Peridale Cafe Mystery 22 - Scones and Scandal

by Agatha Frost

  Today, she was certain this move was the right one.

  “We’ll be fine,” Barker said softly from the doorway, backlit by the hallway light. “I’m more worried about you. I know your gran agreed to only get a picture, but you know what she’s like. A picture might be enough for the police, but for her? I’m not so sure.”

  “I won’t even leave the B&B.” Julia switched on the star nightlight on the bedside table, casting the trio of stones in a dancing wash of colour. “You know where everything is?”

  “If I don’t, I’ll find it.”

  Not the answer she’d hoped for.

  “We’ll be fine,” he repeated, laughing as he pulled her in. “If we’re lucky, she’ll have another magnificent all-through-the-night sleep. Have you noticed we’ve been having more of those?”

  Julia nodded, although it had taken the rough night after Penelope’s death to see the contrast; sleeping hadn’t been Olivia’s favourite pastime.

  “If she wakes up—”

  “We’ll be fine.” He kissed her again. “Trust me.”

  “I do,” she said.

  She’d tried to explain the insidiousness of mother’s guilt to Barker. He seemed to understand, though she could tell whatever version he felt wasn’t quite the same.

  “Be careful,” he urged, planting one last kiss on her at the front door. “I told Christie the lot of you were up to something. All you have to do is scream, and he’ll be across.”

  “Didn’t he ask questions?”

  “He’s got a lot on his mind,” Barker said, whispering despite Johnny and Leah being all the way across the lane and out of earshot. “The Chief Superintendent is breathing down his neck to wrap up the Penelope case.”

  Heaving her backpack over her shoulder, Julia nodded and went on her way. She crossed the lane, deciding it might be easier if she didn’t glance back.

  “I can’t believe we’re doing this.” Johnny kicked away from the stone wall and balanced on his crutches. His camera dangled around his neck. “Your gran is going to get us all killed, I swear.”

  “Might finally get offered a cup of Evelyn’s special tea,” Leah agreed, picking up her backpack and unlocking her car. “I heard someone talking about how they’d been nothing but happy since popping by for a visit.”

  “Really?” Johnny rested a hand on his stomach. “It just had me up all night with the—” He cleared his throat. “Should we get going? Any later and Dot will fetch for us.”

  Julia checked her watch. They were late. Only by five minutes, but she’d been in a world of her own by the cot.

  She looked back at the cottage.

  “I’ll take the blame,” she said, pulling her gaze away from her cosy home as she ducked into Leah’s car. “Something tells me this will be the least of what she has on her mind tonight.”

  Julia took the front while Johnny stretched out along the backseat. Leah’s car was as ‘modern executive’ as they came, and it always had a new car smell strong enough to knock Julia sick if she didn’t open the window a crack on long journeys. She hadn’t realised the wedding planning industry paid so well until Leah changed her car for the third time in the near two years since she’d inherited her mother’s house. Julia smiled. Maybe Leah traded them in whenever that new car smell started to wane.

  The drive was short, and before long they turned out of the green and past The Plough. As if Julia needed a reminder of how late it was, the pub was busy brushing out the last of the stagger-legged customers.

  “Guys . . .” Johnny pulled forward through the front seats. “A-are those . . . green glowing eyes?”

  The light of an overhead streetlamp blinded Julia as Leah slowed to a crawl. Through her squint, she also saw green eyes. Two pairs – and they were staring right at them.

  Leah hit a stone in the road before slowing to a halt, flashing the dark-clad owners of the green eyes long enough for Julia to figure out what was going on. They jumped out of the car and approached the dark duo: one tall and slender, the other round and squat.

  “What do you think?” Dot lifted away the green eyes, leaving her own visible through the dark green camouflage makeup. “I’ve been waiting for a reason to pull these bad boys out.”

  “Gran . . .” Julia took in the outfits and blew out a sigh. “I honestly have no words.”

  “Are those stab-proof vests?” Johnny asked. He reached out with one crutch and tapped their boots. The clunk revealed steel toes.

  “Bulletproof, too.” Percy popped up his night vision goggles and knocked on the black vest. “Quite something, aren’t they?”

