Smoke and Mirrors: A Demented Sons MC Texas Novel

by Kristine Allen

  “It’s true and you know it. I just don’t know how to get my shit straight right now. I’m barely hanging on.” Her words were followed by more tears slipping over her red cheeks.

  Shoulders dropping, he sighed heavily. “Please don’t think we’re bad parents. We’re trying, honey. But he’s also angry and not receptive to anything from us either.”

  “Let me try for a while until you guys can get yourselves in a better place,” I offered.

  “Okay,” Gary agreed. “Thank you.”

  There was no room in me to judge them for their parenting skills when I knew I hadn’t been worth fuck-all as a parent after Anna had died. Turning back to the lost young man, I gave him a raise of my chin and a discreet thumbs-up.

  “I’ll see you Monday, but I know it will be an emotional day so we’ll stay back unless you need something. Okay?”

  They both nodded.

  I gathered my girls, who were surrounded by my brothers, who were all somber as fuck. It had been a rough visit. “Let’s roll,” I instructed, and we all filed out of the building that was suffocating me with its blanket of death.

  “One Thing”—Finger Eleven

  On a glider bench that Check and Truth had built, I sat by the fire pit with a beer in my hand and Nova against my side. Mattie was curled up in an oversized lawn chair near me with a light blanket wrapped around her. She was out, but she’d refused to go inside and lie down.

  After I’d introduced Nova to my brothers, we’d sat around to remember our fallen brother. We’d been sharing stories of Check since we’d lit the fire. Though it had been hard at first, it hadn’t taken long before laughter filled the air at one crazy thing or another he’d said or done.

  When I saw Cale walking across the yard, I lifted my chin. He stopped in front of me with his hands shoved deep in his front pockets. His gaze flickered to Mattie’s sleeping form, then took in everyone around us. “Hey, Smoke. I told you I’d be here.”

  “Good. You want a water or a soda?” I offered. I didn’t ask what had taken him so long; I was simply glad he’d come.

  “Can I have a beer?” he asked, testing me.

  “Are you twenty-one?” I asked, damn well knowing the answer. I heard someone snort and looked behind me to see Flick, the SAA from one of the West Coast chapters, walking off.

  Cale rolled his eyes, and I narrowed mine at him. “Son, you best remember the respect your daddy and mama taught you. You hear me?”

  I’d kept my comment quiet so the others didn’t hear, because I didn’t want to embarrass the boy and push him away. They’d likely razz the shit out of him for being disrespectful too. Nova kept quiet and pretended like she was engrossed in her phone.

  Even though he held the tough-guy expression, I saw him swallow hard. “I hear you.”

  “Good. Have a seat after you get something to drink,” I said as I motioned to a couple of seats that had been vacated by some visiting brothers.

  He nodded and wandered off to the coolers. The little kids, oblivious to the somber occasion that precipitated the gathering, ran in front of him and circled his legs. When he turned his head to watch them, I caught the small smile that appeared briefly as he watched their innocence at play.

  Raiven hollered at her two and went to wrangle them up. Bryson was barely walking but he was hell on wheels. They ran from her with squeals, causing Cale to laugh a little.

  The boy wasn’t a lost cause yet.

  “What’s up with that?” Lock asked as he came up from behind me. He was watching his wife and another ol’ lady try to capture their kids and Clay’s grandkids.

  “He needs some guidance.”

  “Always taking in strays, aren’t you?” he teased.

  “Took you in, didn’t I?” I smirked and tipped back my bottle.

  “That you did. And I’m eternally grateful for that.” Though we didn’t discuss it, we both knew that the similarities in our history was what prompted me to accept him when Snow contacted me. If anyone understood his loss and how sometimes the best course of action was a fresh start, it was me. I’d seen myself in him, and I’d accepted his petition immediately—pending the vote that I knew wouldn’t be an issue. And it wasn’t.

  “I better go help her.” He chuckled as he watched his daughter lead her mom on a merry chase. Then he tossed his empty bottle in the trash as he passed. Fondly, I watched as he swooped in and grabbed his giggling daughter and held her high in the air.

