My thoughts kept returning to Anaya as I ate, but I needed to focus on the current issue. Duester. She continued to send stares my way that chilled me to the bone. There was the question; if she was out to hurt Anaya, why did she threaten my family? Did she know?
The walk back to the room was a quiet one. It made the echo of Griff’s footsteps more obvious, like a percussive reminder that I was a prisoner here, and there was no escape.
“Are you okay?” Jaxson asked as we stopped in front of the room.
“I am. Why do you ask?”
He traced his fingers over my eyebrow, across my temple and down my cheek. He smiled, but his eyes seemed sad.
“I know you are fond of this one.” He brushed his finger across the tip of my nose. “Duester’s comments have upset you.”
I nodded.
“We will keep her away from Reka’s family. Do not let her trouble your mind.” He leaned in and kissed my nose. “I will be back before dinner, maybe sooner,” he said, turning to Griff. My guard nodded and followed me into the room.
Griff took up his post in the chair Jaxson made for him. His dark eyes felt like they were probing my soul now that we were alone in the room with nothing standing between us.
Again, thoughts of Anaya invaded my brain. She was the worst kind of selfish, leaving me to fend off her enemies, and now she had robbed me of all my allies. Even Griff, sitting there watching me, looked guilty. He too, played a part in the circumstances that brought me here.
“Do you intend to just stare at me for the next four hours?”
“You know I am required.”
“Do not act like you are just a servant, Griff.”
“I am as free as you.”
The silence that followed his words was oppressive. What could I say to that? Did it mean Jaxson would do anything to keep him too?
“I am tired. I think I will get some rest.”
“Yes, it has been a draining morning. Sleep will help bring you clarity.” He nodded his approval.
When I woke, Griff was gone and the room was dark. The only light came from the doorway to the wash room. Quietly, I padded to the edge of the doorway and watched as Jaxson bathed.
“You were sleeping so peacefully I did not want to wake you. Your dinner is on the bureau.” He did not turn to face me when he spoke.
“How long did I sleep?” It felt like I had only closed my eyes for minutes and it left me feeling off balance.
“It is almost bed time.” He still did not turn. Alarmed, I walked across the room and knelt next to the tub facing him.
“Is something the matter?” I asked.
He touched the hand I had absently placed on his shoulder. “Not now that you are awake.” His voice was deeper, husky sounding.
“What is it?”
“You would not wake up.” He looked and sounded like a frightened child. I could not help my reaction, nor did I want to. I was not going to change who I was to fit into their mold.
I crawled into the tub, dress and all, and sat in his arms. He held me tight, tighter than ever before. And for the moment I did not care who he was, or who I was for that matter. There was only his skin and his fear blending with my skin and my fear; common in allies and in foes.
Chapter 11
I did not object in the morning when Griff met Jaxson at the door and took his place in the chair that remained.
“You look better this morning.”
“Yes, half a day asleep will leave anyone feeling well rested.”
“More rest on the agenda today?”
I shook my head. “No, I think I have done enough lying around. I feel like stretching my legs today.”
He eyed me with interest. “Swimming?”
Shaking my head, I flicked my hand toward the wash room. “Go, I need to change.”
As I dressed in the tight man pants and bodice, I realized I was growing fond of the way they made me feel. I felt confident in them, like they were a second more durable skin. That is what I would need if I was to endure what I had planned.
“I want you to teach me to fight,” I said when Griff re-entered the room.
“What?” There was horror in his usually calm eyes.
“You heard me. I do not want to feel so helpless.”
“Helpless? You seem to hold your own pretty well.” He chuckled.
“Only when I am angry and not with any skill. Teach me.”
“Jaxson will not approve.” He shook his head as if that ended the conversation.
“Then we will not tell him. He cannot say no if we do not ask him for permission.” I saw defeat in his eyes. I jumped and clapped my hands together.
“You are worse than a child, more trouble than one too.” He did not mean it. His face reflected some of my own excitement.
~o~
It was hard to sit through breakfast. Watching everyone eat and talk made restless, especially Duester, who met my stares several times. I wanted to begin training, so that, should the occasion arise, I would be able to back up my new sense of authority.
In my bones, I felt the situation was going to arise, and sooner than I might be prepared for. “Where can we train?” I asked without breaking Duester’s gaze. The malevolent look in her eye caused a shiver of fear which then gave way to excitement.
“I know a place. We will talk after breakfast,” Griff said.
“Perfect.”
I had to try not to skip as we left the dining room.
“Could you tone it down? I feel guilty enough as it is.”
I could see he really did. If it was not so important, I would let him off the hook. Betrayal was not in his nature. It was not in mine either, but that is what it felt like and I was forcing his involvement.
Everything I did in this place made me feel like a villain. The only thing that ever felt right was being kind to Jaxson, and that was the one thing that should feel wrong.
~o~
“Ready?” Griff asked again.
“If you keep asking me in that tone, I am not sure I will be able to say yes.”
He grinned.
