Bring Your Own Poison

by Jimmie Ruth Evans

  “Are you pregnant?” Wanda Nell got up to rinse out the washcloth.

  “I think so,” Miranda said, her voice faint. Wanda Nell had to strain to hear her above the running water.

  “Why did you lie to me the other day, then?” Wanda Nell asked. “You told me you had an upset stomach.” She wrung out the washcloth again and handed it to her daughter.

  Miranda got up from her knees and perched on the edge of the bathtub. She wiped her face again before answering.

  “I was afraid to tell you,” Miranda said. She looked down at her feet. The washcloth dangled from her hands.

  Once the initial shock wore off, Wanda Nell found she was actually pretty calm. They would simply have to deal with the situation and move forward.

  “There’s no point in trying to hide things like this, honey,” Wanda Nell said. “I was going to find out eventually.”

  “I know, Mama,” Miranda said. Her eyes welled with tears. “But you were so happy because Jack asked you to marry him and everything, and I didn’t want to tell you and make you mad.”

  “I’m not mad at you,” Wanda Nell said, and it was true. She was disappointed, but not angry. Getting angry with Miranda wouldn’t help the situation any. She put the lid of the toilet down and sat on it. Her knees touched Miranda’s.

  Miranda scrunched closer to her mother and laid her head in Wanda Nell’s lap, wrapping her arms around her mother’s waist. Wanda Nell stroked her hair while Miranda cried.

  When the burst of sobbing stopped, Wanda Nell pulled Miranda back up into a sitting position. She took the wadded-up washcloth from her daughter’s hand and wiped her face with it.

  “We need to talk, Miranda,” Wanda Nell said, softly but firmly. “No point in any more crying, okay?”

  Miranda nodded.

  “First thing,” Wanda Nell said. “How sure are you?”

  “Pretty sure,” Miranda said.

  “Okay, second thing. Does Teddy know?”

  “No, ma’am.”

  “Then you need to tell him, and right away,” Wanda Nell said, her tone even more firm.

  “But, what if he…” Miranda’s voice trailed off, and the tears flowed again.

  “What if he walks away, you mean, and doesn’t want to have anything more to do with you or the baby?” Wanda Nell sighed. “If he does that, then we’ll just cope with the situation, honey. We don’t have any choice.”

  “But I love him, Mama,” Miranda wailed.

  “I know you do, and he loves you, too,” Wanda Nell said. “I don’t think he’s the kind of man who would walk away and leave you and your baby. You have to tell him, because it may take him a little while to get used to the idea, though.”

  “He told me he wanted us to get married,” Miranda said, sniffling every few words, “but he wanted to wait until he had saved up enough money so we could get us our own house, or maybe a trailer.”

  “How long did he think that was going to take?” Wanda Nell wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the answer.

  Miranda hung her head, and her reply was barely audible. “Another year or two.”

  “Well, we’ll just have to wait till you tell him, and go from there,” Wanda Nell said. She got up and held out a hand to Miranda. Her daughter stood and wrapped her arms around her. Wanda Nell hugged her back. She felt sorry for Miranda because she knew the girl was upset and afraid.

  “Do you think you can get ready for work?” Wanda Nell said. “Is your stomach settling down now?” If she didn’t get Miranda to go to work, the girl would just sit around moping at home all day.

  “I think so,” Miranda replied. She glanced at the clock mounted on the wall over the toilet. “But I’m going to be late. I need to clean up, and I haven’t got Lavon ready yet either.” She gave her mother a hopeful look.

  “You get yourself ready, and I’ll take care of Lavon,” Wanda Nell said, suppressing a sigh. The girl was too transparent, but she knew her mother would help. “You’ll make it on time.”

  Twenty minutes later, feeling like she was going to drop from fatigue, Wanda Nell stood in the doorway, watching as Miranda drove off to work. Lavon was strapped into his car seat in the back, and Wanda Nell could see him bouncing up and down.

  Wanda Nell shut and locked the door behind her. She leaned against it for a moment, her eyes closed. She pushed away from the door and walked down the hall to her bedroom.

