Breathing For The First Time

by Mary E Thompson

  “Okay. I know how important this is to you. I’ll be a good sport about it.” I give in, but don’t bother to keep the irritation from my voice.

  Paige doesn’t notice because she’s too busy squealing in my ear. I pull the phone away from my head, but not before my ear drum protests the intrusion. I smile in spite of the pain, knowing this is probably the biggest thing weighing on her at this point. It’ll be fine. I know it.

  *******

  What was I thinking? I must have been drunk when Paige convinced me to share a room with a complete stranger for five days. Too late now.

  Paige and Dante were supposed to wait for me in the terminal, but they ended up with priority boarding because of the wedding. All their guests were given the same, so they all went on without me. My flight was late landing in Miami so I’m stuck boarding with all the other passengers, surrounded by happy travelers in pairs and groups. And then there’s me, alone and looking pretty sad.

  I finally make it through the check-in process and board the ship. I want to go find my room, drop off my bag, and find my friends. A rest wouldn’t be so bad either, but I’m not sure I’ll get the chance today.

  I climb the stairs to the Verandah deck to my room. I find my room easily, but the door is closed. That means Craig is either inside or has the keys and left the room. I am not prepared for an introduction right now.

  I knock on the door anyway, part of me hoping he’s there so I can get in the room and part of me hoping he’s not. After a minute, I realize it doesn’t matter what I want, he’s not here. I pull my phone out of my pocket and call Paige. Hopefully Craig is with her and I can get into my room.

  Paige doesn’t answer. Her voicemail clicks in saying she’s away getting married and that she’ll return calls when she gets home. Maybe Brooke will answer me.

  Brooke Jeffries is the third part of our trio. We met in college at University of South Carolina - that’s USC to us, or just Carolina. We stayed close friends throughout our four years and have been there for each other since. Last summer Brooke had a meltdown when she found out her boyfriend got his ex-girlfriend pregnant (don’t get me started) and came to visit me. Brooke and I were there for Paige when she was flipping out over Dante the year before. And now we’re all here for the wedding.

  I’m really excited to see my friends. After graduation, I moved back home to Buffalo, New York. I missed my family and wanted to experience four seasons again. I’ve been home for 18 months, and a part of me misses South Carolina. I also miss college life, but I know there’s no going back.

  Brooke is still in college, getting her master’s in psychology. She and Tyler, her boyfriend (yeah, she stayed with him after the pregnancy thing, long story), are in school together. They graduate this spring and are planning to move to Charleston, near Paige and Dante.

  Brooke is great, and despite the whole pregnancy thing, she and Tyler are perfect together. He is really good to her and she adores him. My first impression of Tyler was anything but good, but he’s shown that he’s really a great guy and that he deserves to be loved by a woman like Brooke.

  In some ways, I’m jealous of my best friends. I’ve never felt that having a man in my life would bring it any sort of meaning, but I’ve also never been in love. I tried a few times, but it wasn’t ever right. And now my two best friends are basically settled, and there’s single me, stuck in a room for five days with a stranger.

  Brooke’s phone rings and I wait for her to answer. A wash of relief comes over me when I hear, “Hi, Tiff! Where are you?”

  I hear Tyler’s voice in the background, telling her to tell me to get over there. “I’m outside my room. I can’t get in because no one is here and the door is locked. Are you with Paige? I need to find Craig.”

  Brooke fills Tyler in on what’s going on and tells me they’ll be right here.

  I drop my bags to the floor and lean against the wall next to my door. I hear Brooke laughing before she rounds the corner. She runs to me, her long blonde hair bouncing with each step, and pulls me into a tight hug while Tyler crosses the distance to our sides. When Brooke lets go Tyler drops a kiss on my cheek and we say hello.

  Brooke produces a key and hands it to me. I slide the card in the door and hear the click of the lock releasing. I look to Brooke and Tyler. Brooke says, “We came onboard with Craig and he gave me the extra key. He said you’ve never met and wouldn’t know who he was, but figured you’d call me. I guess he was right.”

  I push into the room and Brooke and Tyler follow me in. I see a black backpack on the floor next to the closet, but no other sign that anyone has been here. Brooke drops to one of the beds while I look through the room.

