by Lauryn April
An hour passed. Jo joined us during the upbeat songs, but after every six or so a slow one cut in. The theme was “A Night of Stars,” and the gym was decorated with thousands of twinkling Christmas lights. Ian held me in his arms, and we swayed to the music. For a moment, as my head rested against his shoulder, I looked up at the twinkling ceiling and remembered the night I’d sat on Logan’s roof, staring up at the sky.
I shook the thought free and looked back at Jo. I smiled, watching someone ask her to dance, but she politely turned them down. Shortly after that she got up and walked outside. Worried about my best friend, I looked to Ian and kissed him warmly on the lips as I pulled away.
“I’ll be right back,” I said.
He grabbed my hand just before I walked away and our eyes met.
“I just want to check on Jo,” I said.
Ian nodded.
I slipped out the front doors to see Jo sliding her cell phone into her purse. She turned to me as the door swung shut. A weak smile graced her lips and I smiled back, attempting to be comforting.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
Jo sighed. “I’m gonna go home.”
“No, Jo, you can’t.”
“I’ve had a great time with you guys tonight, but I want to be here with my girlfriend.”
That word, girlfriend, still sounded weird coming from Jo, foreign somehow, but I understood how she felt. The one person she wanted here most couldn’t be here with her.
“Nikki’s on her way to pick me up. I’ll be fine, really. Go back in and have a good night.”
I wrapped my arms around Jo, hugging her tight. She squeezed back and a moment later a maroon Dodge Neon pulled up. The passenger window rolled down. Jo and I pulled apart and I looked to the car to see Nikki leaning across the seat. She waved and I said hi back.
“Go have fun,” Jo said as she slid into the passenger seat of Nikki’s car.
“You too,” I replied. Then we both waved goodbye as they drove away.
I watched their car exit the school parking lot. When I turned, ready to do exactly as Jo had instructed, Jared walked out. He wore a black tux with a yellow tie that matched the dress of his date, a junior girl on my cheerleading squad.
“Need a break from your date?” he asked. “I could keep you company.” His brown eyes smiled at me, lips twisted in a cocky smirk.
“God, could you be any more full of yourself?” I tried to storm past him, but he stepped in front of me.
I could smell the booze on his breath. I assumed he had his father’s silver flask hidden away in the breast of his suit coat, like he’d done when we were dating. I tilted my head up, giving him the patented Payton Carlson death stare. His expression softened.
In a rare moment of sincerity, he said, “I never wanted us to hate each other.”
I sighed. I’d never wanted that either, but it didn’t change how I felt now. “Then you never should have lied about us. And you never should have cheated on me.”
“I know. I know it was stupid to brag about something that never happened. I know that hurt you.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore, Jared. We’ve been broken up for almost two years. You’ve got to let me go.” I tried to push past him again, but he grabbed my arm.
“Wait, just give me a chance….”
“Jared,” I said in a warning tone.
“Can’t we even be friends?”
I sighed again. “Fine, we can be friends. Now can I go back inside?”
Jared didn’t let go of my arm. I tried to tug free, but his grip tightened. I smelled the volatile aroma of whiskey on his breath, and then he leaned in.
I pushed back. “Jared, I said friends.”
He didn’t back off. His lips neared and I turned my head.
“Hey,” someone yelled.
I looked to the parking lot to see Logan walking toward us. Jared didn’t notice, or didn’t care. He grabbed my other arm with his hand and continued with his drunken attempt to kiss me.
Logan wrenched Jared away from me, pushing him toward the parking lot. Jared stumbled back, and I rubbed my arm. Logan stepped between Jared and me. He wasn’t dressed up, wearing simply a t-shirt and jeans.
“You okay?” he asked.
I nodded.
Jared regained his balance, and his arm dropped onto Logan’s shoulder.
“Look, Reed, m-my girlfriend and I would like a moment alone,” he slurred.
Logan shook his head. Then in one swift movement he shifted and punched Jared in the face. I gasped, taking a step back. I looked at my ex lying on the sidewalk, holding his bleeding nose.
“She’s not your girlfriend,” Logan said.
Jared moaned in pain. Crimson spots appeared on his white dress shirt. He tried to stand but tumbled back down. The door opened again and I saw a flash of yellow as Jared’s date, Melissa Fischer, rushed to his side. Blond hair, twisted into tight curls, bounced around her face.
“Oh my God, Jared. What happened?” She knelt beside him.
Nostrils flaring and cheeks rosy, Jared shot both Logan and me a look as he stood. He wiped his face. “Nothing, baby.”
Melissa looked at me, then Logan, a mix of confused emotions swirled behind her eyes. She wrapped an arm around Jared and led him to the door. “Come on, Jare. Let’s go back in.”
Jared nodded, and with one last glance our way, he followed Melissa back into the dance. I sighed and leaned against the building.
After a beat of silence Logan asked, “Are you okay?”
His eyes met mine. For a second it felt like we were over our fight, but I wasn’t sure if that were true.
“Why’d you help me?” I asked, worry rooted in my voice.
Logan took a step away from me. “Jared’s a dick.”