  Juliet had gone back to her room and was using the computer, checking e-mail or whatever else it was she did on the darned thing. Wanda Nell was glad she was occupied with something, because she wasn’t ready to tell Juliet the news that she was going to be an aunt again.

  After setting her alarm and placing her ring on the nightstand, Wanda Nell climbed into bed and pulled the covers around her. She closed her eyes and willed sleep to come. She didn’t want to think about Miranda or the murder or Lisa or anything. She just wanted to sleep.

  Sleep wouldn’t come, though, and she felt like hitting herself on the head with a hammer to knock herself out. She was desperate for rest, but all she could think about was Miranda being pregnant again.

  What were they going to do? She didn’t want another person to have to take care of. Maybe that was selfish, but she couldn’t help it. She would have to tell Jack right away. All she could think about was how this pregnancy might make her have to postpone her own wedding. Jack might be pretty upset over that, and she couldn’t really blame him.

  What if Teddy decided he didn’t want to be a father? Miranda would be heartbroken if he dumped her, and Lavon would miss him, too. In her heart of hearts, Wanda Nell believed that Teddy wouldn’t behave like that. If he did, well, it wouldn’t be the first time a man had let her or Miranda down.

  Would Teddy want to go ahead and marry Miranda right away? That might be the best thing, but Wanda Nell wasn’t sure Miranda was really ready to be a wife. Getting married with a baby on the way could put a big strain on a marriage. Wanda Nell knew that much from her own experience.

  But if Miranda and Teddy get married, said a little voice in her head, then someone else will have to take care of her. You won’t have to anymore.

  Wanda Nell felt ashamed at wanting to shift the burden onto someone else. You can’t still be taking care of Miranda when she’s forty years old, said that same voice. She’s eighteen, and it’s time she was someone else’s responsibility if she’s not going to look after herself.

  “Oh hush,” Wanda Nell said. She turned over in bed and tried to get comfortable. All this worrying about what might happen would drive her crazy if she let it. She would take one step at a time, and whatever would be, would be.

  At times like this Wanda Nell really missed her own mother. Her mama had always been so calm and so strong, no matter what happened. She knew how her mama felt when she broke the news of her own pregnancy nearly twenty-four years ago. Mama had never said a bad word to her, though. She had coped, and that was what Wanda Nell would do. No matter what, she would cope. There were no easy answers, whichever way she looked.

  Comforted by thoughts of her mother, Wanda Nell at last was able to drift off to sleep.

  She slept soundly until her alarm roused her at four-thirty. Yawning, she sat up and fumbled for the alarm. Once the insistent beeping ended, she sat on the side of the bed for a moment, trying to wake up. She felt better for the sound sleep, but she decided she sure would like to go to bed for another couple of hours.

  She stood up and stretched. She felt a little stiff, but a hot shower would soon limber her up.

  By five o’clock she had showered, done her makeup and hair, and dressed, not forgetting her engagement ring. She picked it up, still amazed by the fact of it. She slid it on her finger and smiled.

  Now that she had rested, she felt less pessimistic about Miranda’s situation. For once, she decided, she was going to believe things would work out in a good way. Her engagement ring would be her good luck charm.

  Juliet was in the living room watching TV. She
turned the volume down when her mother entered the room. “Did you sleep well, Mama?”

  “I did,” Wanda Nell said. “How are you feeling, sweetie?”

  “Just fine,” Juliet said. “I’m sure I’ll feel like going back to school tomorrow.”

  “Okay,” Wanda Nell said, smiling. “You’re probably right, but I still want to be sure before you do go back.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Juliet said. “I’m going to call Jennalee in a little while to find out about homework and stuff. I promise I won’t talk too long.”

  “That’s fine, sweetie. I think I’m going to have a little something to eat,” Wanda Nell said. “Miranda ought to be home soon, or at least she had better be. I don’t want to be late to work.”

  While Wanda Nell was making herself a ham sandwich, she heard a car pull up outside. Peering out the window over the sink, she saw her little red Cavalier in its parking space. Miranda got out of the car and opened the back door. She freed Lavon from his car seat and set him on the ground. He immediately headed for the steps up to the door of the trailer. They were shallow enough that he could easily climb up them.

