Reaching Her Heart: A Christian Romance (Callaghans & McFaddens Book 8)

by Kimberly Rae Jordan

  “I met Lorne for the first time when I was fourteen,” she said, a small smile on her face. “He found me hiding in an abandoned building down near the river. At first, he scared me because, even though he wasn’t that much older than me, he was a big guy. He decided that night that he was my protector, and that’s what he became.”

  Tristan tried to ignore the queasiness in his stomach as he listened to Shayna talk about the man she loved. The one he had no doubt that, even if she had loved Tristan, she’d have gone back to in a heartbeat if given the chance. Still, he’d said she could tell him, so now he had to listen, hard as that was.

  He ate a few fries but mainly focused on his coffee, welcoming a refill when the waitress appeared briefly at the table with the carafe. After several minutes of talking, Shayna hesitated.

  “I wouldn’t have been able to talk to you about Lorne like this when we were together. If I let myself think too much about him during that time, it kind of felt like I was cheating on him by being with you. Caring for you.” Shayna’s brows drew together, and she lifted her tea to take a sip.

  “I guess now that we’re not together, it makes it easier, eh?” Easier for her maybe, not for him.

  “No, it’s not like that. It’s only been in the past couple of weeks that I’ve felt this way.”

  Tristan shifted in his seat, leaning forward slightly. “Why is that?”

  “I needed the time after our breakup to gain some clarity.” She gave him a small smile. “So I suppose I’m grateful for that, even though it’s been a really difficult time.”

  Tristan hadn’t thought it would be as difficult for Shayna given that she hadn’t been as emotionally invested in the relationship as he’d been. As he sat there watching Shayna, Tristan wanted to slide into the other side of the booth and wrap his arms around her. He wanted to feel her weight as she leaned against him.

  It had always made him feel stronger than he knew he was, like she trusted him to support her. That wasn’t his place any longer.

  “I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to share this with me,” Tristan told her when she stopped talking after getting through the part about Lorne’s death.

  “Well, you said that maybe things would have turned out differently if we’d had a chance to talk about my relationship with Lorne beforehand.”

  “Yes. I think I might have realized you weren’t ready to be in another relationship. We could have just stayed as friends.”

  “And now?”

  Tristan stared at Shayna for a moment, wondering what she was trying to say. Or how she wanted him to respond. He was stubbornly pushing aside any hope that she might be hinting that she wanted to be together with him again.

  He slid his plate of fries to the side. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Shay. I’m happy that you’ve managed to make things right with your friends and that you’re at the point you can talk about Lorne, but I’m not sure what you want me to say.”

  “Actually, you don’t need to say anything,” Shayna told him. She caught her lower lip between her teeth then lifted her mug. Her brow furrowed as she took a sip of tea, her gaze lowered. “It’s more what I need to say to you. What I couldn’t say to you before.”

  Tristan’s heart stopped for a moment then started up at an alarming rate. His throat tightened as his heart absorbed what her words meant.

  “I know it might not make any difference now,” Shayna said as she looked up, her eyes awash with tears. “But I wanted you to know that I love you, Tristan. I loved you then, even though I couldn’t say the words like you needed me to.”

  “You love me?” Tristan pinched the skin of his wrist, not at all certain he was really awake. This part of their conversation seemed to resemble dreams he’d had in the last couple of months.

  “I do. I’m just sorry I wasn’t able to tell you that when it mattered.” She gave him a tremulous smile. “It was never about you. The reason I couldn’t say the words had nothing to do with you. You deserved to hear the words on Valentine’s Day, and I wish we could do that evening over so I could tell you that.”

  Shayna’s revelation had left Tristan speechless. He’d given up hope of ever reaching her heart. After seeing the pictures on her nightstand, he’d figured a relationship with her was a lost cause. And now she was telling him she loved him? It was unreal.

  “It still matters.” As her other words sank in, he realized it was important she know that. If what she said was true, then it most definitely did matter. “If you really mean it, it still matters.”

