Reaching Her Heart: A Christian Romance (Callaghans & McFaddens Book 8)

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  “What I’d like to know is how they manage to make it look so big on the inside when it doesn’t look nearly so big from the outside.”

  Tristan laughed. “It’s a bit like the Tardis.”

  “The Tardis?” Shayna frowned. “What’s that?”

  “A time-traveling police box.”

  “Uh…okay?”

  Tristan leaned forward. “It looks like I need to bring you up to speed on some science fiction TV shows.”

  And with that, their conversation veered off in a direction that Shayna figured Timothy would have enjoyed too. From TV shows, it went to movies and then music. They even discovered that they’d enjoyed a few of the same books. Granted, most of them she wouldn’t have read had Timothy not expressed an interest in them. They were classics, but nothing she would have been interested in when she’d been younger.

  At first, she had read the books to Timothy, then they’d shared the duty, reading alternate paragraphs. Now when they spent time reading together before bed, often Timothy was the one who read. She found it engaging to listen to him read with such emotion, even trying different accents for the people in the story. She had no problem imagining him as a dad one day, entertaining his children with stories and accents.

  When the waitress appeared at the table to clear away their plates, Shayna realized how different things were done at this restaurant. While she and the other servers where she worked were encouraged to constantly make themselves available to the people sitting at the tables in their section, at Shelby’s, it appeared that the servers were told to be more discreet.

  The funny thing was that even though the waitress wasn’t constantly checking in with them, Shayna hadn’t felt neglected at all. Once they’d been served their meal, the waitress had only appeared one time to replace their water glasses with fresh ones. She’d only returned after that once they’d finished eating.

  After their plates were cleared away, she returned with a tray that held a small silver three-layer dessert stand. She placed a small china plate in front of each of them then set the dessert stand on the side of the table. When they’d agreed to dessert, Shayna hadn’t imagined that this was how it would be served.

  Speaking softly, the waitress pointed to each of the things on the tray and explained what they were. As she talked, Shayna took in the woman’s apparel. It looked as if she was wearing a period costume sort of outfit. Something from the early 1900’s, maybe, with a spotless apron over the top of it.

  It was understated yet elegant looking, and she would have enjoyed wearing it instead of the all-black outfit she had to wear at her place of work. Black T-shirt with the restaurant’s logo. Black skirt that ended just above the knee. Black tights and black shoes. It was like going to a job wearing mourning clothing.

  When she’d first gone to work after Lorne’s death, the outfit had felt appropriate, but in the past year or so, she’d wished for something more colorful.

  “May I bring you coffee or tea?” the woman asked once she’d told them what the desserts were.

  Tristan waited until Shayna had asked for tea before requesting coffee. The waitress returned a few minutes later with a tray holding two china cups and a teapot. She set the cups down, along with a matching china cream and sugar set, then she carefully poured tea into Shayna’s cup.

  “I’ll be right back with the coffee,” she said.

  Shayna waited until she’d walked away before turning her gaze to Tristan, a smile on her face. “This place is amazing. Truly amazing. But are we supposed to eat all the desserts?”

  “We don’t have to, but since the bill will include all of them, I think we should eat what we want and then you should take the leftovers home to Timothy.”

  “Oh, he’d love that,” Shayna said.

  Once the waitress returned with a tall china coffee pot, she poured Tristan’s coffee before she left them to their dessert. Shayna looked over the squares on the dessert stand.

  “At least I won’t have to fight you for anything on there,” Tristan said. “There appears to be two of each kind.”

  “Good thing.” Shayna smiled at him. “Because they all look so tempting.”

  “Don’t hold back.” Tristan leaned forward to peer at the tray. “I think I’m going to start with the raspberry square. Then it’s on to something chocolate. Isn’t that how it’s supposed to go? Fruit before chocolate?”

  Shayna laughed at that. “Pretty sure the fruit isn’t supposed to be smothered in sugar and oats. And speaking of fruit and chocolate, I don’t think I ever thanked you for the strawberries and chocolate you bought with Timothy.”