  This suite is similar to the one Brooke, Paige, and I shared on our last cruise. We went away for spring break last year, almost ten months ago. The suite is amazing. Each bed is covered in a fluffy white tufted comforter, crisp white sheets, and endless white pillows. The towels in the bathroom are the same crisp white and the matching bathrobes look as comfortable as the bed.

  I cross the soft blue carpet to the balcony and open the door. I step out onto it and let the breeze of the ocean pass over me. We haven’t left the dock yet, but we’re on the outside of the port, away from the dock, and the ocean breeze is so refreshing.

  I turn back and Brooke bounces on the bed. “You should take this one, it’s comfy.”

  The corner of my mouth turns up and I consider my options. I’ve lived alone for 18 months, but I still don’t like to sleep next to the door. Taking the bed Brooke is bouncing on would mean I’m closer to the door. If I take the other bed, I’ll be closer to the balcony, which could be nice, especially if we ever leave the door open at night.

  “I think I’ll take the one near the balcony, bounce on this one a few times and see if it passes the butt test.” I tell her. Brooke laughs at me, but tries the bed out.

  Tyler watches us, his eyes following Brooke. The amusement is clear on his face, and he absorbs the scene in front of him. Brooke looks at me and gives me approval for the second bed and I smile at her. Tyler shakes his head, but smiles when Brooke meets his eyes.

  This is going to be a lonely trip.

  I follow Brooke and Tyler from the room back to the pool where they agreed to meet Paige and Dante after the wedding arrangements were set. Brooke pulls her cover-up dress over her head and drops in on a chair. Tyler strips his t-shirt off and follows her to the pool. I slip my dress off to reveal my wasabi green tankini.

  I settle into my chair and watch Brooke and Tyler in the pool. She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him sweetly. Their faces are millimeters apart, but I can tell they’re talking. The smile on Brooke’s face makes me wonder what the conversation is about, but very happy I decided to stay here instead of getting in the pool with them.

  My eyes shut against the blinding light and the endless sea of couples. Why am I starting to feel like something is missing? I’m happy with my life. There isn’t anything missing, except someone to share it with.

  When I went home after graduation, I was so happy to be with my family. My three brothers, Tom, Tim, and Travis, are all still living at home with mom and dad. I got my own apartment, but it was nice to be around them all. I love having them around, having people to spend time with. And I still have my friends from high school, and my new teacher friends.

  But none of it feels the same as being with Brooke and Paige. Being with them is like having sisters. Paige is the only one of us who actually has sisters, but we all agreed our friendship is like that, but better since we choose to be friends. I love them, and I’d do anything for my friends. It’s getting hard to relate to them though as they get more and more involved in their relationships. Now Paige is getting married, and I’m sure Brooke isn’t far behind. I’ll be alone, in a whole new way.

  I hear Paige’s voice before I open my eyes. She and Dante are talking about something with the wedding, but I’m not sure what. Then I hear the third voice. I guess it’s ti
me to meet my roommate.

  I look around and see Paige and Dante coming toward me. Paige is adorable as ever in her white cotton dress, but the tie of her lavender bikini top is sticking out. Her long brown hair is dangling down her back, loose and free. The expression on her face is the same, and I’m happy I came on this trip. This cruise will be great for my friends.

  I stand up and wrap Paige in a hug. She’s beaming like the blushing bride she is. Dante leans in for a hug when Paige lets go of me. Paige catches me up quickly on the wedding arrangements. She says the cruise ship has it all organized, but if she needs someone to take care of anything, she asked them to get in touch with me.

  A part of me wants to feel annoyed that she offered me up without asking first. In reality, I’m thrilled that she trusts me and values my opinion and assistance so much. It’s refreshing to know someone needs me.

  “Oh,” Paige gasps, “I completely forgot. Tiffany, this is Craig.” She gestures toward the man standing next to Dante. I didn’t even notice him until now. He turns when he hears his name and I’m met with green eyes that match my bathing suit. His blonde hair is cut close enough to make me wonder if he’s in the military.

  My eyes travel down his body, taking in my new roommate. He’s definitely attractive, but he’s not at all my type. If it turns out he is in the military, it will be a big step up from the frat boy he looks like. I look back up to his face and notice him watching me. A sly smile is on his lips, letting me know he appreciates that I’m checking him out.

  What a jerk! He actually thinks I like him. And here I’m thinking he looks like exactly the guy he’s acting like. Well, this trip just got worse.