Cecilia's Secret

by Patricia Gallinetti

  Winsome and Cecilia shared a cabin and they immediately became friends. Winsome was a charming girl, blonde and petite with large hazel eyes. That night as they were dressing for dinner, they chattered about their lives, Cecilia didn’t reveal what happened with Liam, although she was certain Mr. and Mrs. McLeod had heard the story. Eventually the gong for dinner sounded and they excitedly made their way to the dining area, they discovered Winsome’s parents had already arrived and were waiting for the girls and the four of them were seated at the Captain’s table. After a lively evening, getting to know fellow passengers in the lounge Cecilia and Winsome retired. Cecilia could hear her cabin mate breathing softly, the moonlight was shining through the porthole and Cecilia was feeling cooped up, tossing and turning in her bunk eventually she decided to go on deck, maybe the fresh air would help her to sleep. Throwing a light shawl around her shoulders she walked up the stairs, as she emerged on deck and made her way to the side of the ship there was a slight movement in the shadows, but when she turned her head there was nothing there. Shrugging and turning she strolled slowly towards the stern, looking down at the sea as the great vessel ploughed through the waves a bright pathway of phosphorescence was shining in its wake. Above, almost as if to copy the silver bubbles following the ship she could see the milky- way and there was the calming thrum of the huge engines as they pushed towards their destination. Once again there was a flicker of movement in the shadows, somebody was looking at her and Cecilia realized it was the girl again

  “Annie?” Cecilia whispered, “Who are you, why do I keep seeing you?”

  Cecilia looked at the girl curiously, her dark hair was in a thick braid over her shoulder, she wore a white short singlet which revealed her cleavage, over the singlet she had on a man’s shirt, the buttons were undone and the shirt tied in a knot under her breasts, her trousers were a faded blue, torn on both knees and glancing down Cecilia noted the girl was barefoot. The girl looked puzzled and she was frowning at Cecilia, she opened her mouth as if to reply. The apparition slowly faded away. Cecilia stood a moment shaking her head, she wasn’t afraid and believed that this young girl was appearing to her either because she needed Cecilia’s help or, on the other hand wanted to help Cecilia. Puzzled and wishing she knew more, Cecilia returned to her cabin.

  Waking up the next morning with a slight headache, Cecilia looked around and noticed that Winsome had already left the cabin. Cecilia hadn’t heard a thing, for the first time since the break-up with Liam she had slept soundly. Finding a secluded corner on deck, she settled herself down to read, eventually feeling hungry she realized it was time for lunch. When she arrived in the lounge she found Mr. and Mrs. McLeod and Winsome sitting around a small table, each with a drink in front of them.

  “Cecilia,” cried her friend “At last.” She said with a relieved expression “I have been looking for you. We were just going in to lunch.” They all looked at Cecilia curiously and Mrs. McCleod queried. “Are you feeling well Cecilia dear?” Cecilia smiled and told them all she was feeling fine, in fact better than she had felt in a long time.

  The voyage was uneventful and the girls enjoyed themselves. There was a fancy dress ball planned for the night before the ship docked in Durban and the costume voted the best by the passengers would be awarded a prize. On the night of the ball the girls agreed, the best costume was Cleopatra, worn by a young woman who eventually won the competition and the prize was a bottle of champagne.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  South Africa - 1931

  T he ship was at last in sight of the African coast, as they neared the Durban Harbour and looked ahead they could see the dock bustling with humanity, on the left was a massive rock jutting out to sea resembling a whale. Cecilia thought it was beautiful with the clouds floating above it, which set off the greenery on the bluff. At last the Themistocles pulled slowly into the side of the wharf, the crew on board standing ready to throw the ropes to the men on the landing and the gang-plank being swung out and secured. Some passengers were waving to the crowd standing watching and there was a general air of excitement. Mr. McLeod, went off to secure transport and to supervise the luggage, he arrived with a porter and then there was a long wait while their luggage was identified and loaded onto the luggage trolley, finally they were making their way to the hotel.

