Breakaway: A friends to lovers romance

by Heather M. Orgeron

  When she stopped at a red light, Momma’s head turned in my direction. I could see a question brewing in her eyes and that she was trying to decide whether or not to ask it.

  “What?”

  Her throat cleared as she fidgeted a little in her seat. “Did you decide what to do about Dean?” My mother looked terrified of my answer.

  “No,” I answered quietly, clearing my throat. “I can’t...I’m not ready.”

  “Oh, thank God,” she let out a loud sigh, tossing her head back with relief.

  Rolling my eyes, I swatted her arm gently. “Light’s green.”

  My mother dabbed at the tears in her eyes as she pressed the accelerator. Ever the drama queen. “I’m proud of you, honey.”

  “For what?” I certainly wasn’t feeling proud of myself for any of this.

  Her eyes stayed fixed on the road as I felt her right hand patting my leg. “For being brave enough to put yourself first. I know how much you care about Dean, and it’s never easy to hurt the people you love, even when you know in your heart that it’s the right thing to do.” Mom turned to look at me briefly with a sad smile. Too emotional to speak, I simply nodded my head. “I was so afraid you’d end up marrying the wrong guy for all the right reasons.”

  “I just can’t...He deserves better, Mom,” I croaked. “To think I let him waste so many years with me.” A wave of nausea hit and my throat thickened.

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Allie. A broken heart is easy to fool...You fell in love with being loved, but you can’t force your heart to love a person back...no matter how badly you may want to.”

  Tears pooled in my eyes. “I wanted to, Mom. I really thought I did.”

  “I know you did, baby.”

  “Alexis!” I heard my name bellow through the waiting room the instant I stepped through the emergency room doors. Spinning around to locate his voice, I was nearly knocked off my feet when Dean’s body slammed into mine. I felt his arms snake around my waist as his lips landed on the bend of my neck, and my pulse started to race. I stood stalk still, holding my breath with tears pooling in my eyes as Dean’s grip tightened. It felt as if he was afraid to let go. As if he thought I might disappear. As if he already knew.

  Arms that for so long were my shelter suddenly felt all wrong. My body tensed as I laced my fingers behind his neck, hugging him back, sending up a silent prayer that he couldn’t feel the strain. Internally, I warred with the desire to comfort him and not wanting to give him even an inkling of false hope. Dean loved me so much. It was in the way he looked at me, the way he touched me...It’s no wonder his love was such an effective band-aid to my shattered heart. And here I was about to break his. I hated myself.

  My eyes swam with tears as I untangled myself from his hold, backing away just a little. “How’s he doing?” I rasped.

  Dean shrugged, his eyes glossy as he fought back tears. “He’s in surgery now to try to repair a lacerated lung.”

  “What happened?”

  Dean’s hand moved through his hair, pulling at the ends. “He, uh. He fell asleep after pulling an all-nighter at the plant...Went off the road and slammed into a tree at around five this morning.”

  My hand lifted to cover my mouth as I sucked in a sharp breath. I felt his knuckles trail up and down my spine in what was meant to be a comforting gesture and nearly jumped out of my skin. What was the matter with me?

  “Alexis?” Mrs. Ryan asked, squinting her eyes as if she were seeing a ghost as she came around the corner. I was thankful for the interruption.

  “Mrs. Ryan,” I returned, meeting her halfway and wrapping her in a hug. She looked awful. Her usually impeccably styled hair looked like it hadn’t seen a comb in days. The makeup on her face was smudged and her clothes rumpled. She’d been through hell today, and it showed. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, kissing the hair at the side of her head.

  “I don’t know what I’ll do if he—” Her face contorted with pain, silent sobs wracking her tiny frame. Her fear was tangible, shaking me to the bone.

  As her cries began to quiet, she went limp in my arms, nearly fainting from exhaustion. Dean stepped in, walking her over to a small cluster of chairs, where the three of us sat together and waited.