  “I do mean it,” Shayna said, lifting her hands to wipe away the tears that slid down her cheeks.

  Tristan scooted out of his side of the booth and moved to sit beside Shayna. He slid his arm around her shoulders and tilted her chin up so he could look in her eyes. “I still love you, Shayna, and if the past two months of separation are any indication, I feel like I always will.”

  “It hurt so bad when things fell apart between us,” she said, her lips quivering. “But that was what helped clarify things for me. The only reason I think it didn’t hurt as bad as when I lost Lorne was because you were still here. I was grieving the loss of our relationship, but at least you were still alive. And I was so grateful for that.”

  “You know this will be it for me, right?” Tristan said. “If we get back together, it’s because you see the same future as I do for us. I want us to be a family. You, me, and Timothy. It’s what I wanted when we started dating, and it’s what I still want now.”

  “I want that too.” She pressed her face into his neck, and her voice lowered. “It’s scary for me, though, because I can’t imagine what I’d do if I lost you. These two months were hard enough without you. I don’t want to lose you.”

  “I can’t promise you won’t lose me any more than you can promise me I won’t lose you, but I want to have a life with you in the meantime.” Tristan ran his fingertips over her cheek. “Do you regret the years you had with Lorne, knowing how it ended?” She shook her head. “Then let’s take advantage of whatever time we have, whether it’s a few years or decades. I love you and want to be with you for whatever amount of time God gives us. Please tell me you want that too.”

  Shayna reached up and cupped her hand around the back of his neck. She lifted her head and smiled at him. “I want that too. So very much.” She pressed her lips to his in a gentle kiss then whispered, “I love you, Tristan Callaghan.”

  EPILOGUE

  It’s my wedding day.

  The words popped into Shayna’s head the moment her alarm started to go off. Shayna could hardly believe it. In fact, if someone had asked her even two years ago if she’d ever say that again, she would have laughed in their face. But here she was, just hours from walking down the aisle for the second time in her life.

  Though she knew she needed to get up, Shayna hit snooze and took a few minutes as she lay curled under her blankets to pray for the day ahead. Her emotions felt perilously close to the surface, but not in a bad way. She was ready to marry Tristan and had no reservations about it.

  How could she, when the man had touched her heart so profoundly?

  This was the man who, when he’d officially proposed to her, had told her that he didn’t want her to move on from her past. Instead, he wanted her to move forward with him, keeping the memories of the past alive, for Timothy’s sake.

  It seemed that once Tristan had realized that she really did love him and that she really did want to be with him, he’d been happy to learn more about her past with Lorne. In fact, more than once she’d heard him talking to Timothy about Lorne. It warmed her heart to know that Tristan was willing to acknowledge Lorne as Timothy’s father even as he stepped into that role for her son now.

  When her alarm went again, Shayna slipped out from underneath the blanket and made her way into the bathroom. She’d allowed herself an extra hour so that she could soak in a bath before the busy day started. The large garden tub was a luxury she still wasn’t used to even
after living there for almost six months.

  Not long after she and Tristan had gotten back together, he’d asked her to consider moving into his family’s apartment building. She’d talked about it with Eva and in the end, they’d agreed. Eva had moved into a one bedroom on the main floor while she and Timothy were on the top floor of the three-story building. Sierra and Danica lived on the second floor, which was where Tristan also lived.

  The move to the new apartment had meant more than a garden tub in her bathroom, it had also meant that Timothy had been able to transfer schools since they now lived on one of the Lighthouse bus routes. It had also been a bit closer for her to work, although that didn’t matter anymore. She’d quit her job two weeks ago, and at Tristan’s request, she was taking her time to decide what she might want to do instead, once they were married.

  Of course, he’d given her the option of being a stay-at-home mom. She never would have considered it, except he’d revealed to her shortly after they’d gotten back together that he had plenty of money because of some game he’d helped design. That had come as a shock, but it had also meant she couldn’t very well argue when he told her she didn’t have to work.

