me, you won't hurt my feelings. I just want to make sure she didn't upset you or anything. My mother has a way with words and they're not always pleasant.”

  “I'm fine, August. Besides, it doesn't really matter, this isn't real, remember?” Her mouth went taut as she smiled. “My feelings aren't hurt, I'll be fine.”

  “That's how she is all the time, there was nothing different about tonight or any other night for that matter. She treated you the same as she's treated any other girl I've ever brought home. She hates them all.”

  “Oh yeah?” Angling her head, loose strands of hair slipped over the side of her face.

  “Yeah.”

  Brushing the hair away, her mouth crooked. “She looked at me like I was dirt on the bottom of her shoe. You're telling me that your model girlfriend, Florence, was treated the same? The girl who had high-end fashion good looks, with her sexy french accent and perfect flawless skin.”

  How does she know that?

  I knew the answer, I didn't have to ask her how. “She really does talk. When did that conversation come up?”

  “When you excused yourself to use the bathroom.”

  “God damn it, I should have known.” Pulling the car over, I slammed on the brakes.

  “Why are we stopping?”

  “Ella, I'm sorry I subjected you to that woman.” Turning in my seat, I ran my hand back and forth over my head. “Obviously, we both have a past, but that doesn't mean anything right here, right now. I don't care what she said, how she said it, and how believable she might have been. There's a reason I'm not with any of the girls I've dated, and it has nothing to do with my mother. They weren't right for me, they weren't what I was looking for or ever wanted.”

  Smiling, Ella's eyes lit up bright. “You're serious?”

  “I know that we have a contract, but I want you to know, that I actually do like you.” Scooping her face into my hands, Ella cupped my fingers with hers. “No matter what happens, no matter where we end up when this is all over, I'm happy that you're going to be the mother of my child.”

  “I don't know what to say.” Her cheeks turned the prettiest shade of red as she snuggled her head into my palm. “You're nothing like your mother, you're different. And that difference makes me happy. You'll make a great father.”

  As the words left her lips I couldn't contain myself any longer. I needed to kiss her, to taste her, to take her. To make her forget the evening and only remember how great we felt together.

  She said it didn't matter what my mother thought because this wasn't real. What she failed to realize is that every day we spent together, the harder it was getting to not fall for her. Our pretend game was starting to blend with reality, making it almost impossible to see the two separately.

  “I—”

  Ella took me by surprise, pressing her lips to mine before I could finish. Her tongue swept across the crease of my mouth, tempting my lips to part. Slipping her tongue inside, she tasted like wine and honey.

  Tangling my fingers in her hair, I pulled her over the armrest and onto my lap. Her legs were straddling my waist, tucked awkwardly at my sides. Her dress had slinked up her hips and I could see the shimmer of her wet pussy in the darkness.

  Our lips were locked, tongues dancing, licking, sweeping over ridges. Rocking her hips, Ella rubbed herself against my pants, making my cock firmer and thicker with each swipe of her body. Gripping her ass, I growled low, forcing the air out of my lungs.

  This woman did something to me. She took my heart in her hand, clutching it as if it was meant to only beat for her. Breaking our kiss, I dug my fingers in her hair even deeper, snapping her head back so I could kiss her neck.

  I fucking loved her throat. The way I could feel her quiver if I nipped her just right, the tenderness of her skin, the way she moaned when I sucked on her collarbone; it was invigorating, filling me inside with a need that was like nothing I had ever experienced.

  There was nothing more savage than a man who knew he was trying to get a woman pregnant. When you could actually unleash that natural instinct and let go of the worry or fear, that freedom was purely intoxicating.

  I was drunk on this funny power, a liquid elixir that came from inside, building up this savage beast within. There was no stopping this, not anymore.

  Fumbling with my pants, I pulled my cock out and positioned her pussy on the tip. She was soaked, dripping with arousal. Ella moaned, dropping her head onto my shoulder as I held her hips and pushed her down on my length.

  Dragging my tongue across the shell of her ear, I whispered. “I can feel your cunt squeezing my cock. She likes me in there, doesn't she?” Thrusting upward, I pushed her hips down.

  Ella groaned, arching her back and riding my dick. “She does, she really does. Mm, yeah, fuck, August, you're so damn hard.”

  Clutching her hips even tighter, I refused to let her take over and control this. I knew if I let go of her, she would lose it. She wouldn't be able to stop herself from just plowing through the moment to get to the end.

