Bonner's Way

by Carlysle, Regina

  “Allison? Is everything okay?”

  The hospice nurse assigned to help Emma each day spoke quietly. “Callie, I think you need to come home, honey. You might want to get the kids from school, too. She’s asking for you.” Another ominous clap of thunder shook the walls, but this time she hardly noticed. All sound seemed to fade as a vacuum of quiet engulfed her. Her heart threatened to beat from her chest. Her legs trembled as did her hands.

  Callie wasn’t ready to lose the most important person in her world.

  Not yet.

  Logically, she’d known the time was coming, but there was nothing remotely logical about her emotions. They ran the gamut from memory to loss and back again. Callie fisted her hands on the counter in a struggle to catch her breath. Finally, common sense took hold. There wasn’t a moment to waste.

  She hollered at Doris through the pick up window, explained the situation, shrugged into her jacket, and rushed out into the storm.

  It wasn’t until Mac got just past the edge of town that he realized he’d forgotten something, so he made a quick U-Turn and headed back into Cotton Creek. Not like there was much to do on a day like this one anyway. Heavy rain washed over his double cab truck in a wave, and with a quick flick of his wrist, he ramped the windshield wipers up another notch then turned off the radio. After talking with Callie earlier, he wasn’t in the mood for anything that smacked of happy, and he knew that even if he’d had perfect weather, not much would get done. He wasn’t in the mood for it.

  Squinting into the storm ahead, he thought of Callie and the ordeal she faced. Life often wasn’t fair and he knew it, having experienced his own share of loss at a young age. A massive heart attack had taken his dad not long after Mac’s fifteenth birthday. The years that followed were some of the most grueling of his life as he’d worked side-by-side with his mother, sister, and loyal hands of the Deuces Wild as they kept the ranch running effectively. It was the hardest of jobs considering it was done while nursing a wounded heart. Memories, rich with renewed pain swamped him, leaving him sorrier than he could say for what Callie would surely face soon. The whole town felt for her because there was no doubt she was popular in their small hometown. She was sure as hell well-liked by him. Back when he’d been a green kid he’d actually loved her and, well, he figured part of him always would.

  There was something special about her.

  After that long ago summer, he’d headed off to college, had his fill of women and parties and had somehow, miraculously, earned a degree. But always in the back of his mind, Callie was there, and though years had passed and young, immature love had morphed into a deep friendship, a part of him wondered, and yes, wished for more. She wasn’t the glossy, sophisticated kind of beautiful that he’d admired as a kid. Instead, she was wholesome and friendly with a smile that seemed to start in her heart to spread over her face like a blast of sunshine.

  He was a man now, a man who had a whole new appreciation for pretty blonde, blue-eyed Callie Murphy and damn if he wasn’t determined to move them from friends to lovers. The timing was all wrong for that now. The woman had a hell of a lot on her plate.

  Emma Decker, Callie’s sister, had been stricken with cancer a year ago, and after running the gamut of chemo and radiation, it soon became clear that treatment wouldn’t save the divorced mother of two. Callie’s devotion to Emma and the kids, Isabelle and Austin, was clear. She worked so hard to keep this small family afloat. Darrell Decker, Emma’s ex, was sure as shit worthless. He was currently serving twenty years in Huntsville for armed robbery, and even if he’d still been in the picture, he would have been no help. It had all fallen to Callie. To Mac she was a heroine, though he knew she’d never see herself that way.

  Pulling onto Main Street, Mac stopped at two red lights, but when he got to the third, he glanced toward the convenience store and saw Callie trudging through the parking lot, drenched to the bone. Her hair was plastered to her head, and her jacket was a sodden mass, clinging to her body. With her head bent forward, she seemed oblivious.

  Pity threatened to choke him and then anger kicked in.

  Mac whipped into the parking lot and laid on the horn as he rolled down the window. “What the fuck? What the hell are you doing out in this weather? Why didn’t you call?” Callie’s eyes widened, rain dripping from her lashes and pouring in rivulets down her face. She opened her mouth and closed it. He’d had enough. “Get in.”