  COLTON

  “GOT IT,” FINN YELLED across the gym, waving my phone in the air. I realized I’d forgotten it when Coach sprung it on us at the last minute that he was extending practice and I’d gone to call Alex to let her know. I’d never memorized her number, even though it’d been the same for years. I knew that she’d worry when I didn’t come home. I’d never been late since she’d arrived, and without my phone, Alex had no way to reach me either. Coach couldn’t run the drills he had planned without me, so he’d agreed to let Finley make a quick trip to the house to let her know that we’d be late.

  “Thanks, man. What’s Allie up to?” Leaving her naked in my bed this morning was difficult, to say the least, and I kinda hoped to find her where I left her when I got back. I was already getting worked up for when she’d have to return to Texas. I had plans to do whatever I could during her last two weeks to convince her to transfer here to UCLA. We’d spent too much time apart already. Alexis was finally mine, and I had no plans of letting her go.

  Finn slapped the phone into my palm, taking a moment to catch his breath from the jog from the parking lot. “Lexi’s not at the house.” His brow furrowed with concern, and I waved it off.

  “She’s probably out meeting her friend, Gertie, for brunch again.”

  “Hustle up, fellas!” Coach shouted to Finn and me over by the bleachers, stabbing at his watch.

  I held up a finger, indicating that I needed a minute, to which Coach begrudgingly nodded his head.

  Finley jogged onto the court, and before I’d even unlocked my phone, practice had resumed. My first call went straight to voicemail, so I hung up and tried again...three more times. All voicemail. Where the hell was she?

  “Everything okay?” Blex asked, tapping me on the shoulder.

  “Huh?”

  “Is Alex okay? Coach has been calling you, and you’re just standing here staring down at that phone. Did you get in touch with her?”

  “No. It keeps going to voicemail,” I answered, clearing my throat. My chest felt tight, and my heart was racing. I couldn’t explain the anxiety I felt over not being able to reach her because even I didn’t understand it. Odds were, her phone had died. I knew that. But for some reason, probably because I was so afraid to lose her now that I finally had her, I was in a full-blown panic. “I’m going to go back to the house and see if she’s there.”

  My buddy’s brows furrowed. “You do realize her phone is probably just dead, right?”

  I nodded, feeling ridiculous.

  “Alexis is a grown ass woman. She’s fine. Get back on that court before Coach has a fucking coronary.”

  Practice lasted another hour, and my performance was less than stellar. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. As soon as we were dismissed, I ran for the bleachers where I’d left my phone to try Alex again, but it was no longer where I’d left it. “Hey,” I shouted at the guys who were making their way to the locker room. “Did any of you pick up my phone by mistake?”

  A chorus of “no” and grunts followed.

  “I’ll keep an eye out for it during cheer practice,” Lyla offered, batting her lashes as she smacked on her lime green gum. Where the hell had she come from?

  “Thanks.”

  Lyla’s hand darted out, clutching my bicep as I started to move past her. “So, I couldn’t help but overhear that Alex is missing...Lemme know if you need any help looking for her, okay?”

  With my free hand, I pried her fingers off my arm. “I’ve gotta go.”

  “Allie?” I walked around the first floor calling her name before heading up to my room, hoping I’d find her there. When I stepped through the door, it felt like I’d been kicked in the stomach. All of the air whooshed from my lungs. No. I broke
out in a cold sweat as I took in the empty hangers in the closet. I pulled open her drawers, already knowing I’d find them bare. I made my way into the bathroom, and all of her girlie shit was gone from the counter. “No!” I yelled, pacing back and forth, trying to make some sense out of this. Why? Why would she leave? I replayed our weekend in Santa Monica. Every amazing minute. Did I misread her? Could I have been that off?

  “Fowls?” Finn shouted, rushing up the stairs. “Did you find her?”

  “She’s fucking gone.”

  “Yeah...” he drew out. “But did you find out where she went?”

  I felt a burn in the back of my throat as I shrugged my shoulders, walking back to the closet and waving my hand over her empty side. “I don’t know, but she took all of her shit, so I’d have to assume back home.”