  Dot and Percy were padded or covered in hard panels, all black, from head to toe. Dot had never been one to shy away from a costume, and their Wizard-of-Oz-themed wedding proved she and Percy were well suited in that regard. Still, this topped them all.

  Julia had to take a picture.

  “Did you say you were waiting to pull these out?” Julia asked, zipping the picture to Jessie without explanation. “For what possible occasion?”

  “We saw a documentary.” Dot removed a black helmet and unleashed her grey curls. “Didn’t expect it to be so warm in there. And you may be pulling those faces, but knife crime is on the up, nationally! You’d all do yourselves a favour to invest in protective gear.”

  “We bought it for late-night dog walks,” Percy whispered, leaning in, “but after we almost gave Father David a heart attack when we took them out for a test drive, we felt rather silly.”

  “They’ve found their use.” Dot removed a glove and knocked on the hard plastic helmet. “If Penelope had been wearing one of these, she might have stood a chance. Johnny, good to see you brought the camera like I asked.”

  Dot held out her hand, and just so Johnny knew she was waiting, tapped her steel-toed boot against the shiny stone pavement. Johnny’s hand tightened around the camera, and the strap remained firmly around his neck.

  “I’ll take good care of it,” Dot insisted, summoning the device – or Johnny’s co-operation – by clapping her fingers against her palm. “We’ll need something with a good lens if we’re to snap the winning shot of Evelyn’s shed-dweller stealing her food.”

  “We’ll be in the bushes,” added Percy with a twinkle in his eye. “Hence the camouflage.”

  “I was going to wait for that until we explained The Plan, dear.” Dot’s lips pursed as her fingers began their insistent clapping again. “Camera, Johnathan!”

  Groaning under his breath, Johnny pulled the large piece of equipment from around his neck. He hesitated, and both he and Dot held on for dear life to the middle of the strap.

  “They’re not easy to use.”

  “Point and click, Johnny.” She tugged it away from him. “And I’ll take excellent care of it. I’ll treat it like a baby.”

  A pang of guilt caught Julia off-guard.

  To distract herself, Julia lifted her phone and spotted two new text messages from Jessie: ???, followed by three yellow faces crying tears of laughter. Julia shot back a quick explanation, and in all caps, Jessie replied with: THEY GOT THOSE TO WALK THE DOGS???

  Dot spun on her heels and marched up to the front door, snapping pictures of the front garden, complete with blinding flash, as she went. Above, guests twitched at their curtains.

  “Shilpa’s not coming,” Dot revealed as they filed through the front door. “She can’t handle the late nights, so it’s just the nine of us.”

  “Nine?” Julia asked. “Shouldn’t there be seven?”

  Lady and Bruce ran through the sitting room door after Dot pushed it open and pursed her lips so tightly the greasy makeup settled into the lines around her mouth.

  “Honestly, Julia,” Dot tutted. “You didn’t think we were leaving them at home, did you?”

  Home.

  She tucked her phone away.

  If those texts from Jessie hadn’t given her a moment to reflect, Barker might already have had his first check-in text message of the night.

&n
bsp; After the dogs’ excitement wore off, they followed Dot and Percy into the sitting room. A couple were reading in the front armchairs, but the incoming elderly stormtroopers diverted their concentration.

  The light from their reading lights faded out to near darkness at the back, where another couple of armchairs sat before a matching bay window, currently occupied by Evelyn and Amy. They were sipping tea and giggling, stopping when they saw Dot. As per Dot’s request, Evelyn was in a dark kaftan, and Amy looked almost unrecognisable in deep navies instead of her signature pastels. Behind them, the window looked out onto a wildflower garden cut by a path leading to the shed squarely in the middle.

  And in perfect view of the armchairs.

  “Gather round, gather round!” Dot clapped her hands together as Percy hurried in with her presentation board. “The plan is really quite simple.”

  The visible page showed the original list of suspects, all with reams of information jotted beneath them. Before Julia could focus enough to read any of it, Dot flipped. Five pages of notes later, she landed on a crudely drawn cross-section of the house, complete with garden and shed.

  Simple, it was not.