I scoffed and looked away. Of course this was about Jared, probably retribution for when he pushed Logan down in the hallway. I was stupid to think it had anything to do with me.
“If you hate me so much, then why help me with any of this to begin with?”
Logan sighed. “I don’t hate you, Payton, I just don’t like how….” He shook his head. “How selfish you can be sometimes, how thoughtless, how little you care about other people’s feelings.”
“I care–”
“At first the only reason I started talking to you was because I thought it was funny they’d taken you.”
“Gee, thanks.” I crossed my arms, feeling thoroughly rejected.
“But then I saw that look in your eyes when we talked about them. I saw that look and I knew you understood. You were the only person in the last fifteen years – other than my mom – who understood what the Greys were and what they did.”
He’d been alone for so long, then he had me. I was the one person he could share this with, and I practically spit on him and walked away. My chest tightened at the thought of how I’d treated him.
“So why talk to me now? Why stand up to Jared for me? I’ve been awful to you.”
Logan sighed. “You have been pretty mean to me, but…but I know there’s more to you than that.”
I took a deep breath. “How?”
Logan shrugged. “I just do…every now and then I see you open up, like when I told you about my dad. Look, I’m sorry about not accepting your apology the other night. I didn’t mean what I said.”
I smiled. “So does that mean I’m forgiven?”
“Yeah, I forgive you.”
We both smiled.
“Thank you,” I said. “So, what are you doing here anyway? You don’t exactly look dressed for the dance.”
“I um…I have something I’m working on. If you want I’ll show you sometime.”
I was curious, but I didn’t pry. “Yeah, I’d like that. But right now I should get back inside. My date’s probably wondering where I went.”
Logan nodded. “I’ll walk you in.”
The dance floor was swaying softly to a slow tune when Logan and I walked in. Shadows cast by the twinkling l
ights above slinked along the gym floor. I scoped the crowd for Ian. When I found him he was standing behind a wave of light brown hair. Ian’s hands were wrapped around the waist of a girl in a light blue dress. Her arms twisted behind his neck, and he smiled down at her.
I felt Logan’s eyes on me and turned to see him looking slightly uncomfortable. “I’m sure she’s just a friend.”
“I thought I knew all Ian’s friends,” I said. “Who is that anyway?”
“Jenna Swanson.”
I nodded, but I didn’t have any clue who she was.
“Are you mad?”
I sighed. “No, I mean, I should be. Normally I would be, but….” But I just didn’t feel mad. Watching Ian dance with Jenna hurt a little, but not in the way that I would have expected. “I wasn’t really giving him my full attention today. I was worried about Jo. I wanted her to have fun, and I think I may have ignored him a little.”
“Are you going to go over there and steal your date back?”
“That would be my normal reaction, wouldn’t it?” A few weeks ago I would have stalked across the dance floor and made it very clear to the whole gym who Ian’s date was, but I didn’t feel like doing that. “Nah. I’ll let them dance.”
“Good, then you have time to come with me.”
“What?”
Logan had already grabbed my hand and was leading me out of the gym.
CHAPTER
15
The click of my heels echoed down the hall as I followed Logan. It felt strange walking around school at that time of night because it was dark and empty. The soft sound of music could be heard in the distance, slowly fading the farther we got from the gym.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
Logan stopped. He stood before the door to the metal shop and pushed it open.
“This way,” he said.
I eyed him curiously, then followed him in. Nervously I stepped into the dark room, crossing my arms as I felt a slight drop in temperature. I’d never been in the metal shop before. I heard the flick of a switch, and the room flooded with light. My eyes squinted, adjusting to the brightness. Tables with metalworking machinery and tools were spread throughout the room. Yellow tape created boxes on the floor, surrounding each table. Logan walked across the room and I followed.
Near the back of the room, on the floor behind the last table, was a metal sculpture. It stood about three feet tall. Tiny pieces of metal were twisted and woven together, spiraling upwards in a flame-like shape. When the light reflected off the hundreds of tiny metal shavings, the sculpture seemed to move.
“Did you make this?” I asked.
Logan shrugged, playing it off like no big deal, but a proud smile tugged at the corners of his lips.
“This is really cool.”
I neared the piece, my eyes tracing over every curve of the metal. The edges connected in a way that you couldn’t tell how each piece adhered to the next. There were no tool marks; it just flowed organically, as if the metal had grown that way. It was beautiful.
“How did you do this?”
Logan laughed. “Mr. Rolland thinks I’m just really smooth with a pair of pliers, but when he’s not looking, I um….” A scrap of metal lifted off the ground, seemingly on its own. I smiled, watching it float toward Logan’s sculpture. It twisted in midair and glowed red as it fused to the sculpture seamlessly.
I smiled. “That’s incredible.” This must be what he’d wanted to show me the day I’d told him it was best if we didn’t hang out together at school. Guilt twisted at me again.
Logan returned my smile. “You really like it?”
“Yeah, I do. You should make me something sometime.”
Logan tilted his head. “I think I can do that.”
