Steam and Ink: Two Novels of Ink Plus Two BONUS Short Stories

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  What the hell was he supposed to do with that?

  “I don’t know what to do, girls,” he finally said after he sat there silently.

  “Talk to her,” Callie said.

  The door opened, and Austin looked up to see a pale Sierra walk in with Leif in front of her. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong then got a look at his son’s face.

  “What the hell happened?” Austin roared. “How the fuck did he get a black eye?”

  “Austin, please,” Sierra whispered, shaking her head.

  Austin stormed over to the pair, only to freeze, and Leif shrunk into Sierra. It was like a punch in the gut, and he wanted to scream. He swallowed hard, forcing his fists to relax.

  “What happened?” he asked, softer this time. He knelt before Leif and held out a hand. When Leif didn’t flinch, he took his son’s chin and tilted his head. “Ouch.”

  “Tell him, honey,” Sierra whispered.

  Leif shuffled his feet then sighed. “Some kid called me a bastard, so I hit him. I broke his nose, so his friend punched me in the eye.” He sniffed. “But the first kid bled a lot.”

  Pride and anger warred within him. If it had been only the two of them, he’d have said good job for hitting a kid who called him names, but he knew that wasn’t the right reaction.

  “Hell,” he whispered. “You get ice on that?” he asked, not knowing what else to day.

  “I did in the nurse’s office.”

  “Hey, buddy, let’s go get you an ice pack next door,” Maya said from behind him. He heard the edge to her voice, the one that spoke of punching people for hurting their blood, but he wasn’t sure if anyone else heard it.

  “Okay,” Leif said then turned to hug Sierra before walking away.

  He didn’t even bother telling Austin goodbye.

  Great.

  Just fucking great.

  Austin stood, running a hand over his beard. “What the fuck, Sierra? Why didn’t I get a call?”

  Sierra narrowed her eyes. “We tried. Your cell is off, and your work number keeps getting a busy signal. Don’t snap at me for being there when you couldn’t. That’s why we put my name and number on the emergency list.”

  He cursed and looked down at his phone. “Fuck. It must have accidently turned off.”

  “And someone knocked the phone off the cradle,” Callie said as she hung the work phone back up. “That really sucks.”

  “No shit.” It wasn’t lost on him that he hadn’t said thank you or even kissed Sierra, but he couldn’t. The fact that Leif had been hurt and he hadn’t been available made him sick. What kind of father was he? Maybe the kid was right for choosing Sierra over him.

  “If you’re done. I need to go back to work. I was at my accountant’s so that’s why I didn’t stop by here on my way over to the school if you were wondering. Oh, and your son has in-school suspension for two weeks, and you need to meet with the other boys’ families with the vice principal. I wrote it all down.” She took out a piece of paper from her purse and threw it at him. “I’m sorry you feel like I hid it from you but don’t yell at me for helping. Leif was scared, Austin, and I didn’t know what else to do.”

  Damn it. He felt like a heel. “Sierra…”

  “No, don’t. I need to go back to work, and then I’m heading to my place tonight. I need a breather, and frankly, it’s been so long since I slept in my own bed I don’t know if it’s even still there.”

  Panic hit him hard, and he took a step toward her. She held up a hand, stopping him. “Just one night, Austin,” she said, her voice shaky. “Tell Leif I will see him tomorrow.”

  She walked away, and Austin staggered back.

  “Go after her, you idiot,” Callie barked.

  “I can’t. She’ll just turn me away. I’ll make it up to her in the morning. I know I’m an idiot. I’m not going to lose her.”

  “You might have already done that,” Callie said sadly then walked away.

  Austin thought the same but pushed that away. He wasn’t going to lose her, but he knew he’d fucked up.

  Badly.

  With that thought, he turned back to Hailey’s to go see the son that didn’t want him. He wasn’t giving up on either of them.

  That didn’t mean it would be easy.

  Chapter 22

  Sierra’s stomach lurched again, and she forced herself not to freak out. She hadn’t exactly walked out on Austin the day before, but it was close enough to the truth that her palms went damp at the thought. Work waited for her, and the strained smile on her face hadn’t gotten past Becky, though her customers didn’t seem to notice she was breaking inside.

  That was something at least.

  Just a few more hours of work and she could go home—which home, well, she hadn’t decided yet.

  When she’d gotten the phone call from Leif’s school, she dropped everything, leaving her accountant with an understanding look on his face. Luckily, Sierra had almost been done with everything so she hadn’t missed out on much, but she’d still put Leif before her other responsibilities and dreams.

  Or at least the money side of her dreams.

  And she’d do it again too.

  The fact that Leif meant so much to her so quickly made things worse for her and Austin. She knew that, but now she’d just have to deal. The look on that little boy’s face when she’d walked into the office would be forever cemented on her mind.

  At first he’d looked so…disappointed. That hadn’t hurt her, not in the sense that she felt she wasn’t the one he’d wanted. Leif, despite the fact that he didn’t know how to communicate it, wanted his father to be there. Because of a set of circumstances that seemed to be out against them, Austin hadn’t been there.