  Finley’s eyes widened as they darted around the room, noticing the lack of Allie’s things. “What the fuck? She just left without saying anything?”

  “Did you two get into a fight?” Blex asked, his big frame filling the doorway.

  I shook my head, pinching the bridge of my nose to try to ward off a headache.

  “Well, what happened? Think, man. Something had to have happened to have her packing her shit and taking off like a bat out of hell.” Blex stared at me with accusing eyes. A few weeks ago, I’d have accepted full responsibility for behaving like a complete jackass. Something had happened all right, and this the last reaction I ever expected.

  My roommates stared at me expectantly.

  Oh, for fuck’s sake. “We had sex!” I shouted, banging my fist down on the dresser. My body started to shake with anger, with barely restrained emotion.

  Finn and Blex both stared at me at a complete loss for words. Finn finally opened his mouth to speak, and Blex immediately got in his face. “Don’t you even fucking think about it,” he warned, knowing as well as I did that Finn was about to make some stupid remark about Alex leaving after we’d finally had sex.

  I felt like a caged animal, clenching and unclenching my fists to try to work out a little of the tension building up inside. “I don’t understand,” I muttered, pacing the room.

  “Maybe she got scared,” Blex offered. “Girls do weird shit when they’re all up in their feelings.”

  “Maybe,” I agreed, sifting through my memories again, unable to come up with a single time where she’d given any indication that she was having second thoughts. “But to just up and fucking leave without a word, Blex?” I shook my head. “I never expected this from her.” Alex hurt a hell of a lot more than my pride with her little disappearing act.

  “You have to at least call home and check on her,” Finn suggested, passing me his phone. “None of us will be able to relax until we know for sure where she is.”

  Reluctantly, I took the phone. “What the hell am I supposed to say? My mom will be loaded with questions...Beginning with why the hell I don’t know where she is considering she’s supposed to be with me for the next two weeks.”

  “Just tell your mom what happened. She’s cool as shit,” Finn offered. He had an almost disturbing obsession with my mother.

  Blowing out a long breath, I shook my head. “My parents can’t know that anything happened between Alex and me.” I eyed them both. “Got it?”

  “Make the call, Fowler,” Blex ordered, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall.

  Fine. I knew they were right. As pissed as I was at Allie just then, I was equally worried. I dialed mom’s number and waited for her to pick up, praying I could pull off a good enough performance to keep her off our scent.

  “Hello?” she answered with hesitation in her voice.

  “Hey, Ma,” I greeted, trying to sound upbeat. “It’s me. I’m on Finn’s phone.”

  I swear I felt her mega-watt smile all the way from Texas. “Hey, baby, it’s so good to hear your voice. Everything okay? Where’s your phone?”

  “Yeah, everything’s fine. It went missing at practice today. If I don’t find it tomorrow, I’ll have to get a new one...Save Finn’s number in case you need to get in touch with me until then, okay?”

  “I sure will. When are you coming home for a visit?”

  It was the same question every time we spoke, and I almost always gave the same answer. “Soon.” I did visit, just not near as often as she’d like. It was hard to see Allie with Dean before, but I wasn’t sure I could handle seeing her at all after this.

  I hated this part. The part where she stewed in silence over my brushing off her request. “Hey, Mom?”

  “Yeah, baby?” Her voice was thick with disappointment.

  “Have you, uh...Have you spoken to Allie, by chance?” My heart raced with nervous anticipation. If she wasn’t there, I’d have a slew of questions fired at me, and I was in no way prepared to deal with the force that was my mother.

  “Not yet...she’s been with Dean since her momma picked her up from the airport. I should see her tonight, though.”

  I didn’t know it was possible to feel so relieved and angry with one person at the same time. I didn’t know whether to breathe a huge sigh of relief or break every fucking thing in sight. “Awesome,” I choked out, trying not to reveal how angry I was. “I’ve gotta go, Mom. I just wanted to make sure she got home...You know, since I can’t find my phone.”