  On the way there, Cecilia gazed at the different people that thronged the streets, there were a variety of fashions and colours, the most notable were the black women, most of them with bright turbans, carrying huge bundles gracefully on their heads while they walked regally, chattering to each other not bothered by the weight, as well as having contented, fat, cute babies on their backs. There were a few strange vehicles parked in a row and standing next to these – carriages, were tall black men dressed in the most amazing outfits. Their head-wear was unique. She turned to her companion.

  “What in heavens name are those things?” she asked.

  Winsome giggled.

  “Those are called Rickshaws and the men who pull them are mostly Zulu’s,” she replied, “they have competitions among themselves to see who has the most colourful decorations,” she explained “they twine ribbons around the wheels of the rickshaws and attach bells to them. After a delicious cold lunch and tall glasses of ice tea, Winsome took Cecilia’s arm and winking at her mother she said.

  “Come on, we have a surprise for you.” They walked out into the hot sun and Cecilia was thankful that she had put on a wide sun hat as had the other two women and Mr. McLeod sported a dashing panama. They strolled along, Cecilia gazing at the many sights, she was fascinated by the variety of wares spread out on the pavement. Crocheted hats, beaded book-marks, doilies and tea cosies and exquisite lace shawls. Various animals made from wire and hundreds of small beads. Cecilia kept on stopping to inspect all the exciting merchandise she wanted to buy everything.

  “Come on, come on,” said Winsome pulling her “we can look later, on our way back to the hotel.”

  Cecilia noticed they were walking towards the strange carriages, while Mr. McCleod spoke to one of the drivers Cecilia studied the rickshaw she noted there were only two wheels and two long shafts were attached to the vehicle, after he had negotiated a price, the two girls climbed in and settled themselves down on the seat. The colourful driver stepped in between the shafts and lifting the conveyance up took off at a speed, Winsome warned Cecilia.

  “Hang on tightly.” she said, laughing mischievously.

  They were jogging along with their driver chanting to himself, suddenly with a guttural grunt, he leapt up into the air, the rickshaw tipped back and Cecilia thought they were sure to fall out. With a yelp of surprise Cecilia, grabbed her friend’s arm and with the other hand clutched the side of the rickshaw, her knuckles turning white, her eyes widening. Cecilia noticed the tall man kept his legs up and the rickshaw was travelling along on its own steam, the back of the vehicle barely skimming above the road, with the two girls hanging on, at last the driver put his legs down and the rickshaw slowly came to a stop, he turned towards the parking they had just left and when they alighted he looked at them with a big, wide, friendly grin and said.

  “Hamba hahle”

  “What did he just say?” asked Cecilia

  “Well, it’s Goodbye, but really means go carefully.” Replied Winsome.

  Cecilia was laughing. “Oh Winsome,” she spluttered. “what a great experience, what fun. Thank you.”

  On the way, back to their hotel Cecilia made a few purchases from the roadside vendors for her family, Winsome insisted that Cecilia was expected to haggle. After spending the night on the train, they at last arrived in Johannesburg. Cecilia had been told her Aunt and Uncle would be on the platform to greet her and as the train pulled into the station, she saw them almost immediately, recognizing both from photos. Eloise looking very excited grabbed Cecilia in a big hug. Mr. and Mrs. McLeod and Winsome alighted from the train behind Cecilia. After introductions, all round and promises to phone each other, The Mcleod
s waved goodbye.

  Uncle Frank turned to Cecilia with a friendly smile.

  “Well, well,” He said “at last we meet. Welcome Cecilia, I hope you are going to enjoy being with us.”

  Eloise was still beaming from ear to ear as she joined arms with Cecilia.

  “I’m so pleased to see you at last dear child.” chattering non-stop she led Cecilia to an old battered car. Frank was the postmaster in Lyndhurst, the town where they had lived for years and their little house was attached to the Post Office. Lyndhurst was a small suburb, a little sleepy farming community not far from the city. Eloise and Cecilia sat in the back, with her aunt doing most of the talking.

  “Cecilia, you have no idea how long I have been waiting for this moment,” she said “I wish Helena and Agnes could have come with you. It has been years since my sister and I have seen each other.”