  The faint whimper next to me was enough to pull my attention to Nova. She’d been chatting quietly with Gwen earlier, but she was now staring at Raiven and Lock with their kids. The look of longing on her face had me thinking very hard about her initial request. That in turn had me contemplating where I saw us a year from then, five years from then, ten or more.

  The thought of her not being there at any of those intervals made my chest cave and my stomach cramp. Imagining her with anyone else had my pulse climbing. Seeing another man’s hands on her shot my blood pressure through the roof. Because in my mind, I clearly saw that man as Torque.

  She could say all she wanted about him being a client, but a man knows when another man is pissing on his territory. Nova had accused me of being the one marking her, but it was Torque who was pissing on what was mine. At the time, neither she nor I had seen it clearly—both blinded by stubbornness and old hurts.

  “You ready to head home?” I asked her. Sad blue eyes found mine, then she nodded and stood.

  My gaze followed her sexy curves and drank in the subtle light of lust on her face as she stared at me. The firelight glowed behind her, creating a halo that framed her beautiful features. She’d blinked away the sadness and was silently watching me.

  “I’m going to run to the bathroom,” she murmured.

  “No problem. I wanna say goodbye to Cale.” She nodded and turned to walk away. At the last second, she spun back on her heel and paused. Her fingers gripped the front of my shirt, and those plush lips kissed me in a way that drove me insane.

  Before she could break away, I grabbed both rounded ass cheeks and pulled her tight against my raging hard-on. Trying to gain some semblance of control, I nudged my nose behind her ear and breathed her in deeply.

  “You’re in so much trouble when we get home,” I whispered, then swatted her ass. “Go on. Meet me back by Mattie.”

  “Okay.” Her lips curled slightly before she sauntered away. I watched her until she’d gone inside.

  Then I started picking through the groups. I’d almost begun to believe that he might’ve left. Deciding to check out in the makeshift campground, I ventured out into the darker area.

  After banging on all the port-a-johns, I made the final loop at the back of the tents before I started going back up toward the clubhouse. Hearing laughter, I stared into the shadows.

  It was the white bandage over the new tattoo that had stood out in the black-lit area. There were a group of Flick’s brothers from the West Coast mixed with what looked like a few from up in Tennessee. Flick wasn’t my favorite person. They had a tray set up on the picnic table with even white lines glowing in the black lights they had draped from the tree overhead.

  Anger filled me as I saw Flick hand a rolled up bill to Cale, who set a nearly empty whiskey bottle on the table. Before he could snort the coke, I had him by the hair—much like I’d done with Mattie’s little shit of an ex-boyfriend. “What the fuck? Have you all lost your fucking minds? Do you know who this is?” I asked them in a rage as I released Cale’s hair and firmly gripped the back of his neck.

  “He said he was a friend of your chapter,” Flick said with a scoff in my direction.

  “He’s Check’s fucking brother, and you heard me tell him no alcohol because he’s underage! Do you wanna go tell his mama about how her only living child got drunk and overdosed or had a heart attack because you had him snorting that shit?” My voice rose, and everyone had the decency to look chagrined or nervous. Except Flick.

  “Jesus fucking Ch
rist, Smoke. Chill the fuck out. Let the man loosen up a little.” Flick never was very smart, and the geeked-out look on his face told me he was already high as fuck.

  “Chill the fuck out?” I asked in a deceptively calm voice as I stepped closer to him. In my periphery, I saw Cale look nervously between the two of us. Flick stepped up to me and bowed out his chest.

  No this motherfucker didn’t.

  We were pretty evenly matched, except Flick was a little leaner than I was. That initially worked to his advantage as his hugely dilated pupils filled his eyes and he swung.

  That was the only hit he got in on me. I was on him like white on rice and gave him a pounding before I was being bodily lifted off him.

  “Smoke! Enough!” Straight’s voice finally sunk into my focused fury. As I slowly calmed, I realized I’d been struggling against Straight, Styx, Truth, and Snow. It had taken four of them. Five if you counted Reaper, who stood with his palm on my chest and pointing a finger at the battered form being propped up by two of his brothers.