  His tone must have been firm enough because she raced around the hood of his truck as he leaned over and pushed the door open for her. Breathlessly, she crawled into the cab and he gave her a look. “Where ya headed?”

  “Home. The Hospice nurse called.” She turned to face him, her features a study of panic. “Oh, Mac. I have to get the kids at school.”

  “Damn it.”

  She shuddered visibly then nodded.

  “Call the school and tell them I’m coming in to get them both.” He turned down the street toward the elementary school. “You’ll get sick if you get out in this cold rain anymore, so I want you to sit tight. Got that?”

  “Yes, yes, got it.”

  As she spoke to the school secretary, Mac drove the three blocks to the red brick school. Playground equipment set empty, and the American and Texas flags flapped wildly against the stormy gray sky. He pulled into the circle drive and in no less than five minutes, stood looking at Emma Decker’s two children. He’d only been around them a few times in the past and never for very long.

  “I’m Mac,” he said, bending down to place himself closer to eye-level with the children. Isabelle, whom everyone called Izzy was in kindergarten. Cute little thing, she was, with heavy brown hair and big brown eyes. Austin was a second grader who looked remarkably like his sister. Confusion marked their faces, but Mac figured kids were pretty smart and these children knew damn good and well that something was wrong. He smiled a little, trying his best to appear non-threatening. “I’m a friend of your mom’s and your Aunt Callie. Callie is in the car waiting for you. Want to come to the window to see?”

  Austin nodded and took Izzy’s hand. Mac walked with them to a wide bank of windows and let them peer out. Callie waved at them from the cab of his truck and Austin seemed to relax. He looked up and frowned. “Is Mama okay?”

  Oh yeah. These little ones had been through a lot.

  Pity squeezed his heart again, but he forced a small smile, hoping to reassure them if only for a little while. “She just wants to see you two. Come on now. Let’s join Aunt Callie and we’ll see what’s what. Okay?”

  As naturally as if he did it every day of his life, he lifted Izzy with one arm and settled her against his side then took Austin’s hand as they headed out into the storm. Izzy’s hand immediately went to rest against his chest, and he squeezed her a little in return. This kind of trust was new for Mac. He’d lived his life, for the most part, among men, and his experience with kids was limited. They faced a rough time ahead though; something no child ever deserved.

  An uneasy silence fell once the children were buckled safely into the back seat of his truck. He drove toward Callie’s place, and in roughly ten minutes, pulled into the gravel drive next to a tiny wood-framed house that didn’t seem big enough to house a family of mice. Back when he and Callie had dated, both she and Emma lived with their foster parents in another part of town. Emma married Darrell Decker, and he’d brought her here, but after their divorce, Callie had moved in to help her sister with expenses and the care of the children. The neighborhood was ratty, populated by old, run-down vehicles and houses in various states of disarray.

  Mac remained silent as Callie hustled out and tended to Austin and Izzy, noting as he looked around, the attempts that had been made to make the cracker box abode homey. A small bench sat at one end of the porch and several hanging plants hung nearby. A colorful welcome mat occupied a spot in front of the door. When Callie ushered the kids inside, he didn’t wait for an invitation but followed the trio. The house was neat, though poorly
furnished. There was a tiny living room and kitchen combination and a small bedroom on either end of the house. Pictures of Izzy and Austin at various ages held places of prominence atop an ancient television and care had been taken to frame the children’s drawings that hung on the walls.

  Callie reached out and touched Mac’s arm. “You don’t have to stay, Mac,” she said. “Thanks for everything.”

  “Think I’ll stick around for a bit if you don’t mind. You might need something.”

  Callie blinked her big, blue eyes and cocked her head. “We’ll be okay.”

  He shook his head. “I insist.”

  “Then please, make yourself comfortable. I’m sure Allison put on some fresh coffee, so help yourself.”

