He shook my hand after he told me what the plan was and walked off to his next patient.
Styx stood next to me with a clenched jaw as I ran a hand through my hair.
“It’s not good, is it?” I asked him.
He couldn’t meet my eyes.
“What are we going to tell the cops? You know they’re waiting. I held them off for now, but they want some type of statement.” Styx crossed him arms, then met my worried gaze. I could read the frustration in his eyes.
“We tell them the same thing we told the doc. He got jumped, robbed, and we found him like this. We have no clue who did it, and that’s not a lie. But I want Radar on this shit. He may not be the computer genius Check is, but he has skills. I want to know who the fuck did this.” Propping my hands on my hips, I inhaled deeply.
“You think it could be the Vagabonds?” He spoke quietly after looking around.
“I wouldn’t like to think so. Sparky was pretty pissed when he found out about the shit Rebound was pulling. It made him look bad. Which makes me wonder if maybe it’s Rebound—going rogue.” My nostrils flared in anger.
“So help me God, if it is, I’m gonna finish what I started with him,” he ground out.
“We’ll get our answers. Hopefully sooner, rather than later.”
“I’ll go let the brothers know what’s going on, then I’ll call his parents. Even though he’s not going to be visiting with anyone, once he gets a room we can take turns going to see him. Then one of us can stay with him.” Styx gave my shoulder a squeeze as he walked toward the waiting room.
It seemed to take forever before they had him settled in a room. The guys all took turns coming in to give him encouraging words. His mom was by the bedside crying, his dad paced the hall. Through it all, he slept. Well, it wasn’t really sleep when he was in a coma, but it was easier to accept if I thought of it as sleep.
“Fuck, he doesn’t even look like Check. If it wasn’t for the tats, I’d say it was some other poor bastard,” Radar said as he and Truth stood in the ICU waiting room with me. Styx and his ol’ lady, Gwen, had gone in to spend a few minutes with Check. They were the last to go in to see him.
“He has so much swelling and bruising, it’s not even funny. When will he be having surgery?” Radar questioned.
“Doc said after some of the swelling goes down.” I sighed. He had several broken facial bones that he’d need surgery on. “Truth, I want you to stay with him tonight. I need to go home to check on Mattie, or I’d stay.”
It was getting late, and I was fucking beat.
“You don’t need to be staying, Prez. That’s our job. You go be with your daughter, and we’ll keep you updated,” Truth said as he scrubbed his face with his hand.
“Radar, I need you to start looking into shit. I want the camera footage from the parking lot cameras, and I want any other footage you can tap into. If you have to call in favors or get in touch with Hacker, then that’s what I need you to do.” Radar nodded. Styx came out holding Gwen’s hand as I finished talking. Her eyes were red and she was sniveling.
“Who would do something like that? He looks awful. I can’t believe he survived that.” She wiped an escaped tear and buried herself in Styx’s chest.
“People are fucked-up, babe,” he said into her hair. He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. “Let’s head home. You need me for anything before I go?” he asked me.
“No, thank you for everything you did. Was Shannon okay?”
“As okay as she can be. Gary is taking her home soon. There’s nothing she can do staying here, and he didn’t want her worrying every time an alarm went off. She’d been a mess every time anything didn’t look right.” Styx looked upset and helpless that there was nothing he could do.
“Thanks, bro. Y’all go on home.” Exhaustion was evident on all of our faces. Styx nodded, Gwen broke free and gave us each a big hug. The girl was too fucking sweet for Styx’s burly ass, but I liked her.
“Be careful,” she said before they started down the hall toward the elevators.
“All right. I’m going in to make myself comfortable on the pull-out bed. See you tomorrow.” Truth gave me and Radar both a hug before going back into the dim room. The steady beeping of all the damn machines told me he was still with us. Gary was gathering a sobbing Shannon to take her home.
Radar and I left and walked to the SUV. His bike was parked next to it.
