“Maybe I didn’t need that last beer,” he muttered then shook his head. “What’s wrong with us having casual sex?”
Incredulous at his proposition, my mouth dropped open. “Are you actually suggesting a friends with benefits arrangement?”
“Like that’s any crazier than you wanting to use my jizz to give you a baby.”
The direction of our conversation was making my body respond in ways it shouldn’t. The throb of his thick length under me wasn’t helping.
If I went through with what he suggested, I’d never come out of it intact. There was no way I could simply have casual sex with Grayson Adams. It was unthinkable. It would be emotional suicide. My heart would never survive. Last night was bad enough and couldn’t be repeated if I wanted to retain my sanity.
He framed my face with his hands, his light green eyes boring into me. “Are we not adults?”
“Of course we are.”
“Was last night not good for you?”
“Oh my God. Of course it was. Don’t be ridiculous.” I tried to laugh it off as I jumped off his lap and paced, but it came out shaky and artificial.
Like a jungle cat, he stalked gracefully toward me. Nervous, I moved backward. He continued to move forward until I was against the wall.
His fingers feathered along my collarbone, then up my neck until his hand cradled my jaw. He dragged his soft lips over mine without actually kissing me, then followed my jawline to my ear. The entire time, I fought to keep my breathing even and my hands at my sides.
“Can you tell me you don’t want me?” His whispered words tickled across my ear, sending a shiver of desire through me.
“Why are you doing this?” I whimpered.
“Answer the question,” he said as he teased my skin with his lips.
My body shuddered, and between my legs throbbed and clenched. “I can’t.”
“You can’t answer, or you can’t tell me you don’t want me?” His free hand gripped my hip, pulling me against his very obvious erection.
“Fuck,” I whispered on an exhale.
“Yes. I’d love to.” He darkly chuckled. “Do you see what you do to me? You barged back into my life looking the way you do. All these curves and screaming desire. Do you even know what a vixen you are? The insane cravings you’ve stirred in me? No matter how many times I tell myself it’s wrong, I can’t get you out of my head. Last night was inexplicably the best night I’ve had in years.” His hand on my jaw tipped my head, and he waged war on my heart with his kiss.
The hands I’d tried to keep at my sides snuck up to grab his shirt. Holding on for dear life, I returned his bruising kiss.
Groaning, he pulled back. “Stay.”
Knowing it was a mistake, I still breathed, “Yes.”
Not allowing me to change my mind, he lifted me until I wrapped my legs around him. I didn’t pay attention to where we went, but I knew we were in his bedroom when he laid me on the bed and crawled over the top of me.
Following the path of his lips, he removed my clothes and worshipped my body, pulling two orgasms from me with his skilled hands and mouth. He undressed himself as I was coming down from the last explosion.
Desperately, I wanted to return the favor. Feeling brazen, I jumped up and pushed him down on the bed, grabbing his cock in my hand. He was so thick, my fingertips barely touched as I wrapped them around him and stroked a couple of times.
Licking the clear bead of precum off the tip, I savored it and drew him as deep as I could. He groaned and grabbed my hair. “Fuuuuck!” he moaned.
Using my other hand to cup his balls where they’d drawn up tight to his body, I fought the ache in my jaw. He jerked and hissed.
“Goddamn it, Nova. I’m going to come. You need to stop.” He tried to pull me back, and I grunted around his cock, telling him that wasn’t going to happen.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck” burst from him like a litany as the first hot spurt hit the back of my throat. My movements became shallower and the next one painted my tongue. Showing him no mercy, I sucked until he was shuddering and jerking free from my mouth.
“Fucking hell,” he whispered.
Incredibly satisfied with my work, I lay back on the pillows and played with myself as he stared. His chest heaved with each heavy breath, and he began to stroke himself as he watched me.
It took an amazingly short time before he’d recovered and was hard again.
He rummaged for the condom, and in a rush to get it on, he struggled briefly. Finally, he grabbed his thick length in one hand and rolled it down.