  “Amy and Evelyn will take the first watch upstairs,” Dot explained, circling two drawings of women in chairs before running along one of the many coloured lines pointing to the shed. “Both eyes out at all times. Julia and Johnny will be taking watch at this bay window, also maintaining full sight of the shed. Percy and I will be in the bushes outside.”

  Percy opened a box recycled from one of the café’s boxes of overstocked flour and passed around binoculars and walkie-talkies.

  “What do I do?” Leah asked, accepting her gadgets.

  “Yes!” Dot pushed down the pointer. “Yes, Julia’s friend, it’s . . . it’s your job to make sure nobody falls asleep. That sounds right. And if anyone needs anything, you go and get it.”

  “Leah can cover bathroom breaks too,” Percy suggested.

  “Good observation.” Dot agreed with a nod. “The five of you will take turns in that role. I’ll let you decide the details amongst yourselves. Now, enough chat. From this moment on, we act as though he could turn up at any moment.”

  Dot and Percy marched through the living area and out of view. The two readers waited a moment before following behind, no doubt to get safely to their beds and away from the madness they’d just overheard. Through the windows, Dot and Percy waved before retreating into the bushes on either side of the shed.

  “Testing, testing.” Dot’s voice crackled through all the walkie-talkies, static interference whining at the edges. “Over.”

  “Received,” said Julia.

  Evelyn and Amy retreated upstairs with the equipment and a prepared tray of more strangely-scented tea, along with scones from the café.

  “Received?” Dot pushed.

  “Received,” Julia repeated, trying to swallow a chuckle. “Over.”

  “Can you see us?” asked Percy. “Over.”

  “Negative,” Amy replied from upstairs. “This is quite fun. Oh, my finger is still on the . . . Over.”

  Julia arranged herself at the window, unzipping her bag.

  “Leftovers from the café,” she explained when Johnny limped over. “Switch with Leah for the first watch.”

  “But your gran said—”

  “Take whatever you want,” she urged with a smile, wiggling the bag temptingly. “And give us at least fifteen minutes.”

  “Fine.” Glaring at over his glasses, he dug in the back and pulled out a clear box holding a slice of carrot cake and another containing a custard slice. “You’re up to something.”

  “Women’s things.”

  Balancing the boxes, Johnny went on his way without pushing the subject further. Not that she expected him to; the glimmer of confusion in men’s eyes as they wondered what those words could mean always tickled her.

  “Sit down,” she said after beckoning Leah over. “Reach into my bag of goodies and see what you pull out.”

  Leah pulled out a brownie and sank into the chair by the window. Julia wasn’t hungry, but she waited for Leah to take a bite before offering a warning shot via a throat clearing.

  “The other day,” she started in a whisper, aware of Johnny’s presence by the front bay windows, “before Katie came into the kitchen—”

  “When I almost had a breakdown?” Leah forced a dismissive laugh between bites. “Is that why I’m sat here and Johnny isn’t?”

  “I wanted to check in.”

  “I’m fine.” Her glance at Johnny as he shuffled through a pack of Evelyn’s tarot cards said otherwise. “You never really know someone until you live with them.”

  “That doesn’t sound good.”

  Leah’s gaze lingered on Johnny as his shuffling escaped him. An explosion of cards fluttered around him and onto the carpet. He sent them both a red-faced smile and got on with retrieving them as best his awkward stiff ankle allowed.

  “Do you think there’s a chance Johnny is” – Leah took another bite, and mumbled through the mouthful – “seeing someone else?”

  “Johnny?” Julia tried not to laugh. “No way. C’mon, Leah. It’s Johnny. He wouldn’t do that. Unless . . . have you found something?”

  “Not as such,” she said, looking at the brownie as though it had lost all temptation “He keeps hiding his phone from me.”

  “Oh.”

  “Upside down on surfaces,” she whispered. “Everything I’ve read online . . . it’s not a good sign. I would never have noticed if I hadn’t been forced to stay with him.”

  “Have you talked to him about—”

  “You’re right.” Leah shifted to face the window. “Lack of sleep mixed with always looking over my shoulder doesn’t have me at my best. I’m glad we’re finally focusing on this, at least.”