  Cecilia replied

  “She misses you Aunt, Mama is always talking about you.” Eloise smiled and hugged Cecilia again.

  When they arrived, Eloise showed Cecilia to her room, which was quaint and charming.

  “Cecilia, don’t hesitate to tell me if there is anything you want changed.”

  Cecilia was enjoying life again at last, she had met several young people her own age and every night she went out to the cinema, dancing, parties and cheerful picnics. Somebody always brought a gramophone along and the friends would dance on the grass to all the songs. They played the latest hits. “Happy Days are here again.” “On the Sunny Side of the Street.” “Chant of the Jungle.” and many more. There was one gentleman whom Cecilia liked more than the others, his name was Patrick Taylor. Aunt Eloise and Patrick’s mother Olga had been friends for years. Patrick often called on Cecilia and they were always invited out together as a couple, she felt he was falling in love with her and she grew fond of him, he was so different from Liam, but she wasn’t ready for commitment, it was far too soon. Thoughts of Liam very seldom entered her head and she hoped she was getting over her love for him. Patrick had never tried to kiss her and for that she was grateful, this was one of the reasons why she regarded him as a special friend. maybe in time she would grow to love him. Cecilia and Winsome also saw each other often. She missed Helena and Winsome filled the gap. Winsome would on occasion join Cecilia and her friends on the picnics, or to see a show and they went to bioscope (cinema) and cabarets.

  She had spoken to Eloise about Liam.

  “Aunt. Did mama tell you about Liam?” she asked sitting down in the lounge with Eloise.

  Eloise replied “Yes, she told me dear, and I am so sorry this happened to you, but, there are plenty of fish in the sea and I think you were fortunate to find out before you did something foolish,” She put her arms around Cecilia and hugged her.

  “If you ever want to talk about things, confide in me,” she said. “I love you my girl.”

  Eloise and Frank had no children of their own and having Cecilia stay with them was a blessing.

  Christmas was not much different from home. Olga and Patrick joined them for lunch and there was a great deal of hilarity and Christmas pudding with brandy and tickeys baked inside, (a tickey was a small silver coin, equal to 3 pennies). Eloise knew how many tickeys were in the pudding and she warned everybody to chew carefully. Cecilia found a tickey in her pudding and vowed to keep the little coin with her always in remembrance. Looking around the table, Cecilia, never thought she would enjoy her time in South Africa so much and had made wonderful friends especially Patrick and his mother. She had grown to love her aunt and quiet Uncle Frank.

  Her Christmas present from Eloise and Frank was a delicate gold chain necklace with a tiny gold charm that read ‘Cecilia.’ Sadly she misplaced her tickey, and she thought maybe the tiny coin was thrown out with the rubbish. New Year’s Eve Patrick and Cecilia met up with friends including Winsome and they all went into Johannesburg to celebrate. There was dancing in the streets and shouts of Happy New Year. On the way home Patrick gave Cecilia a small jewel box. He said.

  “I haven’t given you anything for Christmas, I hope you like this.”

  She slowly opened the little box, and gasped in surprise, inside was a delicate silver chain bracelet, with her tickey attached.

  “Oh Patrick.” she squealed. “This is so lovely; I thought I had lost my tickey. What a divine present.”

  She threw her arms around him spontaneously and hugged him, kissing him on his cheek, he bent his head and kissed her on her lips lingeringly and gazing into her eyes was about to say something, but she rapidly drew back changing the subject

  Cecilia and Patrick were often together, she knew Patrick had fallen deeply in love and felt he was ready to ask her to marry him and didn’t know how to let him down lightly. Cecilia wanted to return home eventually, she missed Mama and Helena and Archie and reluctantly admitted that she also missed Liam.

  She confided in her aunt, who was sympathetic and understood Cecilia’s predicament.

  “Well,” said Eloise. “Just be honest with Patrick, if he pops the question tell him how you feel. He will appreciate it.” advised Eloise, she smiled at her niece and continued “But, I hope you plan to stay with us for a while yet, Frank and I are enjoying having you here.” Contrary to her expectations Patrick never broached the subject and the two of them with their group of friends continued to enjoy the parties and picnics.