  Mac started to speak but was interrupted when the Hospice nurse stepped through the doorway of the bedroom. Everyone froze in place as if to gauge the expression of her face but there was nothing except serene acceptance written there. Callie looked at the woman for several long moments and started to pull off her coat. Mac stepped behind her and reached for the sodden mess and helped her with the task before moving to each child and divesting them of jackets.

  It was the least he could do.

  Feeling like an intruder, yet knowing he had to stay, Mac watched as Callie talked quietly with the nurse. A tiny hand found his, causing him to look down. Totally absorbed in what the adults across the room discussed, Izzy didn’t look at him.

  He wondered if the sweet, little thing realized how much her life was about to change. How could she begin to understand? Mac’s heart ached for her. Poor baby!

  Austin sat down in an old easy chair and pulled off his shoes before retreating into the other bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

  “Bubba needs to be alone,” Izzy said in a soft voice.

  “Well then, I guess we need to leave him be, sweetheart. Why don’t you and I sit over here for a while?” Mac led the little girl to a sofa where they sat together while waiting for news from Callie and it didn’t take long.

  “Emma wants to see me and the kids,” she whispered, standing in front of him, looking more uncertain than a body ever had a need to. “Is Austin in his room?”

  Mac nodded, and as if on cue, Austin emerged from his safe haven. Callie looked down at Izzy and Austin, taking each child by the hand, and ushered them into Emma’s room. Mac knew he should leave them in peace to say their good-byes, if that in fact was what they faced today, but something told him, he should stay. Allison glanced his way with a sad smile and moved into the kitchen where she began putting away dishes that were drying in a drain rack, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

  Finally, closing his eyes, he let his head drop back as the torrential rains slowed to a light patter on the roof. He freely admitted he had little experience with death. The exception being his own dad’s passing, of course. Mac recalled the initial shock at the suddenness of it all and the numbness that had followed. Though his mother had tried valiantly to carry on normally, he and his sister Kate had agreed that nothing would be the same again. Once Kate married, moved away, and became the mother of two rowdy boys, it hadn’t taken long for his mother to follow her only daughter.They’d always been close and, after all the hard years of dealing with the ranch, his mom needed a different kind of life.

  And himself?

  Mac was a man of the land and Cotton Creek was home. Always would be. These days he saw what remained of his family several times a year, and though he missed them, he’d never once considered leaving the home that had been a part of his heritage since Texas was first settled. He would do as the others had done and find his way, make a home and a family right here.

  Everything changed after a death.

  Maybe that was why he connected with Emma Decker’s children on such a basic level and with Callie too, for that matter. She was a survivor who had a hell of a lot more bad stuff to deal with after this was all done.

  The door to Emma’s room opened with a creak so Mac shoved his thoughts aside for more immediate concerns as two lost-looking, red-eyed children came into the room.

  Callie paused in the doorway and looked at him. “Mac?” she whispered. “Could you—?”

  “Yeah, I’ve got it.” He bent down to Izzy, who had already stolen his heart, and noticed the trembling of her bottom lip. Without hesitation, he scooped her up and sat on the sofa with her in his lap. “There now, little Ladybug. Let’s just sit here and think about things together. How would that be?” He didn’t expect an answer and simply held her as she rested her head on his chest. Mac looked at Austin who seemed lost and trying hard to hide it. “Buddy, you want to come over here and help your sister? She’s pretty sad. Looks like you are too.”

  Austin gazed at him through bleary eyes then studied his sister who had just slid her thumb into her mouth. He sighed as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders, and Mac knew it was.

  Austin walked up and dutifully pulled Izzy’s thumb from her mouth. “Mama doesn’t want you to do that, Iz. So stop it.”

  Izzy made a frustrated sound and promptly shoved her thumb back into her mouth. Austin sighed again, this time much more dramatically. “Okay, just this once.”

  Mac was fascinated by the exchange and already he could see the patterns of their personalities. Austin saw himself as the man of the family and Izzy’s protector. And Izzy? Well, aside from being too cute for words, she was just plain stubborn as all hell.