Despite what had transpired already, a small voice deep inside me tried to make me see reason, but I shushed it. Regardless of my protests, if this was all I’d ever have of Grayson Adams, I’d take it.
He lined up and pushed the tip in. When he thrust inside my waiting depths, I dug my nails into his shoulders on a sigh. There would be time for regrets later.
“God, you feel so fucking good,” he gasped as he powered into me. “So. Fucking. Good.” Each word was punctuated by a deep stroke.
Shamelessly, I dug my heels into him. “Yes. Fuck, Grayson, harder. Please,” I begged.
Without question, he accommodated my request. As he’d promised before, he didn’t make love, he fucked. Savage and wild.
And I reveled in it.
“Baby,” I heard break through my slumber. Suddenly wide awake, I tensed in the cradle of his body. His leg was between mine, and he used it to spread my legs further. When he entered me from behind, my eyes rolled back in my head, but my heart screamed as he moaned, “Oh God, Anna.”
Each movement was slow, loving, sensuous. His hand cupped my breast and he continued to move. The battle of wills that clashed in my mind was painful. Part of me knew I should wake him; the other part wanted this side of him to be for me. Tears coursed down my face as I clung to him, knowing I was so, so wrong. Allowing myself a few minutes to pretend, I relished the feel of him.
When he gave a deep thrust into my aching core, I exploded around his thick length. I’d planned to pull away after that, but he gripped my hip and held me in place as he pulsed into me.
His lips pressed to my shoulder, and he pulled me tight to his front. I lay there in shock until his hold softened and his breathing evened out.
The slippery feel of him sliding out was followed by the warm flow of his release from my body.
Oh, shit.
He’d been adamant that he didn’t want to get me pregnant, and yet he’d entered me bare in the middle of the night—seeking his dead wife. Like a fraud, I’d let him use me in her stead. Knowing I should’ve woken him, I fought the leaden weight that pushed on my chest. The heavy burden of guilt made it difficult to breathe.
Carefully, I extricated myself from his embrace.
Quietly, I searched for my clothes in the dark as he continued to leak from me. Tears flowed, making it even more difficult to see. I gave up on finding my panties after he started to rustle in the sheets.
My hands held out in front of me, I felt through the air for the door. After I finally found it, I cautiously turned the knob and stepped out into the hall. Thankfully, there was the barest hint of dawn streaming in through the living room windows to light my path.
When I got to the living room, I fixed my hair, then went in search of my keys and phone. Getting on my knees, I looked under the coffee table and the couch. I was sure I’d left them next to my bottle of water.
“Looking for these?”
I squealed as I jumped and my gaze met that of the ghost of my best friend.
Hand slammed to my chest to still my racing heart, I stared. Logically, I knew it wasn’t Anna. My head told me it was Mattie, but between what had happened in Grayson’s bedroom and the dim lighting, my heart was playing tricks on me.
“Umm, yes. Thank you.” Awkwardly, I stood and held out my hand for my belongings she held in her hand.
“Who are you and what are you doing here?” She glanced at the bottle of wate
r and empty beer bottle still sitting on the table. Then she looked back to me. “My dad never has women over.”
“Mattie, I can explain,” I started, sounding clichéd enough that I wanted to cringe.
“How do you know who I am? He talked to you about me?” she demanded as her eyes narrowed.
“I’m Nova. I knew your parents. Um, I used to babysit you when you were a baby.” It sounded so wrong to say I “knew” her parents. We’d been best friends.
“He’s never said anything about you. And it doesn’t explain why you’re in my house.” Mattie was obviously a shark when it came to her father. I was kind of glad. Then again, it also hurt my heart that he’d never mentioned me to her. Obviously, neither had his parents.
“I grew up next door to your dad. We were friends as kids. Then your mom became my best friend before she met your dad.” It was like being in front of the Spanish Inquisition. Defensively, I crossed my arms in front of my braless boobs. My own attitude came out at this teenager who was grilling me like I was a thief in the night.
