“I promise I will not let her near Reka’s family. I have granted them a pass.” He brushed his hand over my face hesitantly.
They were safe. I did not care about myself in that moment. Unable to restrain myself I pulled him into a hug, pressing my face to his chest so he could not see the tears that welled up in my eyes.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
He raised my face up so I was looking him in the eyes. His expression was intense. “I will do anything to make you happy. Anything.”
A shudder ran through me, reminding me he was speaking to Anaya, not me. He kissed me and I tried not to think of what would happen if he found out it was me, and not Anaya, he was about to take to bed.
Chapter 12
Griff was quiet as he watched Jaxson kiss me goodbye.
“Take good care of her,” Jaxson said to Griff casually as he left. He seemed more light hearted this morning.
Griff’s eyebrows knitted together and he looked at me like he was willing me to mentally hear his questions. I was sure I knew what they were, too.
“Fast healing. A bonus I get for having the Kincha worm.”
His expression turned sour.
“Turn around.”
He complied.
“What kind of punishment are you going to inflict today?” I asked as I dressed.
“I thought we would start with you on the offensive.”
~o~
When he first said it, offensive sounded great. Maybe I would get a chance to repay the abuse I suffered the day before. Standing there, with him looking impassable, I was doubting my sanity.
“You want me to just attack?” I asked.
“How about you try to hit me for starters.”
That did not sound quite as bad as hurling my body at him. I stepped forward and swung. Before I even knew what was happening, my arm was twisted behind my back in an unnatural way and the ground was rising up to meet me. I threw a leg forward to try and catch myself. Griff’s other arm wrapped around my waist, catching me before my face collided with my own knee.
“How is this supposed to help me, Griff?”
“I wanted to show you how effective a good block can be. I thought it would be better to have you hit me, rather than me beating on you, over and over, while you are trying to figure it out.”
He sounded sincerely sorry, but I was unconvinced he was not still enjoying making me regret asking him to lie to Jaxson.
“Maybe we can tone it down a bit, so I can understand what you are doing, while you are doing it.”
“That was toned down,” he said, quietly.
~o~
My arms throbbed from being contorted into all kinds of unpleasant angles.
“Are you going to stare me to death?” Griff asked, his tone sarcastic.
“I need a minute,” I said, holding up a finger. His lips twitched, but it was not what I would call a smile. He looked like a bull about to charge.
“Griff, wait!”
He did not wait. He moved, swift like a cat, reaching for me, not to hit but to grab me. I reacted without thought, grabbing his arm. I spun out of the way and twisted his arm like he had done to mine so many times.
He held still and I let go.
“Good job,” he said, patting me on the back.
“Really? You did not just let me have that, did you?”
He looked sheepish. “Maybe a little.”
I nudged his shoulder. “Thanks.”
“Lunch?”
I nodded. “I am famished.”
My hair comb slipped from my hair and fell toward the floor. Griff bent to grab it at the same time I reached for it, cracking me with his head. Little stars popped in front of my eyes. I stumbled and he reached out to steady me. Something warm trickled down my forehead.
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah, you will have to teach me that technique some time. It is very effective.”
“Yes, well it requires a very hard head.” He reached up to wipe the trickle of blood from my brow. There was a sudden flash of images racing through my head. I gasped and stumbled back, away from his touch.
“Griff?” I looked up at him. “How did you…the memories…” I sank to the floor. He stood frozen, a look of horror on his face.
“They were yours?” I whispered, as realization hit.
“No, I… I did not mean to show you any memory.”
The tears flooded in before I could steel myself against them. As the first ones fell, I realized I did not care if he saw me cry.
Griff scooped me up and carried me back to the room, cradling me in his arms. He set me on the bed and stood back.
“I did not mean to show you anything,” he whispered. “I am so sorry.”
“Griff, do you think you could bring lunch here? I am not up to going to the dining room.”
“Of course.” He bowed and headed out of the room right away. I think he was relieved to be free of me, and I needed a moment to think, alone.
The images flooded back to me. They were memories I was familiar with, only they looked very different through his eyes.
Jaxson was leaning over Anaya. She looked wild, manic even.
“I am dying, Jaxson. I do not want to die.”
“You know there is a way to save you.” His tone was pleading.
“No, I do not want that.”
“Anaya, if you go through the Living Waters with me, it will heal you. It would only take a few weeks and you would be as good as new.”
“I do not want it that way. Please, you have to save me. You have to find another way, otherwise…” She paused and took a deep breath. It looked like it was a struggle for her to do so. “Jaxson,” she gripped his arm, “I am going to die.”
“I will find a way to save you. Hold on.” His voice was soft and gentle. As it was in Anaya’s memory, but this time, I realized, he also seemed sad.
He and Griff left Anaya on the bed and went out into the hall.
“What am I going to do?” Jaxson asked.
“You could force her into the Living Waters. It is not like she could stop you.”
“No, I am not going to force her to do anything. Besides it is more likely, she would actually poison me with her hatred.”
“Her Kincha could survive in another host, could it not?”
