Breakaway: A friends to lovers romance

by Heather M. Orgeron

  I shook it off and ruffled my hand into his curls before placing a kiss on his cheek. “Thanks, bro,” I said, stepping to the side.

  “Alex...” Colt’s teammate, Ryan purred. “Lookin’ good.” He roved his eyes up and down my body. Normally, I thwarted all of his advances—all of anyone’s really; God, how pathetic was I?—but I smiled and returned his perusal.

  “You don’t look too bad yourself, Ry.”

  From the corner of my eye, I could see the confusion on Colton’s face. He’d just have to get used to seeing me with guys the same way I’d had to get used to seeing him with girls. Our friendship was too important to lose over hormones.

  “You wanna’ dance, Alex?” Ryan asked, reaching for my hand.

  I think I shocked myself along with everyone else in the crowd when I smiled and answered, “I’d love to.”

  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t notice my own pain reflected in Colton’s eyes on the dance floor, but in some twisted way, it felt good. There he was with Marci in his arms, and for once I wasn’t feeling the sick pang in my chest alone. He felt it too. I could tell. And I’d bet he felt it a million times worse than me because I’d had years to adjust to it and he was only just learning what it felt like to watch the other half of your heart in the arms of someone who wasn’t you.

  I tried to focus on Ryan, to feel those familiar butterflies when he touched me. But he didn’t even spark an ember. Nothing. I felt nothing when he pulled me tighter to his hard chest. Not even a flutter as he trailed his strong hands up and down the naked skin of my back and when he licked the seam of my mouth and dove in, giving me my first kiss since the one I’d shared with Colt in my bedroom two years before, I had to fight the urge to retch.

  It was awkward at first, but when I saw the pissed off look on Colton Fowler’s face, it suddenly became bearable. I got really into it, digging my nails into the back of his shirt. I gave as good as I got and felt a triumphant smile curl my lips as Ryan groaned into my mouth. So maybe it wasn’t fireworks and butterflies. Maybe it paled in comparison to the innocent, inexperienced kiss I’d shared with Colt on my pink floral comforter. I could become addicted to the way it felt to make my best friend jealous. I think I just had...

  Ryan and I had worked ourselves into a steady rhythm, and after the third slow dance we’d spent with our tongues down each other’s throats, I felt a tap on my shoulder. In my mind, it was Colt. He’d had enough and was coming to stake his claim on his girl...his girl being me. I’d have to reconsider all of this getting over Colt nonsense that I’d only just committed myself to. I smiled as I pulled my lips from Ryan’s and turned to find a blinding white light shining right in my eyes.

  “That’s enough,” Principal Hart said sternly, lifting Ryan’s hands up from where they’d wandered to my bottom. “Let the girl breathe.”

  My face warmed as our friends did little to hide their laughter. Mr. Hart also played ball with our fathers, and I knew I’d be hearing more about this later. The joys of growing up in small-town Texas. “I’m really disappointed in you, Alexis,” he said, drawing his brows together. “And, Ryan, have a little more respect for the ladies, huh? Keep your hands above the waist, or I’ll be calling your parents.”

  Ryan chuckled. “Yes, sir,” he responded with a salute. “Sorry, sir.”

  Mr. Hart nodded then turned his attention to Colton, who looked like he could breathe fire. “Colton, don’t let your friends disrespect her,” he said pointedly, as if he were my keeper. I hated that everyone made him feel responsible for me.

  “No, sir,” Colt responded, glaring at Ryan.

  For the remainder of that evening, I felt the tension between us like a living thing. However, I didn’t let that little embarrassment put a wrinkle in my plans. I flirted and danced with our friends all while the warden seethed beside me. Oh, he didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to. His disapproving looks and the way he didn’t leave my side said more than he could have. Eventually, he’d get used to it. He’d learn to hide it just as I had. Until then, I’d enjoy his misery.

  The ride home was quiet. Colt sat a little closer to me this time, but he didn’t speak. I stared out of the window with a giddy smile on my face as I answered all of his mother’s questions about the night. I may have gushed a little about how much I liked Ryan to rub salt in the wound. Hey, he’d been flaunting Marci and all of his other girls in my face for two years. He deserved to suffer a little.