“Wait. Are you the Supernova they talked about?” Her brow furrowed as she cocked her head and narrowed her eyes. I chuckled at the nickname Grayson and his family had given me way back when. I had no idea they still referred to me by that name.
“Geez, I didn’t know they still called me that.”
A beautiful grin spread over her face as she held my phone and keys out to me. With a raised brow, I took them.
“Oh, yeah. Grandma and Grandpa talked about you all the time.” She laughed. “I had no idea you lived here.”
“Actually, I just moved here from Houston a few weeks ago.” I sighed as I looked at how much she’d changed. “You’ve grown into a beautiful young woman. Your mom would’ve been so proud.”
“You really were friends with my mom?” The hope in her tone made my heart ache.
“Yeah. She was awesome.” It still didn’t seem real that she was gone, and it had been sixteen years. It broke my heart that the young girl in front of me had lived her whole life without knowing her mom.
She bit her lip and shot a cautious glance toward her father’s room. “He doesn’t like to talk about her a lot. I think it hurts him, but I didn’t even get to know her.”
“I’m sure it does. Your mom’s death left a hole in all of our hearts.” Looking at my phone screen, I realized the time. “It’s awful early for you to be awake.”
“Yeah, I fell asleep early last night so I ended up waking up early. I heard noises out here and came to see if my dad was up. I wanted to know how Uncle Check was doing.” Worry furrowed her brow.
“Ohh, well, that’s why I came over. It hit your dad pretty hard. All he told me was that he was stable. They are watching him closely though.” I tried to reassure her, but I didn’t know if I was a very knowledgeable source. “I need to get home to get ready for work. Will you be okay?”
After rolling her eyes, she grinned. “I’m not five, you know.”
“True, but it’s been an emotional event for all of you.”
She looked so forlorn before she put on a brave face.
“Well, do you need me to let you out? Since you obviously spent the night with my dad.” She smirked and gave me a sly wink.
Oh, God. “Umm, well, I fell asleep while we were talking,” I hedged.
She snorted. “In his room?”
My face burned, and I could only imagine how red it was. “Uhhh, I better get going. And yes, I need to be let out.” When I’d left the bedroom, I hadn’t given any thought to the fact that he had a security system and I wouldn’t be able to let myself out.
I followed her to the door, waited while she disarmed the alarm, and turned to look at her once more. The likeness blew me away. “God, you look so much like your mom.”
Her lids dropped and she studied the floor. “Do you think maybe one day we could talk about her?”
My chest cracked wide open. “Anytime. As long as your dad is okay with it. Do you want my number?”
A chagrined tip of her lips preceded her meeting my eyes. “I kinda already took it off your phone. I was trying to figure out who was in my house with my dad. You know, in case you turned out to be a psycho bitch.”
I laughed. “I guess I need to put a passcode on my phone.”
“Might be smart.” Her lips twisted as she tried not to smile.
“Well, it’s new and I hadn’t gotten around to it yet. But thanks for reminding me.” I chuckled before I impulsively gave her a hug. When her arms tentatively wrapped around me, I teared up a little.
Trying to hide my wayward emotions, I pasted a bright smile on and stepped back. “Okay, talk soon?”
She nodded.
As I climbed in my car, I hoped he wasn’t going to be pissed that Mattie knew I’d spent the night. Too late for that now.
Yeah, things were definitely complicated now.
“Seein’ Red”—Dustin Lynch
For the first time in forever, I’d slept in. Granted, it wasn’t super late, but for me it was. Stretching under the sheets, I reached out next to me to find the bed empty. For a second, I had to think, trying to determine if she’d been my imagination.
Last night had been a bad night. But I knew I hadn’t imagined her being there. I wasn’t crazy. Maybe she was in the bathroom.
Groaning, I leaned over and grabbed my phone. My first call was to Truth.
“You still at the hospital?”