  Once the tub was filled with warm water and her favorite scented bath oil, Shayna turned on the playlist she’d set up specifically for that day then sank down into the water. She’d also set a timer on her phone to make sure she didn’t spend too much time in the tub.

  Timothy had stayed the night with Tristan and his friend, Jackson, so it was just her and Lisa until Eva and the Callaghan and McFadden ladies arrived to help her get ready.

  When her timer went, Shayna got out and dried off before wrapping herself in her favorite fluffy bathrobe. Lisa had bought it for her for Christmas, and on cold days, it was the perfect thing to wear.

  When she left the bedroom, Shayna immediately smelled coffee, so she wasn’t surprised to find Lisa in the kitchen. She smiled at Shayna as she walked in.

  “Good morning.” Lisa poured hot water from the kettle on the counter into the mug next to hers. After she put a tea bag into it, she slid the mug toward Shayna. “Want some breakfast?”

  “I’m not sure I can eat, but I probably should.”

  “Yes, you definitely should,” Lisa said with a nod. “How about some toast and yogurt?”

  “That sounds good.”

  Shayna dunked her tea bag a few times before removing it, then took the plate with a container of yogurt and a slice of toast Lisa gave her and sat down at the table. As they ate, they talked about the day ahead. Shayna enjoyed the quiet moments knowing they wouldn’t last for long.

  They had to be at the church by one-thirty, but the hair and makeup people Belle had lined up would be arriving shortly to start preparing her for the day.

  “You look beautiful, Maman,” Timothy said as he beamed up at her.

  “You look very dapper yourself in that tux, Bug.” Shayna reached out to touch his cheek, mindful that a ruffle of his hair would be ill-received.

  Timothy looked down at himself as he straightened the dark jade green bowtie he wore. It matched the ones the groomsmen wore as well as the bridesmaids’ dresses. When Belle and Eva had suggested picking out dresses in addition to the wedding gown she’d chosen, Shayna had initially balked. It had seemed excessive, but then she’d just let them run with it.

  Once she’d chosen her color and the ladies who were going to stand up with her, Belle and Eva had done the rest. Each of the ladies had chosen their own style, so while the color would be the same, the styles would be what the ladies had deemed most flattering to themselves. The men would be wearing dark gray tuxedos.

  All in all, it promised to be an elegant event, but Shayna only cared about one thing: that at the end of the day, she was married to Tristan.

  “Are you ready to head to the church?” Lisa asked.

  “Yes.” Shayna blew out a breath as she turned to find her cloak. It had seemed ridiculous at the time, but given that the temperature was well below freezing, she was happy she’d agreed to the suggestion when Belle had given it several months earlier.

  The day she’d gone to the boutique to pick her dress and accessories, Belle had told her that at Tristan’s request, all the price tags had been removed. She was to pick what she wanted without worrying about the cost. After pinching pennies for so long, it had been difficult to do, but Tristan had insisted.

  “Here you go, sweetie,” Tristan’s mom said as she brought her the fur-lined cloak.

  It took a couple of them to get it into place and then they walked down the two flights of stairs to the main floor and the waiting limo. Shayna was glad they’d talked her into wearing a pair of fancy white boots. They were definitely more comfortable than her high heels would have been in the cold, even with a heel.

  Once she was at the church, Shayna found she couldn’t stand still. She paced around the room, her nerves starting to kick up a little as she tried to remember her vows. Her only regret about the whole day was the fact that her dad hadn’t been able to make it.

  She’d talked with him several times over the past few months, but from what she’d been able to deduce, her step-mother strenuously objected to him coming to Winnipeg for the wedding since she wasn’t invited. Shayna tried not to resent that, once again, the woman was making her life difficult, but after several conversations with Tristan and some prayer, she managed to let it go.

  All that mattered was that she and Tristan were married. That’s what she kept telling herself.