  “Okay, Colt. I love you so much. Please think about that visit, okay?” Her voice cracked. “Dad and I would like to see you.”

  “Soon,” I lied. “Love you too, Mom.” I ended the call, dropping the phone back in Finn’s hand.

  “Well?” he asked, looking to me for the play by play.

  “She’s been with Dean since her mother picked her up from the airport,” I repeated, feeling nausea churn in my stomach.

  Guess I had my answer.

  ALEXIS

  “I’LL BE BACK TO see you tomorrow,” I whispered to Mr. Ryan, bending to place a kiss on his cheek. “You get some rest, okay?” He squeezed my hand, mumbling something I couldn’t understand, as he drifted off. I stared at him a moment longer, still shaken by how close we came to losing him today. By the grace of God, he’d survived the most difficult surgeries, and the doctors were now saying that although he still had a long road ahead of him, they were expecting a full recovery.

  “You mean a lot to him,” Dean said, scaring me half to death.

  “Jesus! You scared the crap out of me.” We were only allowed in one at a time, and I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be in the room. I was already so on edge with the accident and the flight. And this unfinished business with Dean.

  He smiled a lazy half smile. “It’s so good to have you back, Alexis.” He walked over to his father’s bedside, taking my left hand into his, and twisting an invisible ring around the third finger. With a shake of his head, he blew out a breath.

  Gulp. I wasn’t ready for this. Not here. Not now. “Dean, I don’t—”

  His smile returned, but this time it didn’t reach his eyes. They were sad, defeated, resigned. “It’s okay, babe.” His head tilted to the side, his lips flattening into a straight line. “I took a risk, and I lost...but I’ll never regret us.” A lone tear crept down his cheek as he squeezed my hand.

  I could hardly breathe. “I don’t—I don’t understand,” I stammered.

  “He was the wildcard...” Dean sulked, playing with my fingers as he explained. “Everyone could see the connection the two of you shared, but I was foolish enough to take my shot anyway...I knew it that first summer at the beach. I watched the way you watched him with Chelsie and caught every dirty look he threw my way. I fell hard and fast for big brown eyes and a broken heart. Actually, I think it was your heart that attracted me the most. If you could love the guy who broke your heart so fiercely, then I wanted to be the one who put it back together. Surely, you’d love him more...”

  My lips started to quiver. “I’m so, so sorry, Dean.”

  “I’m not mad, Alex.” He trailed the back of his hand down the side of my face,
rubbing his thumb along my lower lip before pulling it away and fisting it at his side. “How can I be mad over something you didn’t even realize when deep down I knew it all along?”

  “I loved you, Dean,” I whispered, needing for him to know that.

  “I believe you,” he said with a sad smile. “I felt it. That feeling’s what’s kept me holding out hope that maybe someday your love for me would surpass the love you had for your best friend. But you can’t choose who to love. You can’t just turn it off. You were never going to stop loving him because that’s not the type of person you are, and ironically, it’s one of the things I will always love most about you.”

  I could no longer see through the tears flooding from my eyes.

  “When I proposed...you ran right to him. I knew then that it was truly a lost cause. But I still wanted to fight for you...to fight for us.”

  “Dean, I—” He held up a finger, asking me to wait. So, I zipped my lips and let him get out the rest of what he needed to say.

  “I sort of had a rough day after we spoke while you were in California.” His handsome face flushed with embarrassment. “I drove myself crazy wondering what was happening between the two of you every minute of every day until one night my dad and I had a few beers and I confessed everything. He made me promise to let you go. Not only for me but for you too.” He looked over to his sleeping father and smiled. “And he was right, Alex. We had a good run, but it’s time for you to go get your happy ending...and who knows, maybe someday I’ll find one of my own.”

  God, I wanted that for him so much. “You will,” I whispered, fighting back tears, “and she will be the luckiest girl in the world.”

  “There’s my girl!” Mr. Fowler announced when I ambled into the house feeling like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. “How was my boy? He lookin’ okay?”