“I am not giving up, Griff!” Though my aching ribs disagreed with my comment. I widened my stance and braced myself when I saw the shift in his muscles.
“You are only going to try to knock me down, not hit me, right?”
“Your opponent is not going to tell you what she plans, before she does it,” he responded, and took a menacing step forward.
“Right.”
“Loosen your stance,” he ordered.
I did not take my eyes off him. I already learned that painful lesson earlier, but I relaxed my leg muscles.
He took another step which brought him closer than it should have. I fought the instinct to brace for impact. He advanced, about to grab me. I dodged, feeling my muscles hum with an energy that felt wild, like an animal’s. This was what it was like to feel truly alive.
With speed that thrilled and frightened me, I swept Griff’s legs with one of mine while pushing him down with my hands. He hit the floor and my reaction was stunted by my shock. Before I realized what was happening, I was lying on my back, the wind knocked out of me.
Griff’s laugh was thunderous. My face burned with frustration. It still took a minute before I regained my breath.
“You could not let me have one small victory?” I asked, still flat on my back.
“Your opponent will not.” All the laughter was gone from his voice. I knew he was right. He stood up and loomed over me like a giant, offering a hand.
I shook my head. “I need a minute.”
“How about we take lunch and see how you feel then?”
“Okay.”
He pulled me to my feet and it felt like all my bones had to shift to re-find their proper places. He chuckled as I shrugged and wiggled to help them along. I glared back.
“This was your idea.”
“I think you are enjoying abusing me a little too much. If you were my friend, you would have ju
st said no.”
“I did.”
“No, you said ‘Jaxson would not approve.’” I wiggled my head and mocked his voice. “Ensuring my commitment by appealing to my sense of rebellion and refusal to be controlled.”
“If I had said no, would the same thing not have happened?”
“Oh, shut up.” I turned and stomped away. He caught up to me at the door, all smiles.
~o~
I was busy ignoring Griff and his ear to ear grin when the dining room suddenly tensed. It was so quiet I could hear that I was the only one breathing. I did not need to look up to know Jaxson had just walked in.
The air changed; it was sweet. Even the food I was chewing tasted better; and my throbbing sides hurt less.
I kept my head down, trying to deny the fact that my entire being craved his presence, that he soothed an ache I was unaware was there until it was quieted.
I glanced at Griff and his grin looked, if possible, even more smug. He had that look my sister used to get just before she tattled. The, you are about to get in big trouble look.
“Jaxson!” Griff called in an overly enthusiastic tone.
Unable to pretend any longer, I looked up. Jaxson’s expression was unreadable, but his strut was fast and agitated. I had a feeling Griff’s look was right. I smiled and stood to greet him. His features softened, though he remained tense. He walked around the table and reached for me without a word, pulling me into a gentle embrace.
His fingers glided over my ribs with more purpose than normal, like he was examining me.
“Are you alright?” he whispered into my hair.
“Yes.” I pulled back to look at him. He looked fierce, like a lion, but his touch was as gentle as a breeze. His protectiveness was palpable, peppering the air with his scent.
“Does food taste better when I am near?” I surprised myself with the question.
His whole demeanor changed. His grin let me know just how deeply my question pleased him. Before I could feel embarrassed for sharing just how much of an affect he had on me, he leaned in close and kissed me passionately.
“Now try the food,” he said, pulling away. I sat back down and he took his seat next to me. I cut a piece of my chicken and placed it in my mouth. It was better than any chicken. Ever.
I looked at him completely in awe. “It has never been like this before.”
“You have always kept a distance.” His voice was melancholy, then he smiled. “This is what you have been denying yourself all these years.”
I knew why Anaya tried to make me avoid the things I had shared with him over the last few days.
“It is not only me that has gone without for so long.” I touched his hand. “For that I am sorry.”
“I am a patient man. I knew you would come around. It is but a second in eternity.”
I knew that was not true. He suffered much due to her selfishness. It was this, my time with him that would feel like only a second when I was gone. Living with Anaya then would be torture, knowing what he could have but did not.
I felt her satisfaction at the thought, and wondered if that was her end game all along.
~o~
Back in the room, it was just me and Griff. I could admit how much I hurt. Standing in front of the mirror, I realized there was no way I was going to be able to hide the day’s activities from Jaxson. They were spelled out in black and blue across my back and sides.
“I am on to you.”
Griff looked up as I returned from the washroom. He smiled innocently, but said nothing.
“You did this on purpose so Jaxson would know,” I said, holding up the side of my shirt.
He blushed. “I did what you asked. I did not take it easy on you. I wanted you to know what you might expect.” His grin told me he left out that if it also told on me that was a bonus he would be pleased with.
“And I suppose you had no idea he was coming to lunch either?”
“He might have mentioned it.”
I rolled my eyes and collapsed onto the bed. Every muscle tightened in protest, then slowly relaxed.
“No training this afternoon?” he asked with a chuckle.
Ignoring him, I tried not to pay attention to the nausea my sore muscles caused. I grabbed a pillow and tucked it behind my head. My eyelids felt heavy, so I closed them.