  I’d be sleeping over at Colton’s tonight. We’d been spending the night at each other’s houses since we were toddlers. It’d become the routine for our parents to alternate weekends with us. It gave them kid-free time to do their own thing, and Colt and I were always together anyway.

  Colt stormed off to his room as soon as we got home. Mrs. Fowler asked if anything had happened and I told her that I thought he and Marci had got into it. I couldn’t tell her the truth, although she’d probably have been proud.

  “I’m so glad you had such a great time, honey. I was starting to wonder if you’d ever get into boys,” she teased. “Although, you know, we’d still love you, even if you liked girls...It would just make your betrothal a little harder to sell.” She winked.

  “I’m not a lesbian, and I’m not marrying Colt. The sooner you all get that through your heads, the better.”

  She giggled, wrapping a long tendril of my hair around her pale finger. “Stop fighting fate,” she whispered, kissing my forehead. “You two were made for each other...You’ll see,” she added, slipping her finger from my hair and walking off to her room before I could argue.

  I huffed out a frustrated breath as I marched up the stairs. The butterflies that had lain dormant for most of the evening were stirring up a frenzy in my tummy. I rapped my knuckles lightly on Colt’s door. When he didn’t answer, I let myself in, noticing he’d already pulled out the trundle from beneath his bed. The trundle we had yet to use. We’d always slept together in his bed or in mine. He must be really pissed.

  I listened to the steady spray of the water from the shower through his bathroom door, and a waft of his soap filled his small room. I sat on the edge of his bed, feeling dejected...longing for the days when we were still innocent kids making mud pies and riding our bikes up and down the dead-end street for hours and hours.

  The bathroom lock clicked, and I sat up straighter, plastering a smile on my face to disguise the hurt. “Hey,” I whispered.

  Colton walked over to his dresser, grabbed one of his undershirts and a pair of boxer shorts from the drawer, and tossed them next to me on his bed. He looked so sad, and I almost regretted the entire night. But then I remembered all the times I wore that same look. All the times he hurt me, and I got those emotions in check real quick.

  “Hey,” he said quietly. “Bathroom’s free.”

  I rose from his bed, my heart sinking to my toes, as I walked past him into the bathroom that was still steaming from his shower. I wished he’d have grabbed my arm and pulled my body to his, finally confessing that he too felt all of the same things for me that I’d been feeling for him. But he didn’t. After shutting and locking the door, I sat on the edge of the tub, silently releasing all of the emotion that I could hardly contain any longer.

  I slipped out of my dress and into his clothes, bunching the collar of his shirt into my hand and holding it to my nose, breathing in his familiar scent...wishing that things could be different. That there really was such a thing as fate. That the two of us really were destined to be together. That it wasn’t all just a bunch of bullshit that our parents had been feeding us since we were babies. I wished that they hadn’t planted those romantic ideas in my head. That it didn’t hurt so much to love him. Most of all, I wished that he’d loved me back.

  When I was sure that he was asleep and I wouldn’t have to explain my red, swollen face, I crept out of the bathroom and found Colton quietly snoring on the trundle. He’d left me his bed. His body was curled into the fetal position, and his beautiful face turned t
oward the door.

  Reluctantly, I climbed into his bed alone and stared at the bare skin of his back that had somehow begun to change from a boy’s into a man’s without my permission. I fought the urge to crawl down there and lie next to him. He wouldn’t push me away. But I respected his new boundaries, because one of us had to be strong enough to set some, and with tears soaking his pillow, I fell asleep to the familiar cadence of his quiet breaths.

  COLTON (AGE 17)

  “IF YOU BRING CHELSIE, I’ll bring Dean,” I offered. It was the end of our junior year, and our families were getting ready to go on our yearly trip to Alex’s grandparents’ beach house in Pensacola. I knew she had a thing for my buddy Dean, and as much as it grated on my nerves, I also knew it was the only way to get her to bring my new girlfriend, Chelsie.