  Tristan looked at her, pausing in his perusal of the dainties. “He really wanted to get those items for you. I was happy to help him out.”

  “And the gifts he gave me?”

  “Yes. We had some fun going to the dollar store and picking out those items. I have to admit, I was a little stymied by the makeup choices, but Timothy insisted they would be fine.”

  “I try to wear what he gives me a few times, mostly just around the house, so he can see that I appreciate his gifts even if they aren’t exactly what I might choose for myself.” Shayna removed a chocolate square from the tray—more than happy to leave her fruit option for a second choice—and set it on her plate. “I truly do appreciate how thoughtful he is. He tries to take care of me when he can.”

  “I could see right from our first meeting that he was a thoughtful young man, mature for his age.”

  Shayna nodded. “I think that’s partly just him, but another part of it is having lost his father at such a young age.”

  “I’m sure it’s rough to be without a dad at his age. I think Ryan was about that age when his dad passed away. Although, in his case, his dad was gone a lot since he was in the military. I’m sure your…husband’s absence was noticed more acutely by Timothy.” Tristan’s brow furrowed as he shifted back on his chair, coffee cup in hand. His gaze lowered as he said, “And, of course, by you, too.”

  “Sometimes I think Timothy doesn’t really remember him.” Shayna took a sip of her tea, a little surprised that she’d confessed that. She hadn’t even shared that fear with Lisa. “Lorne was gone a lot. As he got more involved with the homeless youth, his time at home lessened. He tried to make it up to us when he could, but still, it was kind of like he was on call all the time. Only he didn’t get paid for it.”

  “Do you talk to Timothy a lot about his dad?” Tristan asked.

  Shayna sighed as she stared into the flickering flames. “Not as much as I probably should. But it was difficult, especially when it first happened. Talking about him seemed to make our loss even more painful, particularly when Timothy just kept asking where Lorne was and when he’d be back.”

  “I’m sure it wasn’t easy,” Tristan said.

  The atmosphere at the table seemed to have shifted from light and easy to gray and dismal. Shayna felt a keen sense of disappointment at the loss of the light-hearted mood. Was that wrong? That for just a few hours, she’d been able to enjoy Tristan’s company? It hadn’t meant she loved Lorne any less, or that his memory wasn’t still important to her.

  Suddenly, the desire to eat all the squares slipped away. She managed to finish the one she had on her plate and sip the last of her tea, but she declined a refill when the waitress silently appeared with the teapot. Tristan also turned down a refill, and then he went on to ask that the remainder of the desserts be packaged to go.

  The waitress nodded and took away the dessert stand. The muffled conversation and soft music weren’t enough to fill the silence between them now. Shayna regretted that she had introduced such awkwardness into their time together. When she’d first agreed to the date, she’d anticipated that there might be some awkwardness during the evening, but as it turned out, she’d found that hadn’t been the case.

  Once the waitress returned with a white box with a silver sticker sealing it, Tristan settled the bill. As they stepped outside, she realized that th
e temperature had dropped even further while they’d been inside. Shayna was grateful that in spite of what had happened in the restaurant, Tristan still offered her his arm before walking to the truck. Tristan had started the truck while they were still in the restaurant, so it was already warmed up when she settled into her seat.

  The awkwardness lingered as Tristan climbed behind the wheel and buckled his seat belt. She expected him to pull out of the parking spot right away, but he sat there, hands gripping the wheel as he stared out the front windshield. She waited, not sure what was going through his head and not wanting to add to any of the awkwardness already present between them.

  “I’m sorry, Shayna,” Tristan said then turned to face her. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

  Shayna shook her head. “I’m not uncomfortable. I guess I just wasn’t sure how to handle the change of direction in our conversation. It was a little…weird.”