  Leif had only looked that way for a moment before the relief had clearly hit him. At least he was happy to see her. The black eye had jolted her, but she’d pushed through, demanding to know what had happened and what would be done with the other boys. Bullying was not to be tolerated. Violence was not to be tolerated.

  Leif had learned a lesson, and she’d be damned if those other boys didn’t learn one as well. The school had been on her side, but they needed Austin as well. He’d be there for the next meeting; she was certain of it. No amount of dead phones and odd occurrences would keep him away from Leif.

  From her, however? Well, that was another matter altogether.

  The look in his eyes when she’d told him how she’d gone instead…

  God, she wasn’t sure she’d ever get that out of her brain.

  It wasn’t rational for him to be jealous of her for how Leif connected with her so quickly, but that didn’t make it any less of a valid response. She knew something was bothering him, yet she hadn’t been able to fix it.

  Just as he’d been angry at her and the situation, she’d also been just as angry. So she lashed out and walked away, determined not to let Austin dig into her like he had before. He might have had second thoughts and regretted the way he treated her, but she was right in that she needed a night apart.

  Damn it, though, it had been tough.

  She hadn’t slept without him in a month, and his side of the bed had been so cold. Her apartment felt barren and small, empty without his presence. Empty without the heat and care that came from Austin being who he was.

  Although she’d told him it was only for a night, she was afraid it might be more. They hadn’t parted on good terms, and she wasn’t sure how he’d react to seeing her again. Frankly, she wasn’t sure how she would react at seeing him again.

  They’d fought before, sure. Both of them were strongly opinionated, and it was only a matter of time before they clashed, but this one…this one was big. This wasn’t something that could be brushed under the rug and forgotten. In fact, she wasn’t even sure how to talk about it. Throwing a secret love child into a situation would never end up on an easy road. The rough and tumble paths to find a way to live with Leif and find out how Austin and Sierra could have a future seemed almost ov
erwhelming to her.

  They’d taken Leif in without a second thought, and now they were going to have to learn to find a way to cope with it. Letting the state have him had never been an option to Austin, and it sure hadn’t been to her, but having him blend into Austin’s family at the same time Sierra was trying to find a way to do the same wasn’t making things easy.

  She and Austin needed to talk.

  Well, that was the understatement of the year right there.

  “Miss? Miss? Does this come in purple?”

  Sierra blinked then shook her head, trying to clear it. Her customer took the movement as a no to the question and pinched her lips.

  “Well, if you don’t have the color I desire, I guess I will go to another store. You have every other color here but the one I want.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, yes, we have purple in the back I believe. Someone must have bought the other one I had laid out this morning.”

  “Then why did you shake your head?” the woman demanded. Sierra’s temple started to pulse loudly.

  “I was clearing my thoughts, I’m sorry. Let me go get that for you.”

  “She tells me you’re the owner,” the customer said, pointing over at Becky. “If you’re going to sit and daydream all day, I think you might need another job.”

  Apparently this woman had no problem in voicing her opinions and kicking her while she was down.

  “I’m so sorry. Let me get that scarf for you. I will be right back.”

  The woman pursed her lips even harder. “Do so. Then we’ll see if I even want it. I have important things to do today, dear, so be quick about it.”

  Dear Lord, that woman reminded her of Marsha in so many ways it was a bit jarring. Sierra had never been good enough, pretty enough, fast enough, and classy enough for Marsha’s precious, precious baby boy.

  Now Sierra couldn’t be punished enough for it.

  Wow. Where had that come from? She’d done her best not to think about her ex’s parents too hard, knowing there was nothing she could do about them until the next step was taken legally. However, they were always in the back of her mind, haunting her like the ghost of their son. If experience told her anything, it was to get that woman what she wanted and send her on her way as quickly as possible. It was impossible to please everyone, and pursed lips would never unclench unless people went a bit crazy.

  Sierra quickly got the scarf and gave it to the woman, who sniffed then made her way to Becky, purchase in hand. Apparently she wanted the scarf more than she wanted to belittle the owner. Well, that was good for her bank account anyway.

  As soon as the woman left, Becky hurried to Sierra’s side. “Dear God, that woman was something.”

  Sierra shook her head, making sure no one was in the shop. They were in a lull since it was right before they were closing, but they could never be too careful.

  “Something is a decent word for it,” she said finally as she went behind the counter to start the closing-out process.

  “I would have said something worse, but I was afraid she’d be able to hear me through the glass across the street. You never know with those types.”

  Sierra nodded, her mind on the task in front of her so she wouldn’t have to think too hard on what her next step was that night: Austin or being alone.

  Walking out and not calling for a day wasn’t the most mature response, she knew that, but it had been the only thing she could do then. The look on Austin’s face when he’d heard the whole story was enough to break her all over again. She didn’t want to see it again. Having him apologize and say he would do better wouldn’t be enough. Things would have to change, but it wasn’t as if they hadn’t been trying to make things better in the first place. It was just a hard and awkward situation that needed time to settle. However, that didn’t mean Sierra wanted to be the emotional punching bag when things went wrong.

  That would have to change.