  As Austin moved closer, Mac settled a hand on the boy’s shoulder then pulled it back when a soft cry sounded from the bedroom. He moved Izzy from his lap and stood as Callie came through the door, tears pouring from her eyes. She covered her mouth with her hand for just a moment as if to stifle another cry then fell to her knees in front of her niece and nephew, gathered them into her arms.

  “Your mom had to leave us,” she whispered. “An angel just came down from heaven and told her that she had to go now, but that it was so pretty up there. She wasn’t afraid. Not one bit.”

  She paused and Mac saw the trembles that wracked her body. Her grief was like a living thing that had grabbed hold and refused to release her.

  “Your mom told me to tell you every day how much she loves you. She’ll always be watching you, too. From heaven.” Callie’s voice broke over the words as she held those sweet children against her body. The kids began to cry as they clung to the only other person in the world who loved them as much as their mother.

  Mac had never felt more powerless. He fisted a hand and rubbed it over his breastbone where a dull ache grew. His eyes burned and his fingers itched to touch them all, this little family, and tell them that everything would be okay. And it would be okay.

  He’d make sure of it.

  Chapter Two

  The past two weeks had whipped by for Callie in one painful blur. Getting back to work after having time off was, in many ways, a huge relief. Some normal was much needed for her family, though she knew definitively that nothing would ever be the same again. Still, wrapping her mind around hard work kept her busy and held sad thoughts at bay, if only for a while. Now that she was home for the day, she walked into the bedroom she currently shared with the kids. A bunk bed featuring a full size mattress at the bottom and a twin-sized above set against one wall. Callie gratefully sank down on the bottom bed and sighed, slipping off her shoes and carrying them to the closet to place next to a pair of miniature Hello Kitty tennis shoes, belonging to her niece. The sounds of SpongeBob SquarePants blasted through the adjoining wall as she shed her work clothes for super-comfy-sloppy sweatpants and a tee shirt. After dragging a brush through her hair, she joined the children who were currently seated on the couch.

  They seemed completely distracted by the cartoon, but she was fully prepared for another rough night with them. Nightmares and other small freak-outs had become standard for Izzy since the death of her mother, and Austin remained quiet and withdrawn. She’d been so caught up in dealing with them that she’d had little time to dea
l with her own grief. Thinking on it now, she knew it was best. Her niece and nephew had to come first, so she ignored the burning behind her breastbone and the hollowness in her heart.

  Existing.

  Moving.

  Struggling to breathe.

  For days, Callie had worked through the numbness of all that had passed by simply putting one foot in front of the other and focusing on each task at hand. She was, by nature, a cheerful optimist, but those traits were currently nowhere to be found. Faking it, when all she wanted to do was bawl like a baby, became increasingly difficult.

  Callie put her arms around each child and forced a smile that came nowhere close to suiting her mood. “How was school?”

  Austin shrugged. “Dunno. Okay.”

  There was only silence from Izzy, whose chin sank further against her chest.

  All righty.

  She tried again. “Are you guys hungry? What should we do for dinner? How about mac and cheese or maybe sloppy joes?” God, she hated the forced cheerfulness of her own voice.

  “Sloppy Joes.” Austin didn’t move his gaze from the TV screen. Izzy remained non-responsive.

  Well, that was certainly definitive, if lacking in excitement.

  Breathing out a sigh, she stood, resolved to keep forging ahead. Obviously, no further conversation was forthcoming from either of them, so Callie figured it best to just leave them alone. “Okay then. I’ll leave you to your show. I’m off to cook.”

  The kitchen set just off the living area and on her way there, she spared a glance at the closed bedroom door leading to the room where her sister had died. Aside from going in to locate a dress for Emma’s burial, she’d not been inside once since her life had gone to hell. Logically, she knew it made sense for her to move into the space to give both her and the kids more room, but she hadn’t had the courage to make the switch. It was all too soon, and yet she knew she would be unable to put off the inevitable forever.