  In the illumination from a nearby streetlight, Shayna could see the rueful smile on Tristan’s face. He let out a sigh, then put the truck in reverse and pulled out of the parking lot. Finding the silence a bit overwhelming, she reached out and turned the knob on the radio, certain that Tristan wouldn’t mind if the Christmas carols played a little more loudly. If it prevented the awkwardness between them from increasing because they were struggling to make conversation to fill the silence, she was pretty sure Tristan would be fine with it.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  The trip back to the townhouse seemed to take twice as long as going to the restaurant had, despite the traffic being even lighter than earlier. Shayna felt disappointment fill her as she realized this was likely the first and last time they’d go on a date. Even though she hadn’t been sure she should go out with Tristan in the first place, as the evening had progressed, she’d been so glad she had.

  But now it might not happen again.

  When tears pricked at her eyes, Shayna turned her head and blinked rapidly, not understanding at all what had brought them on.

  After Tristan pulled to a stop in the driveway, Shayna once again—at his request—waited for him to open her door. They walked together to the townhouse, and once inside, Shayna touched Tristan’s arm as he headed for the stairs. He stopped then turned to face her, his expression serious but not closed off.

  “Thank you for the evening,” she said, hoping he could read the sincerity of her words on her face. “I really enjoyed it.” She hesitated. “All of it.”

  His brows drew together. “Even the awkward part?”

  Shayna shrugged. “Even that. It won’t be what I remember when I think back on the evening.”

  She hoped she wasn’t lying when she said that. Maybe, for the first little while, the awkwardness would be what came to mind along with the rest, but she hoped that in time, just the fun and enjoyable parts of the evening would remain in her memory.

  “I hope so,” Tristan said. “I enjoyed the evening as well.”

  She smiled at him. “Good.” She glanced up the stairs. “I’m sure Timothy is looking forward to hearing all about it.”

  As if on cue, Timothy appeared at the top of the stairs. “Maman! Tristan!”

  “We’ll be right up, Bug.” Shayna unbuttoned her coat and hung it up, but when she held out her hand for Tristan’s, he shook his head.

  “I’d better head off soon. I would imagine that you both have an early morning tomorrow.”

  “True,” Shayna said with a sigh. “My shift starts at seven, and Timothy is off to the babysitter’s again.”

  “Are you off work on New Year’s Day?”

  “Yes, though I do have to work my shift on New Year’s Eve.”

  Tristan followed her up the stairs, and together, they found Danica and Sierra in the dining room with Timothy. Monopoly was spread out all over the table.

  “I see you didn’t heed my warning,” Shayna said as she walked over to give Timothy a kiss. “Did he win?”

  “Yeah,” Danica said as she slumped back in her chair. “This is our second game. Sierra and I are trying to redeem our first loss. He bankrupted us both.”

  “You’re gluttons for punishment.” Shayna looked around, pleased to see that the girls had cleared up after their dinner. It made her like them even more.

  “Or he’s quite good at convincing people to give him what he wants,” Sierra said with a smile. “He is also quite entertaining, I have to say.” She looked at Tristan. “You need to hire him to talk to people about tiny homes. I think he knows at least as much about them as you do.”

  “He does,” Tristan said, reaching out to ruffle Timothy’s hair. “He and Shayna came by to see the display home not long after I started to teach him in our Sunday School class.”

  “I still think we should move into one,” Timothy said as he began to clean up the game. He glanced at each of the girls then added, “I think we can say I won this game as well.”

  Both of them eyed the game with varying levels of dislike, and Danica said, “I think we can say that with a fair amount of confidence. One of these days, I think we need to have him play Gabe. I would pay good money to watch Timothy beat him.”

  Sierra and Tristan both started laughing, and the seriousness that had been on Tristan’s face since they’d left the restaurant faded away.

  “Thank you so much for staying with him tonight,” Shayna said. “From the looks of things, he’s enjoyed himself very much.”

  “Any time you need a babysitter, feel free to let us know.” Danica handed Timothy her meager stack of cash. “I can’t promise we’d always be available, but you never know.”