  It was something that happened to all girls, especially if they were really turned on and hungry to feel the pleasure at that end. If I released her to do as she pleased, Ella's hips would roll faster, her legs would rise and fall, her ass would bounce, all at the same pace, a pace that would be far too quick for either of us to truly enjoy.

  I wanted this to be slow, to be steamy and full of heated intensity and restraint. The type of restraint you have to consciously think about, the type that you're fully aware of and want to ignore, but you can't, because you know if you do, all of it will be over in a blink of the eye.

  If we were both there, if we were both in sync with each other, we'd be able to fuck all night, nice and slow until we both came at the same time.

&
nbsp; That's what I wanted. I wanted that moment. That one single second where the orgasm hit its peak and our bodies were trembling, throbbing, tingling all over at the same time.

  Grunting, I slipped my arms by her ribs, wrapping my hands up and over her shoulders. Thrust after thrust, I commanded her body.

  Angling her head so she wasn't hitting the roof, Ella leaned back slightly, pushing her hands into the top of my knees and grinding down on my cock.

  The car was stuffy, causing the windows to steam up. We were trapped in our own little bubble, the city nonexistent as we lost ourselves in each other. Whatever we were before we went to dinner had changed the second we got back in the car.

  It felt like we were closer, as if we had lived through something that no one else would ever understand. And maybe we had. My mother was a scary, judgmental person that you either left feeling weaker and less valuable as a human being, or you felt more confident in who you were.

  If you could spend a few hours with my mother and not feel like a crazed lunatic or like a worthless bag of assholes, then you deserved the power and confidence you felt.

  Pump after pump, I drove my cock in hard and fast, hitting her lower belly. Ella moaned louder, her voice floating into my ears and causing me to move with her music. She wanted it harder, she wanted it faster.

  So I gave it to her.

  Gripping the back of her shoulders, I tugged her into my chest, holding our bodies together as the orgasm swept between us. I felt her shiver as she laid on my chest, breathless and gasping for air.

  Tink! Tink! Tink!

  “What was that?” Ella asked, whispering in my ear.

  Pushing the button for my window, I rolled it down slightly to see what it was.

  “Is there a problem here?” A man's voice asked, his tone accusatory and firm.

  A bright light shone in my eyes, causing me to lift my hand and block it. “No, Sir, there isn't a problem.”

  Ella slid off my lap quickly and back into her seat, adjusting her dress and wiping around her lips. Her eyes kept shifting back and forth between her lap, the windshield, and the cop at my window.

  “How much have you had to drink tonight?”

  “Nothing really, just a glass of wine.”

  “Can I ask you to get out of the car for me?”

  “August—” Ella's voice was uncertain, still trying to wrap her mind around what was happening.

  It was easy. A cop had seen the car on the side of the road and decided to check it out. That was it. I wasn't drunk, we were both of legal age, this would be a quick formal stop and then we'd be on our way.

  “Step out of the car, Sir.”

  “Alright, I'm coming.” Opening the door, the cop took a few steps away and kept his hand on his holster. “Would you like my license?”

  “I'd like for you to put your hands on the hood of the car and not say another word.”

  Following orders, the police officer patted me down, asking me if I had anything in my pockets he should know about. I didn't, so I let him frisk me without worry.

  “License,” he said, holding his flashlight higher. Passing him what he wanted, he held it in the light. “August Burke, as in—”

  “Burke Brewery, that's me.”

  “I love Not Your Grandma's logger you guys came out with last summer.” Handing me my license, he flashed the light between each of my eyes, scrutinizing the way my pupils reacted to the beam. “You say you only had one drink, is that right?”

  “That's right.”

  “Where you guys heading?”

  “Home, only a few blocks up.”

  “Mr. Burke, you two really couldn't wait a few more blocks before you decided to turn the breakdown lane into your personal bedroom?”

  “I'm sorry, Officer—” leaning forward, I attempted to read his badge.

  “Greenwood, Officer Greenwood.”

  “Officer Greenwood, it wasn't planned. My girlfriend and I just had dinner with my mother, and it didn't exactly go well. I pulled over to apologize and one thing led to another. You know how that goes.”

  “Unfortunately, I don't. I've been married for almost thirty years, we're on a special occasion only type of cycle. Spur of the moment died right after we had our first son.” The officer chuckled, his laugh gritty and thick. “But don't let me scare you, I'm sure you two have years before you end up in that boat.” Tipping his hat, he bent down and smiled at Ella. “No more street shows, why don't you two head home for the night.”

  “Absolutely, thank you, Officer.” Shaking his hand, I climbed back into the car and started to drive.

  “Do you think that's true?” Ella asked.

  “What's true?”