  She sucked on her teeth, shaking her head. “I really don’t like that girl, Colt.” But I could tell she was starting to reconsider. I could get Allie to do anything with the right motivation.

  “Come on, Al...” I begged, sticking out my bottom lip. “Please? I really like her.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You really like her big tits,” she accused.

  I laughed. “I do...” I couldn’t lie to her any more than she could to me. It was pointless. So, I stuck with brutal honesty. “I’d really like to look at her big tits in a bikini for two weeks too,” I said, waggling my eyebrows.

  Oomph. The book that was just in Alex’s hands came flying at my chest. “Pig.”

  I shrugged my shoulders. “Guilty.”

  There was only one girl I’d ever had feelings for, and she was shooting daggers at me from the foot of my bed. I’d given up on the idea of us a few years ago when I realized that she didn’t share the same feelings. It sucked, but I would take Allie any way I could. Even if it was only as friends. I still had the best parts of her, and I made up for the physical stuff with whatever girl tickled my pickle at the time. Currently, the position of pickle tickler belonged to Chelsie Montgomery, a blond, busty cheerleader that Allie barely tolerated. She gave good head and worshiped the ground I walked on. I needed a distraction from Alex if I was going to survive two weeks looking at her in a bathing suit. Last year, I’d nearly died of blue balls. True story.

  “Why’s it have to be her? What about Jeanine? You seemed to get on pretty well at Ryan’s party last weekend, and I actually like her. What’s so special about Chelsie?”

  I raised my brows. “Besides her tits?”

  “Colton!”

  “Fine...she, uh. She has good ball handling skills,” I teased, sucking in my bottom lip. Hey, she asked.

  Her face turned beet red. “Stop with the basketball humor. It’s not funny.”

  “Blocked by my best friend,” I pouted.

  Her eyes rolled up in her head.

  “Come on, Allie, it’s a little funny.”

  She rewarded me with an evil glare. It was time to pull out the heavy artillery. I reached out my arms, pretending to stretch, and grabbed hold of her foot and began tickling her mercilessly. Alex fell back onto the bed, and I climbed over her, straddling her waist with my knees as I tickled her ribs.

  She bucked and writhed beneath me, and as she rubbed against my crotch, I began to envision what it would be like to make love to my best friend. I tried not to think about how I knew she’d respond to my touch. How she always had.

  Her hands began slapping at my chest, drawing me from my thoughts. “Get off, I’m gonna pee!” she shouted. “Fine! Fine! You win, Colt. Just stop it.”

  “You’ll invite Chelsie?” I asked for clarification as I stopped the assault, but didn’t let her go.

  She was gasping for breath as she answered, “Yes, goddamn it. Get off of me. And you better bring Dean.”

  Dean...Fuck. “Deal.”

  Dean aggravated the ever-living shit out of me the entire twelve-hour drive to the beach. All he talked about was Allie and how he couldn’t wait to get his hands on her. I should have won some sort of award for not beating his fucking face in. This never got easier.

  When we finally arrived at the beach house, I couldn’t get out of my parents’ 4Runner fast enough. The girls hadn’t arrived yet, so I helped unload our bags then excused myself to the bathroom to splash some water on my face in preparation for what was sure to be a grueling couple of weeks.

  I heard a light knock on the other side of the bathroom door where I sat on the lid of the toilet, hiding from Dean. “Who is it?”

  “Colton Fowler, you’d better get your butt out here before this girl drives me crazy,” Alex grumbled through the door.

  I smiled at how miserable we both were with our friends as I unlocked the door and pulled it open. “Wanna come hide in here with me?” I asked, peeking my head out into the hall. I grabbed her hand and ushered her into the small bathroom then shut and locked the door, resuming my position on the lid of the toilet.

  “Colt, she’s terrible. You owe me. Seriously, she never shuts up, yet she somehow never really says anything either. You sure know how to pick ’em,” she said, throwing her hands in the air.

  “I have no interest in her ability to hold up her end of a conversation, Al.”

  Her face was stricken. “But why, Colt? Why do you date these idiots? You can do so much better than a brainless pair of tits.”