  Patrick had found work in a newspaper office and started at the bottom, he wasn’t earning too much, but he told Cecilia he hoped to work his way up the rung and become a reporter. Cecilia knew then why he had not asked her to marry him, she was sure he wanted to build his career first. She realized she wasn’t missing her Mother and sister as much as she once did. She was happy and not as homesick as when she had first arrived.

  Then, she received a telegram from Agnes.

  HELENA GRAVELY ILL WITH RHEUMATIC FEVER STOP

  CATCH THE EARLIEST SHIP HOME STOP

  URGENT MOTHER.

  Reading it she felt a cold chill down her spine, Oh God, Helena. Please let her be alright. She rushed to find Aunt Eloise who was instantly on the move.

  “Come on love,” she called “let’s run and find Uncle Frank and he can drive us to the shipping office.” Frank managed to book Cecilia on a ship leaving Durban in three days.

  It was chaos as Cecilia and Eloise were packing the trunks, shoes on the floor, stockings and underwear draped over the chairs the bed was piled high with various garments. Patrick phoned and she told him she was leaving to go back to Melbourne. He was very quiet and then he said decidedly.

  “Cecilia, do you mind if I come and visit you for a moment? There is something I want to ask you.”

  Cecilia thought she knew what he wanted to ask her, he was a very sweet gentle soul and she didn’t want to hurt him. She hesitated then replied.

  “Yes, Patrick come and see me, we can say goodbye properly, I leave tomorrow.”

  That night Patrick arrived and to her surprise the question he asked was not to ask her to marry him, he wanted to know if he could go with her to Durban and see her safely on the ship.

  “Patrick.” she said. “You don’t have to you know, it’s such an expense.” she was secretly glad however because she was nervous about travelling alone down to Durban. Eventually it was all decided and Patrick said goodnight kissing her passionately, Cecilia touched her lips thoughtfully.

  It’s not the same. His kiss hasn’t left me breathless as it did when Liam kissed me.

  She phoned Winsome who became very upset and Cecilia also had a lump in her throat.

  “Please Winsome, say goodbye to your parents for me and tell them I am very grateful for their help. I will write to you and maybe we’ll see each other again one day.” Sadly, she hung up.

  She wondered what had happened to Liam while she had been away, was he still in Australia? For all he had put her through she realized she still could not stop thinking about him.

  It was a tearful goodbye at the station the next d
ay and Eloise hugged Cecilia, sobbing.

  “Please, don’t stay away too long, please come back soon, I love you like a daughter dear darling girl.”

  As the train pulled away Cecilia looking out the window, saw her aunt waving her handkerchief, the little white square of cloth becoming smaller and smaller. She blinked away the tears as she wondered when she would ever see all her dear friends again.

  It was an overnight journey as before and Cecilia was grateful Patrick had accompanied her, it was then she confided what Liam had done, hesitantly Cecilia told him she still loved Liam.

  “I know he doesn’t deserve it, Patrick” she said, “But I can’t stop loving him.”

  Patrick grew quiet and eventually said.

  “Well, it’s getting late. I’ll see you in the morning, we should arrive about 8am.”

  Taking her hand, gently squeezing, he kissed it and let himself out the compartment. When they eventually arrived at the docks, Patrick arranged for a porter and organized the loading of her luggage. He went on board with her to make sure her cabin was suitable and she was touched to see a huge bouquet of Proteas on her dressing table. The card read ‘Bon Voyage, Love Always, Patrick.’ When the call came for all visitors to leave the ship, Cecilia threw her arms around Patrick’s neck tightly and kissed him on the cheek, sobbing.

  “You are such a kind dear friend and I am going to miss you. Oh, so much, I promise I will write.”

  The vessel pulled away from land and she saw Patrick walking slowly along the pier to the end, as the ship sailed slowly past him, he waved, she felt bereft and sad.

  Why couldn’t I have given my heart to this quiet strong man instead of to Liam? she thought.

  As the ship continued ploughing out to sea, she stood on deck watching Patrick’s figure getting smaller and smaller. She was sure he must have stood there for a long time even after her ship was out of sight.