  “Get him the fuck out of here! Where the fuck is Heavy?” Snow demanded before rounding on me. “You wanna tell me what the fuck that was?” His wide eyes and heaving chest spoke of how disconnected I’d been.

  “Fuck!” I shouted to clear my head and lungs. Then I sought out Cale. When I found him in the crowd I hadn’t noticed before, I saw more of the whites of his eyes than anything.

  “Smoke. I’m gonna ask you again. What. The. Fuck. Happened?” Snow was trying his best to hold his cool. Flick’s president, Heavy, still hadn’t shown up.

  It was unlike me to lose it like that, but seeing Check’s body lying cold in a box had done a number on me. It had driven home the undeniable truth that he was truly gone. I’d been fighting my emotions all day. The possibility of losing one of the last links to him had pushed me over the edge.

  “Boy, you better have a damn good fucking excuse for puttin’ your hands on my SAA like that,” Heavy said as he pushed through the crowd. His disheveled appearance and unfastened belt spoke volumes of what took him so long to get there.

  Clenching my jaw repeatedly, I breathed deeply until I could competently speak. “First of all, I’m no fucking boy. He was getting Check’s little brother drunk and high. When I broke it up, he disrespected me and stepped up to me. Ask any of them, he hit me first.”

  I motioned to the few that were still present from the group that had been with Cale. A few swallowed hard, and nervous energy shimmered around them. One of them defiantly stepped forward. I didn’t really know him well. His cut read COOKIE, but I couldn’t have given much info on him. He ran with Flick’s crowd, and that was a big enough mark on him in my eyes. He boldly spouted, “We weren’t doin’ nothin’ wrong. The kid wuddn’t forced to do nuthin’. Smoke flipped out like a crazy motherfucker for no reason.”

  My eyes narrowed, and I tugged at my restrained arms as I tried to get to him. He shuffled backward, but kept up a brave front.

  “Cale?” I ask in a tone that warned. First he looked to Cookie, then to the ground.

  “I hadn’t done anything yet. Well, except for the alcohol.” Cale’s voice slurred slightly as he stepped up. “They convinced me to come back with the offer of the whiskey, then the coke. They said it would be a good escape—it seemed like a good idea at the time. Smoke is telling the truth that Flick hit him first.”

  I was proud of him for standing up in front of the large number of brothers around us and telling the truth, ensuring that I didn’t get my ass handed to me for beating down a brother without cause.

  “That true? He hit a president?” Snow asked in a low growl.

  Cookie and his cronies paled.

  All that could be heard were mumbles.

  “You’ll all be dealt with. You feel me?” Snow addressed them with a glare.

  A chorus of “Roger that,” and “Yes,” rang out.

  Snow turned to me. “Let’s go.”

  Followed by our respective members and Cale, we headed back toward the fire.

  After we were out of earshot, he gave a me a side-eye. “What the fuck, Smoke? Little overkill, you think?”

  “Hell, no. Stupid motherfuckers like that need to understand not to fuck with me. I will protect my chapter with whatever means are necessary.”

  “The kid isn’t one of your brothers,” he argued calmly.

  “Bullshit. He’s family.”

  “Fair enough.” He clasped a firm hand on my shoulder. “You still taking off, or do you need to calm down?”

  “I’m good.”

  “You okay with me and Reaper heading back to your place later?” he asked me. He’d stopped a few feet from the main group seated around the pit.

  “Yeah, bro. Of course.”

  “What about the kid?” He motioned in Cale’s direction, where Straight and Styx were talking to him.

  “I can’t bring him home like that. I’ll text Gary and tell him it’s late and he’s staying with me so he’s not on the roads tired.” I hated lying to Check’s dad, but it would only upset them to hear what had happened.

  “Sounds good.”

  Before I went to get Mattie and Nova, he caught my arm. I looked at where he held me and up to his light blue-green eyes. “Yeah?”

  “I got your back on this. Don’t let this be another worry on your plate. You feel me?” He raised a brow as he spoke.

  “Thanks, bro. Appreciate it.” We embraced tightly, then both stepped back.

  “I’ll see you at the house later. Don’t wait up.” He winked as he hid a grin.