  “I have better.”

  She shook her head. “No. Noooo, Colton. That girl is not better. She could be the worst of them all.”

  Perched on the commode with my head in my hands, I uttered the most honest words I’d said to my best friend in a very long time. “I don’t mean her...”

  Allie’s face screwed up in confusion. “Huh? You lost me, buddy.”

  I ran my hands through my hair and raised my eyes to meet hers. “I have you for all of that, Al.”

  I watched her throat move as she swallowed hard and just stared at me. I stared back, trying to force the words that I’d been choking on for so long, but couldn’t. And just as I was working up the nerve to say fuck it all and confess my feelings, there was a bang on the other side of the door.

  I brought my finger to my lips, instructing Alex to keep quiet. “Yeah?”

  “There you are, Colty...” I stifled a laugh as Alex shoved her finger in her throat and exaggerated a gag. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

  “I’m here. I’ll be out soon. Go put on that little red bikini for me?”

  Brainless giggled through the door. “Okay. Hurry up. I’m dying to see you!”

  “She’s dying to see you, Colty,” Alex mocked and then burst out laughing.

  “Unless you want to explain to Chelsie and Dean why we’re locked in the bathroom together, you’d better be quiet.”

  That shut her up.

  Allie looked at me expectantly, clearly waiting for me to finish what I’d started before the universe reminded me of why it would be a terrible idea to confess my feelings to a girl who clearly didn’t feel the same. I’d lose her. I couldn’t lose her, no matter how much it was hurting me to hold on.

  “You should go,” I whispered, gesturing toward the door.

  Her face fell as she turned the lock, hesitating for a moment as she allowed me one last chance to finish what I’d started. If I’d known then the way the rest of that trip would go, I’d have fallen to my knees and laid my heart at her feet. I’d have made a complete fucking fool of myself and risked it all before it was too late.

  Alex and Dean couldn’t have hit it off better, and I was consumed with jealousy as I watched the two of them making out on the beach a few yards down the shore from where Chelsie and I were lounging. I had a gorgeous girl lying topless beside me, and I couldn’t peel my eyes from my best friend.

  Our parents had been taking off in the evenings and leaving us to our own devices for a week now, and each night I watched my girl fall harder for the schmuck I’d brought along for her entertainment. I’d hand delivered the guy who would snatch my heart right out from under my nose, and there
wasn’t a damned thing I could do to stop it.

  I’d seen Allie with lots of guys in the past, and none of them made me burn the way this one did. Because, somehow, I knew that this was different...

  “Colty, will you rub some lotion on my back?” Brainless asked, pulling me from my murderous thoughts.

  “Sure,” I answered indifferently as I grabbed the lotion and mindlessly rubbed it into her sun-kissed skin. She was drop-dead gorgeous and more than willing, but I couldn’t bring myself to want her anymore.

  I tried to lose myself in her sick body, but all I saw was long, dark hair and chocolate brown eyes looking at Dean the way she usually reserved for me. I spent the rest of vacation counting the days ’til we returned home, hoping that everything would revert to the way it was before. But, of course, it never did.

  “Oh my God, Colton...Thank youuuu,” Alex sang as she danced around my bedroom braless, in a tiny tank top and the shortest fucking shorts I’d ever seen. Did she always sleep in such revealing clothes?

  I forced a tight-lipped smile. “Don’t mention it.”

  “This was the best vacation ever...right? Did you and Chelsie have fun?”

  My stomach gurgled. I was going to be sick. “Yeah, Al. It was great.”

  “You just...well, you don’t seem all that excited.”

  I buried my face in my pillow. “Just tired, Allie. Can you shut off the light and get to bed, please?”

  “Really? But we just got home...Don’t you wanna talk?”

  I forced a laugh. “Al, what I really want...is to go to sleep.” I was so tired of hearing how much she liked Dean. I just wished she’d shut the hell up about him already.

  She huffed. “You’re awful grouchy for a guy who just spent the past two weeks playing with the world’s greatest pair of tits,” she teased, poking out her tongue.