“No, bossman. Slice relieved me about an hour ago.” He hesitated a moment. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I scrubbed a hand over my head, trying to wake up. “How is he?”
“No change.” His tone was resigned.
“Shit.”
“Yeah,” he replied with a sigh.
“All right. Let me head down there. I’ll keep everyone posted if I hear anything. You do the same. Out.” I disconnected the call. Flipping the sheet back, I stood. Stretching, I scratched my chest and stared at the empty bed. Disappointment washed over me when I realized Nova was gone.
Unease tugged at the edge of my consciousness. It left me feeling worried. Something wasn’t right.
A quick shower, and I was walking into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee before I headed to the hospital.
Mattie rushed into the kitchen. With a raised brow I watched her pour a glass of orange juice then make some toast.
“Running late?”
“Not too bad, but yeah. I woke up early, then fell back to sleep and overslept.” She huffed a sigh, then sat at the table.
As she chewed on the toast, she stared at me with a speculative gleam in her eyes. “Uncle Check okay?”
Shoulders sagging, I leaned against the counter. “No change yet.”
Her face awash with worry, she finished her breakfast. “So I got up early this morning,” she started, then her phone dinged and she was on her feet. “Gotta go, Dad. Cheyenne is here. Let me know if he wakes up?”
“I sure will,” I promised. She stood on her tiptoes, and I leaned over so she could kiss my cheek.
As she was rushing out, she paused and looked over her shoulder. “I love you, Dad.”
She didn’t wait for my reply before she was gone.
With a heavy heart, I gathered my shit and sent a text to Slice.
Me: On my way. Need anything?
Slice: Nope. All good P. Thanx
As I left the house, it dawned on me that Nova had left but the alarm hadn’t gone off. Confusion had me in its grasp for a moment. Then I wondered if Mattie had let her out. Shit. I didn’t want to ask her, because if for some reason I simply hadn’t set the alarm when she came in last night, I didn’t want to rat myself out to my daughter.
Deciding I had other things to worry about, I carted my ass to the hospital. I told myself I’d contact Nova later.
Once I’d stepped into Check’s room, I cut Slice loose for a bit and pulled up a chair next to the bed. His parents had gone down to get some coffee. According to the n
urse, he’d spiked a fever, but that could be normal. Not good, but not unexpected. They were keeping him heavily sedated and cool to allow his brain and body to recover.
Not understanding what precipitated this, I propped my elbows on my knees. Watching each breath pump in through the respirator bothered me. Knowing each rise and fall of his chest was the work of a machine was disturbing.
Not knowing who’d caused it was aggravating.
“Little brother, you damn well better pull through this. Never realized how much we needed you until you weren’t there to do shit. Made me realize you’re quite a pain in my ass with all your computer smarts.” I gave a small smile as I remembered his ready grin.
Pulling out my phone, I shot off a few text messages to see where we stood on tracking down who’d done this. Then I chewed on my lip as I debated what to say to Nova. A quick glance to the clock told me she wasn’t at work yet.
Me: Hey. Missed you when I woke up
I waited a few minutes, but there was no reply. Figuring she was on her way to her office, I shoved my phone in my back pocket.
The day dragged by as I visited with Check’s parents and the brothers as they rotated out. There was no need for me to be there with all of them taking turns. But no matter how many times I told them they didn’t need to stay since I was there, no one listened. In a way it pissed me off, because I was their president. However, I appreciated their loyalty.
Finally, I knew I needed to go. Gary had forced Shannon to leave because she was inconsolable and exhausted. Mattie was home from school, and I needed to make supper. Nova still hadn’t replied to my message.
“I’m taking off. Want me to get you anything before I go?” I asked Radar, who was the one on overnight duty.
“Would you mind grabbing me a Dr. Pepper from the machine before you go?” He peeled a couple of bills out of his wallet.
Waving him off, I told him, “I got it, bro. Be right back.”
He nodded.
Smoke and Mirrors: A Demented Sons MC Texas Novel Page 9