  Miranda grabbed her purse from the car, along with Lavon’s bag, and she caught up with him before he reached the top step. She waited until he was patting his hand on the door—his way of knocking—before she gently pulled him back. Then she opened the door, and he clambered inside with his mother close behind.

  Wanda Nell brought her sandwich and a can of Diet Coke with her into the living room. She greeted Miranda and Lavon, who ran over and grabbed one of her legs and hugged it tight.

  Miranda dropped her purse and Lavon’s bag on the couch by Juliet. She pulled Lavon loose from his grandmother’s leg and picked him up. He laughed and chattered. Wanda Nell leaned over and kissed him, and he laughed some more. He really was a happy baby, and Wanda Nell was very thankful.

  “How was everything at work?” Wanda Nell asked.

  “Just fine,” Miranda said. She avoided her mother’s eye.

  “I’m going to finish this,” Wanda Nell said, brandishing her sandwich. “Then I’d better get on to work. Don’t forget about talking to Teddy.”

  “I won’t forget, Mama,” Miranda said. She still wouldn’t look her mother in the face.

  “Good,” Wanda Nell said. “Keep an eye on your sister. I think she’s pretty much over her sore throat, but make sure she takes her medicine.”

  “I will. Bye, Mama,” Miranda said, following her mother to the door. Wanda Nell heard the lock click behind her.

  She had put the car in gear and was about to back out of her parking space when her cell phone started ringing. Frowning, she put the car back in park and reached for her phone.

  She didn’t recognize the number. She punched the button and stuck the phone to her ear. “Hello.”

  “Wanda Nell, is that you?” A woman’s voice, sounding a bit harried, spoke in her ear.

  “Yes, it is,” Wanda Nell said. She thought she recognized the voice. “Is that you, Luann?

  “Yep, it is,” her coworker at Budget Mart said. “I’m so glad I caught you. Listen, I need to ask you a favor.”

  “Sure, go ahead,” Wanda Nell said.

  “Can you swap shifts with me tonight? I can work for you tonight if you’ll work for me tomorrow night. See, the thing is, my mama is having surgery over in Greenwood tomorrow, and I want to be able to stay at the hospital tomorrow night with her. Mr. Higgins said it was okay with him as long as it was okay with you.”

  “Sure, Luann,” Wanda Nell said. “I’ll be glad to swap with you. I’m sorry about your mama, though. Is it something serious?” Luann was several years older than she was, and Wanda Nell figured Luann’s mother had to be in her seventies.

  “It’s a hip replacement,” Luann said. “The doctor says she’ll be just fine, but I want to be there in case she needs anything. You know how it is.”

  “I sure do,” Wanda Nell said, recalling the times she had spent in the hospital with her own mother. “You don’t worry about a thing. It’s not a problem at all.”

  “Thanks, Wanda Nell, I’ll owe you one,” Luann said. “Bye.”

  Wanda Nell ended the call and dropped the phone back into her purse. Once again she put the car in gear and headed out.

  Not having to go to Budget Mart tonight was an unexpected bonus. Maybe if they weren’t too busy at the Kountry Kitchen tonight, she could leave there a little early. She knew Mayrene was dying to hear more about Bill Warren, and this would be a good time for them to talk. She also wanted to get Mayrene’s advice on talking to Jack about Lisa. Her stomach started knotting up every time she thought about that, but she knew she’d have to face up to it, and soon.

  Business was slow at the restaurant when she arrived, but it started picking up around six-thirty. For once, Wanda Nell was hoping Jack wouldn’t come by for dinner. She didn’t think she could face him without telling him about his cousin, and she wasn’t quite ready to do that. He knew her so well by now, he would realize something was bothering her, and she hated not confiding in him.

  To her relief, he didn’t come. He did call, however, and they spoke briefly. He had a lot of papers to grade, and he was keeping an eye on Lisa. She had decided not to stay at Mayrene’s any longer, so Jack was letting her stay with him. Wanda Nell didn’t say anything, and thankfully Jack didn’t notice her silence on the subject.

  T.J. and Tuck turned up around seven, and Wanda Nell was glad to see them. She showed them to a table in the back room, and she decided she had time to sit down for a minute with them.

  “I’ll get you something to drink in a minute,” she said. “First, any news?”