His eyes searched the room, landing on a table across the way. I watched as a long tubular strand of metal lifted off the table. It floated across the room to hover before Logan. I watched as it began to twist in midair. The ends curled and coiled, looped and tied. Then there was no longer a piece of metal before him, but a ring with a metal bow. Logan held out his hand and the ring dropped into his palm.
I grinned as he handed it to me. Picking it up, I cautiously turned the ring over in my hand.
“Thank you.” I slid the ring onto my middle finger, smiling as I realized it fit perfectly. “That was really sweet.” I looked back to Logan.
Our eyes met and suddenly the room no longer felt empty and cold. My breath came out shaky. I saw Logan differently in that moment than I’d ever seen him before. I could see why Jo had called him cute in a nerdy kind of way. He was, and he had this crooked smile that made me smile back. I looked away, breaking the moment.
“Well, I should get back to the dance.”
Logan nodded. “Yeah, and I should get to work. This is due on Monday.”
“I wouldn’t worry about that. I think you’re gonna get an A.”
“Thanks.”
I shook my head. “No, I should thank you.”
Logan smiled.
I walked out of the metals room, taking a deep breath as I stepped into the hall. I glanced back at the metal door behind me, then walked to the gym.
The music was fast paced when I returned to the dance. This time, when I caught sight of Ian, he saw me too. He called my name, but his words were swallowed by the drumming beat of the music. I smiled as he made his way to me. We walked to the far end of the room to sit at one of the long rectangular lunch tables. It was quieter there. The table was half covered in jackets and purses. High heeled shoes were scattered on the floor beneath it, and a broken corsage lay wilting on the table top. I cleared myself a spot and sat down.
“Everything with Jo go okay?” Ian asked, sitting down across from me.
I shrugged. “She went home.”
Ian frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“It’s okay, now you have me all to yourself.” I smiled.
Ian smiled back, but I saw his sight flicker to something in the distance. He only looked away for a moment, but I’d followed his line of sight. It was obvious he’d just looked at Jenna. Her blue dress swished to the beat of the music as she danced with her friends nearby.
I’d just looked away from her when Ian asked, “Were you with Logan earlier? Darren said he saw the two of you leave the gym.”
I cleared my throat. “Yeah, he had something he wanted to show me.”
Ian was silent for a while. “I guess I just didn’t think you two were friends.”
“We’re friends. He’s my neighbor, you know. I see him from time to time.”
Ian nodded. “There’s nothing going on between the two of you, is there?”
“What?” Ian’s question caught me off guard. “No, of course not. We’re just friends.” As the words left my mouth, my sight fell to the twisted scrap of metal that looped around my finger.
“Good,” Ian said. My eyes snapped to his face. “Come on, let’s dance.”
He stood, reaching his hand out. I took it, letting him lead me to the dance floor.
The rest of the night I danced with Ian and my friends. We all moved together, shimmying and grinding to the beats of the music. Eventually the boys shed their suit coats and loosened their ties. Hailey and I kicked our shoes aside, and the curls in our hair fell flat. At the end of the night I walked out of the school with swollen feet and my arm looped through Ian’s. We stepped outside. I breathed in the cool air, smiling as the breeze caressed my skin, and I felt a shock.
I jumped. My hand flew to cradle my head and I hissed in pain.
“Payton, are you okay?” Ian asked.
We stopped walking. Hailey and Darren were already a few feet ahead of us. I held my breath; my muscles were tensed.
“I’m fine,” I said, but another intense bolt of electricity skirted along my skull, and I winced in pain.
“You don’t seem okay,” Ian said. I had to admit I didn’t feel okay either.
Hailey walked over. “What’s going
on?” She looked at me with concern.
“I just got the worst headache.”
“Standing next to those speakers all night has my brain pounding a little too,” Ian said. “You going to be okay?”
I breathed deeply.
“She has to be okay,” Hailey interjected. “We have an after party to go to. You can’t bail.”
I sighed, nodding yes, but then I felt another shock.
“I don’t think she’s going to make it,” Ian said. From the look Hailey gave him, I was grateful he had said it and not me. “Come on, Payton, I’ll take you home.”
Hailey huffed as we passed her, but she still managed to yell out “Feel better” as we walked away.
We pulled up outside my house; the entire building was dark except for the porch light. Mom and Dad were already sleeping. I turned to Ian with a grateful smile.
“I’m sorry I’m not gonna make it to the after party.”
Ian shrugged. “Just feel better.”
“Thanks.”
A moment of awkwardness passed. A week ago I’d been sure things between Ian and I were tumbling toward some kind of relationship. Now I wasn’t sure how I felt about him. I wasn’t sure if I should give him a kiss goodnight or a hug. Something just felt different between us.
“Well, goodnight,” Ian said. He leaned forward, and I decided.
I leaned away ever so slightly and pulled him into a hug, kissing his cheek.
“Goodnight.” I got out of his SUV and walked inside.
As I made my way to my room I wondered what I was doing. I’d bailed on an after party with my friends and just shut down the boy I’d been crushing on for months. The only thing I knew for sure was that my head was throbbing. The pain remained even after my dress had pooled onto the floor and I was curled beneath my covers.