“I’m going to make some calls. I’ll let you know as soon as I have anything. Okay?” he assured me. I nodded.
We pulled out of the lot at the same time, but headed in different directions.
The trip was a blur, and with a dragging ass, I entered my home. Resetting the alarm, I kicked off my boots. The house was quiet, and the lights were all off except the one over the stove.
It was a little early for my teenage daughter to be in bed, but then again, it had been a hectic day. I’d texted her periodically, and she’d been understanding. Then again, she’d lived this life with me for many years. She knew the unpredictability of it.
Before I went to bed, I peeked into her room to check on her. Raiven had dropped her off before she met up with Lock at the hospital. Seeing Check like that wasn’t something I wanted Mattie to experience.
I was a little surprised to see she was sound asleep with her hair spread across her pillow.
My heart ached every time I studied her. It was like seeing Anna walking around the house. At times, it was unnerving.
Closing her door quietly, I was hit with loneliness. Every so often it was unbearable. Having to be the stoic and strong one for the club could be exhausting. Not that I had time in my life for a relationship, but there were times when it would be nice to have someone to lean on.
Those thoughts had me thinking of Nova. I’d been trying to shove thoughts of her to the back of my mind. That night, I blamed my inability to do it on high emotions and exhaustion.
As I passed the kitchen, I pulled down a bottle of whiskey and poured a shot. The burn of it going down my throat was a welcome distraction from the pain in my chest. Two more went down easier. Putting it back in the cupboard, I shuffled to my room.
Emptying my pockets onto my dresser, I stared at my phone.
Swallowing hard, I picked it up and squeezed it in my palm. She hadn’t called or texted me since I’d left this morning, but I hadn’t contacted her either. It would be stupid to lead her on, but the lure of her familiarity was strong. She was a tether to the past that could be both good and bad.
She also wanted something from me that I couldn’t give her. Well, I technically could, but I wouldn’t. That had me wondering why she was in the position she was in. Something didn’t add up with her rationale.
I’d meant to have Check look into it for me. That was on hold indefinitely now.
Too much shit was swirling in my mind. It had my head pounding. That’s what I blamed for my thumbs flying across the screen.
Me: Sorry I haven’t reached out since I left. Some crazy shit went down. Thinking about you n wanting to make sure ur okay
Honestly, I didn’t expect a response. It was kind of late and she likely worked Monday morning. She was probably long since in bed. So when the flashing dots appeared after my text, my heart sped up.
Nova: Hey
Nova: No worries. You okay? Mattie okay? You need me?
Fuck. Did I need her, she asked? More than was healthy, I realized. But I didn’t know if it was wise to admit that. Tentacles of need stretched from me, flying in her direction. It was as if my soul was being jerked from my body.
Shaking off the unnerving feeling, I replied.
Me: Not much you can do, but thanks
Nova: I can come over if you need me to
Nova: Just to talk. Or listen. Figured I should clarify that
Despite everything, I huffed out a laugh. Her last text had me wondering if she was saying that for my benefit or hers.
Me: Figured you were sleeping
&
nbsp; Nova: Not even close. Can’t sleep
Me: Don’t you work tomorrow?
Nova: Yes, but my first appt isn’t until 10. So do you need me 2 come over?
Though I knew what I should reply with, once again there was a disconnect between my brain and my fingers.
Me: Yes
No! Delete, delete, delete. But it was too late, because I’d sent the fucking message as soon as I typed it.
Nova: address?
Hesitating for only a second, my fingers flew across the screen and sent her my address. Stupid, but in the back of my mind I craved a connection. For once in sixteen years, I was admitting to myself that I needed another adult desperately.
Nova: I’ll be right there
Dropping my phone to the counter as I passed, I made my way to the fridge. The sound of the door opening was loud in the quiet house, and the light was damn near blinding. I pulled out a beer, popped the top, and took a long pull. The bitterness of the brew was oddly soothing.
I’d gotten lost in my thoughts so deeply that the light knock on the door startled me. Finishing the beer, I tossed the bottle in the trash and went to the door.