  “That him and his wife don't have sex anymore. Do you think that really happens to couples?”

  “I don't know, I guess it's possible. But I couldn't tell you, my parents were divorced and I haven't had a relationship that lasted long enough to know.”

  “Same here.” Ella took my hand, slipping her fingers between mine and laying it in her lap.

  Glancing at her from the corner of my eye, I couldn't stop the smile that spread easily across my face. Ella was looking out the window, unaware that I was watching her. Her thumb kept gliding over my knuckles, touching me softly, lovingly.

  And as we drove hand in hand back to our home, I couldn't stop thinking about what our future would look like.

  We were planning a baby around ourselves, around what we thought we needed to survive.

  But someplace deep inside, a place I hadn't ever visited and didn't know existed, I knew this baby had a purpose that went beyond our selfishness.

  This baby had brought Ella to me.

  Maybe the sick old man had done something he never could have foreseen. . .

  Maybe he sent me the one woman I could actually love?

  I wasn't going to think about it too much, for now, I was just going to enjoy whatever it was we had found for the moment.

  Chapter Twenty

  Ella

  I feel different.

  When the sun crept through the window, tickling its long fingers across my forehead and over my eyes, I knew something had changed.

  It wasn't just that August had somehow taken a small piece of my heart, it was that I now needed him. I needed this life with him. I needed to share everything, feel that love side by side, not apart, not on different planes, but together as one.

  That's not it. Something else is different. . .

  Opening my eyes, I stared up at the ceiling. This weighted feeling sat on my chest, holding me still. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, I couldn't feel. I was numb from top to bottom.

  I'm pregnant.

  I just knew it without having to take a test or go to the doctor. It had been almost two months since August and I had started doing this dance. We had sex all the time, as often as we could and without using any protection.

  Not once had I felt like this. My boobs were super tender and seemed heavier than usual. I wanted to cry instantly when I opened my eyes for no real reason at all. It was just this urge that rested in my chest and bubbled in the back of my sockets.

  Peeking down at my breasts, my nipples appeared larger and more red. Touching my chest, I pressed down around the edges, massaging the ache.

  This is it, this is what you've been trying for.

  August had already left work, giving me his ritual kiss on the forehead before heading out. It was something I had grown accustomed to, his tender lips waking me briefly to say goodbye and tell me to have a nice day.

  We had fallen prey to this life, to acting like a couple, to pretending like we were more than just two people who had an arrangement. I found myself having to give reminders to my reflection in the mirror, because I could feel myself actually entwining my feelings around August Burke.

  I couldn't let myself become attached, it wouldn't do either of us any good if we strayed away from the agreement and found ourselves in a place neither of us belonge
d.

  My phone jingled on the nightstand, making me sit up on my elbow to see who it was. Kayla had sent me a few pictures of the new heels she had picked up the day before.

  'I don't think I'll be wearing those anytime soon.' Hitting send, I texted her back.

  'Why?' She asked, adding an emoji face with a monocle.

  'Take a wild guess.'

  'Are you serious?' Gaping mouth face, fireworks, and an eggplant followed that text. Not sure what the eggplant stood for, but I had a few guesses.

  'I think so.'

  'The test was positive?'

  'I didn't take a test yet, but I can feel it.'

  'I'm coming over.' Her last text came through, and I knew I had at least twenty minutes before she got there.

  Stretching out in bed, I sprawled across the mattress, taking up as much of the king sized bed as I could. Dragging myself out of the bed, I made my way to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee.

  How much caffeine am I allowed while pregnant?

  Watching the liquid as it trickled into the glass pot, I knew I should do some research, maybe grab a few books on being pregnant, because I didn't have a damn clue.

  As a teacher, I knew all about early development, and how children learn and absorb information. But carrying a child inside my body was totally knew to me.

  “Ella, can I fix you some breakfast?” Valerie asked as she walked into the kitchen with a basket of laundry. August's maid had come back about a month ago, and I still wasn't used to having someone there to clean up after me.

  After moving me in, August gave her some extra time off so we could get into our own rhythm. The first few days after she got back were the most awkward. Valerie would come in and laugh at me when she saw me doing dishes or cleaning the bathroom.

  I would get super nervous and slightly freak out when I heard the door and someone moving around the apartment when I knew August was already gone. The first time I almost took her head off with a plunger from the bathroom. Luckily, she was good about it and had a great sense of humor.

  Valerie was a small woman, much shorter than myself and I was barely five foot three. Her hair was super curly and gray, and she liked to wear the same outfits you'd see on a maid at a hotel.