“Anaya, Anaya.” Griff gently shook me.
“I am sorry. I did not mean to fall asleep.” I yawned and stretched.
“You were talking in your sleep.” His face was pale.
“I was?”
He nodded and his face got paler.
“Griff?”
“I think you might have been talking to her.” He nodded his head toward me.
“To Reka?”
“Maybe.”
“Yeah, she pesters me in my dreams a lot.” I waved my hand like it was no big deal, but his expression and ghostly pallor frightened me. Did I give myself away?
He moved back to his chair, but the light heartedness from earlier was gone. His eyes were aimed straight at me, every muscle tense. The guard he was supposed to be.
I rolled over and tried not to make a sound as the tears just kept coming.
“Griff, will you please call a bath for me?”
“Yes, my lady.”
I waited until he turned his back, then headed for the washroom.
“How may I be of service,” a voice issued from the wall.
“I need a bath and Anaya’s girls.”
“No girls, just the bath,” I called from just inside the door where he would not see me if he looked.
“No girls, just the bath,” he corrected.
“Right away,” the unknown voice responded.
I could hear Griff shifting in his chair.
“Anaya?” He sounded concerned. “If you need to talk about anything, ever, I am here.”
“Thank you, Griff.” I wished I could take him up on his offer, but this was my burden to bear, alone.
The water soothed every aching muscle. With no girls here to panic, I sank down into the water, letting it rise over my head. It could not wash away all my troubles, but floating on my back in the warm water, I could pretend for a little while.
The minute Jaxson entered the bedroom I could feel him. Panicked, I scrambled to get to my drying cloth before he could see my bruises.
My ears perked as the tinkling of the wall sounded. Jaxson was still in the room. I hated to admit it, but his presence relaxed me. It must have been Griff leaving.
“All finished?” Jaxson asked from the doorway.
“I did not realize it was so late. I apologize. It will only take a moment to get ready.”
“I am early.” He took his time walking toward me. Stopping just short of me, he leaned against the cabinet.
“How was your day?” he asked.
“It was quiet. How was yours?”
“Also quiet.” He smiled.
It was odd to be near him and not touch him, but I would not be the one to initiate contact. I found it was harder to keep my distance than I expected.
He watched me for a moment. When I did not say anything, he moved to the bath. Sitting on the edge, he dipped his hand in.
“Still hot?” His eyebrow raised.
I shrugged. “I did not want to hold up dinner.”
“You have plenty of time. Would you like to resume your bath?”
“I am dried already,” I said, shaking my head.
“If you do not mind waiting, I would like to bathe then.”
“Not at all, take your time, my dear.”
A small smile played at his lips, but he turned away and I was unable to determine the cause of his amusement.
A strong whiff of his scent filled the air as he sank down into the warm water. I lingered for a moment, then forced myself out of the room, cursing Anaya for the comfort I had to deny myself.
I pulled several dresses from the bureau. All of them left parts of my back exposed, which would reveal
my bruises. Finally I gave up on the dresses and pulled on my animal skin pants and bodice. It covered the bruises, just barely.
There was the thin strip of skin between the pants and the top to worry about. Jaxson’s eyes were keen. I could not hope they would miss any imperfection.
I turned to see if Jaxson needed a drying cloth and nearly gasped. Jaxson was leaning against the doorway watching me, a hint of a smile on his lips.
“How long have you been standing there?” I asked and immediately regretted how demanding my tone was. “I did not hear you come in.” I tried to sound casual.
“Does that bother you?”
“No, I have just been more aware of you lately. I guess I was distracted.”
His eyes tracked up and down my body. “I cannot imagine why.” He smiled.
Even now, after all of me that he had seen, his comment still made me blush. He moved slowly toward me. Unconsciously, I turned into him.
His hands slipped under the edge of my top. He leaned in and kissed me. I forgot about dinner, or hating him, and kissed him back.
Too quickly he pulled back to look at me. “We should get you some food.”
“I am not that hungry,” I responded, feeling breathless.
“You will be.” He kissed me again, then got dressed. I sat on the bed and tried to conjure the image of him looking wild just before he cut the worm out of Anaya’s back. She was quick to help me remember.
~o~
The food tasted better than ever. I ordered seconds and tried not to let the way Griff stared at me, spoil my enjoyment of it.
The more I ate, the happier Jaxson seemed. After two plates, I decided it was time to call it a night, though I could have eaten more.
How awful it must be to fight the pull Jaxson had, denying herself the benefits of being with him for a thousand years. Did Anaya know what she was missing out on? It was clear Jaxson did. Yet somehow he never seemed even the tiniest bit bitter.
“Love?”
I looked up to see Jaxson looking concerned. The only emotion that was genuine from the very beginning, even before he experienced the passion he so desired.
“Yes?”
He moved closer. “You seem distant. Are you still worrying about Duester?”
“A little.”
Children of the Gods - A Chosen Novel Page 7