Nova’s golden hair was piled on her head. She stood with her back to the door and I could see through the textured glass panes that she was worked up. Rocking from one foot to the other, she held her arms tight around her body. A body that I’d fucked the hell out of less than twenty-four hours ago.
Disabling the alarm long enough to let her in, I swung the door open as she spun to face me.
“Grayson. What happened?” She didn’t wait for me to answer before she was brushing past me. Watching her as I closed the door and reset the alarm, I absorbed the calm that washed over me. Her proximity did that to me. Then again, she’d always had the ability to settle me. Anna had always said she was a naturally calming presence. I’d never really understood what she meant by that until that moment.
She glanced my way, and I shrugged. It made me feel bad that I’d had her come over, because I wasn’t quite ready to talk. My gaze followed her as she wandered around my living room. Her naturally inquisitive soul studied my pictures on the wall, my choice of furniture, everything. It left me with an odd feeling of hoping she liked my home—of wanting to please her.
Finally satisfied with her perusal, she spun to face me. “Is Mattie home? I’d love to see her. I mean, if that’s okay.”
“Well, if she wasn’t sleeping, I’d say it wouldn’t be a problem.” My voice rumbled through the silent house.
Her head tipped and her eyes narrowed. Suddenly nervous under her scrutiny, I shuffled to the kitchen and grabbed another beer. “You want one?” I asked as I held it up over the top of the door.
“No, thank you. I drove, so I should probably have water.”
I grabbed a bottle and handed it to her. Our fingers brushed, and a wave of desire shot through me, straight to my dick. It had me clearing my throat nervously, hoping she didn’t notice. “Thanks for coming over. It’s nice to have an adult here to talk to.”
She sat on the couch, took a sip of the water, and then set it down on the coffee table. Of course she used a coaster. Probably better than I would’ve done.
Like a Siren, she called to me, and I sat next to her. It wasn’t like she was dressed seductively. She had running shorts and a ratty tank top on, but she was beautiful. As I took another long swallow of the beer, I trailed my eyes over her face and down her body.
This was a bad idea—bringing her to my home. We’d already made one mistake by sleeping together because now I really couldn’t get her out of my head. The alcohol was starting to heat my veins, and it wasn’t helping.
I finished the beer off, set it next to her bottle, and dropped my head to the back of the couch. The touch of her fingertips on my arm made me jump at the bolt of electricity that surged through me.
Gently, she guided me until my head rested in her lap like a child’s. Crazy as it may sound, I let her. Because for once, it felt really fucking good to have someone take care of me.
“Whatever it is, I’m here for you,” she whispered as her fingers combed through my hair over and over. I shouldn’t let her continue, but I didn’t want her to stop.
It didn’t matter how many times I told myself she was only my friend and last night was a mistake, I couldn’t get past the truth. Though she was a complication I didn’t need, I wanted her there. In my home, in my life, in my bed.
“Casual Sex”—My Darkest Days
There was no explanation as to why I was torturing myself this way. He’d made it clear where he stood. He didn’t want a relationship. Of course, I’d said I didn’t either. Mostly because after several horribly failed relationships, I’d resigned myself to being alone—well, hopefully a single parent—and convinced myself I could be happy with that.
Except I was lonely. Gordie and I had split over three months ago, and I’d been fine without him. But a part of me missed having someone to share things with.
Absently, I continued to finger-comb through Grayson’s thick, dark hair. He was obviously distressed, but he hadn’t said a word. Though hesitant to disrupt the easy silence, I wanted to be his sounding board if he needed one. Once upon a time, we’d been great friends.
Life choices and grief had sent us in different directions. But life had made our paths cross again. It made me wonder if Toby hadn’t been onto something when he mentioned fate. Shaking those thoughts off, I sighed. There was no sense in letting my mind go there.
“Grayson? Do you want to talk about it?”