Jaxson stood frozen, looking like he was considering what Griff had suggested, and was horrified by it.
“I do not know. How could I force someone else into this life? If Anaya comes with the Kincha, what would happen to that person? If not, would I just end up trapped with someone new who hates me? I think it is just best to let her go. She is miserable, and so am I.”
“You will be alone,” Griff pleaded.
“Alone is better than what I have now. I am tired of always doing my duty.”
“Will you not also die, once she is gone?”
“It is for the best. I have lived too many lifetimes already. Maybe the Osidian are right. Maybe it is unnatural for us to live so long. I envy you, Griff. At least you know you have a soul. I feel empty inside. Maybe my soul passed on a decade ago when my body should have.”
Jaxson looked so sad. I ached for him, for a pain and a life I could never imagine being forced to live.
“It is an easy thing for the Osidian to be self-righteous when they can choose not to accept their Kincha. You were never given the luxury of choice, to accept your Kincha or your role as king. Destiny chose you, Jaxson. You are exactly as you should be.”
They were both silent for a moment. Both looking lost in thought.
Jaxson looked up at Griff. There was a sudden gleam in his eyes. “You would finally be—”
Griff interrupted, “No, do not ever think that way. Besides, you are needed now more than ever, when there is such turmoil. The war with the Osidian is worse than it has ever been.”
“Destiny would call another, Griff. A new king would be born. Our people could survive until he is of age. Maybe life would be better for everyone
that way.”
His memory was not like my dream. It did not jump forward in time to the point where he did save her. It ended there, leaving me to wonder what made him change his mind. Anaya was not forthcoming with the answer.
I did not know what this meant for how I felt about Jaxson. One thing I was sure of though, Anaya had lied to me in the retelling of her history through her memories as a means to gain what she wanted. She could no longer be trusted.
Griff arrived with food. He entered the room cautiously.
“It is ok, Griff. I am not going to fall apart again.”
He smiled a weak smile and placed my food before me. I was hungrier than I realized. We were both silent while we ate, but he watched me carefully.
“I should get Jaxson,” Griff said as he took my tray.
I touched his arm. “Please do not. I really am alright. It will only worry him needlessly, and he has more than enough burdens already.”
“Alright,” he said, but seemed unsure. He walked to the bureau and put the tray down. He remained there with his back to me for a moment. Finally, he turned and looked me directly in the eyes. “What did you see?”
“You have nothing to worry about, Griff. It was just something to give me a little clarity. That is all.”
He stood there a moment longer, looking lost in thought. Finally he sat down, keeping his eyes averted, never meeting my gaze.
“Life rarely deals us a fair hand,” I said, still watching him.
“That is for sure.”
“And it is rarely ever what you expect.”
“Of that I am certain.” He looked uncomfortable and I wondered where his mind wandered as I spoke.
“Even the bad things do not work out the way we think. Often the things you expect to be the worst, turn out to be the things you treasure the most.”
He looked up and locked eyes with me. The world around us seemed to slow, almost to a blur. I could hear the rush of blood in my head. Then he spoke, and his voice brought the world back to speed. “Are we speaking of you, or of me?”
“Neither.” I waved my hand. “I was merely speaking of life in general.”
His eyes never left my face for the rest of the afternoon. They returned to their intrusive, searching stare, as if he could pull my secrets out with his eyes. And honestly, I was unsure he could not do exactly that. Sometimes it felt like he could see right through me.
Griff left in haste the moment Jaxson returned. Jaxson, luckily, did not appear to notice. His eyes were glued to me. His expression of concern, and something more frightening, caused my stomach to flutter.
He crossed the room in two strides and was kneeling in front of me before I could offer a welcome. “Are you alright?” he asked, as his fingers brushed lightly over my tender forehead. There was pain in his eyes.
“Yes, I am okay.”
“What happened?”
“I was clumsy is all.”
He kissed my forehead. “Does it hurt?”
I shook my head. “Not much, but do you mind if we stay in for dinner?”
He smiled. “That sounds perfect.”
When I asked to eat in, it was simply to avoid Duester or anyone else seeing my injury. I was still confused about all I had seen that afternoon in Griff’s memory. When Jaxson began casually offering me bites of his food, I was not prepared for how intimate eating alone with him was. It was another of those moments when I realized the man feeding me grape tomatoes, was largely my life. It was startling that I did not completely hate the thought.
Anaya, on the other hand, was not happy with my thoughts. She had been silent since the accident with Griff had revealed some of Jaxson’s true character and her deception.
She always was more trouble when Jaxson was present though. I do not think she liked feeling the emotions I had for him.
“Would you mind if I disappeared for a moment, Love?” His eyes glinted like a child’s.
“What are you up to?”
“Me? Up to something?” He acted wounded.
“Fine, but do hurry back.” I dismissed him with a wave of my hand. He grabbed it and drew me close. The sudden action and his body pressed against mine made me light headed. His lips were close to mine, but he only looked deep in my eyes. My stomach fluttered when he finally kissed me.
He let me down gently, back onto the bed, kissed my hand, then turned and left. I was speechless. I felt disappointed as I watched him go.