  “Thank you for the offer. I’m sure Timothy will be finding all kinds of reasons why he needs me to go out without him.”

  “Well, if you and…” Danica’s words faded as she looked at her brother. “Uh, well, you know, if you ever need a babysitter for anything.”

  Shayna didn’t look at Tristan to see what it was on his face that had caused Danica to stumble over her offer. Instead, she fought to keep her expression from falling, even as the disappointment, which had eased a bit in the past few minutes, roared back to life.

  “We should probably be going,” Danica said after another glance at her brother. “Let’s get this all cleaned up.”

  “Oh, you don’t need to do that.” Shayna began to put the pieces into the little plastic bags. “We can finish putting it away.”

  Suddenly, the uneasiness that had been with them in the truck permeated the air around them. It engulfed Danica and Sierra this time too, though Timothy seemed blissfully unaware of it all. The game was quickly packed away, and then they all made their way down to the front door.

  Danica and Sierra pulled on their jackets and boots then left after promising to keep in touch. Then it was just her, Tristan, and Timothy.

  “I’ll see you next week,” Tristan said to Timothy. “We’re back on schedule for our Sunday School class.”

  “Good!” Timothy held up his hand, and Tristan high-fived it.

  Tristan turned to Shayna and gave her a small smile. “I hope you have a good week.”

  “You too.” Shayna returned his smile, wondering if the sadness inside her was showing. “Thank you again for the evening. It was lovely.”

  “You’re welcome.” He opened the door, and Shayna drew Timothy closer to her as the cold air swept in. With one last look in their direction, Tristan pulled the door shut behind him.

  Shayna’s shoulders slumped as they stood there together. Though it had been just the two of them in the weeks since Lisa had had to leave, right then, she felt even more alone.

  “Come on, Bug.” She turned them toward the stairs. “Let’s get ready for bed.”

  Tristan was glad that neither of the girls had ridden home with him. It gave him time to focus on the evening and what had gone wrong. When he’d envisioned the date, having the conversation turn to her deceased husband hadn’t been part of his plan, but maybe it had been naïve of him to have not conside
red that. He had no idea if such a conversation was normal on the first date with someone who had lost their spouse.

  Bennett had dated Grace after her husband had been killed, but their situation had been different. The whole family had known Franklin, so when they’d begun their relationship, he hadn’t been an unknown to Bennett the way Lorne was to Tristan. Memories Grace had of Franklin were, in a lot of cases, shared by all of them. Not the more intimate ones, of course, but at least Bennett had known what he was up against.

  Tristan felt like he was in competition with a ghost, and he wasn’t sure if that was a normal way to feel when dating someone whose spouse had passed away. Maybe if this first date had gone more smoothly, without a conversation about Lorne, he’d feel more confident about moving forward.

  It would have been a start of things just between them, but for a time, it had felt like there were three people at that small table, which, for Tristan, was one too many. It seemed that maybe Shayna wasn’t quite ready yet to move forward.

  As he pulled into the parking lot of the apartment building, Tristan let out a sigh. It was apparent that he’d put a bit more stock into the outcome of the evening than he’d realized. Had he had unrealistic expectations for what it would be like to date a woman who had lost her husband? Tristan kind of felt that he had. But now it was time to move beyond that and try to go back to the friendship they had been building.

  Even though the week ahead was a short one because of the holidays, Tristan decided to go to bed early. Jackson had texted him earlier in the day to say he wanted to chat, but Tristan had ignored his request and continued to ignore it as he got ready for bed. The last thing he needed was Jackson managing to pull the story out of him and then telling him all the ways he’d screwed things up. Tristan didn’t need that.

  Thankfully, he managed to find enough work to hold his focus—for the most part—the next day. But he was still glad to head for home once the day was over. The solitude of the apartment was, at first, welcome, but as he prepared himself something to eat, it began to feel a bit oppressive.