  Tristan swung around as the door to the room where he waited opened. “Is he really here?”

  Ryan nodded. “Yep. He’s in the room with Shayna now.”

  “My grandpa’s here?” Timothy asked as he came to where Tristan stood. “Can I see him?”

  “Yep.” Ryan reached out to ruffle Timothy’s hair, but the boy ducked and stepped away.

  “Nu-uh,” Timothy said with a shake of his head. “Maman would kill you if you messed up the hair.”

  “Well, I guess I can’t have that happening. I’m the best man, after all.” Ryan grinned. “But your mom did ask me to come get you so you can see your grandpa before the ceremony.”

  “Cool!” Timothy headed out of the room with Ryan right behind him.

  “You ready for this, bro?” Gabe asked from where he, Mitch, and Jackson lounged on a couch against the far wall.

  “Of course.” Tristan knew Gabe was probably asking because he was pacing, but that wasn’t because he was nervous. It was because he was anxious to get the show on the road. It felt like it had taken an eternity to get to the point of saying “I do” even though it hadn’t been that long. Months, as opposed to years.

  He was so glad to hear that Shayna’s dad, Martin Sheppard, had been able to make it for the wedding. She’d been in contact with him since shortly after that night they’d gotten back together, but it was only recently that she’d felt comfortable asking him to walk her down the aisle. The only requirement was that her step-mother not come with him.

  While her dad had been willing to listen to her when she’d first contacted him, her step-mother had been absolutely adamant that he not believe a word she said. She’d called Shayna a liar, among other things, so with Tristan’s support, Shayna had told her dad that if he couldn’t come alone, she’d rather he didn’t come at all.

  Since Martin was basically a last minute arrival, Tristan wondered if he’d had to sneak out of the house in order to make it to the wedding. Regardless, he was happy that Shayna would have her dad there to celebrate their special day.

  He paced over to the window and looked outside. The sun was shining brightly, making the snow that had fallen overnight sparkle like diamonds. When they’d decided to get married in late January, they’d talked about having a destination wedding so it would be warm. But then they decided that it was more important that all their friends and family be able to attend.

  “Did you get all your stuff moved?” Mitch asked. “Or is there st
uff we need to take care of while you’re on the honeymoon?”

  “I took the last of my personal stuff over yesterday. We’ll deal with the rest when we get back.”

  Though they were living in the three-bedroom apartment for the time being, they’d already begun to work on a home design to build, even though Timothy was still insisting that a tiny house would be good for them. Tristan figured that once they had land of their own, he would build a tiny house for Timothy as a play house.

  Though he wasn’t sure why he’d never told Shayna about his stake in the gaming company when they’d been together the first time, he did tell her about things when he and Jackson had finally hammered out an agreement. To say she’d been shocked, was to put it mildly.

  Tristan would have happily had Shayna become a stay-at-home mom as soon as they were back together, but she’d refused. She’d continued to work at the restaurant until just a couple of weeks ago.

  He had requested that she take some time to figure out what she wanted to do next. He wanted them to have plenty of time to grow close as a couple and as a family with Timothy. Which was why, once the wedding was over, he and Shayna were going to the family’s cabin for a week—just the two of them—and then to Hawaii for a week with Timothy. He was being allowed to skip school for that time since his school work wasn’t in any jeopardy of suffering.

  But first—the wedding.

  When Ryan re-appeared a few minutes later, it was with the news that it was time to start. Timothy had stayed to walk down with the bridesmaids and flower girls, even though he’d protested having to walk “with the girls.”

  “The pastor wants us to make our way to the side room,” Ryan said. “So let’s go!”

  It wasn’t long before Tristan stood at the front of the sanctuary with the pastor, Ryan, Gabe, Jackson, and Mitch. It had been challenging to choose which of his brothers to have stand with him, but in the end Kenton and Bennett had bowed out in order to make it easier. And Jackson, as his closest friend, had agreed to stand up with him as well.