The memories started the moment the wall closed. The first one was of the night I broke my own rule, and used my gift to entice Niko to dance with me.
Anaya stood close to Jaxson, her arm wrapped around his. This made me angrier than the fact that she was watching me. It took a moment to realize she was more than just watching me. She was leading Jaxson along, trailing after me.
It was so stupid of me to do what I had done, but now I wondered if it mattered. If Anaya had chosen me, I never had a chance. Why did she choose me?
Suddenly the memory shifted and we were in the market.
It was a day like any other. People were stopping at many of the street vendors. No money was required, but there was often bartering for things you could not get from the normal rations.
Devlin, a neighbor who lived just three houses from mine, stopped at the butchers. “Marcus,” he said, in good spirits.
“Devlin, what can I get you?”
“That ham would make a fine feast for my daughter’s celebration. She has paired with Michael.”
“Congratulations!” Marcus responded. “Unfortunately that is for the God Queen. How about a turkey?”
“Of course, that would be lovely.”
The disappointment was clear on Devlin’s face. We were not allowed to eat pork until we were past the age of Choosing. It would have been quite a nice meal for the celebration.
The memory did not end there. Moments later I walked up to Marcus. I felt sick as my own memory of that day mixed with Anaya’s.
I had met up with Devlin on the way in and he expressed his disappointment. Not knowing the ham was for the Halorans, I offered to barter with Marcus.
“Marcus.” I leaned in close. “I know you have had your eye on one of my blankets.”
“You are very observant. My wife loves your work,” he replied, hopeful.
“I hear you have a ham?”
He paused for a moment. I smiled innocently at him, hoping he would give in. He ran a hand through his hair. I gave him a pleading, doe eyed look.
“Oh, alright.” He heaved a heavy sigh, but handed the ham over.
As I walked away, Jaxson approached Marcus. He had not been standing with Anaya, who watched the whole thing.
I always thought my gift was limited to dancing, like it was with my mother. I was not so sure anymore. Was I as guilty as her, bending people to my will, even to the point of getting them in trouble?
“I get the picture. You think we are not so different. Only I would not have asked if I knew the consequences. If I knew what I was doing.”
She was silent again. She knew the seeds of doubt and shame she had planted were already growing. Maybe that was all she wanted, to make me feel as bad as I thought she was. She was succeeding.
Jaxson returned with a platter and a huge smile. Settling in front of me, he dropped down onto the bed and crossed his legs. He playfully slapped my hand away when I reached for the tray.
“What have you got there?” My interest was piqued.
“Close your eyes and I will show you.”
I gave him a skeptical look.
“Close them,” he said authoritatively, then smiled, clearly enjoying himself.
I closed my eyes and opened my mouth, and was rewarded with the most decadent confection I had ever tasted. It was creamy and cool, with a flavor unlike any I ever encountered before.
I opened my eyes and his face was close to mine. He was watching me, his lips puckered in a look of satisfaction.
“No peeking.” He brushed his fi
ngers across my eyelids, ensuring I complied. His lips were soft at first, brushing against mine. I leaned forward, expectant, but he pulled away.
“Patience, Love.” His breath was warm on my face, his scent sweet. It made me feel urgent rather than patient. He gave me another treat. This time the flavor was far more intense. I realized it was the same treat, only now, I was tasting it under the influence of his kiss.
This time when he leaned in, I was rewarded for my patience with a passionate kiss. He did not pull away when I kissed him back.
Chapter 13
When I woke Jaxson was leaning over me, looking fierce, like a wild animal. His eyes were wide and frantic. Every inch of my skin prickled. My breath felt ragged in my chest. I sucked in hard trying to relax myself, but it only came in shallow gasps.
Did he know? Was I talking in my sleep again?
Suddenly I could not draw a breath, not even a shallow one. My chest felt tight, like it was about to explode. I coughed, then gagged.
Jaxson leaned over me and his expression was more frightening than before. He looked desperate, fearful. I tried to sit up, but I could only move my arms, and even they felt stiff.
Pain rocked through my chest, shaking and rattling me to my bones. Jaxson knowing my secret was no longer my biggest fear. I reached for him and clutched his arm.
“I think I am dying, Jaxson.”
He held my arms, and now he only looked frightened.
“I do not want to die.” Tears spilled down my face involuntarily. My breath was more shallow than before; it was hard to draw it all.
“You know there is a way to save you,” Jaxson said, quietly and looked away.
“I do not want it that way. Please, Jaxson, you have to save me. You have to find another way.” I did not know why I said it. I just knew what he offered horrified me, and I did not want it.
The light in his eyes dimmed, the concern faded. He seemed far away, almost vacant looking.
“I will find a way to save you. Hold on, Reka.” His voice sounded hollow, like his words were automatic. A ripple of fear and excitement rushed over me. He said my name, not hers. It was then that I realized it was not dying I feared. What I was afraid of was losing him, but I did not want it to be like this. I did not want him powerless to resist. I was not like Anaya. Was I?
Children of the Gods - A Chosen Novel Page 8