He was quiet for so long, I didn’t think he was going to answer, and I wondered if he was asleep. When he answered, my breath caught.
“One of my brothers got jumped. He’s in a coma.”
“Oh my God! Is he going to be okay?” Shock rippled through me at his revelation and for a moment, my hand froze in his hair. It was an awful thing to happen to someone.
“Not sure yet. He took one hell of a beating. He’s just a kid. It’s fucking with my head,” he murmured into my thigh. With each word spoken, a soft puff of his breath blew across my skin. It sent chills racing through me.
“I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?”
“No. I appreciate you being here. That’s enough. It’s hard having to be the one that’s always strong for everyone. This, you dropping everything to come over, feels amazing, but leaves me feeling a little pussy-ish.” He chuckled a little as he turned his head, pressing his face into my thigh.
I didn’t think he realized how close his face was to my girly bits. My breath stuttered and a shiver shook my shoulders before skating down my body in chills.
In that moment, I might’ve eagerly stripped naked and jumped him, if he’d asked. It was like being thrown back to my childhood where I’d hung on his every word. On one hand, praying no one noticed my hopeless crush. On the other, wishing it had been me he’d fallen for instead of my best friend. Something that had left me feeling guilty as hell when she’d been killed.
When he kissed my heated skin, I sucked in air like I was suffocating. “Grayson, what are you doing?” I rasped. He was literally driving me insane.
“I didn’t realize how much I’d missed you until you showed up in my office. We’d been the Three Musketeers. Inseparable. All for one and all that crap. Then Anna died and everything in my life went to hell. I pushed everyone away except for Mattie. Even closed myself off from my parents for a while.” He paused. “I’m sorry.”
One callused hand slipped under my thigh, and his thick fingers wrapped around the flesh of my inner leg.
“Um, you may want to move your hand.” I gasped despite trying to sound light and teasing. Except instead of moving it down, he slid it further up until the edge of his hand was inside my shorts and grazed the edge of my silk-covered va-jay-jay.
Oh sweet Jesus.
“Grayson,” I tried again.
“Nova,” he rumbled. Then his fingers pulled my shorts over to the side an
d he moved until his face pressed between my legs.
Though I really wanted to let him have his way, this time I was dead sober and he’d been drinking. Sure, I was far from drunk by the time we’d gotten back to my house, but I had no idea how much he’d had before I got there. Granted, he didn’t seem drunk by any means, but he still may not be thinking clearly.
Grabbing his hair, I pulled him back. “Grayson! I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I think it’s a fabulous idea,” he grumbled. He tried to pull free to put his face back where it was.
Clumsily, I scooted out from under him to the end of the couch. “What are you doing? You’re the one that said we complicated things last night. I think maybe we just need to be friends and leave it at that. Last night was a mistake.”
He lay there looking over at me. A disbelieving chuckle escaped him. “I think it’s a little late for that. And I think it was far from a mistake.”
“Grayson, you said you didn’t have time or the desire for a relationship. You also said you don’t want to be my clinical baby daddy. So the only thing left is friendship or nothing.”
He sat up straight.
“Are you fucking serious? You’re goddamn right I’m not going into some clinic and jacking my shit, then handing over a cup of spooge. Babe, what the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Hell, I don’t know. I just wanted my baby to have a great person as their sperm donor.”
“A sperm donor? What the actual fuck?” His temper finally snapped, and he jerked me over until I was straddling his lap.
“If you want my sperm, you’re going to get it the old-fashioned way,” he growled as he raised his hips to grind against me.
“Wait, so you’re willing to impregnate me?” I reared my head back to look at him in disbelief.
“Impregnate you?” He snorted out a laugh. “Um, that’s a big hell no. I’m not going to fuck you, knock you up, and walk away. But we’re grown adults. I was more implying that you’d be pulling my sperm from me the old-fashioned way.” He grinned, then looked a little confused for a second.
Smoke and Mirrors: A Demented Sons MC Texas Novel Page 8