  Julia let her gaze linger on Leah before turning her head and looking into the garden. Contrary to her gran’s warning, she hadn’t managed to keep her eyes on the unmoving shed for more than a few seconds at a time. To make up for it, they spent the next fifteen minutes looking straight ahead in silence. Other than some light rustling in the bushes, there was nothing to report.

  “Melinda Newton,” Leah said out of the blue. “I knew there was something I wanted to tell you. Johnny gave me access to the paper’s digital archive, and I found it instantly. Turns out she is Penelope’s daughter. Or was. She did die. Twenty years ago, during childbirth.”

  “That’s awful,” Julia said. “Towards the end, I couldn’t stop my mind lingering on the possibility of that scenario. Sue and Katie said they were the same, but only afterwards. Did the poor baby survive?”

  “The article I read was from back then,” she said with a nod, “but her baby boy was alive at the time of her obituary. No idea if it fits in anywhere. Unsettling to know that people we went to school with died at twenty. Four years after we left school to experience life, and then – poof – gone, just like that.”

  Julia returned her focus to the shed, acknowledging the nudges her brain was trying to make.

  Melinda’s surviving son.

  Desmond and Penelope’s argument-causing grandson.

  Leah’s shoeless burglar.

  Evelyn’s gardening shoes’ new owner.

  Shilpa’s shoplifter.

  The boy forcing back tears at the spot where Penelope died.

  If they weren’t all the same person, Julia would eat her hat.

  “Julia!” Leah hissed, slapping the back of her hand against Julia’s arm. She left it there as she picked up the small binoculars with the other. “I think I see someone.”

  Leaning forward, Julia squinted into the dark. To the left of the shed, she saw the flicker of movement that Leah had caught. A figure emerged from the blackness at the bottom of the garden and slipped straight into the shed.

  “Did you see that?” Amy whispered through the walkie-talkies. “He’s here! Over.”

  A bright flash emerged from the bushes, a
nd another, and another. Green eyes followed the flashing as a slender, dark figure charged at the shed, camera first.

  “Gran!” Julia cried into the walkie-talkie. “What are you doing?”

  Dot slammed the shed door and bolted it with a padlock.

  “You didn’t say ‘over’,” said Dot through the walkie-talkie. “And nice job, Amy. You didn’t give me much choice there, did you? He surely heard your message, over.”

  “Sorry, Dot,” said Amy meekly. “Over.”

  Though Julia had promised she would stay in the B&B, she wasn’t about to sit by and watch as the shed bounced from side to side. If nothing else, it wouldn’t take much to break the old wood.

  “This has gone too far!” Evelyn bombed down the staircase in a flurry of fabric as Julia and Leah rushed into the kitchen. “A picture, you said!”

  “A citizen’s arrest,” Dot corrected, meeting them halfway up the path, helmet tucked under her arm as she yanked off her gloves. “Percy? Are you coming out?”

  Percy dove out of the bushes with heavy lids and a sway in his step. Pulling off his night-vision goggles, he yawned at the shed, squinting as though confirming that it was really rocking and not just a leftover of the nap he’d obviously been having.

  “Gran . . .”

  “For goodness’s sake, Julia!” Dot planted both hands on her hips. “Isn’t this what everyone wants? We’ve caught him. The village can rest easy now.”

  “No, Dot!” Evelyn stomped her foot on the paving stone. “No, no, no! This isn’t right. You can’t just lock someone up in a shed.”

  “I just did.” Dot fluffed out her curls. “Now, is someone going to call the police, or do I have to do everything myself?”

  Dot pushed through the gathered crowd and entered the B&B with Percy at her heels. Johnny appeared at the back door, as sleepy-eyed as Percy had been.

  “Shilpa was right,” Evelyn said, her watery eyes fixed on the shed. “She said Dot would go too far tonight.”

  Evelyn whooshed her kaftan around and ran back into the B&B. Johnny reached them, his gaze fixed on the shed. Julia hadn’t noticed the thrashing stop. She turned, her heart skipping a beat. He was at the window next to the door and staring right at them. Or she assumed he was; she couldn’t see his eyes for the shadow cast by his peaked cap.