  “Not a lot,” Tuck said. “We did talk to Elmer Lee, and I also passed along the information you gave me from Mayrene.”

  “What did he say?” Wanda Nell asked.

  “Not much,” T.J. replied. “He’s interested, but you know how the sheriff is.” He grinned. “He doesn’t like anybody knowing what he’s really up to.”

  Wanda Nell sighed. “Yeah, I know. We’ll just have to trust him to do what’s right.”

  “I’m sure he will,” Tuck said. “He really is a good guy, you know.”

  “As much as I hate to admit it, you’re right.” Wanda Nell laughed. “But don’t you dare tell him I said that.”

  “I won’t,” Tuck promised. “Can you come by the office some time tomorrow morning?”

  “Yeah,” Wanda Nell said. “What time?”

  “How about nine? Is that too early?”

  “No, it’s fine,” Wanda Nell said. “I’ll take Miranda to work and drop Lavon off at day care, and then I’ll be by your office.”

  “Good,” Tuck said. “I want you to take a look at that list of men who were at the party. I want to be sure we’re covering every angle we can.”

  “Sounds like a good idea to me,” Wanda Nell said. She stood up. “Okay, boys, what will it be? Can I interest you in something fried, with lots of gravy?” She grinned.

  T.J. made a point of shuddering. “Now, Mama, you know we can’t eat that kind of stuff and not be as big as the side of a barn.”

  “Speak for yourself,” Tuck said, poking a finger in T.J.’s side. “Just because you don’t like to get up in the morning and work out as much as I do, don’t blame your mother.”

  T.J. rolled his eyes at his mother, as if to say, “See what I have to put up with?”

  Wanda Nell sometimes still had odd feelings, thinking of the two of them as a couple. But when she saw the way they looked at each other, she realized it didn’t matter.

  “Okay, Tuck, you’re doing the big talking,” she said. “Does that mean you want chicken-fried steak?”

  Tuck laughed. “I do, but I know if I order it, T.J. will rub it in for a week. No, I’ll have a steak, medium well, with baked potato, green beans, and salad.”

  “Me too, Mama,” T.J. said.

  “Next time I’m not even going to ask,” Wanda Nell said, shaking her hea
d. “I’ll be back in a minute with some tea and water.”

  After that, Wanda Nell didn’t have much time to chat. She and Ruby stayed pretty busy until around eight-thirty, when business really slacked off. By nine, the restaurant was empty except for the staff.

  “Go home,” Melvin said to her and Ruby. “It’s going to be dead until ten, and there’s no sense in you hanging around.”

  “Good,” Wanda Nell said. “I can use the break, since I don’t have to go to Budget Mart tonight.”

  “Thank you, Melvin,” Ruby said. “I’ve got a big test in the morning, and I can use the study time.” Ruby was taking courses at the community college, and she took her studies very seriously.

  “The side work’s done,” Wanda Nell said, “so everything is set for the morning crew.”

  Fifteen minutes later, she was pulling her car into its covered space beside her trailer. Mayrene’s lights were on, and Wanda Nell was glad to see them. Mayrene might very well have had a date with her cop tonight, but Wanda Nell really wanted to talk to her.

  She knocked on Mayrene’s door, and Mayrene answered it right away. “Hey, girl, what are you doing home? Is Juliet sick again?”

  “No, she’s fine, far as I know,” Wanda Nell said. “Melvin let us go early, and I swapped nights with one of my coworkers, so I don’t have to go in tonight.”

  “Well, come on in then, and let’s talk,” Mayrene said.

  “I was hoping you’d say that,” Wanda Nell said, “but let me just pop my head in at home and make sure everybody’s okay.”

  “Sure, just come on back when you’re ready,” Mayrene said. “I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

  Wanda Nell crossed over to her trailer and unlocked the door. Juliet, Miranda, and Lavon were watching TV. She explained why she was home early, and after finding out they were fine, she told them she would be over at Mayrene’s for a little while.

  “Okay, Mama,” Miranda said. “I’m going to put Lavon to bed in a few minutes.”

  “Good,” Wanda Nell said. “And if you’re still up, maybe we can talk for a few minutes?”