  She was already the outlet for pain, grief, and rage for Marsha and Todd. She couldn’t be for Austin when he had issues communicating with his son.

  “Hey, what’s wrong, honey?” Becky asked as she switched the sign to closed.

  “Nothing, I’m just a bit tired.”

  “Well, yeah, you opened today and refused to leave. So go now. I can finish up closing the store and doing everything that needs to be done. You should have left hours ago, but you seemed to need to stay busy.”

  To her horror, tears fill her eyes, and Sierra blinked quickly.

  “Honey, tell me what’s wrong.”

  She shook her head. “Nothing.”

  “You’re lying, but if you don’t want to talk about it yet, I understand. Just know I’m here for you. Go see Hailey if you need to talk to someone and I’m not the right one. I would have said Austin, but from that look on your face and the fact that you didn’t do lunch with him today, he might be the center of whatever issues you have going on.”

  Sierra wiped her eyes and nodded. “Thanks, Becky. I’ll go home and get some rest. I think I’m just tired.”

  “I can handle Eden, Sierra. It’s what you pay me to do. I won’t let your baby fall to ruin. I might throw a large rave here tonight, but that’s another story altogether.”

  She laughed, just as Becky must have intended, and then went to get her purse. She’d been on her feet for over twelve hours, and she could feel it in every step now that she let herself feel in the first place.

  “Good night, love,” Becky called, and Sierra waved, making her way to her car behind Montgomery Ink. She refused to look inside just in case Austin was there. Or Maya. Or Sloane. Or Callie. Anyone that had seen her walk out of the shop the day before or could know about it.

  By the time she got to her car and started up the highway, she knew what she needed to do. Austin’s home was farther away, but it was where she needed to be. The night before she hadn’t been able to sleep without his presence, and she didn’t want to do that again. Running away from her problems was not the answer, and she would face them with her chin held high, darn it.

  She pulled into Austin’s driveway and got out of the car, her hands shaking. Austin had given her a key as soon as Leif moved in, the significance of that action paling in comparison to her taking care of his son.

  She set her purse down on the bookshelf that stood in the foyer and took a deep breath. No one was home, the silence of the house deafening. Nothing had changed since she’d been there last. In fact, it was as if she’d never left, but something was…off. She didn’t feel like she quite fit in anymore. Leif’s shoes were by the fireplace, haphazardly thrown off and near a pile of books he must have been reading. Austin’s leather bracelet that he switched out for his metal one every once in a while was on the coffee table next to his tablet, sketchpad, and pencils. There were dirty breakfast dishes in the kitchen sink and crumbs on the counter.

  That morning had been the first one where Austin had to get Leif ready for school on his own. She hated herself for not being there to see Leif off the day after he’d gotten in a fight. With all her own personal issues, she’d let him down. She knew that. She hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye to him because if she’d waited around long enough to do so, she wouldn’t have been able to leave his father even for the night.

  She was weak, and she knew it.

  “Sierra?”

  She turned on her heel, her hand going over her racing heart. “Austin,” she gasped.

  He stood in the foyer by the door to the garage, his keys in his hand, his eyes full of pain. After staring at her for what seemed like an eternity, he cleared his throat. “Hey, Legs,” he said, his voice falsely calm, “I was just coming home to grab a bag and head to your place.”

  She licked her lips. “My place?”

  Austin set his keys on the shelf then took two powerful steps toward her. His hand tangled in her hair, pulling her head back so she met his eyes.

  “I’m so fucking sorry, Sierra. I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I shouldn’t have
taken out my frustrations on you.”

  “No, you shouldn’t have.” He might look sexy with that beard of his and the intensity in his eyes, but she couldn’t walk away from what had happened. Not fully. It wouldn’t do either of them any good.

  “I can’t believe I got jealous of you and Leif. Because that’s what it was. It was petty jealousy because my son would rather go to you.”

  She shook her head. “You didn’t see his face when I walked in, Austin. He wanted you there. He doesn’t pick me over you. He just doesn’t know how to tell you he wants you. Just like you don’t know how to do the same to him.”

  He looked like he’d been struck at her words, but he nodded. “I…I don’t know what to do, but I do know that I want you by my side when I do it.”

  Her heart lurched.

  “You’re mine. You get that? I was an asshole and scared about Leif, and I fucked us up. You had every right to leave me in the shop alone with my own troubles yesterday, but sleeping without you last night? Baby, that was horrible. I don’t want to do that again. You get me?”

  “I get you,” she whispered. “But that’s not the end of it. Do you get me?”

  Austin sighed, moving close to rest his lips on her forehead. “I know. I know, baby.”

  Something inside her relaxed, and she leaned into his touch. They might not have fixed everything, nor had they said everything they needed to say, but she was in his arms, and that was a step forward.

  “Where’s Leif?” she asked after they stood there a few minutes in silence.

  “At Meghan’s. He wanted to stay with his cousins…and I wanted to be with you. To talk with you. To just be.”

  She pulled back slightly so she could look into his eyes. “I’m glad you’re here. I…I just need you.”

  She couldn’t say her true feelings out loud, not right then. Not when she might have trusted him with her body, but her heart was fearful of what was going on inside his head.