  I gave him a chin lift, then headed over to where Nova stood nervously by Gwen. “You ready to head home?”

  “Yeah. You okay?” she asked with a worried furrow of her brow. Before I answered her, my finger traced the edge of her lacy black tank top until it dipped into her cleavage.

  “I’m good. Don’t worry about me. You okay with me bringing Cale home with us? Since he’s drunk and Mattie is exhausted, I figured we’d take the SUV home. We’ll come back tomorrow to get my bike.” Pulling my attention from the perfect swell of her tits, I met her gaze.

  “I’m fine with whatever,” she breathlessly whispered.

  “Drowning With You”—Artifas

  “Thank you for your help with Mattie today and Cale tonight.” Grayson had both arms wrapped around me as I rested my head on his chest. Even though we hadn’t done anything but cuddle, my heart fluttered. Being close to him did that to me.

  “Of course.” I turned enough that I could look him in the eye and rested my chin on my hands. “Grayson, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I don’t have better words than that.”

  “I know, trust me, I know.” He palmed the back of my head, slowly combing his fingers through the strands of my hair. He sighed. “What am I gonna do with the kid?”

  “Be a good role model? Keep him busy? Help him move forward? How awful for him to have lost both siblings before he was even eighteen. You said they had a sister too?” It broke my heart to think about.

  “Yeah. They lost her when Check was about four, I think. She was two, if I remember correctly. He didn’t talk about it a lot, so I’m not really sure of the details.” He shook his head in dismay.

  “God, I can’t even imagine. Their poor parents,” I murmured with a heavy heart.

  “Are you okay if we just hold each other tonight?” he asked as he raised his head to better read my face.

  “Are you serious? Of course I am!” I huffed that he’d even have to ask. It didn’t stop me from trailing kisses across his beautifully broad chest.

  “Thanks. I had intentions of doing really naughty things to you, but I’m completely drained.”

  “I understand. Shut the light off, let’s get some sleep.”

  He reached over, shut off the lamp, and turned us both to our sides so he could spoon behind me. A shiver snaked through me when he kissed the curve of my shoulder. It was insane that this hadn’t been our norm, because it was so perfect. His smooth
, warm skin against mine was absolutely ohmygod.

  Enjoying the simple closeness, I listened to his breathing even out and deepen. His left arm wrapped around me with his hand tucked between me and the mattress, cupping my right boob. Despite the day’s emotional rollercoaster, it made a silly grin spread over my face. It was the little things, I supposed.

  Though I was exhausted as well, I couldn’t get my mind to shut off. Time ticked by, but sleep eluded me. Deciding to get a glass of water, I inched my way out from under his arm. A couple of times, his arm tightened, trying to reel me back in. It took several attempts before I worked my way out of bed.

  Soundlessly, I giggled at the boyish softness of his face as he slept. He looked so relaxed and less hardened by life’s experiences.

  As quietly as I could, I opened his dresser drawer and stole a T-shirt. When I slipped it over my head, it dropped to below my knees. It was like a dress, and I had to cover my mouth to smother my laughter at the sight I made.

  Tiptoeing out of the room, I checked on Mattie first. One leg was hanging off the couch, so I carefully lifted it back up and covered her. She turned slightly to her side and her mouth moved as if she was talking but no words came out. My heart tripped a little at the insane amount of love I had for the young woman she’d grown to be. It made me momentarily sad that I’d missed so much of her life. But I had to believe there was a greater power at work and that there was an unknown reason for it.

  Next I checked in the weight room where Cale was sacked out on a pile of blankets. He was softly snoring with one arm thrown over his eyes. Squinting, I could see the white bandage was peeling off his forearm that rested outstretched on the floor. Curiosity had me stepping closer to see the portion of his tattoo that was revealed. Praying it wasn’t some crazy satanic shit or a prison-quality tattoo, I tipped my head to see it better.

  The top was still covered but I could tell it had some writing surrounded by what looked like maybe lilies. Under it was a date with a dash, but no number after the dash. The bottom had the name “Colby” with two dates. Immediately, I knew it was his brother by the last date.